city-data.com has forums where people discuss cities openly, you'd get a lot of personal opinions. I referred to that site when I was purchasing a home. I'd try to watch youtube videos if you can find them for the cities you're considering as I think you'll get more from that than from, say, reading wikipedia pages alone. I also live in the midwest, and as most left-coasters would tell you, there is something almost magical about California, with a COL to match. I have enjoyed every second I've spent there. Chicago is nice, too. Indy and St. Louis are similar for me. Little big cities with things to do and charm. Detroit has a lot of opportunity to serve if you're into that, and the people there seem to be working really hard to preserve the culture and reverse some of the problems. I haven't been to the east coast so I don't have any personal opinions there and you've ruled out the south.
