I.suck.at.this.

[TigerLily46]

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I am a new intern, and I have no idea what the hell is going on most of the time. We do team rounds, so that means we break up the patients and round as fast as we can. Counterintuitive, huh? I round on different people everyday, and I feel like there are always things going on with the patients on my service that I have no concept of. I'm on trauma, and I was on call my first night. We got 10 traumas. They weren't all major, and I'm sure other people have had crazier experiences, but I was overwhelmed. I'm slow and I forget to do things I never would have missed as a student. I'm terrified that I'm going to hurt someone. I feel like the other interns are so much better than me, and that I just suck.

woe to me.

 

[Winged Scapula]

I am a new intern, and I have no idea what the hell is going on most of the time. We do team rounds, so that means we break up the patients and round as fast as we can. Counterintuitive, huh? I round on different people everyday, and I feel like there are always things going on with the patients on my service that I have no concept of. I'm on trauma, and I was on call my first night. We got 10 traumas. They weren't all major, and I'm sure other people have had crazier experiences, but I was overwhelmed. I'm slow and I forget to do things I never would have missed as a student. I'm terrified that I'm going to hurt someone. I feel like the other interns are so much better than me, and that I just suck.

woe to me.

We all felt that way when we started, and still do ocassionally.

One of the things I hated most about Trauma, even as a Chief, was that it was impossible to round on the entire service and see every patient. I hated not knowing what was going on and seeing patients added and deleted from the list without ever having seen them. Nature of the beast when you have a large service.

I agree that you should see the same people every day - the best way to assess wounds, the progress with PT, diet, etc. is by familiarity with a patient. If you're seeing someone new every day, that is impossible. However, you are not alone and many services are run this way. If you feel comfortable, speak to the Chief and see if its possible to see the same patients every day - I think they would get better care.

As for being slow, the learning curve is steep but you will be amazed at how far you've come this time next year. There is so much to keep track of that you didn't have to as a student, not to mention the added real and imagined responsibility. You will be fine as long as you check, recheck and check again on your patients, their test results, etc.

 

[mdb3006]

I am a new intern, and I have no idea what the hell is going on most of the time. We do team rounds, so that means we break up the patients and round as fast as we can. Counterintuitive, huh? I round on different people everyday, and I feel like there are always things going on with the patients on my service that I have no concept of. I'm on trauma, and I was on call my first night. We got 10 traumas. They weren't all major, and I'm sure other people have had crazier experiences, but I was overwhelmed. I'm slow and I forget to do things I never would have missed as a student. I'm terrified that I'm going to hurt someone. I feel like the other interns are so much better than me, and that I just suck.

woe to me.

If all else fails, call your friendly night-surgery intern to confuse issues further. We're all just as clueless as you.

 

[imtiaz]

youre not alone. trust me when i say you are NOT alone. i feel the exact same way. im on transplant, and one of my seniors told me "when youre on call as an intern you should live, eat, and breathe one thing. say it to yourself repeatedly. 'keep them alive until 5'."

 

[njbmd]

I am a new intern, and I have no idea what the hell is going on most of the time. We do team rounds, so that means we break up the patients and round as fast as we can. Counterintuitive, huh? I round on different people everyday, and I feel like there are always things going on with the patients on my service that I have no concept of. I'm on trauma, and I was on call my first night. We got 10 traumas. They weren't all major, and I'm sure other people have had crazier experiences, but I was overwhelmed. I'm slow and I forget to do things I never would have missed as a student. I'm terrified that I'm going to hurt someone. I feel like the other interns are so much better than me, and that I just suck.

woe to me.

Hi there,
First of all, most of Trauma service is babysitting and discharge planning. Think of this rotation as getting you good at those things. We have all been there and done that.

Second, make a bit of a check list for your Trauma pateints that includes things like: final reads on all radiographic studies done or not done, neck cleared or not cleared, abdominal protocol complete or not complete, repeat secondary survery done or not done etc. Just kind of get an idea in your mind where everyone is and keep good notes.

Third, trauma is the most thankless and completely out of control service that you can have. Don't beat up on yourself, it's the nature of the service and not you. If they didn't manage to "do themselves in" and wound up in the trauma bay, they are hard to kill so don't worry about doing anything more harmful then they have done to themselves in the first place.

Believe me, I was in your shoes and I remember the pain too well. Fortunately, once you get great at managing your service, you will move on to another that will challenge you in a different way. Good luck and you will be fine.

njbmd 🙂

 

[LovelyRita]

yep it's the end of week one and i've never felt dumber in my life. at our place it's because EACH attending and EACH service and EACH resident does things COMPLETELY different. Dude. I got a talking-to 7 times since yesterday b/c a nurse hoodwinked me into d/c'ing an NGT, which ended up not happening because ANOTHER nurse came along and saved the day by informing all parties involved that THIS attending doesn't want the NGT pulled till he says so. And has he been around? Do the residents call me to round with him? NO. 😡 🙄 😴

 

[Tater]

Chiming in for the "you are not alone" crowd. I got burned for prioritizing my tasks incorrectly (a "systems" thing that you learn once and never do again) and got completely blasted by a nurse ("if you can't do your job...") by putting off her request in favor of the rule out MI patient, the desaturating patient, and the atrial fibrillation patient with HR in the 150's. What kind of bright idea is it to have interns carry four different service pagers on call? I am only one dadgum person.

 

[Pilot Doc]

Having been there, having been terrified, and having survived, I assure you it will get better. There's an enormous amount to learn, much of it entirely non-medical (how to order a CT scan on weekdays vs. weekends, which attendings want what, etc.)

Remember the patient is the one with the disease 🙂

 

[jayman]

Chiming in for the "you are not alone" crowd. I got burned for prioritizing my tasks incorrectly (a "systems" thing that you learn once and never do again) and got completely blasted by a nurse ("if you can't do your job...") by putting off her request in favor of the rule out MI patient, the desaturating patient, and the atrial fibrillation patient with HR in the 150's. What kind of bright idea is it to have interns carry four different service pagers on call? I am only one dadgum person.

You know, nurses have really helped me out during my first two weeks as an intern, but I swear that for every one very helpful, knowledgable, and understanding nurse, there are two that are the nastiest, dumbest, laziest fuglies you have ever seen. Gross.

No wonder I haven't thought about sex (much) since I started.

 

[Blade28]

I'm currently on the trauma service, and my new intern is feeling the same way. It'll get better - that's all I can offer right now. 🙂

 

[toxic-megacolon]

I am a new intern, and I have no idea what the hell is going on most of the time. We do team rounds, so that means we break up the patients and round as fast as we can. Counterintuitive, huh? I round on different people everyday, and I feel like there are always things going on with the patients on my service that I have no concept of. I'm on trauma, and I was on call my first night. We got 10 traumas. They weren't all major, and I'm sure other people have had crazier experiences, but I was overwhelmed. I'm slow and I forget to do things I never would have missed as a student. I'm terrified that I'm going to hurt someone. I feel like the other interns are so much better than me, and that I just suck.

woe to me.

I feel the same way. I just tell myself, the whole "prerounding/knowing all the little things going on with patients social issues/memorizing labs + vitals" days will soon be over (well in a year or two). Who cares if you suck at this part. Its only a minor aspect of what your future surgical career will be like. I've seen senior residents who amazing about tracking events about floor patients, but are just terrible in teh OR. That would be a lot worse situation, no?

 

[dobonedoc]

Keep at it. One day soon it will be much easier than it was just the other day. Pretty soon you'll be showing students how to do it better, and having meaningful discussions with your senior residents and attendings.

As for huring people, just try to do what is right for the patient. Even though you might be tired or hungry, keep working for the patient. Between your hard work and the work of the nurses, very few really bad things will happen.

Sounds like you've expressed feelings that everyone of those who have gone before have felt - on many occasions. Finally, relax. You'll function much better if you trust yourself and your training. Stop worrying about others being better. Just be yourself.

 

[oldman]

i'm feeling the same way too, and i'm at the easiest site.

 

[MacGyver]

Good god people if surgery is really this intense my bet is that you guys are killing just as many people as you are helping.

 

[supercut]

Good god people if surgery is really this intense my bet is that you guys are killing just as many people as you are helping.

Obviously you have no idea what you are responding to. What you are reading is posts by brand new interns, fresh out of medical school. There is little that these individuals do independently, and there are always more experienced people available to help.

And it's not just in surgery that interns feel overwhelmed...all specialties are subject to this feeling. It's just like any new job, with new roles and responsibilities.

Starting out as an intern is stressful enough without ignorant comments like this.

 

[Krazykritter]

I have to say that I am very impressed with all the support & comraderie that everyone is showing to the interns posting here. I can't wait to be in the same position of an intern needing support (although mostly b/c it will just mean that I got in a surgery program of my choice) 🙂

 

[LovelyRita]

The 1st month is over....and overall wasn't that bad. There were people around me who really seemed to care about how I was doing, and if I was surviving. For instance several times during the month the vascular surgeon would take me aside and ask me how I was doing and if there was anything I needed and if I was happy. He'd say "because, if you aren't, you let me know and I'll do something about it." 😎

 

[Faebinder]

The 1st month is over....and overall wasn't that bad. There were people around me who really seemed to care about how I was doing, and if I was surviving. For instance several times during the month the vascular surgeon would take me aside and ask me how I was doing and if there was anything I needed and if I was happy. He'd say "because, if you aren't, you let me know and I'll do something about it." 😎

My fear is to be lumped up in the DK3 also known as DK-Cube.

Those are the ones that Don't know that they don't know what they don't know.....

 

[goldie]

Tigerlily, et al: I just finished a month of trauma at a very busy city hospital. Pretty exciting for the most part, but I felt like a ******* most of the time. I really didn't know much about my patients and when asked about Mr. Q's diet, I gave that vacant stare attendings hate.

What was frustrating is that I'm so busy drawing blood, putting in lines, doing discharge summaries, convincing the CT guy to see my patient, spending 3 hours of my night just getting someone to the MRI and back, that I didn't have much time to get to know my patients. Oh, but I'm got better at dealing with the corrections system!

Nursing, well, most are pretty lazy, but I think they're more institutionalized than everything. Their union tells them not to draw blood, put in lines, give immunizations (that one got me), etc., and that their 15-minute coffee break is untouchable. Unions are a destructive force overall, but I've never seen it so bad as it is in medicine! Gives good nurses a bad name. And those that seek to go the extra yard and viewed with suspicion.

Just venting.....

 

[TigerLily46]

is torment the radiologist. You guys are right when you say that trauma is all about discharge planning. I seriously lurk around radiology all day to try to get final reads on my patients so I can clear their c-spines and send them home. I'm not sure why I have to do this. The radiologist reads trauma patients first everyday, and dictates the films at that time. He doesn't get there until 7:30, and my senior has me standing there waiting for him when he comes in. I understand he wants to discharge people, but I wouldn't mind if the poor radiologist had a minute to sit down and concentrate on the films. He actaully said to me, "Ya know, Sara, you have been a real pain in the ass today."

As far as my nurses go, I have had only a few minor problems with them. There's the nurse who asks me questions that are both irrelevent to patient care, and that I don't happen to know the answers to, about once or twice an hour. There was also the incident involving TPN orders the ICU nurses wanted me to write (and paged me overhead 6 times for) while I was busy dumping an enitre chest tube's worth of blood on my socks in the trauma bay, but I digress...

Things are getting a little easier, but I still feel stupid about 90% of the time. Plus, my med students are coming off of step 1 knowing all kinds of stuff I knew and then forgot. My fourth years are studying for step 2, and know even more stuff that I have forgotten. Did the fourth year of medical school plus two months of vacation really make me this stupid?

Thanks for all of the support from you guys. I know I'm not alone.

 

[LovelyRita]

is torment the radiologist. You guys are right when you say that trauma is all about discharge planning. I seriously lurk around radiology all day to try to get final reads on my patients so I can clear their c-spines and send them home. I'm not sure why I have to do this. The radiologist reads trauma patients first everyday, and dictates the films at that time. He doesn't get there until 7:30, and my senior has me standing there waiting for him when he comes in. I understand he wants to discharge people, but I wouldn't mind if the poor radiologist had a minute to sit down and concentrate on the films. He actaully said to me, "Ya know, Sara, you have been a real pain in the ass today."

As far as my nurses go, I have had only a few minor problems with them. There's the nurse who asks me questions that are both irrelevent to patient care, and that I don't happen to know the answers to, about once or twice an hour. There was also the incident involving TPN orders the ICU nurses wanted me to write (and paged me overhead 6 times for) while I was busy dumping an enitre chest tube's worth of blood on my socks in the trauma bay, but I digress...

Things are getting a little easier, but I still feel stupid about 90% of the time. Plus, my med students are coming off of step 1 knowing all kinds of stuff I knew and then forgot. My fourth years are studying for step 2, and know even more stuff that I have forgotten. Did the fourth year of medical school plus two months of vacation really make me this stupid?

Thanks for all of the support from you guys. I know I'm not alone.

wow. *shoulder rub*
🙂

 

[Faebinder]

is torment the radiologist. You guys are right when you say that trauma is all about discharge planning. I seriously lurk around radiology all day to try to get final reads on my patients so I can clear their c-spines and send them home. I'm not sure why I have to do this. The radiologist reads trauma patients first everyday, and dictates the films at that time. He doesn't get there until 7:30, and my senior has me standing there waiting for him when he comes in. I understand he wants to discharge people, but I wouldn't mind if the poor radiologist had a minute to sit down and concentrate on the films. He actaully said to me, "Ya know, Sara, you have been a real pain in the ass today."

As far as my nurses go, I have had only a few minor problems with them. There's the nurse who asks me questions that are both irrelevent to patient care, and that I don't happen to know the answers to, about once or twice an hour. There was also the incident involving TPN orders the ICU nurses wanted me to write (and paged me overhead 6 times for) while I was busy dumping an enitre chest tube's worth of blood on my socks in the trauma bay, but I digress...

Things are getting a little easier, but I still feel stupid about 90% of the time. Plus, my med students are coming off of step 1 knowing all kinds of stuff I knew and then forgot. My fourth years are studying for step 2, and know even more stuff that I have forgotten. Did the fourth year of medical school plus two months of vacation really make me this stupid?

Thanks for all of the support from you guys. I know I'm not alone.

What you need is a big hug and a pat on the back....You can do it Sara. 🙂

 

[TigerLily46]

Thanks 🙂

I got a "strong work" from an attending today. I think that will last me for a while.

 

[Winged Scapula]

Thanks 🙂

I got a "strong work" from an attending today. I think that will last me for a while.

Enjoy that - positive reinforcements are few and far between in most programs.

 

[njbmd]

is torment the radiologist. You guys are right when you say that trauma is all about discharge planning. I seriously lurk around radiology all day to try to get final reads on my patients so I can clear their c-spines and send them home. I'm not sure why I have to do this. The radiologist reads trauma patients first everyday, and dictates the films at that time. He doesn't get there until 7:30, and my senior has me standing there waiting for him when he comes in. I understand he wants to discharge people, but I wouldn't mind if the poor radiologist had a minute to sit down and concentrate on the films. He actaully said to me, "Ya know, Sara, you have been a real pain in the ass today."

Hi there,
I just want you to know that I still torment the radiologists even as a chief resident. When they say to me "Ya know, njbmd, you have been a real pain in the ass today", I just smile sweetly and say," Dr. Radiology, I just want you to feel the love today too!" 😀

Glad to know that you hung in there and that your attending noticed. As Dr. Cox said, "Positive reinforcements are few and far between in most programs." There are few jobs as thankless as being a surgical intern and you dug in and got the job done. It wasn't easy and it didn't make you popular with the radiology folks but you perservered for your patients (and sanity). 👍

njbmd 🙂

 

[scrubbedin]

I am a new intern, and I have no idea what the hell is going on most of the time. We do team rounds, so that means we break up the patients and round as fast as we can. Counterintuitive, huh? I round on different people everyday, and I feel like there are always things going on with the patients on my service that I have no concept of. I'm on trauma, and I was on call my first night. We got 10 traumas. They weren't all major, and I'm sure other people have had crazier experiences, but I was overwhelmed. I'm slow and I forget to do things I never would have missed as a student. I'm terrified that I'm going to hurt someone. I feel like the other interns are so much better than me, and that I just suck.

woe to me.

Yeah, I'm 6 weeks in now, and I've never felt more worthless in my life than in the past month. I'm still unwaivering in my desire to be a surgeon, but I'm pretty sure I'll never see that day because I wont survive the residency. Or my eyes wont survive anyway....one of these evenings I'm going to sob so hard my eyes are just going to break open and bleed.

 

[Doc Ivy]

Yeah, I'm 6 weeks in now, and I've never felt more worthless in my life than in the past month. I'm still unwaivering in my desire to be a surgeon, but I'm pretty sure I'll never see that day because I wont survive the residency. Or my eyes wont survive anyway....one of these evenings I'm going to sob so hard my eyes are just going to break open and bleed.

Good God, please tell me you have someone in your life who you can talk to-- someone to hold you. You should not be going through this alone. 🙁

 

[LovelyRita]

I'm still unwaivering in my desire to be a surgeon, but I'm pretty sure I'll never see that day because I wont survive the residency.

OK, I feel the same way, but....

Yes you will! You're unwavering in your desire to be a surgeon. You'll survive. I've decided that this year (intern) you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. It's like a repeat of 3rd year where you feel like a *******. It all seems brand-new. And so people don't value what you have to add unless it's scutwork. But it's hard b/c you're a doctor now, right? You're supposed to know everything!

I'm sorry you feel so bad, I hope it gets better for ya. Just remember someday you'll be a surgeon, doing your thing, happy with your career choice. 😍

 

[scrubbedin]

OK, I feel the same way, but....

Yes you will! You're unwavering in your desire to be a surgeon. You'll survive. I've decided that this year (intern) you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. It's like a repeat of 3rd year where you feel like a *******. It all seems brand-new. And so people don't value what you have to add unless it's scutwork. But it's hard b/c you're a doctor now, right? You're supposed to know everything!

I'm sorry you feel so bad, I hope it gets better for ya. Just remember someday you'll be a surgeon, doing your thing, happy with your career choice. 😍

Maybe. The other interns are miserable too, which makes me feel like I'm validated a little, but...when they talk about leaving to do something else, they bring up some damn good points about how other professions in medicine are better.
I do have someone else 🙂 thank goodness, it's the only thing that keeps me going.

 

[JackBauERfan]

Obviously you have no idea what you are responding to. What you are reading is posts by brand new interns, fresh out of medical school. There is little that these individuals do independently, and there are always more experienced people available to help.

And it's not just in surgery that interns feel overwhelmed...all specialties are subject to this feeling. It's just like any new job, with new roles and responsibilities.

Starting out as an intern is stressful enough without ignorant comments like this.

i agree with this, you dont get taught in medical school all the social/case issues and your responsibilities are a LOT less. And add in all the dictations and crap and your time becomes limited haha. One of my pet peeves is nurses/staff that get on to you for not seeing to 'their issue' in a timely manner, I guess they think that when we are not talking to them, we are sitting in a call room watching tv or something instead of seeing other patients. One time I got some folks in 'express admit' pissed off because I didn't see this transfer patient for the past hour and half. We of course had 5 admissions in the ED and another transfer straight to ICU (but they thought the patient in the express admit has to be seen NOW). I think its really disrespectful!

 

[JackBauERfan]

is torment the radiologist. You guys are right when you say that trauma is all about discharge planning. I seriously lurk around radiology all day to try to get final reads on my patients so I can clear their c-spines and send them home. I'm not sure why I have to do this. The radiologist reads trauma patients first everyday, and dictates the films at that time. He doesn't get there until 7:30, and my senior has me standing there waiting for him when he comes in. I understand he wants to discharge people, but I wouldn't mind if the poor radiologist had a minute to sit down and concentrate on the films. He actaully said to me, "Ya know, Sara, you have been a real pain in the ass today."

As far as my nurses go, I have had only a few minor problems with them. There's the nurse who asks me questions that are both irrelevent to patient care, and that I don't happen to know the answers to, about once or twice an hour. There was also the incident involving TPN orders the ICU nurses wanted me to write (and paged me overhead 6 times for) while I was busy dumping an enitre chest tube's worth of blood on my socks in the trauma bay, but I digress...

Things are getting a little easier, but I still feel stupid about 90% of the time. Plus, my med students are coming off of step 1 knowing all kinds of stuff I knew and then forgot. My fourth years are studying for step 2, and know even more stuff that I have forgotten. Did the fourth year of medical school plus two months of vacation really make me this stupid?

Thanks for all of the support from you guys. I know I'm not alone.

haha this is so true too. I remember as a med student thinking some resident's didnt know crap. Now I know the feeling haha.

 

[Winged Scapula]

One of my pet peeves is nurses/staff that get on to you for not seeing to 'their issue' in a timely manner, I guess they think that when we are not talking to them, we are sitting in a call room watching tv or something instead of seeing other patients.

Reminds me of the time during residency when I worked hard to get the message that came across the telephone screen when answering from the Surgery call room changed from "Surgery Sleep Room".

Not that anyone felt bad that perhaps they had awakened us from the rare nap, but rather they ASSUMED we were just hanging out in this room and sleeping, when in reality few of us ever did. Finally got it changed to Surgery Call Room. Not much better, but perhaps it will challenge some of the assumptions.

 

[tussy]

All I can say is "it gets better". I remember feeling the same was as an intern. It doesn't really get worse than that. It just gets better and better.

Hang in there. Make sure you have other interns to lean on. When I was a PGY1 a group of us surgical interns used to get together every saturday morning for a greasy breakfast and comparing war woulds, nurse bashing, senior bashing, ... Playing the "who has been abused the worst this week" game, etc. It's comforting to know that you're not alone.

 

[JackBauERfan]

Reminds me of the time during residency when I worked hard to get the message that came across the telephone screen when answering from the Surgery call room changed from "Surgery Sleep Room".

Not that anyone felt bad that perhaps they had awakened us from the rare nap, but rather they ASSUMED we were just hanging out in this room and sleeping, when in reality few of us ever did. Finally got it changed to Surgery Call Room. Not much better, but perhaps it will challenge some of the assumptions.

yah so many times (haha only been on call like 15 times so far) when I'm called at night on the intern pager at like 3am when I was seeing someone having chest pain on the floor, and when I answer the MICU nurses say "sorry to wake u up but we need you to come here and see this guy is seizing". WHY ASSUME I WAS SlEEPING!! haha I know they are just trying to be nice in some instances when they say it like that but just pisses me off. But I'm nonconfrontational and just go along with everything since it really doenst matter what they think I was doing.

 

[Winged Scapula]

yah so many times (haha only been on call like 15 times so far) when I'm called at night on the intern pager at like 3am when I was seeing someone having chest pain on the floor, and when I answer the MICU nurses say "sorry to wake u up but we need you to come here and see this guy is seizing". WHY ASSUME I WAS SlEEPING!! haha I know they are just trying to be nice in some instances when they say it like that but just pisses me off. But I'm nonconfrontational and just go along with everything since it really doenst matter what they think I was doing.

Classic.

A.as if anyone could ever sleep on those 1/4" dusty mattresses they supply to the call rooms

B. as if anyone could ever sleep between the pages for a Tylenol order or antibiotic renewal (we finally got the Pharmacy to extend these orders until 0700 automatically, so the nurses wouldn't call in the middle of the night for a Cipro renewal on someone going home in the am).

C. as if anyone could sleep with the paper thin walls allowing everyone else's pages be heard (so I was always suprised when people would sleep through their pages - why? I can hear YOUR pager!!!)

 

[JackBauERfan]

Classic.

A.as if anyone could ever sleep on those 1/4" dusty mattresses they supply to the call rooms

B. as if anyone could ever sleep between the pages for a Tylenol order or antibiotic renewal (we finally got the Pharmacy to extend these orders until 0700 automatically, so the nurses wouldn't call in the middle of the night for a Cipro renewal on someone going home in the am).

C. as if anyone could sleep with the paper thin walls allowing everyone else's pages be heard (so I was always suprised when people would sleep through their pages - why? I can hear YOUR pager!!!)

haha actually all a,b,c have happened here too. My first couple of call nights, I tried to catch a nap on those horrible beds, and my neck hurt for two straight days, no joke. then I tried napping on the couches, and that was kind of ok, but something was still not right.

A few pages I got that I KNOW they are just playing with me. One time I got called because the blood glucose was 69, but the nurse told me the patient felt like she was low on her sugar and really wanted some, so the nurse gave her 1amp d50 and now the sugar is 97. I sat quiet for about 5 sec, because I thought she was going to jump to the end and say and now her sugar is 500 or something, but she just sat there too. So I was like.....ok what? and she said 'what do you want me to do now?'. I was at a loss. I said sounds good, let me know if her mental status changes any again...

maybe I should have said accuchecks q 20 minutes for the next 3 hours, then q 1 hour for 3 hours after that....

 

[boston]

haha actually all a,b,c have happened here too. My first couple of call nights, I tried to catch a nap on those horrible beds, and my neck hurt for two straight days, no joke. then I tried napping on the couches, and that was kind of ok, but something was still not right.

A few pages I got that I KNOW they are just playing with me. One time I got called because the blood glucose was 69, but the nurse told me the patient felt like she was low on her sugar and really wanted some, so the nurse gave her 1amp d50 and now the sugar is 97. I sat quiet for about 5 sec, because I thought she was going to jump to the end and say and now her sugar is 500 or something, but she just sat there too. So I was like.....ok what? and she said 'what do you want me to do now?'. I was at a loss. I said sounds good, let me know if her mental status changes any again...

maybe I should have said accuchecks q 20 minutes for the next 3 hours, then q 1 hour for 3 hours after that....

actually, to be honest, i don't think she was playing with you. the pt is symptomatic and 69 is on the lowish side, especially if it's the beginning of the night or pt is NPO, i.e. it's on the way down. not unreasonable to give a little sugar (i woulda given 1/2 amp and rechecked in an hour). she may be a new nurse, unsure of herself, or just wanted to keep you apprised in case something bad happened.

nonetheless, i feel your pain bro

 

[JackBauERfan]

back to the topic....don't feel bad, everyone feels like they don't know anything first year!

 

[Winged Scapula]

...or just wanted to keep you apprised in case something bad happened.

That's it - she gave a patient a medication without a physician's order and wanted you to back her up in case something went wrong. It happens more often than you would know (especially if you're nice and the nurses know you won't yell at them for doing things like this).

 

[LovelyRita]

I have a borderline-bipolar attending right now who uses a nice-guy facade around everyone else but has been dishing it out to me hard "quit f-ing up, LovelyRita", "start acting like you're having fun around here, LR", "i'm going to ask you another question. do you think you're going to get this one right?" I understand he's basically dishing out mind game stuff, and usually I can play along good, but yesterday it took me all the way down to the level where I'm wondering if I'm truly cut out for this. He didn't hold back on anything...but somehow I probably deserved it for not being as well-read as I should be at this point. Anyone got a cameron for sale?

Not a pleasant feeling and I actually had nightmares all night.

 

[njbmd]

I have a borderline-bipolar attending right now who uses a nice-guy facade around everyone else but has been dishing it out to me hard "quit f-ing up, LovelyRita", "start acting like you're having fun around here, LR", "i'm going to ask you another question. do you think you're going to get this one right?" I understand he's basically dishing out mind game stuff, and usually I can play along good, but yesterday it took me all the way down to the level where I'm wondering if I'm truly cut out for this. He didn't hold back on anything...but somehow I probably deserved it for not being as well-read as I should be at this point. Anyone got a cameron for sale?

Not a pleasant feeling and I actually had nightmares all night.

Don't take it personally. You said it all in the first sentence of your post. The attending has personality issues. Practice letting this stuff roll off. Take anything constructive from this attending that you can find and file the rest under (had issues with toilet-training as a child). Take up some form of physical exercise and picture yourself squashing your attending's head with each step (Run the stairs in the hospital).

Yes, you should read. Yes, you should think about what you read and why you treat disease entities in this or that manner. Yes, you should know the complications of every procedure that you perform and every pharmaceutical that you give. You WILL know these things with reading and experience so find your Cameron (or Sabiston, or Greenfields or Schwartz), do your reading regularly and let the personality stuff roll off.

It's stressful but it does spur you into action. Just don't let the nightmares happen too often. You need your sleep.

 

[Analyzethis]

WOW-I have to give you guys all credit-I really wanted to go into surgery-I amn a 4th year studnet-until I did my rotation and was abused as a student-and saw the interns abused and in general-such an abusive, tough enviroment-you guys have balls to hang in there and do that-a very respectable job-I find it funny that "strong work" from an attending is few and far between. Most other fields-you hear that kind of stuff many times daily-reminds me of how tough they treat you-anyway I couldnt hack it-needed a wayyyy easier life but props to you dudes! keep your head up-after all-and one of the few reasons I still wanted to do surgery just a little is the priceless daily line you get to use-"ya, I am a surgeon"-bad a@s!

 

[Winged Scapula]

WOW-I have to give you guys all credit-I really wanted to go into surgery-I amn a 4th year studnet-until I did my rotation and was abused as a student-and saw the interns abused and in general-such an abusive, tough enviroment-you guys have balls to hang in there and do that-a very respectable job-I find it funny that "strong work" from an attending is few and far between. Most other fields-you hear that kind of stuff many times daily-reminds me of how tough they treat you-anyway I couldnt hack it-needed a wayyyy easier life but props to you dudes! keep your head up-after all-and one of the few reasons I still wanted to do surgery just a little is the priceless daily line you get to use-"ya, I am a surgeon"-bad a@s!

I'm not sure whether residents in other fields get pats on the back every day, but it can be tough to go months or even years, without positive reinforcement. Its gotten so that when I get the "strong work" comments in my field I disregard them as the musings of someone who doesn't know better!

 

[boston]

I have a borderline-bipolar attending right now who uses a nice-guy facade around everyone else but has been dishing it out to me hard "quit f-ing up, LovelyRita", "start acting like you're having fun around here, LR", "i'm going to ask you another question. do you think you're going to get this one right?" I understand he's basically dishing out mind game stuff, and usually I can play along good, but yesterday it took me all the way down to the level where I'm wondering if I'm truly cut out for this. He didn't hold back on anything...but somehow I probably deserved it for not being as well-read as I should be at this point. Anyone got a cameron for sale?

Not a pleasant feeling and I actually had nightmares all night.

sound advice from njbmd. 👍

personally, i feel this sort of belittling by an attending is counterproductive. although sometimes in the short term, it motivates me to work harder, i find that after 3 years of it, i feel generally demoralized. day in and day out, you feel like you are putting forth an enormous effort, but those type of comments make you feel that your efforts are unappreciated. as kimberli cox said, then you get to the odd rotation where the attendings love you and give you all sorts of positive feedback and you ask yourself, "are they nuts?" it's not like your effort or approach changes drastically from month to month.

i would like to think that at this level, we are pretty much adults now. intimidation or spanking are not the best ways for us to learn anymore. IMHO, we can learn just as well without all the drama when someone plainly tells us, "you do these things well, you can stand to improve in these other areas." but maybe the unpleasantness and making us feel insecure serves to keep us from getting complacent.

lovelyrita, keep your chin up. you're not alone.

 

[cfdavid]

Tigerlily, et al: I just finished a month of trauma at a very busy city hospital. Pretty exciting for the most part, but I felt like a ******* most of the time. I really didn't know much about my patients and when asked about Mr. Q's diet, I gave that vacant stare attendings hate.

What was frustrating is that I'm so busy drawing blood, putting in lines, doing discharge summaries, convincing the CT guy to see my patient, spending 3 hours of my night just getting someone to the MRI and back, that I didn't have much time to get to know my patients. Oh, but I'm got better at dealing with the corrections system!

Nursing, well, most are pretty lazy, but I think they're more institutionalized than everything. Their union tells them not to draw blood, put in lines, give immunizations (that one got me), etc., and that their 15-minute coffee break is untouchable. Unions are a destructive force overall, but I've never seen it so bad as it is in medicine! Gives good nurses a bad name. And those that seek to go the extra yard and viewed with suspicion.

Just venting.....

Dude, spend some time in the automotive field. Thos guys make nurses look like efficient, dedicated, helpful, workaholics...... (not all, ofcourse..)

 

[LovelyRita]

sound advice from njbmd. 👍

personally, i feel this sort of belittling by an attending is counterproductive. although sometimes in the short term, it motivates me to work harder.

thanks for the support. I think all of his trash-talking may have gotten under my skin. Yesterday didn't get any better, and as a matter of fact, I made a very out-of-character mess-up in the OR. Nothing life-threatening, but enough where I'm going to probably catch hell for the rest of this rotation.🙁 This is so unlike me, to be affected by the nuances of an attending; I agree with you though that it does motivate one to work harder. I definitely feel a much-needed fire (till now many/most surgeons have seemed indifferent toward my interest, but now at least I'm getting some reinforcement, although it's negative). I gotta find some way to shake this off.

Thanks again guys and girls.

 

[njbmd]

thanks for the support. I think all of his trash-talking may have gotten under my skin. Yesterday didn't get any better, and as a matter of fact, I made a very out-of-character mess-up in the OR. Nothing life-threatening, but enough where I'm going to probably catch hell for the rest of this rotation.🙁 This is so unlike me, to be affected by the nuances of an attending; I agree with you though that it does motivate one to work harder. I definitely feel a much-needed fire (till now many/most surgeons have seemed indifferent toward my interest, but now at least I'm getting some reinforcement, although it's negative). I gotta find some way to shake this off.

Thanks again guys and girls.

Again, we have all had days like you describe above. I promise that you will live to fight another day (perhaps today??👍) As Boston said above, this hazing and belittling is "counterproductive" but it still goes on. Until we get in a position to change it, it's part of the process and not a good part of the process. You would be inhuman if this didn't "get to you" on some level.

As Kimberli said, I do find myself questioning the motive behind anything positive that is said to me. That's the main reason why the old "tear them down to build them up" mentality is counterproductive.

Hang in there and be good to yourself. Another way of looking at this is that if this attending didn't care about your professional progress, he would have said nothing to you but belittled you behind your back. You are going to be fine. 🙂

 

[Pembleton]

Hey ladies,

I was wondering if the men get the same amount of razing?

 

[Winged Scapula]

Hey ladies,

I was wondering if the men get the same amount of razing?

I have not noticed any difference - meaning the boys seem to get just as much as us girls.

When I applied to gen surg several years ago, several female residents told me that they thought the attendings and nurses were harder on them than on the male residents. Info catalogued but I never felt that way...although its certainly possible it occurs elsewhere.

 

[boston]

Hey ladies,

I was wondering if the men get the same amount of razing?

well, there's this one attending who will call me "little girl." but last time I checked down there, I'm still male.