I have no good friend in my class and I don't care. Is this bad?

[medstudent87]

I was as social as I could be for most of first year. I went out with my class, I attended most lectures, etc...but it seems like most cliques had already formed and I wasn't too crazy about the kids I hung out with. Then, I met my current bf and instead of going out with my class after exams, I just hang out with him.

I also have a roommate that is NOT a medical student. He's really chill and from the area, so I usually just hang out with him and his local friends whenever I want to go out.

I stopped attending lecture a while ago since I didn't get anything out from them, so now the only people from my class I see regularly are the ones in my "small group". We have a relationship more like colleagues than classmates though.

Thing is, I don't really care that I'm not great friends with anyone from my class. Is this bad? Is it going to be detrimental to me at some point? I was a fairly popular guy in both high school and college. I'd be the guy that would walk into a party and everyone would turn and yell my name (don't mean to sound arrogant). I haven't acted any differently in med school than I have in previous years, so I figure its simply a different breed of person that med schools attract. Come to think of it, I really wasn't friends with any other pre-meds. I never liked them. eh.

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[Isoprop]

As long as you're not a douche, I don't see how it will negatively affect you.

 

[islandCrazy]

Since you don't care then your good to go. I have no "good" friends either from my class and its cool with me.

 

[Omkar]

I have no good friends in my class either, and it's huge! I just don't jive with them. I have different interests (i.e. instead of drinking and partying, i just want to go home and sleep. hahaha. sleep is important to me). And I am interested in bettering myself, and reading and informing myself on mindfulness, on neuroscience, and how meditation and neuroscience are related. (This stuff is so damn cool!) So I just don't have much to talk about with others....w/e convos I have are very superficial, based on school work, but nothing that I am interested in.

But ya, it bothers me sometimes. I'm trying not to let it bother me, because frankly, none of these guys/gals are going to come to my assistance when needed; they're in it for themselves. So I guess I should just brush it off, and and keep on doing "my thang" lol.

So OP, as long as you're not worried about it, I'd say let it go, and be glad that you have someone to share your life with! I think I'd be able to bear with this nonsense if I had a companion who truly understands me, and with whom I can have deep philosophical convos. Maybe one day 🙂

 

[Yope]

Since I'm eventually going to be hiring/firing the clowns in my class, distance is necessary.

Adopt my approach.

 

[medstudent87]

Since I'm eventually going to be hiring/firing the clowns in my class, distance is necessary.

Adopt my approach.

lol

i like the way you think sir

 

[gracie369]

"I'd be the guy that would walk into a party and everyone would turn and yell my name"

I am going out with a girl this weekend and I will find a way to work that line in while wearing a super tight abercrombie shirt.

All in good fun.

 

[Guillemot]

I was as social as I could be for most of first year. I went out with my class, I attended most lectures, etc...but it seems like most cliques had already formed and I wasn't too crazy about the kids I hung out with.

I stopped attending lecture a while ago since I didn't get anything out from them, so now the only people from my class I see regularly are the ones in my "small group". We have a relationship more like colleagues than classmates though.

Thing is, I don't really care that I'm not great friends with anyone from my class. Is this bad? Is it going to be detrimental to me at some point? I was a fairly popular guy in both high school and college. I'd be the guy that would walk into a party and everyone would turn and yell my name (don't mean to sound arrogant). I haven't acted any differently in med school than I have in previous years, so I figure its simply a different breed of person that med schools attract. Come to think of it, I really wasn't friends with any other pre-meds. I never liked them. eh.

I deleted the parts of you story that differed significantly from my own and quoted the rest. 🙂

 

[IlDestriero]

 

[mindsg]

I was as social as I could be for most of first year. I went out with my class, I attended most lectures, etc...but it seems like most cliques had already formed and I wasn't too crazy about the kids I hung out with. Then, I met my current bf and instead of going out with my class after exams, I just hang out with him.

I also have a roommate that is NOT a medical student. He's really chill and from the area, so I usually just hang out with him and his local friends whenever I want to go out.

I stopped attending lecture a while ago since I didn't get anything out from them, so now the only people from my class I see regularly are the ones in my "small group". We have a relationship more like colleagues than classmates though.

Thing is, I don't really care that I'm not great friends with anyone from my class. Is this bad? Is it going to be detrimental to me at some point? I was a fairly popular guy in both high school and college. I'd be the guy that would walk into a party and everyone would turn and yell my name (don't mean to sound arrogant). I haven't acted any differently in med school than I have in previous years, so I figure its simply a different breed of person that med schools attract. Come to think of it, I really wasn't friends with any other pre-meds. I never liked them. eh.

.....did you let slip?

 

[herewego]

As long as you're not a douche, I don't see how it will negatively affect you.

Agreed.

I'm the same way. We all have very little free time, so what free time I have I try to spend with my gf.I did this especially early on in the year and I think that's what put the nail in the coffin.

Cliques have been formed at this point, and I don't go to class regularly, just required stuff. It was really bad at the beginning of the year now that I think about it. You know when people are waiting around for something, they kind of circle up and just talk. I was kind of the odd guy. Was a really weird experience for me, as I've always been pretty popular.

Luckily for me though, my class is pretty friendly/chill, so just through meeting people in labs/required stuff (I found this was the best way to get to know people) I always have someone to talk to, ask for questions, or even go out with if I wanted. No super close friends, but I'm happy with this situation.

 

[ACSurgeon]

I was as social as I could be for most of first year. I went out with my class, I attended most lectures, etc...but it seems like most cliques had already formed and I wasn't too crazy about the kids I hung out with. Then, I met my current bf and instead of going out with my class after exams, I just hang out with him.

I also have a roommate that is NOT a medical student. He's really chill and from the area, so I usually just hang out with him and his local friends whenever I want to go out.

I stopped attending lecture a while ago since I didn't get anything out from them, so now the only people from my class I see regularly are the ones in my "small group". We have a relationship more like colleagues than classmates though.

Thing is, I don't really care that I'm not great friends with anyone from my class. Is this bad? Is it going to be detrimental to me at some point? I was a fairly popular guy in both high school and college. I'd be the guy that would walk into a party and everyone would turn and yell my name (don't mean to sound arrogant). I haven't acted any differently in med school than I have in previous years, so I figure its simply a different breed of person that med schools attract. Come to think of it, I really wasn't friends with any other pre-meds. I never liked them. eh.

You always start interesting threads. 🙄

 

[mac_kin]

0

 

[MossPoh]

are you muslim? you sound like it. dude, relax, let go, enjoy life.

There are some people who don't have fun, nor find it relaxing to get blind drunk like many people like to do, especially post exam.

 

[cowme]

are you muslim? you sound like it. dude, relax, let go, enjoy life.

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_OQRtv3cOLU[/YOUTUBE]

 

[RySerr21]

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_OQRtv3cOLU[/YOUTUBE]

hahaha yea i was wondering what part of that post sounded 'muslim'

 

[CardiacIntensivist]

are you muslim? you sound like it. dude, relax, let go, enjoy life.

Didn't you ask for your account to be deleted?

 

[dangit]

med school indeed does attract a certain breed of ppl (ie. type A).

i suspect most ppl who are driven and competitive will not get along with ppl like themselves. you can't expect to be friends with everyone in med school. i came to med school to learn medicine, not to make friends. i did make a few friends, nevertheless, but these ppl tend to be pretty chill. i can't stand those kids who act like they know everything or have to know everything.

to keep it short, it's okay if you're not good friends w/ everyone, although i'm sure there's gotta be one person who you're cool with and down to keep in touch with after you graduate from med school. even if you don't, doesn't really matter.

 

[shadowfox87]

I'm almost the same way. Though, I do get along with my small group members very well. I just hang out with people I sit with in class and that's about it. I also don't care to have any more friends than this.

 

[Shellzie2010]

I'm pretty much in the same situation. I find myself mostly hanging out with my boyfriend who is a graduate student or my friends from high school/undergrad who are in the area. I get along with everyone in my class and always have people I can ask if I have questions or people to chat with while in class. And I have one person who I can really consider a friend. But I'd like to have more friends in my medical school class, just because I'm used to having at least a few close friends to do work with and I kind of miss that.

The problem is I'm not really sure how to go about making more friends in med school. I tried to be really social at the beginning of the year, but I found I just didn't click with anyone or enjoy a lot of the social activities that seem to be popular. It seems like everyone either spends most of their time at home not socializing or just goes out and drinks all the time. It's not that I'm opposed to drinking, I actually quite enjoy it. I just don't like drinking for the sake of drinking. I like to drink while doing something fun. And the few times I've tried to invite people to do things other than just get drunk, they haven't been interested.

I never really clicked with the premeds in college either...

 

[xanthomondo]

I'm in the same boat with you, OP.

But I've noticed that being part of some of the cliques has benefits. In the first two years many back-tests and study guides were circulated via email. No one ever sent these to the entire class, but you just had to know the right people.

 

[MCAT guy]

[YOUTUBE]_OQRtv3cOLU[/YOUTUBE]

I lol'ed

 

[medgrlsox21]

Since so many people on here seem to feel the same way I think its normal. Some people who come right form college, attempt to form the same thing in medical school. Others grow up a bit and start living their own lives. Not to say you can't enjoy the company of classmates, but its like living in the "real world" how many times to people say their best friends with this guy at work. Work is work, it's great if you find awesome friends there but as long as you can get along just fine that's all you really need.

 

[HawaiiHereICome]

I was as social as I could be for most of first year. I went out with my class, I attended most lectures, etc...but it seems like most cliques had already formed and I wasn't too crazy about the kids I hung out with. Then, I met my current bf and instead of going out with my class after exams, I just hang out with him.

I also have a roommate that is NOT a medical student. He's really chill and from the area, so I usually just hang out with him and his local friends whenever I want to go out.

I stopped attending lecture a while ago since I didn't get anything out from them, so now the only people from my class I see regularly are the ones in my "small group". We have a relationship more like colleagues than classmates though.

Thing is, I don't really care that I'm not great friends with anyone from my class. Is this bad? Is it going to be detrimental to me at some point? I was a fairly popular guy in both high school and college. I'd be the guy that would walk into a party and everyone would turn and yell my name (don't mean to sound arrogant). I haven't acted any differently in med school than I have in previous years, so I figure its simply a different breed of person that med schools attract. Come to think of it, I really wasn't friends with any other pre-meds. I never liked them. eh.

Pssshhh, I intend to hang out with the non-premed undergrads. Come on you know they're bound to be way more fun then type-A med students. Plus, fresh(wo)men tend to be going through the hole experimental/wild/craziness that is college and frankly I missed out on that a bit being a recovering type-A premed gunner.

 

[unsung]

I've made much better friends with doctors I've worked with than with my classmates. I didn't have much socioculturally in common with 90% of my former classmates to make a meaningful friendship with.

However, if you can find doctor friends in the long run, do it. You'll be amazed how much easier it is to get a job by friendly recommendations. I myself landed a good jig yesterday and if I find a slot that opens up, I'm willing to try to recommend one of my friends and hope they get it if they are interested to relocate for the job.

I kind of agree with this. Though I am finding that UPPERCLASSMEN are way more friendly & helpful than my own classmates. And since it's the same school, I can't totally blame the disconnect on just the "personality type" the school attracts or the overall culture, or whatever...

I'm forced to kind of think a lot of it has to do with competitiveness. Not even the outright gunner-esque type of competitiveness, where ppl are actively mean. It's more the type of "I'll be nice to you, but I'll still maintain a front in front of you, act like everything is totally A-okay all the time."

Not conducive for real relationships, kwim? Upperclassmen I've met, otoh, have been uniformly friendly, and interested in helping out with whatever advice they have. Makes sense, I guess. They don't feel a need to act a certain way, or not to show any vulnerabilities.

One of the biggest things I can't stand about classmates is this need to act like they know everything all the time. In addition, many of them tend to be loud extroverts who love to gloat whenever they know something someone else doesn't. And even during the times they don't know/understand something, oftentimes their loud obnoxiousness kind of covers it up... 'cuz somehow loudness got equated with confidence somewhere along the line.

I don't know.

 

[han14tra]

I kind of agree with this. Though I am finding that UPPERCLASSMEN are way more friendly & helpful than my own classmates. And since it's the same school, I can't totally blame the disconnect on just the "personality type" the school attracts or the overall culture, or whatever...

I'm forced to kind of think a lot of it has to do with competitiveness. Not even the outright gunner-esque type of competitiveness, where ppl are actively mean. It's more the type of "I'll be nice to you, but I'll still maintain a front in front of you, act like everything is totally A-okay all the time."

Not conducive for real relationships, kwim? Upperclassmen I've met, otoh, have been uniformly friendly, and interested in helping out with whatever advice they have. Makes sense, I guess. They don't feel a need to act a certain way, or not to show any vulnerabilities.

One of the biggest things I can't stand about classmates is this need to act like they know everything all the time. In addition, many of them tend to be loud extroverts who love to gloat whenever they know something someone else doesn't. And even during the times they don't know/understand something, oftentimes their loud obnoxiousness kind of covers it up... 'cuz somehow loudness got equated with confidence somewhere along the line.

I don't know.

LOL, I agree with this for the most part.

 

[mdeast]

I'm pretty much in the same situation. I find myself mostly hanging out with my boyfriend who is a graduate student or my friends from high school/undergrad who are in the area. I get along with everyone in my class and always have people I can ask if I have questions or people to chat with while in class. And I have one person who I can really consider a friend. But I'd like to have more friends in my medical school class, just because I'm used to having at least a few close friends to do work with and I kind of miss that.

The problem is I'm not really sure how to go about making more friends in med school. I tried to be really social at the beginning of the year, but I found I just didn't click with anyone or enjoy a lot of the social activities that seem to be popular. It seems like everyone either spends most of their time at home not socializing or just goes out and drinks all the time. It's not that I'm opposed to drinking, I actually quite enjoy it. I just don't like drinking for the sake of drinking. I like to drink while doing something fun. And the few times I've tried to invite people to do things other than just get drunk, they haven't been interested.

I never really clicked with the premeds in college either...

You know, I think this is perfectly fine. There's a difference between undergrad and graduate school and that's the reality that you're an adult now and that it's mainly a stepping stone to your "real life". I definitely go to a lot of the med school events and have a small group of people I hang out with consistently outside of class....but I also spend a lot more time seeing undergrad friends or my significant other, or trying to meet other grad students from different schools, etc. than I do with my own class. For me, 9-5, 4 days a week (in anatomy lab, histology, lecture, etc.) is enough for me. I also think having those strong networks outside of school keeps you focused on what you want out of your life after medical school. It also helps you stay a bit more sane, understanding that there's a life outside of school (like people that aren't in medicine?! omg?!). For me, my first year has seemed more balanced because of the fact that I didn't just hang out only with other med students like some of my classmates have.

 

[ButImLETired]

I kind of agree with this. Though I am finding that UPPERCLASSMEN are way more friendly & helpful than my own classmates. And since it's the same school, I can't totally blame the disconnect on just the "personality type" the school attracts or the overall culture, or whatever...

I'm forced to kind of think a lot of it has to do with competitiveness. Not even the outright gunner-esque type of competitiveness, where ppl are actively mean. It's more the type of "I'll be nice to you, but I'll still maintain a front in front of you, act like everything is totally A-okay all the time."

Not conducive for real relationships, kwim? Upperclassmen I've met, otoh, have been uniformly friendly, and interested in helping out with whatever advice they have. Makes sense, I guess. They don't feel a need to act a certain way, or not to show any vulnerabilities.

One of the biggest things I can't stand about classmates is this need to act like they know everything all the time. In addition, many of them tend to be loud extroverts who love to gloat whenever they know something someone else doesn't. And even during the times they don't know/understand something, oftentimes their loud obnoxiousness kind of covers it up... 'cuz somehow loudness got equated with confidence somewhere along the line.

I don't know.

This is all very true, and I wish premeds were more aware of it. I like to think of it as "drinking the kool-aid". My school is a particular culprit of it, what with our all-encompassing wellness program and the whole "happiest students in the nation" moniker. I don't doubt that most people are fairly happy. But med school is hard. Studying all the time is hard. Tests are hard. IT'S OK!! It's ok to be frustrated, and it's ok to not like every professor, and it's ok to not understand what the hell is going on. I feel like med students are always trying to one-up each other on how well-balanced their lives are- oh, I'm doing a triathlon and I'm running these three clubs and I want to go into derm and by the way doesn't my hair look fabulous?! Go to any advice panel on "what you next class is going to be like" and these are always the people that are selected. And then you have the kids who are struggling in silence because they feel like they're the only ones for whom med school isn't super easy.

I honestly just think it's a dangerous attitude. I'm really open about being disgruntled and frustrated and exhausted all the time, and I've gotten a bit of a reputation as a complainer (fair), a downer (semi-fair), and with some people, as a straight up idiot (less fair). All because I'll admit that yeah, passing that last test wasn't easy. But I feel like I always need to make up for the fact that NO ONE SAYS ANYTHING NEGATIVE, EVER.

Anyway, sorry for the rant. It's just something that bugs me about med students. If people would just grow up a little and stopped worrying about impressing everyone with how easy they find med school to be, I think we'd have a lot less depression and anxiety all around since people would just be able to talk about it with their classmates instead of bottling up, drinking the kool-aid and smiling through it all.

 

[EgotiStick]

The culture of medicine definitely breeds this contempt/competition for one another in medical school.. its almost too bad that the match wasn't "pre-ordained" in a sense that at least then everyone wouldn't always be competing.

I like my reputation as a sarcastic *******, and I think a lot of the know-it-all types at my school are the ones with the most mental issues. Confidence is being aloof of the petty bull****, and I think many of my classmates (and many medical students around the country/world) would be happier if they recognized this earlier.

I guess I should add that I chill with friends from undergrad, medical school friends pretty equally +/- my old lady.

 

[smuwillobrien]

It won't affect you at all, just as long as you're friendly in general.

 

[shadowfox87]

It's hard to make friends in med school, when most of them have that innate competitiveness against you. However, there are good friends, you just have to look for them. I avoid every conversation that involves grades. As soon as a person asks me for my grade, I tend to just avoid them. Competition begins with grades, eliminate that and things get easier.

That said, I don't think you will make your lifelong best type of friends until you enter clinicals or residency.