Ideal Medical student's spouse/partner's occupation?

This forum made possible through the generous support of SDN members, donors, and sponsors. Thank you.
Zuhal

Zuhal

Full Member
10+ Year Member
Joined
Dec 29, 2012
Messages
247
Reaction score
4
So medical students, what do you think is an ideal occupation for a male spouse of a female Medical student? Also, if you're currently in medical school and married, do you mind sharing what your spouse does for a living? Is anyone here dating/married to a lawyer?

p.s. I understand that there are things much more important than a partner's occupation, but I'm just curious.
Members don't see this ad.
 
I'll be starting first year in about 45 days. My fiance is currently an RN, but plans on getting an NP. As a prior hospital employee, it is always nice to have someone to relate to and talk about medicine with.
 
Members don't see this ad :)
yehhhboiii said:
househusband
Click to expand...

Pretty much your only option, though it depends on specialty. I've seen very successful female surgeons in my three years working in a department of surgery at a major academic center. They were all 1) not married by choice or 2) divorced or 3) had a househusband. I had a pretty decent sample size of that institution during that time. It was kind of sad. There was one female doc married to a male doc. I met their children. It was kind of obvious they basically raised themselves.

But that was general surgery. Maybe if you get to have a life (ie, any other specialty) you might have more hope for something other than a Ken doll.

I have friends that are dating lawyers. Continuing only my anecdotal evidence, that is also not a good idea. Or just as good as doctors, anyway. First response was best response, househusband.
 
AlmostAnMD said:
I have friends that are dating lawyers. Continuing only my anecdotal evidence, that is also not a good idea. Or just as good as doctors, anyway. First response was best response, househusband.
Click to expand...

Househusband would be nice but those are super hard to find hahaha.
Lawyers apparently have a higher divorce rate than doctors so I wonder what it'd be like for a lawyer to marry a doctor?
 
I am engaged to a soon to be housewife. She might do some work while I am in residency but we hope ill make enough that she won't have to.

I plan on working long hours, I need someone who isn't going to.
 
Among my close female friends who are married the husbands are a fellow student (x3), teacher (x3), psychologist (x1), and office manager type (x3).

I would say the ideal occupation for a spouse of a female medical student/doctor is whatever occupation fulfills the person that the female medical student/doctor finds to be an appropriate life partner.

Having said that, life is going to be easier if that person either makes enough money to be able to afford help around the house or works few enough hours to do a good chunk of what needs to be done around the house.
 
Wife is a teacher. I think I prefer her to be non-medical. Means we don't talk about it at all while I'm at home.
 
Dwindlin said:
Wife is a teacher. I think I prefer her to be non-medical. Means we don't talk about it at all while I'm at home.
Click to expand...

I agree with ya. As a male (whose parents were both in the healthcare industry ), I'd like to see my SO to be non-medical too. This way we have different things to talk about, and I can piss her off by proving "natural remedy" is the wrong way to go 😀

My (serious) GF is a high school teacher, and there are just so many new conversation topics that arise. I think having a SO in another profession can stimulate both of us intellectually.
 
My wife is an RN in labor & delivery. She works three 12's a week and it is awesome! Her career is perfect where she can jump out to raise babies for awhile (which is what she wants :naughty:) and yet still take on a part time role if she wants to keep working. Plus she knows enough about the medical field to the point where I can talk to her and she follows, nor is grossed out by anything. And at this point in my education, her OBGYN knowledge has been super helpful haha
 
CjOz said:
I'll be starting first year in about 45 days. My fiance is currently an RN, but plans on getting an NP. As a prior hospital employee, it is always nice to have someone to relate to and talk about medicine with.
Click to expand...

Oh god, that's a recipe for disaster. Like the biggest disaster relationship/job combo possible.
 
Members don't see this ad :)
I always wanted a teacher who taught something I have no interest or knowledge in.
 
Women's Professional golf or tennis player would be my first choice followed by NFL sideline reporter.
 
Didierdrogba said:
I agree with ya. As a male (whose parents were both in the healthcare industry ), I'd like to see my SO to be non-medical too. This way we have different things to talk about, and I can piss her off by proving "natural remedy" is the wrong way to go 😀

My (serious) GF is a high school teacher, and there are just so many new conversation topics that arise. I think having a SO in another profession can stimulate both of us intellectually.
Click to expand...

Makes sense.
I'm starting to think that the ideal spouse of a medical student is either a
1) housewife/husband
2) teacher
3) Nurse
 
I'm starting med school soon, and happily married to an engineer. It's great because he's intellectually my equal (actually he's way smarter than me) but we never feel like we need to compete with each other. Engineers have much more flexible 9-5 jobs, and in my experience they tend to be more laid back/less competitive than the doctors and lawyers I know, which makes for a much more harmonious home life. When I get home I dont want to talk about work, so I couldn't imagine marrying someone else in healthcare. It's nice to have someone outside to keep you grounded in the real world.
 
I hope my husband will have a career that fulfills them and has REGULAR hours. Seriously a 40 hour work week is like nothing. So much free time. They also must have their own life/hobbies because I will frequently be neglecting them.

I know myself, and I would NEVER want a househusband. I would not respect them as a man. He would feel more like my employee and there would likely be little sexual attraction. Even with my big career, my man still has to be alpha in some way.
 
startswithb said:
I hope my husband will have a career that fulfills them and has REGULAR hours. Seriously a 40 hour work week is like nothing. So much free time. They also must have their own life/hobbies because I will frequently be neglecting them.

I know myself, and I would NEVER want a househusband. I would not respect them as a man. He would feel more like my employee and there would likely be little sexual attraction. Even with my big career, my man still has to be alpha in some way.
Click to expand...

wot m8?
 
startswithb said:
I hope my husband will have a career that fulfills them and has REGULAR hours. Seriously a 40 hour work week is like nothing. So much free time. They also must have their own life/hobbies because I will frequently be neglecting them.

I know myself, and I would NEVER want a househusband. I would not respect them as a man. He would feel more like my employee and there would likely be little sexual attraction. Even with my big career, my man still has to be alpha in some way.
Click to expand...

Does it concern you at all that this kind of view perpetuates sexism and gender stereotypes? I mean, I know that you can't control whom you're attracted to, but if housewife is an acceptable profession, shouldn't househusband be just as appropriate?

In addition, why does having a career as making someone more manly? Note that this question is rhetorical.
 
Pharmacist or CRNA. Good money, good hours.

Nurse is a good option too. My wife is a nurse/stay-at-home mom (splits the difference).
 
I'm a guy and I've thought about this. Ideally it would be some1 who excels at school and likes sciences (who understands what being a physician is like and can relate to my experiences), but at the same time doesnt need to work as much as I do, or can work part time. My top 5...

1) dentist
2) optometrist
3) pharmacist
4) np/pa
5) school teacher
 
Last edited:
My fiance is a special education therapist, going back to grad school for masters/BCBA certification. It's a nice blend, we are both pursuing service/care minded professions, and our daily work is diverse enough as to not drive us bat**** crazy at the dinner table.
 
RN.

Three 12s a week, benefits and insurance through her hospital, can easily find a new job when I match and we have to move, and can work as little as she wants when she wants to focus on having and raising our kids. Not easily grossed out, somebody to "talk shop" with, and can eventually get her NP when the kids are gone.
 
Any high level tech job that allows you to work a decent amount from home. They make great money and can hold down the fort outside of a few meetings a week.
 
Wife will be a teacher. I think its nice to have a spouse who will be outside of medicine. Plus, with her schedule, she will be able to spend much more time at home with our daughter through the younger (before schooling) years and she will have all summer off to hang out around home.
 
Ost3oclast said:
Wife will be a teacher. I think its nice to have a spouse who will be outside of medicine. Plus, with her schedule, she will be able to spend much more time at home with our daughter through the younger (before schooling) years and she will have all summer off to hang out around home.
Click to expand...

I agree with marrying outside of medicine. I get enough of talking about life sciences and such with all of my friends. My wife is a web designer and I love coming home and getting away from medicine. She brings in a good income while I'm in school and once I'm out of residency, she may just work from home or barely at all. It's all up to her at that point.
 
DrMaximus said:
she may just work from home or barely at all. It's all up to her at that point.
Click to expand...

I'm right there with you. With that sweet instate tuition my debt wont be that bad so no dire need of a second income if she can't/doesnt work its no biggie.
 
Zuhal said:
Lawyers apparently have a higher divorce rate than doctors so I wonder what it'd be like for a lawyer to marry a doctor?
Click to expand...

You should watch the Cosby show. Thats what its all about.
 
tantacles said:
Does it concern you at all that this kind of view perpetuates sexism and gender stereotypes? I mean, I know that you can't control whom you're attracted to, but if housewife is an acceptable profession, shouldn't househusband be just as appropriate?

In addition, why does having a career as making someone more manly? Note that this question is rhetorical.
Click to expand...

I don't care if other people want househusbands. I am just saying I know myself, and it's very innate for me to want a man with some sort of status. Part of it is that I can be dominating myself and need someone who challenges me. And mostly, I feel like some people treat their house spouses like employees. Something to think about.
 
I am married to an attorney and we have a few kids. He works for the government - a prosecutor. These positions pay a lot less but are much more 9-5 and flexible than big-time firm work. It has worked out pretty well so far, ending third year. We have joked many times that we are working on being the reverse Cosby family.

Having an independently wealthy at-home spouse who could afford lots of household help and time to pursue adult interests would probably be the imaginary ideal. Having been an at-home parent, it was too isolating and too financially stressful and risky for me to recommend it to anyone male or female, in reality.
 
thedoctor8706 said:
My wife is an RN in labor & delivery. She works three 12's a week and it is awesome! Her career is perfect where she can jump out to raise babies for awhile (which is what she wants :naughty:) and yet still take on a part time role if she wants to keep working. Plus she knows enough about the medical field to the point where I can talk to her and she follows, nor is grossed out by anything. And at this point in my education, her OBGYN knowledge has been super helpful haha
Click to expand...

+1 my wife is also an L&D nurse, and it's great for all the reasons above.
 
My husband works for a marketing company as a web developer. They moved to completely telecommuting about 2 months after I started MS-1. Our kids still go to daycare, otherwise he wouldn't get anything done, but I think it's the ideal situation for us right now. Our current thinking is that down the line, once my loans are paid off, if he wants to quit and just freelance as well as be an SAHD, that'd be totally okay with both of us. It's just a long ways down the road.
 
I work hard and I need to be rewarded. Hot housewife. Probably not American.
 
A two MD household would be ideal, but just someone who understands work would be great. A pharmacist, a dentist, or even a biomedical/biological PhD would be nice. Clearly I'm the type to bring work home haha.
 
Any job that can work from home to bring in a little extra money (independent website design?), and doesn't mind doing a few household chores alongside.

But I'm flexible.
 
I am starting medical school this summer and my wife is a NP working at one of the affiliated hospitals of my medical school. I had a previous life as an attorney and when I was in law school my wife was completing her NP program and teaching at the Nursing school part-time and working just a bit as an RN. I was also law clerking part time on the side. This time through graduate school we have 2 kids so I am much more worried than the last time!!
 
I would say they work for the school or university so you can get free tuition, cut down on the $200k debt, without which you might be more willing to explore the fields that arent automatically 300K with 100hr work weeks, which the SO would probably appreciate a bit.
 
Zuhal said:
So medical students, what do you think is an ideal occupation for a male spouse of a female Medical student? Also, if you're currently in medical school and married, do you mind sharing what your spouse does for a living? Is anyone here dating/married to a lawyer?

p.s. I understand that there are things much more important than a partner's occupation, but I'm just curious.
Click to expand...

Job doesn't matter as long as your spouse picked the right powerball numbers. 🙂
 
Do any of you think it is feasible to have a spouse in the military? My bf is in the military and sometimes I wonder how life would be like with him as a marine and me (hopefully) doctor?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

symphony1o1
Medical Student Survey [URGENT] Participants Needed for Research on Medical Students' Performance in Asynchronous Environment
Replies
1
Views
223
symphony1o1
symphony1o1
T
Disability insurance as medical student?
Replies
15
Views
906
RangerBob
RangerBob
R
Re-admitted Dismissed Medical Students
Replies
2
Views
1K
LucidSplash
LucidSplash
C
CHOP Summer URM Medical Student Research (SUMMR) Program
Replies
1
Views
630
coolknight99
C
S
SDN Article: Specialty Choices for Burned Out Medical Students
Replies
7
Views
2K
Powdermonkey
Powdermonkey
Top