I think I'm crazy

[Magz08]

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Hey everyone,

Great to know this forum exists because I really, really need help!
I was wondering if anyone else was in the situation of not being sure if they are doing the right thing.....

I graduated from Columbia U and have only decided to pursue medicine during my senior year. I have taken the remainder of pre-req classes post graduation while working in a hospital. I have taken my MCAT and received a 34, and my GPA is decent at a 3.6.

At this point I would love to say I have it all figured it out and am 100% gung-ho about applying to medical school, but I am questioning my motivations. When I attended Columbia I was lucky enough to intern at ABC (TV station) as well as a national magazine. I really loved the field of journalism but I was concerned about job security of those in the field. Medicine has always been a part of my life and I think subconsciously I have always wanted to become a doctor (dad's a sugeon) but I'm worried about the level of responsibility/dedication as a physician.

At this point, I am having trouble distinguishing between what I want to do and what has been infused in me due to family traditions. I like bio, biochem and all that but I am mesmerized (perhaps most likely falsely) by the "glamour?" of the media industry. I get more excited over the career of a journalist/editor, but my gut feeling is directing me to apply to medical school.....I'm so confused about what I want and I don't know how to identify my true "self". I do have days where I can't picture myself doing anything else but medicine, but there are other days where I feel I may have made a mistake in my pursuit of this career choice.

I'm wondering if I should just forget this editor/journalism thing, but I'm also scared of regretting doing medicine because I may not have a true passion for it.

Anyway, is anyone out there fond of giving advice, or has anyone been in a situation similar to this where they need to decide between 2 separate fields?

 

[Isoprop]

those are some tough questions that only you can answer. since your father is a surgeon and since you interned with ABC, you have a good idea of what both fields entail.

at first, i would say go with your "gut" instinct. this is what i would do. what may be glamorous today may not be glamorous tomorrow. on the other hand, it is possible that you can pursue a career in media and then go into medical school if you don't like it. it's much easier to do this than to invest 200k in loans & 4+ years in medical education and realize you really liked the media career instead.

if you're truly stuck in the crossroads, i would try to seek advice from people who know you the best like family and friends. realize that your parents will give you a biased answer particularly your father.

don't get stuck up on the idea of "regretting" one career choice over the other. in the end, you may be happy with both career choices. good luck to you.

 

[sunny1]

in the end, you may be happy with both career choices. good luck to you.

No one can help the OP decide whether medicine is the right choice for him/her. It's definitely a long road to go down if you aren't sure you really want it. But something that I find appealing about becoming a doctor is the great variability in the activities you can choose to comprise your professional life.

Scientific journals might not be the kind of "media" you were considering, but who are the editors-in-chief and associate editors of medical journals? Doctors. Who are their peer reviewers who edit and appraise submissions? Generally doctors. Here's an example: http://www.neurology.org/misc/edboard.shtml

In addition to academia, there are companies like WebMD too. Even news networks frequently turn to medical experts/correspondents....a la Sanjay Gupta (just listing him because CNN is always throwing him at us) but NBC, CBS, etc. all have them.

So you can still get your writing and editing kick even while being a doctor. Theoretically you could even have a hand in news segments I suppose whether behind the scenes or in front of the camera. It's all up to you and the path you pursue.

 

[elbee]

I was going to mention Sanjay Gupta as well.

I think what would be important for you is to volunteer in a hospital/doctor's office/free clinic and or shadow. If you dread being in that environment then medicine is probably not for you. But, you definitely need to volunteer.

 

[Magz08]

I've read all your posts and I thank you for giving me an opinion.

I know that only I can know what I truly want to do but sometimes I just feel like 2 different people. When I worked in the hospital I enjoyed it. Days went by fast; pts were fun to talk to; I liked having a chance to be down to earth as opposed to trying to impress people as an intern.
Medicine is just a more grounded, more genuine career, founded on the knowledge you have and your work ethic as opposed to blindly relying on promotions from the company as in the media industry which may not always be asociated with what and how much you've done. Yes, there are downsides to medicine and politics and lawsuits and problems with patients....but in the end you have that degree and you have the authority and knowledge that I feel no other career can provide you with to the same extent.

However, perhaps my brain is infested with television hype but for some reason being in offices where I can see myself meeting famous people and having a chance to attend premiers, fashion shows etc. gets me really excited - and this is not based on anything substantial at all whatsovever.
It's shallow, I know.
Maybe it's just that I don't know the down side of that industry as opposed to medicine about which I had a realistic view from the start bc I saw the ups and dows of my father's career.

I probably sound so immature to all of you and I fully comprehend that, so this is why I am posting on an anonymous forum. I just wonder if my values will change as I get older. I'm sure many of you are more mature in looking at your career choices.
Have your values changed before deciding on medicine?

ugh so sorry, pre-quarter life crises...........

 

[sunny1]

However, perhaps my brain is infested with television hype but for some reason being in offices where I can see myself meeting famous people and having a chance to attend premiers, fashion shows etc. gets me really excited - and this is not based on anything substantial at all whatsovever. It's shallow, I know.

This isn't what your job would be though, right? Unless you were an entertainment reporter/producer, these are really just possible perks of a job, not the job itself.

However, you do sound excited about it, so as someone else suggested why not give it a few years and try it out. You're still young and you seem to be in a good position to pursue it.

A few years delayed (if you do finally decide on medical school down the line) to test the waters with the media world will simply give you a better foundation for making your choice. That way you'll learn firsthand about any possible downsides to a job in the media world and be able to make a more informed decision. Sounds win-win to me.

 

[wowitsmike]

hi magz

my story is a lot like yours, minus the columbia part

i have a degree in journalism and have worked in the broadcast side of it for almost ten years in large markets...i've accomplished a lot and, dare say, i enjoy it...but medicine was always tugging at my brain...i finally made the commitment a couple of years ago to pursue medicine and will be applying in 2008...obvously your academic credentials are not in question

the biggest issue that i have had a hard time struggling with is the conglomeration of media and the ultimate goal of turning a huge profit...like any business, obviously making money is the goal but somewhere along the way what counts as journalism and the overall ethics of journalism itself have fallen by the wayside...i am frustrated on a daily basis by what i see counts as "news"...stabbings, shootings, drownings, car accidents, etc...but the problem doesn't so much lie with the companies themselves, it lies with the public's voyeuristic thirst for death and despair...

now, obviously, on the national level you don't find that as much...its quite prevalent on the local level...but with national news, you run into larger ethical issues surrounding politics, terrorism, etc and how to report on these things...

one of the reason i initially got into journalism was the thought that i was providing a service to the public...but the service the public wants and the service i want to provide are two different things...i want to affect peoples lives, people want to know if there was a deadly rollover last night...

so because of this and having seen friends totally devoted to journalism lose their jobs because of cutbacks i made the decision to leave the business and pursue my dream of being a doctor...

obviously this is just my experience but the one prevalent thing i see everyday in the newsroom is people becoming jaded and cynical because of the direction journalism has taken...it will take your soul and not apologize for it, i can promise you that

all i can tell you, is do what you think will make you the happiest but be prepared to work your tail off in either situation because journalism is no piece of cake...it requires you to bust your ass, set aside your opinions and ethics, and give the people what they want so that ratings remain strong...

 

[Isoprop]

you need to think about what the "bread and butter" of each career choice is. The glamour and perks of any career choice never outweighs the mundane daily tasks you are going to do day in and day out. you have to like or at least be okay with what you are doing 90% of the time.

from what you are describing, medicine seems to be the path for you. just my opinion

 

[Magz08]

hi magz

my story is a lot like yours, minus the columbia part

i have a degree in journalism and have worked in the broadcast side of it for almost ten years in large markets...i've accomplished a lot and, dare say, i enjoy it...but medicine was always tugging at my brain...i finally made the commitment a couple of years ago to pursue medicine and will be applying in 2008...obvously your academic credentials are not in question

the biggest issue that i have had a hard time struggling with is the conglomeration of media and the ultimate goal of turning a huge profit...like any business, obviously making money is the goal but somewhere along the way what counts as journalism and the overall ethics of journalism itself have fallen by the wayside...i am frustrated on a daily basis by what i see counts as "news"...stabbings, shootings, drownings, car accidents, etc...but the problem doesn't so much lie with the companies themselves, it lies with the public's voyeuristic thirst for death and despair...

now, obviously, on the national level you don't find that as much...its quite prevalent on the local level...but with national news, you run into larger ethical issues surrounding politics, terrorism, etc and how to report on these things...

one of the reason i initially got into journalism was the thought that i was providing a service to the public...but the service the public wants and the service i want to provide are two different things...i want to affect peoples lives, people want to know if there was a deadly rollover last night...

so because of this and having seen friends totally devoted to journalism lose their jobs because of cutbacks i made the decision to leave the business and pursue my dream of being a doctor...

obviously this is just my experience but the one prevalent thing i see everyday in the newsroom is people becoming jaded and cynical because of the direction journalism has taken...it will take your soul and not apologize for it, i can promise you that

all i can tell you, is do what you think will make you the happiest but be prepared to work your tail off in either situation because journalism is no piece of cake...it requires you to bust your ass, set aside your opinions and ethics, and give the people what they want so that ratings remain strong...

Wow, thank you for that insight.
I guess I'm idealizing it and focusing on the perks rather than the actual job...it's good to hear from someone who has been in this industry.

 

[Magz08]

you need to think about what the "bread and butter" of each career choice is. The glamour and perks of any career choice never outweighs the mundane daily tasks you are going to do day in and day out. you have to like or at least be okay with what you are doing 90% of the time.

from what you are describing, medicine seems to be the path for you. just my opinion

This acutally made me smile with relief; which I take for a good sign. Thank you for that solid opinion, Isoprop.

truthfully, I was never "happy" sitting in an office.
Still, something strikes me as "magical" about the profession of a magazine editor or producer, but I'm wondering if my consideration of these professions is based on a childish belief in wanting to have a glamorous life, much as a teenage crush on a movie star. I just wish we all knew what we were supposed to do with our lives.

 

[vtucci]

You could always become a sports medicine doctor or plastic surgeon to the rich and shameless. 😀

 

[kuruppu]

This acutally made me smile with relief; which I take for a good sign. Thank you for that solid opinion, Isoprop.

truthfully, I was never "happy" sitting in an office.
Still, something strikes me as "magical" about the profession of a magazine editor or producer, but I'm wondering if my consideration of these professions is based on a childish belief in wanting to have a glamorous life, much as a teenage crush on a movie star. I just wish we all knew what we were supposed to do with our lives.

Oh man, thank you for this post. Really thank you. I completely and totally identify with your situation:

I graduated with a double major in Economics and Film Studies in 2006. After graduating, I interned at The World Bank with the idea that I would pursue a career in econmic development. But, that experience made me realize that it was not right for me. Everyone at the bank was so jaded by the politics associated with development, that they rarely got the sense that they were actually having an impact on people's lives. It was painful to be in that environment.

When I completed my internship a few months back, it was very difficult to find a job because I didn't and don't know exactly what I wanted to do. I am currently still searching and have applied to 500+ positions with very little response. And, much like you, I have always been intrigued by the "Hollywood" glamour and lifestyle. I have always loved films, both watching and making them. In college, I had another "plan" of getting an MBA and pursuing a career focused on the business side of the film industry. But, with all the problems I've had in the recent months trying to find a position within the corporate world, I'm not sure I can handle the rate race to the top that so many people go through within that industry. Many of the most talented filmmakers from my university's program are currently working as assistants to top executives. That is not something I want to do either.

Medicine has come into the picture most recently when I was thinking about what I liked most about development: Helping people and providing a service. And what I like about film: having an impact on the way people think about their lives, if even for a second. Granted, I haven't taken a science course since high school, but I feel like if I could just make the committment, I would be great at it. I am currently an ER volunteer at UCSF med, so we will see how that goes.

I apologize for this rant, but what I am trying to say is that I identify with your situation. I don't have any advice for you, but maybe hearing my story may help you make your decision. Good luck to you, and I am SURE you will make the the best decision for you.