How to decide whether to get out?

[kva]

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Hey guys,

I'm almost 3 months into med school, and I really do not like it. I was not expecting so much memorization, I'm having a very difficult time focusing and studying, and I just don't know if I want this enough -- the doctors that I see around school are NOT the kind of doctor that I would like to be. I know that I do not want to work in a hospital setting.

I always saw myself as a family doctor in a clinical setting -- and, to be honest, probably not in the US, but in a low-resource country.

I've spent some time working in health and development abroad, and came back to the US thinking that studying medicine in the US was the best thing that I could do for the people I work with/for in resource-poor settings. But again, I wasn't expecting to hate it so much.

I know that 3rd year is supposed to be completely different and much better, but I feel like if I get yelled at or challenged in any way, I'll just drop out... I honestly just don't want it enough to be able to put up with it.

I try to keep up interests outside of med school, but I just end up stretching everything out because I don't want to go study (ie. spend 3 hours in the gym or spend all day reading). I'm doing okay grade-wise, but my grades haven't been great (probably third quartile or something). Now things are getting harder, and I'm afraid that I'll have a hard time passing due to my lack of focus...

Any advice?? I should probably talk to an adviser at my school as well -- but I am a major crier, and I'm afraid that if I talk to an adviser, I'll just start crying!

 

[AlexMorph]

go talk to someone. if you start crying, so what? that's just your way of expressing your frustration. don't lose sight of why you wanted to do this in the first place. don't think that you are alone in feeling like this. get some help ASAP!

 

[Bartelby]

I hated the first semester of first year and, like you, thought about dropping out. Going into the spring semester, though, I stopped being as miserable as we entered into a new set of classes. Now that I am in my second year I am actually having some fun with what I am learning. It is still not as fun as college and there are plenty of times where I am just tired of talking/thinking about medicine so much, but it is orders of magnitude better than last year.

For me the more I know the less I have to memorize. Things start making some kind of "sense" as more of the picture comes together, which can make it much more enjoyable. I recommend staying with it for a while and seeing if a similar change happens for you.

I should caution you that I seem to be the exception-- the vast majority of people I have talked to (all but a couple) thought last year was much easier/better than this year (second year). In the end, though, the best thing you can do is make friends, get involved in outside activities, and address any depression that is starting to fester.

 

[Tristy]

I think we all loathe first semester/year, I hated it with the last drop of blood that I had. Well, anatomy was the worst by far for me. Then the other classes made at least more sense than just rabid memorization, there was memor. but it made sense!

Have you tried to talk to a counselor/psychologist/shrink? I think that should be a must. You could be talking out of depression, who knows! I don't know you so all I can do is tell you my opinion. If you have clinical depression then that's "fixable", and you will eventually see things differently. No, I'm not sayings things will be rosy all of a sudden, but your perspective changes, and the way you approach problems changes too. Who cares if you cry? Crying is good 😛 Cry all you have to and get it out of your system. Think about it, if it is CD there's tons of meds out there, different treatment modalities, holistic medicine, exercise, hobbies, sex you have all the tools to improve the way you see your life, and maybe, just maybe, you will think differently.

Now, after talking to the shrink and making sure it's not depression or another psych Dx, then, you have to do some soul searching, as cliche as it may sound. Can you picture yourself doing something else? Even in the medical field you can do so many things that are closely related (be a PA, RNP, etc) that may match what your goals in life are and maybe (people, don't flame me) with a bit less stress?

But hurry because those loans accumulate FAST and next thing you know is that you have to finish what you started so you can pay all that cr@pload of money back.

And no, it doesn't get easier, you just actually get better at juggling all the cr@p they throw at you. I have yet to begin 3rd year and I am NOT looking forward to it, it scares me but oh well, been there, done that (different country, different method). Sure, 4th year is a "vacation" but you have then to apply for residency, going for interviews, yadayadayada, then, comes intern year from hell, then residency, fellowship, etc, etc, etc.

I guess in retrospective I do miss 1st year...So no, personally, and please consider I am not advanced in my career by any means, it gets worse with each year that goes by. But for the life of me I can't see myself doing anything else and I actually think that I might be a good doctor and I can help in my own way and make a difference (I'm talking about a bunch of *****ic doctors with God complex that even have the nerve to talk **** about you to your face, or those that could give a cr@p less about you and your problems -so yes, I want to be different and I pray that I don't become too jaded in the process 😳)

Be strong, seek help (I did and I'm glad, was glad, but that's another story), and look inside, write your thoughts, talk to others, and don't let anybody convince you that you should stay or that you should go. That's your decision. Do what you think will make you happy, but do it with a clear head and after exhausting the possibility of depression or things like that.

Best of luck to you 😍

PS: you could also take a leave of absence instead of closing the door completely...just a thought.

Again, hugs and GL!

 

[mark467s]

Its you the best judge to decide your future career.Concentrate on whatever you are doing.Nothing is impossible only the thing pay attention.

 

[J ROD]

I think everyone doubts themselves at times...there is also a shock and awe when beginning something so hard....I would give it more time and allow myself to be accustomed to it..

See someone too like a psychologist to work it out!!!

 

[njbmd]

Before you "throw in the towel", give yourself more than 3 months to adjust. Essentially, first and second year are like undergraduate study on "steroids". You already answered your question in that you need to speak with someone (preferably your Dean of Students) but any trusted faculty counselor would do.

The next thing you need to do is try to set aside some time outside of school for something that doesn't involve medicine. This can be 30 minutes of physical activity (pickup basketball, swimming, brisk walk in the park) so that you can decompress. You will find that you and your studies will be less stressful and more efficient.

Finally, if you are totally miserable, find out your options if you just elect to leave. In some cases, you can't just leave and then decide to come back. Make sure that you don't "burn any bridges behind you" but take a leave of absence (LOA) and think about what you actually want to do. With an LOA, you would likely be able to return once you had time to think things through.

Thanksgiving is coming up and thus, you may have a few days away from the grind of school to do some thinking and considering about your future. If you can make it through to December, you can have the holidays to consider your state of mind.

At any rate, speak to someone and be honest with them about your feelings about your situation. Weigh your options and do what is best for you. You are an adult and thus, you can make your own decisions about what is best but be totally informed as to your options.

 

[gman33]

Hey guys,

I know that 3rd year is supposed to be completely different and much better, but I feel like if I get yelled at or challenged in any way, I'll just drop out... I honestly just don't want it enough to be able to put up with it.

First year is a big adjustment for many people, but if you really don't want it that much, get out now.

I'd give yourself at least the semester and maybe a whole year to figure out what you really think. Try to remember the reason you did this in the first place. For many, years 1-2 and maybe even all of med school kind of suck. I came pretty close to dropping out a few times. Eventually I just realized, I didn't like school and my feeling about that probably wasn't going to change. I still wanted to be a doc and there is no other way to get there. There are still some bad times, but I learned to deal with it a little better.

Talk to an advisor, counsler or whoever is available to you.

Look at the big picture. School will pass in a few years and you will still have your whole life ahead of you.

 

[TexasPhysician]

Hey guys,

I'm almost 3 months into med school, and I really do not like it. I was not expecting so much memorization, I'm having a very difficult time focusing and studying, and I just don't know if I want this enough -- the doctors that I see around school are NOT the kind of doctor that I would like to be. I know that I do not want to work in a hospital setting.

I always saw myself as a family doctor in a clinical setting -- and, to be honest, probably not in the US, but in a low-resource country.

I've spent some time working in health and development abroad, and came back to the US thinking that studying medicine in the US was the best thing that I could do for the people I work with/for in resource-poor settings. But again, I wasn't expecting to hate it so much.

I'm afraid that I'll have a hard time passing due to my lack of focus...

Any advice??

I think you need to look at your life goals. You want to benefit resource-poor areas medically, but it seems from above that you don't want to work for it.

You didn't expect med school to be a lot of memorizaiton? What did you expect? There are thousands of diseases, and as a family doctor you should know at least a little about a lot of them. The deeper you get into medical school, the more you realize how important those first two years were to giving you background into this mass of diseases. Knowing the basics will make everything else sooooo much easier in the long run.

I'm not trying to be mean, but your post makes me think either:
1.) You don't really care about your goals
2.) You didn't think medical school through at all
3.) You have recently found other goals

What is holding you back from caring about this?

Nothing easy is worth doing in my opinion. If your goals actually do matter a lot to you, I would think you could find it in yourself to study more no matter what crazyness med school throws at you. Have I been yelled at a few times along the way? - Sure. Do I care - No. Those physicians are trying to make me the best doctor possible. I ignore their tone, and try to do better at whatever I seem to be lacking.

A lot of time med school isn't fun. Everyone else I knew from high school/college is making money, partying, etc. The thing that keeps me going is my future goals. If your goals are strong, use them to push you through.

In summary: Either rethink your goals or start to find a way to use your goals to make you stronger.

 

[Non-TradTulsa]

I must admit that, while I think the last poster before me was trying to be helpful, I found it so harsh as to not be constructive.

Listen to the all the posters who had a crisis in the first semester of first year - and survived. I went so far as to call my school and tell them I was quitting - fortunately, I hadn't signed any paperwork and I crawled back exam week and asked if I could take all my exams.

Medical school is not an easy adventure - but it is very rewarding. First year is not all that much fun, but first semester - and all the adjustments you have to make, just sucks. Period.

You've already paid your tuition for the first semester. My advice - very strongly - try to keep your head down and finish the semester. When some of the pressure is off of you over Christmas break, then look at your goals and priorities and decide whether or not med school is for you.

If I hadn't come back to med school after "bailing" for a few days (which did clear my head), I would have made the biggest mistake of my life. You worked so hard to get your seat - trust me, stick it out until Christmas.