How to handle uncomfortable interview questions?

[heyyouyouyou]

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A very, very old dean at a Top-10 medical school asked me the following questions:


Do you plan to have children soon? How will you support your family?

Did you go to school X because of financial reasons?


There is no way that you could ask questions like that in the real-world, as you'd be setting yourself up for a potential lawsuit.

I answered each question truthfully, but in retrospect, I wish I would have avoided each. No matter who the interview was, it was none of his/her business, right?

 

[saveourpens]

at least in terms of your marital status, number of kids you have.... it's illegal for employers to ask for that info

 

[TreeOfSouls]

I can understand the interviewer wondering about those things... but, I can't really understand them asking about them so directly. It seems inappropriate. I guess the best way to answer them is to think about what the interviewer is really getting at (assuming the "best" motivation):

1) Do you plan to have children soon?

Possible motivation: Will you finish medical in a reasonable time frame if you're admitted? Will you be able to handle medical school AND having a baby/small child at the same time?

Possible response: My priority right now is medical school. I'm aware of the commitment medical school requires and I'm confident that I'll be able to succeed.

2) How will you support yourself?

Possible motivation: Will you be able to afford medical school? If we admit you, will you really be able to accept? Have you thought about your debt and how you'd pay it after you graduate?

Possible response: Medical school is expensive, but I'm investing in my future. I think it's a great investment and I hope __x school__ will, too!

3) Did you go to school X because of financial reasons?

Possible motivation: same as above- can you afford medical school, will you be able to live reasonably while in school so that you don't end up suffering/being miserable and overly stressed, possibly dropping out?

Possible response: If you went there for financial reasons- then: Yes, I went to school X for financial reasons. I realized that medical school would be expensive and I didn't want to take on a lot of undergraduate debt knowing that I might need to take on medical school debt. I chose to prioritize medical school. Or, if you didn't- No, I chose school x because _____ (something that relates to medical school in the future).

When someone asks uncomfortable questions, it helps to try to figure out what they are actually concerned about... and just address that, maybe not even answering the specific question directly- but rather answer the underlying concern instead.

 

[ArkansasRanger]

A dean at a Top-10 medical school asked me the following questions:


Do you plan to have children soon? How will you support yourself?

Did you go to school X because of financial reasons?


There is no way that you could ask questions like that in the real-world, as you'd be setting yourself up for a potential lawsuit.

I answered each question truthfully, but in retrospect, I wish I would have avoided each. No matter who the interview was, it was none of his/her business, right?

Take a digital recorder to all of your interviews.

 

[heyyouyouyou]

Has anyone else experienced interview questions like this?

I'd be curious to hear where you heard them (send me a private message) & how you answered them...

 

[ArkansasRanger]

Has anyone else experienced interview questions like this?

I'd be curious to hear where you heard them (send me a private message) & how you answered them...

Well, I've hired some people and been involved on panel interviews to hire people, and I (we) wouldn't ask that stuff.

 

[TreeOfSouls]

I'm pretty sure that, while that might eliminate the inappropriate questions, it would also eliminate your chances of being accepted to that school. I think it would look PRETTY PARANOID to bring a digital recorder to your interview. And, anything you record without them knowing couldn't be used for a legal action, anyway. Besides that, what would be the ultimate goal? If they asked you some inappropriate question and you didn't get in, then you'd whip out the recording and blackmail them? Sue them for the right to be admitted? Can you imagine getting into medical school that way... well, you see, I sued the school and so of course they admitted me. Something doesn't seem very realistic about all that. So, I'd probably not go with the digital recorder idea!

Take a digital recorder to all of your interviews.

 

[ArkansasRanger]

I'm pretty sure that, while that might eliminate the inappropriate questions, it would also eliminate your chances of being accepted to that school. I think it would look PRETTY PARANOID to bring a digital recorder to your interview. And, anything you record without them knowing couldn't be used for a legal action, anyway. Besides that, what would be the ultimate goal? If they asked you some inappropriate question and you didn't get in, then you'd whip out the recording and blackmail them? Sue them for the right to be admitted? Can you imagine getting into medical school that way... well, you see, I sued the school and so of course they admitted me. Something doesn't seem very realistic about all that. So, I'd probably not go with the digital recorder idea!

Ummm.....you don't tell anybody about it. You don't have to as long as one party (you) is involved in the recorded conversation, you could damn well use any of it for legal action.

Could you sue for the right to be admitted? No, but after not getting in anywhere you could go the American way and sue. You'd particularly have a better chance of successfully doing so at a private institution.

 

[cbear]

1) Do you plan to have children soon?

Possible motivation: Will you finish medical in a reasonable time frame if you're admitted? Will you be able to handle medical school AND having a baby/small child at the same time?

Possible response: My priority right now is medical school. I'm aware of the commitment medical school requires and I'm confident that I'll be able to succeed.

2) How will you support yourself?

Possible motivation: Will you be able to afford medical school? If we admit you, will you really be able to accept? Have you thought about your debt and how you'd pay it after you graduate?

Possible response: Medical school is expensive, but I'm investing in my future. I think it's a great investment and I hope __x school__ will, too!

3) Did you go to school X because of financial reasons?

Possible motivation: same as above- can you afford medical school, will you be able to live reasonably while in school so that you don't end up suffering/being miserable and overly stressed, possibly dropping out?

Possible response: If you went there for financial reasons- then: Yes, I went to school X for financial reasons. I realized that medical school would be expensive and I didn't want to take on a lot of undergraduate debt knowing that I might need to take on medical school debt. I chose to prioritize medical school. Or, if you didn't- No, I chose school x because _____ (something that relates to medical school in the future).

When someone asks uncomfortable questions, it helps to try to figure out what they are actually concerned about... and just address that, maybe not even answering the specific question directly- but rather answer the underlying concern instead.

Yea, to me it doesn't even really seem like these questions are that personal. For the kids one, I think another good answer would just be to be honest. If you aren't, say you aren't. And if it is a distinct possibility, talk about just having to find an appropriate work-life balance, being an adult and compartmentalizing your life, carefully planning your finances with your SO blah blah. That kind of response also shows maturity, and realistically there will probably be more than a few people in your class who either already have kids, or who birth kids during those 4 years. I mean, if you eventually want kids, you are always going to be busy as a doctor, so at some point you'll have to suck it up.

Talking about education as an investment is the best answer to the other Q's, IMHO.

 

[SusGob711]

Just out of curiosity...what are the other "illegal" questions they aren't supposed to ask? I know they aren't supposed to ask about children or marital status but are there any others?

 

[shiftingmirage]

Ummm.....you don't tell anybody about it. You don't have to as long as one party (you) is involved in the recorded conversation, you could damn well use any of it for legal action.

That's not necessarily true everywhere. There are states that have laws stating that to record a conversation, both parties must consent or it is illegal/not admissible in court.

IMHO - They were just making small talk. Some people are better at that then others. I think the questions could have been asked better, ie, why did you go to school X instead of automatically assuming it was due to financial reasons, but I view that as the interviewer seeing your primary, and thinking you were capable of attending a higher caliber institution. As for the kid thing - maybe the interviewer just had a recent addition to the family. I knew someone who after she had her kid, she would just go on, and on, and on about her kid. Maybe your interviewer is the same way.

I would look at the whole thing like this: maybe the interviewer isn't the most socially capable, and was tired of hearing about being president of the pre-med club, so they decided to switch it up. The whole process is so subjective that to people with similar stats, experiences, one gets in, the other doesn't (with 40k apps a year, I'm going to take a leap and say sometime somewhere a school sees two apps that are really similar, person A gets in, person B doesn't...for whatever reason). That's just the way it is.

 

[DrArete]

.

 

[LRAccord624]

I was asked these questions in probably 5/7 interviews, with the exception of the financial question- which was asked, just not so directly. While these questions might be uncomfortable, I don't think they are "off limits". It's important to adcoms that you are responsible and you have reasonable plans for the future.

 

[DrArete]

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[heyyouyouyou]

interesting...
[FONT=arial, helvetica, sans-serif][FONT=arial, helvetica][SIZE=-1]
however, there's no reference to any specific law....

http://www.quintcareers.com/sticky_job_interview_situations.html


[/SIZE]..[FONT=arial, helvetica, sans-serif][FONT=arial, helvetica][SIZE=-1]Illegal Questions: It's illegal to ask about age, marital status, children, childcare arrangements, and the like, but employers still do -- or come up with subtle ways to ask, such as by inquiring about when you graduated from high school/college. It's best to address the concern behind the question rather than the question itself by saying something like: "There is nothing about my personal status that would get in the way of my doing a great job for your company." While it may also be tempting to point out the illegality of the question, doing so likely won't endear you to the interviewer.


[/SIZE]..

 

[heyyouyouyou]

The biggest mistake people make in interviews is assuming that truth and candor are your best options.

Your goal is to get in.

Tell them what they want to hear.

sad but true... i wish that i was a better people-reader.

 

[surftheiop]

Did you mention anything relating to those questions in your application/personal statements?

Obviously their are some "rogue" interviewers out there, but most of them are smart enough not to bring something like this out of the blue. But if you mentioned anything even somewhat related in your application, then I think the questions are probably to be expected. I would say just answer them truthfully but very concisely and steer the conversation somewhere else

 

[heyyouyouyou]

Did you mention anything relating to those questions in your application/personal statements?

Obviously their are some "rogue" interviewers out there, but most of them are smart enough not to bring something like this out of the blue. But if you mentioned anything even somewhat related in your application, then I think the questions are probably to be expected. I would say just answer them truthfully but very concisely and steer the conversation somewhere else

no, i didn't mention anything like that...

its weird, because the first 3 or 4 questions were all 'inappropriate'...

it was definitely the worst interview that i've ever had, both scholarly and professionally...

my only assumption is that the interviewer was trying to throw me off track & to see how i would repond. if so, it was a very crude tactic. but the interviewer was like 90 years old, so maybe age was a factor (unless he/she can be an 'immature' 90 year old)...

 

[armybound]

You can tell them you're not comfortable discussing something or that you don't feel it's appropriate for the discussion.

I've heard that legally an interviewer can't ask a woman when she plans on having kids.

 

[heyyouyouyou]

hmmm.....

perhaps, a class-action lawsuit is required?

 

[heyyouyouyou]

anyone had any uncomfortable interview questions this year?

 

[cfx]

anyone had any uncomfortable interview questions this year?

Nothing too awful. Only stuff along the lines of "Do you have an interview at School X? Would you choose us over of them? Why?".

I know that your OP was awhile back, but what made you so uncomfortable with those particular questions? They are a bit more personal than standard interview topics, but they don't seem that out of line or touchy to me, like "tell me your thoughts on abortion".

 

[Ponger]

There is no way that you could ask questions like that in the real-world, as you'd be setting yourself up for a potential lawsuit.

I answered each question truthfully, but in retrospect, I wish I would have avoided each. No matter who the interview was, it was none of his/her business, right?

As stated before, those questions are more testing your maturity than actually getting answers for those questions.

They're basically asking do you understand all the responsibilities and limitations that a career in medicine has. Example: I was studying in the library yesterday with two friends that are older, married and were studying for their pediatric board exams. They have two kids, and the wife straight up looked at me and said 'don't have kids until you're done with residency'.

While I'm sure she doesn't regret her kids, that situation of a full-time job, 2 kids, and are trying to study board exams highlights the complications that can arise with having both a family and full-time medical career.

Tangent aside, them asking you a difficult/awkward/uncomfortable question is also a good way to test your coping skills. Clamming up/getting defensive are warning signs that you can't handle stressful situations. if you couldn't handle a simple question on your family life then how would you handle a patient coding on the table in front of you, am I right?