How Much Are They Saving With This?

[docB]

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I imagine the leaders of the hospital industry appearing before Congress and saying “We know that the costs of healthcare are eclipsing GDP and that the current system is becoming unsustainable but we have a plan to fix this problem. Right now we have top scientists and engineers around the globe working on new and innovative ways to restrict the use of toilet paper by our staff. It is our belief that we can save healthcare by making it hard for doctors and nurses to wipe their asses.”

I mean seriously, how much do they think they’re gonna save by installing these stupid TP dispensers that limit you to one square at a time? And the effort they devote to this is nuts. Every three months facilities is in there installing new ever more fiendish dispensers all the while laughing maniacally saying “You might as well just use your hands now you sorry bastards! Mwuhahahahaaa!”

I’m this close to taking care of the problem by dragging my ass around the main nursing station doggy style. I may actually just start bringing my own Charmin. That’ll be interesting when ever I get dragged into a patient room on my way to the bathroom. Now I’ll be holding a roll of TP which will give additional credence to my usual impatient demeanor.

 

[GeneralVeers]

I imagine the leaders of the hospital industry appearing before Congress and saying “We know that the costs of healthcare are eclipsing GDP and that the current system is becoming unsustainable but we have a plan to fix this problem. Right now we have top scientists and engineers around the globe working on new and innovative ways to restrict the use of toilet paper by our staff. It is our belief that we can save healthcare by making it hard for doctors and nurses to wipe their asses.”

I mean seriously, how much do they think they’re gonna save by installing these stupid TP dispensers that limit you to one square at a time? And the effort they devote to this is nuts. Every three months facilities is in there installing new ever more fiendish dispensers all the while laughing maniacally saying “You might as well just use your hands now you sorry bastards! Mwuhahahahaaa!”

I’m this close to taking care of the problem by dragging my ass around the main nursing station doggy style. I may actually just start bringing my own Charmin. That’ll be interesting when ever I get dragged into a patient room on my way to the bathroom. Now I’ll be holding a roll of TP which will give additional credence to my usual impatient demeanor.

It's either that, or cut out food from the doctor's lounges.....

 

[southerndoc]

Are you serious? One square at a time? Half the TP in public restrooms is so thin you have to double up.

 

[Tiger26]

Jane: I don't have a square to spare. I can't spare a square.
Elaine: How about a ply? I'll take a ply.
Jane: Look, I don't have a square and I don't have a ply.
The Stall

Elaine: No, I don't have a square to spare. I can't spare a square.
Jane: Wait a minute, I know you...
Elaine: That's right honey, and I know you!
The Stall

 

[ccfccp]

It's part of the new congress "Cap and Trade" legislation. It's supposed to make you "reduce your carbon footprint" by holding it in. 🙂 Oh... and it saves trees too, and that's good... isn't it?

 

[GeneralVeers]

It's part of the new congress "Cap and Trade" legislation. It's supposed to make you "reduce your carbon footprint" by holding it in. 🙂 Oh... and it saves trees too, and that's good... isn't it?

If you do that, then we all have to crap out our mouths....

 

[Midwest Medic]

Actually it looks like Sheryl Crow beat you to this back in 2007. Here is the link: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,267783,00.html

 

[deleted109597]

Sheryl Crow is a nutbag. I eat plenty of fiber, and I've never had a situation where 2-3 squares would work.
Or maybe I'm doing it wrong?

 

[deleted65604]

Once in a while, I have one of those craps where you fill the toilet with dozens of little turds that look like Milk Duds. That is actually my favorite kind of duke, because a couple squares does the trick.

 

[pseudoknot]

Actually it looks like Sheryl Crow beat you to this back in 2007. Here is the link: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,267783,00.html

It's people like that who give crazy tree-hugging liberals a bad name.

The paper towel dispensers are beyond Orwellian, in my opinion. I hope there will be an eventual backlash.

 

[Jeff698]

Sheryl Crow is a nutbag. I eat plenty of fiber, and I've never had a situation where 2-3 squares would work.
Or maybe I'm doing it wrong?

It does when your anorexic.

BTW, it was apparently a joke (http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/GlobalWarming/story?id=3071833&page=1). Or not. Either way, I'm with Rosie... "Have you SEEN by butt?" One square? Seriously?

Take care,
Jeff