How can I buff myself up before applying? Current third year

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Geraltofrivia

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Hello all,

I'm a 3rd year DO student. I ****ed up USMLE Step 1. I was scoring extremely well on practice exams NBME and UWSA both, 240-250 range. Several days before the real deal I started having genuine anxiety attacks which included me going to an urgent care center. People kept trying to rx me a benzo which I turned down and when I requested an SSRI based on a 3rd year's advice, people would be afraid of its side-effect profile. I understand it's no excuse, but during my actual exam I had a really bad panic attack and I strongly believe it contributed to my score.

I got a 225 on USMLE Step 1. My COMLEX score was in the low 500s as well. I am interested in IM, particularly general IM, rheumatology, pulmonary critical care/intensive care medicine.

I understand my Step 1 score is not ideal, in fact its well below ideal for what I want to do. I thus want to do everything in my power to improve my chances in any other way. I am trying to find a psychiatrist or somebody to get my anxiety treated as it is something I've suffered from, thought I had under control (I was seeing a psychologist in the fall semester for it under fear that something like this would happen, and unfortunately it did not help me gain control as I hoped it would).

During my clinical rotations so far my attends are impressed by my clinical knowledge and are shocked at my score. I know it's no excuse and honestly I have no excuse for why my score is so low, but I really want to improve and prove to people that I am more than capable. I have been feeling extremely depressed and demotivated since I took my exam and even more-so now after I got my score, so to me, making this post is kind of a big deal.

I really hope you guys can provide good help as I really feel extremely disappointed in myself and feel hopeless. Thank you all.
 
If it's any solace, you're not the first and you certainly won't be the last human being that this happens to. Please note the emphasis I placed on human. None of us are perfect. If we were, numerous years of difficult and arduous training to achieve our goal wouldn't be required. Of course, a personal bump in the road like this isn't common only to the medical field. But when we open up the score report to emotions of disappointment, it feels like no one/nothing else in the world matters. I've been there and so have countless others who've jumped through these hoops before us and will for years to come.

I would suggest speaking to your school about anxiety, whether it be performance-related or general. It is indeed a very common issue, and they may have the experience to point you in the right direction. Definitely don't take a med student's advice on anything medical-related. They're in the same position as you and even if they get great grades, perform well clinically, or seem to have your best interests, they do not substitute for a licensed professional. Preferably a psychiatrist and not a 'psychologist'.

Your score, which honestly isn't bad at all, is not a failure nor a reflection of your clinical acumen, no matter how much it doesn't seem to measure up on your personal meter. You haven't closed any doors, with respect to IM and the specialties you're interested in. Continue to knock the socks off 3rd year, and 4th year, and residency, and...you get my drift. The road doesn't end here. Pick yourself up. Dust yourself off. Good luck.

Btw solid name choice, witcher.
 
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I panicked in the days leading up to my MCAT. I wrote my exam with having taken an occasional Ativan to cope and wrote the exam with 0.5 mg of Ativan onboard. I DO NOT RECOMMEND THIS. The MCAT went really well and I'm an MS3 now.
I have had some CBT through student health since and it has really helped dealing with anxiety.


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