I am terrified to be an attending

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unchartedem

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So I finish up my residency residency in June. I have a community job set up for me in August. I'm really unsure of what's going to happen. It's a Level 2 single coverage. There's many things that I'm worried about. I feel that it's alot of pressure being the only person there to do something. I mean what happens if there's an airway issue. There's likely not going to be any anesthesia overnight. If I can't do it then I can't do and there's no one else but me. What if there's a line access issue. I mean I try the sono, I try the EJ, I go central, I try everything and nothing works. I mean that's pretty unlikely but then again things can go wrong and I'm the only person. I also don't like the idea of not knowing the different culture in the community as far as what is reasonable to consult and what isn't. I feel that there's going to be some laughable things to conult on overnight in a community hospital that would be completely reasonable in an academic setting. Those things which I do not know. I also don't want to be secretly laughed at during sign outs about any decisions I make and my plans for patients. I know I could have easily chosen a job with double coverage so that I could bounce some things off of people and that I could have chosen an academic setting but I did choose community for reasons that I felt I would be happy with and I still think if I could do it again I would still choose community. Is it normal to feel this way? Is this expected. Is there something I should do to prepare myself.

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I almost vomited on my way into my first shift as an attending. The shift went fine.

Remember that you're better prepared to run an ED than most of the FP's/Internists/etc out there staffing single coverage rural EDs without back up.

And don't be afraid to bring something like the Tintinalli pocket book with you to work. There is no shame in looking something up (especially if noone sees you do it 😉).

Lastly, your PD shouldn't be letting you graduate if you're not ready, so you probably are.
 
I was terrified before my shifts during my first month....I read furiously and packed my car full of books and resources just in case I would need them...

Take a deep breath when you start to get overwhelmed, and remember you can call and ask others for help / advice (I called the pediatric emergency physician at my residency for advice during the shift and they were great about helping out). If the patient is too critical for your place and your team just ship em out....Things will go fine with the transition and truly most people are scared / nervous / intimidated, etc.
 
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One other thought. Pepidonline.com I have found this as an amazing resource. There are reasons to be scared but you are ready.

Personally, I found moonlighting to be the perfect transition.

Also, FWIW I have no personal or financial relationship with pepid. I just think it is a kick ass resource. I use that, the EMRA Antibiotic, and epocrates frequently. No shame. I would rather double check than make a mistake cause my pride got in the way.
 
It's normal. You'll think every one you send home is going to die, for a while (and they won't). After a while that'll go away and you'll be fine. Normal.
 
We've all been there. My first 1 to 2 years as an attending were the hardest of my life. That said almost everyone gets through it. Here are a few tips:

-You are right to be intimidated about the culture and the logistics. That part is way more disorienting than the medicine. Try to corral your director and ask about who admits what, what consultants you have and don't have, where to transfer when you don't have a specialist and so on. Take notes and carry the notes with you.

A few more logistic things to know before you're on your own:

Do you go to in house codes or intubations? What happens if a code gets called upstairs while you're doing a code in the ED?

What do you do when consultants start to fight? For example a pregnant patient with an appy. Is that an OB admit with Surg consult or vice versa? What happens when someone refuses a consult or an admission?

Do you lose capabilities at night or on weekends? Do you have an ultrasound tech at 2am or can you get an MRI on a Saturday?

-Know that you are well trained. That stuff we tell the med students about how every program will give you good training is actually true. Airway and vascular access disasters will happen. If you have to cric then cric. We all have to every now and then. Know if you have IO in the ED. In a pinch you can place the IO, give a few liters and then try the central again. Or admit the patient with the IO, they're good for 48 hours in a pinch.

-Don't worry about your colleagues laughing at you maliciously. We do chuckle about some of the things our younger colleagues do but those are mainly logistical things. The truth is that we are to some degree intimidated by your recent state of the art training and we second guess ourselves when you do it differently than we have been doing it.

-Many groups have more than one hospital. That means there's a colleague out there you can call to ask questions even at 2 am. Most academic attendings are also cool if you call them up to bounce something off them.

-The nurses, admitting clerks and secretaries can really help you out too. For example the secretaries probably know more about who admits what than anyone. The nurses know how all the other docs deal with whatever situation you're facing.

-Hang around after your shift and chat with the next doc about how he would have dealt with some of the stuff that came up. That way you can learn some of the easier paths of least resistance in your shop.

-Try to courtesy call primary docs when you see their patients. It introduces you to them in an easy, non stress way when you say "Hi. I'm one of the new docs here in the ED. I saw your patient Mr. X. He looks fine so I'm going to send him home and have him follow up with you." That way they know who you are when the tougher conversations about admitting difficult patients happen. Once you know everyone you can quit doing this. And don't do it at 2am. It works the opposite way then😉.

-Grab one of the nurses and ask how they stock common drugs. For example most hospitals stock MS in either 5 or 10mg vials or 4 mg tubex syringes. If you are used to tubexes and order every MS dose in 4 or 8 but you new place uses vials it will create a lot of extra work for the nurses. They will probably tell you pretty quick anyway but if you can preempt the issue altogether that's good. Check out your top 10 drugs. What PPI do they stock. If you order Prevacid and all they have is Protonix it'll slow you down.
 
One other thought. Pepidonline.com I have found this as an amazing resource. There are reasons to be scared but you are ready.

Personally, I found moonlighting to be the perfect transition.

Also, FWIW I have no personal or financial relationship with pepid. I just think it is a kick ass resource. I use that, the EMRA Antibiotic, and epocrates frequently. No shame. I would rather double check than make a mistake cause my pride got in the way.

Entirely agree about PEPID. It costs a lot but the peace of mind of having it on my iPhone is invaluable and I do reference it multiple times per shift... I agree about the EMRA antibiotic guide which also comes on the iPhone.
 
We've all been there. My first 1 to 2 years as an attending were the hardest of my life. That said almost everyone gets through it. Here are a few tips:

-You are right to be intimidated about the culture and the logistics. That part is way more disorienting than the medicine. Try to corral your director and ask about who admits what, what consultants you have and don't have, where to transfer when you don't have a specialist and so on. Take notes and carry the notes with you.

A few more logistic things to know before you're on your own:

Do you go to in house codes or intubations? What happens if a code gets called upstairs while you're doing a code in the ED?

What do you do when consultants start to fight? For example a pregnant patient with an appy. Is that an OB admit with Surg consult or vice versa? What happens when someone refuses a consult or an admission?

Do you lose capabilities at night or on weekends? Do you have an ultrasound tech at 2am or can you get an MRI on a Saturday?

-Know that you are well trained. That stuff we tell the med students about how every program will give you good training is actually true. Airway and vascular access disasters will happen. If you have to cric then cric. We all have to every now and then. Know if you have IO in the ED. In a pinch you can place the IO, give a few liters and then try the central again. Or admit the patient with the IO, they're good for 48 hours in a pinch.

-Don't worry about your colleagues laughing at you maliciously. We do chuckle about some of the things our younger colleagues do but those are mainly logistical things. The truth is that we are to some degree intimidated by your recent state of the art training and we second guess ourselves when you do it differently than we have been doing it.

-Many groups have more than one hospital. That means there's a colleague out there you can call to ask questions even at 2 am. Most academic attendings are also cool if you call them up to bounce something off them.

-The nurses, admitting clerks and secretaries can really help you out too. For example the secretaries probably know more about who admits what than anyone. The nurses know how all the other docs deal with whatever situation you're facing.

-Hang around after your shift and chat with the next doc about how he would have dealt with some of the stuff that came up. That way you can learn some of the easier paths of least resistance in your shop.

-Try to courtesy call primary docs when you see their patients. It introduces you to them in an easy, non stress way when you say "Hi. I'm one of the new docs here in the ED. I saw your patient Mr. X. He looks fine so I'm going to send him home and have him follow up with you." That way they know who you are when the tougher conversations about admitting difficult patients happen. Once you know everyone you can quit doing this. And don't do it at 2am. It works the opposite way then😉.

-Grab one of the nurses and ask how they stock common drugs. For example most hospitals stock MS in either 5 or 10mg vials or 4 mg tubex syringes. If you are used to tubexes and order every MS dose in 4 or 8 but you new place uses vials it will create a lot of extra work for the nurses. They will probably tell you pretty quick anyway but if you can preempt the issue altogether that's good. Check out your top 10 drugs. What PPI do they stock. If you order Prevacid and all they have is Protonix it'll slow you down.

This is really great advice!

Thanks,
TL
 
I've been there with almost every big step of my life. I get a horrid reaction with palpitations and nausea when I have big stress days such as:

-first day of college
-first day of medical school
-first day of clinicals
-first day of residency
-first day as an attending

I find the best way is just positive thinking with a little help from atenolol and zofran.
 
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Not sure it if it's a consolation or not, but the stuff new attendings get dinged on isn't usually the critical, fixin' to die patient. It's admitting the patient to the wrong attending, angering patients who end up being family of administrators, and not communicating effectively/documenting said communication with consultants. You're best defense against these types of problems are going to be getting to know the voice on the other end of the phone. The first time you're talking to a new consultant, make sure you've got the story down cold (possibly take the time to have the chart in front of you). Being involved in a hospital committee, especially if it features traditionally difficult consultants can also be very useful. If people know and like you, a lot of the "being dragged into unpleasant meetings" become being stopped in the hallway and having a less punitive discussion.
 
As a point of discussion, not trying to start a flame war here, doesn't graduating from a program and being "terrified" of being an attending say something about the program?

Obviously there are resident factors as well but no one should finish and accredited EM program and feel terrified to single cover any ED in the country.

Again, not specifically criticising the OP, I'll have jitters as well.
 
There is something about dispoing the 1st patient without running it by someone. Perhaps the term terrified is a bit much but the overblown fear of being sued along with the concern of having screwed up leads to this i imagine.

I had the fortune to moonlight which was a happy medium. I worked on my own then went back and asked my attendings how they would have handled a specific situation. In the end we see so much badness that dcing someone wihtout a diagnosis is scary. The "what ifs" creep in.
 
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As a point of discussion, not trying to start a flame war here, doesn't graduating from a program and being "terrified" of being an attending say something about the program?

If you aren't scared of something every day, then you're not looking hard enough.
 
I am totally not afraid of jumping from residency to attending at a Level I trauma center supervising all levels of inexperienced residents and medical students.

Nosireebob.

It'll be just like moonlighting at my 7-bed rural ED.
 
As a point of discussion, not trying to start a flame war here, doesn't graduating from a program and being "terrified" of being an attending say something about the program?

Obviously there are resident factors as well but no one should finish and accredited EM program and feel terrified to single cover any ED in the country.

Again, not specifically criticising the OP, I'll have jitters as well.

I don't think so. Everyone should be at least a little nervous before they hit the ground. I came from a great residency and I was scared. I think it's much more a right of passage than a reflection on a person's program.
 
If you aren't scared of something every day, then you're not looking hard enough.

That is simply not true. If you come out of residency scared on every shift then your residency was inadequate.

One of the things residency should give you is the perspective to deal with the unknown and be as comfortable with it as possible.
 
Having a healthy fear of the pathology that can roll into an ED does not require that you be unprepared for it nor does it mean that you are inadequately trained. In fact, I'd argue that if you are well-trained you will know enough to realize that no matter how well-read or experienced you are, bad things will happen and they will happen in your ED.

I suspect it is the use of words connoting fear that bothers you about this thread. You see that as a weakness. Fine then, call it concern. Being "very concerned" about one's first shift as an attending is not just a normal response, it is an appropriate response.

I may know a lot about managing a crashing asthmatic, hypotensive PE, eclampsia, congenital heart disease, etc. They still scare me.
 
That is simply not true. If you come out of residency scared on every shift then your residency was inadequate.

One of the things residency should give you is the perspective to deal with the unknown and be as comfortable with it as possible.

Amory, do you feel like no matter what rolled through your ED you could do a GREAT job. A footling breech at 24 weeks?

I could tell you I delivered a TON of kids (mostly on OB) and if this came in and say the mom was hypotensive and bleeding and the baby was blue. I would be scared.

Ive been an attending for about 2 years now, moonlit quite a bit, was a chief and if the above case rolled in I would probably not feel like this was cake. I think thats the point they were trying to make. Did I or do I show up worried every shift? No. But I do know there are certain things im better at (airways, sepsis, lines, trauma etc) than others like unstable OB etc.

As mentioned above it comes from familiarity. I have taken care of some sick OB patients but not enough that I would say im comfortable with it.
 
That is simply not true. If you come out of residency scared on every shift then your residency was inadequate.

One of the things residency should give you is the perspective to deal with the unknown and be as comfortable with it as possible.

I bow to your greatness. Hopefully the residents I supervise in 2 months will be as good as you. I won't be scared then.


Or, I'll be more scared. You pick.
 
Amory, do you feel like no matter what rolled through your ED you could do a GREAT job. A footling breech at 24 weeks?

I could tell you I delivered a TON of kids (mostly on OB) and if this came in and say the mom was hypotensive and bleeding and the baby was blue. I would be scared.

Ive been an attending for about 2 years now, moonlit quite a bit, was a chief and if the above case rolled in I would probably not feel like this was cake. I think thats the point they were trying to make. Did I or do I show up worried every shift? No. But I do know there are certain things im better at (airways, sepsis, lines, trauma etc) than others like unstable OB etc.

As mentioned above it comes from familiarity. I have taken care of some sick OB patients but not enough that I would say im comfortable with it.

No but like we are talking about, there is a difference between having tough cases and being terrified.

I'm really not suggesting that I always know EXACTLY what to do, but I don't think anyone should be terrified when they are staffing an ED.
 
No but like we are talking about, there is a difference between having tough cases and being terrified.

I'm really not suggesting that I always know EXACTLY what to do, but I don't think anyone should be terrified when they are staffing an ED.

Being terrified about the thought of staffing an ED solo is quite different from being terrified while staffing an ED solo.
 
Maybe it is the choice of words of the OP. I never show up with my knees shaking worried about whats gonna come in the door. I now work all nights at 3 hospitals my group covers. One is staffed by 2 docs at a time, one with 1 doc and 1 PA all night and 1 true solo.

I havent been doing this too long as noted but im not terrified. After a tough case I often reflect on what if, what could I do differently etc.? I dont always make the perfect decision but im human and I try as hard as I can to never make the wrong decision. Perhaps this is what the OP was getting at.
 
A quick aside. I moonlit at 2 places one was a low volume rural ED. Didnt have a tough case there for months. Told my buddy about it and he signed on. His FIRST SHIFT a 34 yr old code arrest unknown cause. No matter how many people you have coded this is not ideal and should cause you some unrest.

Lastly my last shift there when I was thinking how lucky I was I had a super sick DKAer, and a guy with a huge PE and some glottic mass with SOB and some other critical patient. It was pretty interesting. Anyways at the main place I work we admit 30% or so of our peeps critical care is at 7% or so and we have specialty coverage. Because of this I am much more comfortable knowing I have access to OB, ICU, GI, ENT etc.
 
A quick aside. I moonlit at 2 places one was a low volume rural ED. Didnt have a tough case there for months. Told my buddy about it and he signed on. His FIRST SHIFT a 34 yr old code arrest unknown cause. No matter how many people you have coded this is not ideal and should cause you some unrest.

Lastly my last shift there when I was thinking how lucky I was I had a super sick DKAer, and a guy with a huge PE and some glottic mass with SOB and some other critical patient. It was pretty interesting. Anyways at the main place I work we admit 30% or so of our peeps critical care is at 7% or so and we have specialty coverage. Because of this I am much more comfortable knowing I have access to OB, ICU, GI, ENT etc.

Unrest =/= terror.

Again we are probably just having a debate about semantics here. Those are the times that ER docs shine. When everyone else would **** themselves.
 
I work in a large, high acuity ED. I was supposed to have 2 orientation/shadow shifts as an attending, but my second shift turned into my first attending shift on my own due to a call in sick. One of my first patients: Septic shock in DIC who needed a triple lumen. The other doc on my side of our ED (we have 2 sides, 2 docs each, plus a doc in triage, and a bunch of float PA's): my medical director. I was scared as hell. I was comfortable taking care of the patient, but I was scared as hell.

It's totally different when you're being supervised then when you're on your own and the decision making process is entirely your own, no matter what patient you have. The cocaine induced CP that you may have sent home in residency? What do you do now? It's very different when it's your own ass on the line.
 
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