How does tutoring my girlfriend sound lol?

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nabilesmail

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Hey guys, I'll be applying to med schools this summer and just wanted to know some advice on how to phrase this. My girlfriend lives 2 hours away from me, she had failed her first 2 tests in physics despite studying very hard. So every other week I would drive the 2 hours and tutor her for 6 hours on a weekday right before her test (she had a test every other week). She ended up scoring an A+ on each test after that (except the final) and got a B+ in the class (which I'm super proud of her for). Anyways this correlated to 3 hrs per week (5 including driving) for the entire semester. I'd like to include this as an extracurricular, (I loved helping her out but things like this do take time away from doing other ecs) how would I phrase this? Say I tutored a friend rather than my girlfriend? I don't know! Haha thanks in advance
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How did she.....uh....pay you?
 
I think the "lol" part of your question sums it up rather nicely.
 
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flatearth22 said:
How did she.....uh....pay you?
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:laugh: Did you see the movie 50/50? Real funny scene in there at the coffee shop, worth a watch. (though overall it was a sad movie with...yeah, a happy ending (literally))..

K, nothing more to add to the conversation

List it, just don't mention that you are...uh...dating her. Just list her as the contact on AAMC and say you tutored physics.
 
nabilesmail said:
Hey guys, I'll be applying to med schools this summer and just wanted to know some advice on how to phrase this. My girlfriend lives 2 hours away from me, she had failed her first 2 tests in physics despite studying very hard. So every other week I would drive the 2 hours and tutor her for 6 hours on a weekday right before her test (she had a test every other week). She ended up scoring an A+ on each test after that (except the final) and got a B+ in the class (which I'm super proud of her for). Anyways this correlated to 3 hrs per week (5 including driving) for the entire semester. I'd like to include this as an extracurricular, (I loved helping her out but things like this do take time away from doing other ecs) how would I phrase this? Say I tutored a friend rather than my girlfriend? I don't know! Haha thanks in advance
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I would not include the driving time.
 
I was a paid freelance tutor for high school students and didn't even list it on AMCAS. This seems like a fluff activity to me (pun sort of intended). Unpaid tutoring, unless it was for an official volunteer program, would add very little to your application. I wouldn't bother putting it on your app.
 
TUTORING
I-See-What-You-Did-There-Rage-Face-Meme.png

RIGHT...
 
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nabilesmail said:
Hey guys, I'll be applying to med schools this summer and just wanted to know some advice on how to phrase this. My girlfriend lives 2 hours away from me, she had failed her first 2 tests in physics despite studying very hard. So every other week I would drive the 2 hours and tutor her for 6 hours on a weekday right before her test (she had a test every other week). She ended up scoring an A+ on each test after that (except the final) and got a B+ in the class (which I'm super proud of her for). Anyways this correlated to 3 hrs per week (5 including driving) for the entire semester. I'd like to include this as an extracurricular, (I loved helping her out but things like this do take time away from doing other ecs) how would I phrase this? Say I tutored a friend rather than my girlfriend? I don't know! Haha thanks in advance
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The sole reason skyping with a high-quality webcam was invented was so that dudes would not have to drive super long distances to do crap for their girlfriends 😎 Seriously, though, working over skype (or any other type of chat) might be more tedious but could save you 4 hours...
 
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Dude, are you serious? Who cares WHO it was you tutored; the fact remains, YOU TUTORED! List it on your application without going into unnecessary detail. Common sense for the win...
 
Haha I tried skyping at first, and it was more frustrating :/

I guess I'll just keep it as peer tutoring

And let's keep it classy guys 😛
 
This reminds me of the thread of the guy who wanted to add "Donating blood" to his activities.
 
Tutoring? So that's what the kids are calling it these days.
 
Wait seriously I don't understand why not? In the 6 hours I was tutoring every other week, all we did was study. It was hectic for me too. I had my longest class day 9am-7pm, barely any breaks, got home and drove 2 hours, tutored from 9pm -3am, went to bed, woke up at 8 am and drove home to class.

I don't see how this is different then tutoring someone else...?
 
Saying peer tutoring 3/hrs week physics wouldn't suffice?
 
Just don't mention she was your girlfriend.
 
nabilesmail said:
Wait seriously I don't understand why not? In the 6 hours I was tutoring every other week, all we did was study. It was hectic for me too. I had my longest class day 9am-7pm, barely any breaks, got home and drove 2 hours, tutored from 9pm -3am, went to bed, woke up at 8 am and drove home to class.

I don't see how this is different then tutoring someone else...?
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Because when the person on the adcom committee sits you down in the chair cross their desk and asks "So, I see you listed tutoring on your application... Did you tutor children in a low income neighborhood or maybe even developmentally delayed children?" and you say "No, I tutored....my girlfriend" you will regret it.

No adcom cares how long you drove for your girlfriend, sorry.

Also, I wouldn't list tutoring friends as peer tutoring.
 
nabilesmail said:
Wait seriously I don't understand why not? In the 6 hours I was tutoring every other week, all we did was study. It was hectic for me too. I had my longest class day 9am-7pm, barely any breaks, got home and drove 2 hours, tutored from 9pm -3am, went to bed, woke up at 8 am and drove home to class.

I don't see how this is different then tutoring someone else...?
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First, my personal opinion, which relates only to the tutoring insofar as it will affect your application: Include it if you have nothing better to include. Don't mention that you were tutoring your girlfriend. Don't mention the driving time (which I wouldn't have understood you meant to include if it weren't for a certain feline). If you have no other teaching experience, why not? I mean, you worked hard, right?

Let me throw this out there, though. Were you tutoring her out of altruism? If not, you certainly can't say you were volunteering, right? And is helping a good friend, possibly your best friend, the same as tutoring? Typically, when you tutor, you don't come into the situation already knowing everything about the person you're going to help, right? A truly meaningful tutoring experience, in my opinion, which might certainly be wrong, is one in which you have a limited (professional) relationship with your tutee and you're able to work despite those professional boundaries in place to achieve results.

I understand where you're coming from. You put in a lot of work by tutoring her. You had substantial results. But if someone knew the whole story, would they consider it something that should help you get into medical school? Because that's the reason you're asked to talk about extracurricular activities on your application: They're supposed to help the med school committee understand the richness of your character and experiences so that they can make a decision on more than just your raw stats. This experience didn't change you significantly, did it? It didn't inspire a new passion in you (no pun intended, seriously), did it? It didn't augment your desire to become a physician, right? And it didn't help you validate your interest in medicine, did it?

Is it possible that you were just helping out a very close friend with something with which she struggled?
 
The way I see it is it shows my compassion in boosting my peers and friends. I also have other teaching experience, I taught a chemistry class to an underpriveledged elementary school, and will also be a math mentor at a local underpriv elementary school this semester. It's just my ec's are already weak/mediocre so I figured why not include all that I have done. I do think it is altruistic because I sacrificed my own study time, my time for extracurriculars, my time to relax to make sure my best friend/girlfriend succeeds. She's premed and by far has the best reasons for being a premed out of anyone I have ever met. I didn't want physics to be the obstacle that stopped her. You are right in the fact that the experience didn't change me or enlighten me, it is a filler. But when I don't have much to go off I think it might be best to include it.

By time I apply I'll have:
1 yr cancer research
150-200 hrs volunteering in a hospital
Taught 8 week chemistry course to underpriv elementary school

Math mentor spring semester
Started a can food drive (with my Gf haha, over winter break till present) trying to get 500 lbs of food.

Possibly 50 hours of shadowing.

1 yr intermeural football

4 years of weight training

can play drums and a bit of guitar/piano (not excellent at any though)

Since I don't have very many things I think it would be okay to right peer tutoring 3 hrs week ( and not mention the distance). People mention tutoring all the time, some even paid. How is paid tutoring more altruistic or a better indicator of a good medical student then what I did?

And actually, it did help me. This alongside my 8 week course that I taught really told me that I enjoy teaching. Maybe not as much as I would enjoy being a doctor, but something that I would definitely look into in the future. I honestly see myself teaching medicine when I'm much older. These 2 reasons are why I chose to become a math mentor (math tutor) this semester. I really do enjoy teaching.
 
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nabilesmail said:
The way I see it is it shows my compassion in boosting my peers and friends. I also have other teaching experience, I taught a chemistry class to an underpriveledged elementary school, and will also be a math mentor at a local underpriv elementary school this semester. It's just my ec's are already weak/mediocre so I figured why not include all that I have done. I do think it is altruistic because I sacrificed my own study time, my time for extracurriculars, my time to relax to make sure my best friend/girlfriend succeeds. She's premed and by far has the best reasons for being a premed out of anyone I have ever met. I didn't want physics to be the obstacle that stopped her. You are right in the fact that the experience didn't change me or enlighten me, it is a filler. But when I don't have much to go off I think it might be best to include it.

By time I apply I'll have:
1 yr cancer research
150-200 hrs volunteering in a hospital
Taught 8 week chemistry course to underpriv elementary school

Math mentor spring semester
Started a can food drive (with my Gf haha, over winter break till present) trying to get 500 lbs of food.

Possibly 50 hours of shadowing.

Since I don't have very many things I think it would be okay to right peer tutoring 3 hrs week ( and not mention the distance).
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Just to reiterate, I understand and we agree that you sacrificed your time to tutor your girlfriend. But true altruism is giving without expecting anything in return, and it's hard for me to believe, though not impossible to make a case for, that when tutoring a significant other, you have nothing to gain. If she is accepted to medical school and you marry her, you get to reap the rewards of her career by having increased income and status.

Again, I don't think that you would definitely be wrong to include it in your application. All I'm advising is that you consider it carefully and try to understand how putting this activity on your application MIGHT, I repeat, MIGHT not be playing the game completely fairly to the point where it borders on cheating. I can't emphasize enough, though, that this paragraph is not an accusation, but an invitation to think hard. You have months to consider it and gain some other "compassionate" activities, and your integrity might be spared a blow.

Edit: Also, rereading your other post, starting a canned food drive with your girlfriend, in which those who benefit from your service are people in need, is very different from tutoring your girlfriend, in which she (and you, perhaps, as I mentioned) is the only party who benefits.
 
nabilesmail said:
By time I apply I'll have:
1 yr cancer research
150-200 hrs volunteering in a hospital
Taught 8 week chemistry course to underpriv elementary school

Math mentor spring semester
Started a can food drive (with my Gf haha, over winter break till present) trying to get 500 lbs of food.

Possibly 50 hours of shadowing.
Click to expand...
You do whatever, but all of the things above are great. Listing peer tutoring is just filler, and you're not going to be able to explain it in interviews without lying. You're making the great things look cheap.

But really, it was a great thing you did for your girlfriend.
 
I don't think this would count as an EC. I tutored my gf many times, though not on a formal schedule. She paid me very generously...
 
tantacles said:
Just to reiterate, I understand and we agree that you sacrificed your time to tutor your girlfriend. But true altruism is giving without expecting anything in return, and it's hard for me to believe, though not impossible to make a case for, that when tutoring a significant other, you have nothing to gain. If she is accepted to medical school and you marry her, you get to reap the rewards of her career by having increased income and status.

Again, I don't think that you would definitely be wrong to include it in your application. All I'm advising is that you consider it carefully and try to understand how putting this activity on your application MIGHT, I repeat, MIGHT not be playing the game completely fairly to the point where it borders on cheating. I can't emphasize enough, though, that this paragraph is not an accusation, but an invitation to think hard. You have months to consider it and gain some other "compassionate" activities, and your integrity might be spared a blow.

Edit: Also, rereading your other post, starting a canned food drive with your girlfriend, in which those who benefit from your service are people in need, is very different from tutoring your girlfriend, in which she (and you, perhaps, as I mentioned) is the only party who benefits.
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Sorry! Didn't mean to make my post sound like a defense post. I initially made this topic to discuss HOW i should phrase it, since I know it sounds sketchy if I say (I tutored my girlfriend lolz).

I could care less for status or money. I helped her because I care that she gets to where she wants to be. She is constantly insecure with school, some of her friends discourage her. Yet she works harder than anyone I know, and has some truly rare qualities. She is someone that has mentioned 1010103 times that she would still become a doctor if a doctor made minimum wage. Not many people can say that. Hell, I can't even say that, I really want to be a doctor for many reasons, but if I could not support my family, then that would be a deal breaker.

Now that I think about it, I really do feel tutoring her ignited my semi-passion for teaching. The only thing would be talking about it. I don't want to mention she is my girlfriend because it would appear to take away the credit. Also, I did not expect any rewards out of this. I have just been thinking about it as of late, that I technically tutored for a decent amount of time, and that is a normal activity for med school ec's. Initially, I had nothing to gain.

The problem is these EC's are set in stone. I do not have anymore time to do more EC's. This is my last semester until I apply and I am

researching 10 hrs/week
School full time
Math mentor 3 hrs/week
Mcat studying 30 hrs/week
Girlfriend (ALL OTHER TIME IN THE WEEK!! Seriously, How do people get 483734 hours of volunteering 8 different research jobs, 600 hrs curing cancer, 3,000 hrs organizing the UN+ all this stuff!!!)
 
nabilesmail said:
Sorry! Didn't mean to make my post sound like a defense post. I initially made this topic to discuss HOW i should phrase it, since I know it sounds sketchy if I say (I tutored my girlfriend lolz).

I could care less for status or money. I helped her because I care that she gets to where she wants to be. She is constantly insecure with school, some of her friends discourage her. Yet she works harder than anyone I know, and has some truly rare qualities. She is someone that has mentioned 1010103 times that she would still become a doctor if a doctor made minimum wage. Not many people can say that. Hell, I can't even say that, I really want to be a doctor for many reasons, but if I could not support my family, then that would be a deal breaker.

Now that I think about it, I really do feel tutoring her ignited my semi-passion for teaching. The only thing would be talking about it. I don't want to mention she is my girlfriend because it would appear to take away the credit. Also, I did not expect any rewards out of this. I have just been thinking about it as of late, that I technically tutored for a decent amount of time, and that is a normal activity for med school ec's. Initially, I had nothing to gain.

The problem is these EC's are set in stone. I do not have anymore time to do more EC's. This is my last semester until I apply and I am

researching 10 hrs/week
School full time
Math mentor 3 hrs/week
Mcat studying 30 hrs/week
Girlfriend (ALL OTHER TIME IN THE WEEK!! Seriously, How do people get 483734 hours of volunteering 8 different research jobs, 600 hrs curing cancer, 3,000 hrs organizing the UN+ all this stuff!!!)
Click to expand...

I don't really have anything more to say beyond this: I agree that you did something awesome for your girlfriend. In recognition of that, I hope that she continues to see you. You clearly care for her very deeply, and if you continue to support her in the way that you did when you took so much time out of your schedule to help her with her coursework, I can only imagine how crazy she would have to be to cut you out of her life.
 
tantacles said:
I don't really have anything more to say beyond this: I agree that you did something awesome for your girlfriend. In recognition of that, I hope that she continues to see you. You clearly care for her very deeply, and if you continue to support her in the way that you did when you took so much time out of your schedule to help her with her coursework, I can only imagine how crazy she would have to be to cut you out of her life.
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I appreciate it =] And yes, we're very happy together. She does tons for me as well!

thanks for your help =]
 
If the OP has half a brain, no adcom in the country will find out that it was his girlfriend.

It's all about framing the issue in a favorable light. Don't deny your application any advantages, no matter how small.
 
tantacles said:
Just to reiterate, I understand and we agree that you sacrificed your time to tutor your girlfriend. But true altruism is giving without expecting anything in return, and it's hard for me to believe, though not impossible to make a case for, that when tutoring a significant other, you have nothing to gain.
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Nothing any pre-med student does is altruistic. If it goes on your AMCAS or PS, then by definition, that activity was not altruistic.
 
notbobtrustme said:
If the OP has half a brain, no adcom in the country will find out that it was his girlfriend.

It's all about framing the issue in a favorable light. Don't deny your application any advantages, no matter how small.
Click to expand...

haha, my worry is that of things such as Facebook or something that will show that, "Hey, this dude is in a relationship with the girl he tutored!"
 
notbobtrustme said:
Nothing any pre-med student does is altruistic. If it goes on your AMCAS or PS, then by definition, that activity was not altruistic.
Click to expand...

You'd agree, though, that some types of activities, circumstances included, are more altruistic than others, right? Because the premise at issue here seems less to be "was the OP acting in an altruistic way when he did these things?" than "Is this experience altruistic enough that it merits inclusion in this kind of application?"
 
Meh I feel most people do activities because they can be placed in a medical school app. I wonder how many people would be doing EC's if med schools did not require nor give credit for them. Not very many.
 
Go ahead and list it. I just doubt adcoms are going to care all that much. If you need filler, go for it.
 
nabilesmail said:
Meh I feel most people do activities because they can be placed in a medical school app. I wonder how many people would be doing EC's if med schools did not require nor give credit for them. Not very many.
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I think the number of current med students still pursuing extracurriculars would prove you wrong.
 
nabilesmail said:
Meh I feel most people do activities because they can be placed in a medical school app. I wonder how many people would be doing EC's if med schools did not require nor give credit for them. Not very many.
Click to expand...

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YY6wwAhvirY[/YOUTUBE]
 
tiedyeddog said:
You do whatever, but all of the things above are great. Listing peer tutoring is just filler, and you're not going to be able to explain it in interviews without lying. You're making the great things look cheap....
Click to expand...

this. Do not try to pad your application with filler. Adcoms can see filler a mile away. And when they see one thing as filler, it makes them wonder if a lot of other things are filler as well. Tutoring that is not done through an established organization is one such suspect. Anyone can list tutoring, because it's vague in definition and difficult to prove. So it doesn't really help your application, and can actually hurt it if it looks like you are trying to puff up a section of the application.

Most adcoms would prefer to see a shorter application filled with actual accomplishments rather than a fuller one filled with things like tutoring.
 
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