homesick...

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Ferdie

Ferdie

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I'm out on the east coast right now for an interview, and I am feeling so homesick... This town is beautiful, really, really beautiful, and I like everything I've read about the program (dinner tonight, interview tomorrow, so we'll see), but I don't know if I could live here, or anywhere I've interviewed at so far. I'm a midwestern girl, and even the midwestern programs I've interviewed at don't feel like "home" to me. I lived in Europe for a year while in college and was fine with that (although I went to college (and med school) only about 3 hours away from my family - in state tuition...), but residency is 4 years long, and those years (I'm guessing) will be filled with new stresses, for which having my family and friends around me for support will be invaluable.

I guess I feel like I will rank my home program first because I'm afraid to move away... I'm 25 years old and I feel like I'm about 8 right now, homesick and afraid. My home program is great, I will get excellent training there, but I'm feeling like such a wimp. I don't want to become a boring, inert person.

Is anyone else dealing with these sorts of feelings? Or am I truly being immature (I'm supposed to be nearly a doctor for pete's sake...). Is there any "shame" in staying at your home program, if the program is a good one?

(I think also the stress of trying to figure out if my long-term boyfriend, who is not in medicine, will be moving with me is contributing to my emotion right now, but that's beyond the scope of this)
 
hey -- i am homesick too. i have been on the road traveling for the past three months doing away rotations, living in a hotel...it sucks. don't get down on yourself for being homesick or for not wanting to move away...these are totally normal feelings...you are NOT a wimp. if your home program is great you are lucky! i have to move, sell my house, uproot my husband etc as there are no residencies near me. you are lucky that you have a great program in your backyard where all your friends are. you are lucky!!! (and i am envious ;-)
cheer up!-- if you are happy some where, for god's sake don't leave just over the feeling like you should!
residency is going to suck from time to time where ever you go keeping the support system is a great idea.
i think you should happily stay at your home program (...unless of course it happens to be my first choice, in which case i think you should go elsewhere ;-)
hang in there -- its only 113 days until match day?!?! i think the stress of all of this is getting to everyone.
 
I remember that feeling quite a bit. It IS really hard to think about leaving home, and it's certainly hard to be out on the road day after day. I remember being in an airport, on my way to god-knows-where, and seeing a flight back to my hometown at an adjacent terminal and thinking, "I should blow this interview and just go home..." Anyway, it'll pass. As far as homesickness during interviews goes, I remember being a little let down when it was all over. I guess I had grown to like the jet-set lifestyle! (mostly kidding). But when you move for residency, you'll meet a ton of new people (anesthesiology classes tend to be larger than most residency classes), and you'll probably settle in just fine... (But if you don't, you'll have more free time than most of your peers for taking trips back home!).
 
thanks for the sympathy and advice guys.
you're right, I do have a wonderful program that I'm happy at right in my own (current) backyard, and if I'm happy there and would get good training, then I shouldn't feel bad about staying. I've been encouraged by some (the chief of surgery, for example, who I worked with last year) to go away for a few years and learn new things and then bring that info back after my training is done, but I just need to do what's best for me...
I guess I'm just overwhelmed with how monumentous the decisions I'm making right now have the potential to be. If I stay where I'm at, life will go on as usual, and I'll keep living with my boyfriend and probably marry him in a few years. If I go elsewhere, who knows. I guess whether my SO will come with is not entirely outside the scope of what's stressing me out... Big decisions.
 
no pressure or anything: but decide if he's the one for you...if yes, he factors in the decision...if no, he shouldn't....

pm me if you want....
 
Ferdie said:
I'm out on the east coast right now for an interview, and I am feeling so homesick... This town is beautiful, really, really beautiful, and I like everything I've read about the program (dinner tonight, interview tomorrow, so we'll see), but I don't know if I could live here, or anywhere I've interviewed at so far. I'm a midwestern girl, and even the midwestern programs I've interviewed at don't feel like "home" to me. I lived in Europe for a year while in college and was fine with that (although I went to college (and med school) only about 3 hours away from my family - in state tuition...), but residency is 4 years long, and those years (I'm guessing) will be filled with new stresses, for which having my family and friends around me for support will be invaluable.

I guess I feel like I will rank my home program first because I'm afraid to move away... I'm 25 years old and I feel like I'm about 8 right now, homesick and afraid. My home program is great, I will get excellent training there, but I'm feeling like such a wimp. I don't want to become a boring, inert person.

Is anyone else dealing with these sorts of feelings? Or am I truly being immature (I'm supposed to be nearly a doctor for pete's sake...). Is there any "shame" in staying at your home program, if the program is a good one?

(I think also the stress of trying to figure out if my long-term boyfriend, who is not in medicine, will be moving with me is contributing to my emotion right now, but that's beyond the scope of this)
Click to expand...

My answer to the question I have bolded...definitely yes. I can relate a good bit to the way you're feeling. My wife has grown up in the area we now live (her parents are about half an hour away, and they have been very supportive of us), and she and I have made quite a few friends and connections in the D-FW area. My medical school also has an anesthesia program that will provide great clinical training in pretty much anything you can think of.

The reason I say all that is this...it seems as if I have the perfect set-up with a good anesthesia program right here in town. At first, I thought that it would take quite a lot not for me to rank my med school's program #1. Now, having seen a few other programs and what they have to offer, I now know that this decision is not going to be nearly as easy as I thought it would be. I do have to weigh what we do have here where we live vs. what programs elsewhere have to offer, and right now I do feel somewhat anxious as to what the best decision is going to be. I'm not sure what advice I can give on the matter, but I can tell you that many of us are feeling the same things as you are... 😀

amyl said:
hey -- i am homesick too. i have been on the road traveling for the past three months doing away rotations, living in a hotel...it sucks. don't get down on yourself for being homesick or for not wanting to move away...these are totally normal feelings...you are NOT a wimp. if your home program is great you are lucky! i have to move, sell my house, uproot my husband etc as there are no residencies near me. you are lucky that you have a great program in your backyard where all your friends are. you are lucky!!! (and i am envious ;-)
cheer up!-- if you are happy some where, for god's sake don't leave just over the feeling like you should!
residency is going to suck from time to time where ever you go keeping the support system is a great idea.
i think you should happily stay at your home program (...unless of course it happens to be my first choice, in which case i think you should go elsewhere ;-)
hang in there -- its only 113 days until match day?!?! i think the stress of all of this is getting to everyone.
Click to expand...

Agree with above. 👍
 
Yes of course Miami....I am interviewing there in January. But I still have to move...it is way too far to commute. I wish I didn't have to sell my house with the way the south florida housing market is but commuting over an hour and a half or so isn't going to work!
 
me tooooooo. On aways/interviews for the last four months. I have been living out of hotels, friends houses and now on the floor of my boyfriends cousin's apt. EEEEK I can't wait to have my own bathroom again and bed. Not to mention I went home for thanksgiving and my cat forgot who I was. =((((
 
lluvia2rain said:
me tooooooo. On aways/interviews for the last four months. I have been living out of hotels, friends houses and now on the floor of my boyfriends cousin's apt. EEEEK I can't wait to have my own bathroom again and bed. Not to mention I went home for thanksgiving and my cat forgot who I was. =((((
Click to expand...

Probably should have gotten a dog😀
 
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