if you've seen severe illness in your family, should you mention it in PS

[Sonya]

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Hi,

I'm working on the personal statement, which i'm not that confident about, and not sure i'm on the write track...
(i've read a bunch of sample ones, and it seems it's fine, but still it's a big enough thing to scare me a little)

but that aside, i've got a specific question.

I have a younger cousin (now deceased) who had rett syndrome, which is kindof like an autistic disorder, only they are basically fully mentally ******ed, and was basically unable to learn anything past 1-2 yrs of age. She was about 4 years younger than me, and we grew up (till i was 15) in pretty close proximity.

However, that being said, I don't think her life has had a dramatic impact on my going into medicine. Or even my interest in neuroscience. that is why i feel it does not belong. when she died, which was so unexpected it did, but I was all ready a senior in college then. It might have an impact on that i like to treat serious issues. It's very hard to say how it impacted me.

I was talking to a WashU MSTP student, who was my TA/friend and he said, by ALL means, definetly mention that, because medical schools like to hear about those kindof things.
Nonetheless, essay space is a premium, and right now it's loaded with nice stories from different volunteering experiences, my exposure to medicine, adn what I gained from different research I did. I will problably conclude with where i see myself as a physician. I'm going to some how pack into there what i can about ability to take "stress"/handle medical school.

Do you think i should mention it? I do not want to make a big deal of it, because it's not a big deal of me. and, i do not want to take advantage of it, because that does not seem 'right".

Right now, i 'm thinking just that - mention it. while i go through my essay, i'm thinking of a "cute" intro, in which i could just mention it.

Thanks,
Sonya

 

[loyen]

This sounds like a toughie...

My personal statement dealt mostly with my mothers battle with cancer (which she won. Yay!) and how it drove me to medicine, but in my case it really was a big deal in my life. But if your cousins illness wasn't a big deciding factor to you, it probably doesn't merit being the focus of your essay. But I would mention it.

You just don't want to seem too callous when talking about it breifly - on one hand you dont want to blow it out of proportion, but on the other hand you dont want to just dismiss it. So its tough.

But I say go with your original plan - mention it, but don't focus on it. Sounds like a plan.

 

[dankev]

My thought would be that if your cousin's illness didn't have a major impact, leave it out of your statement to make room for things that did. You'll have the opportunity to mention it at your interviews if you so choose. That being said, much of my statement is about my parents' deaths, but because it had a huge impact on my life and decision to become a doctor.

In the end, you just need to decide if it's important enough to take up some of your precious 5300 characters.😀

Good luck

 

[UCLAMAN]

If it really didn't have an impact on you then it isn't worth mentioning.

 

[Neuronix]

Absolutely mention it Sonya! My PIs wife shares a lab with us and she works on Rett Syndrome. It's a disorder that is so devistating that when you ask people why they work on Rett, it is because they were drawn to those little children.

For those of you who don't know about Rett, it takes cute little normal girls at age 1 - 2, and turns them into autistic and handicapped children. Parents are forced to watch as their happy, bubbly little children who used to sing and play, turn into unresponsive, mentally challenged children who do little but wring their hands all day.

Sorry to be melodramatic. Since you're considering MSTP, I can tell you where all the Rett researchers are if you're interested.

My cousin was paraplegic after a car accident, that involved him doing alcohol and drugs. After spending several years as a "sit-down" comedian and childrens hospital volunteer, he killed himself out of the blue. I was never close to him, but somehow I keep thinking it would help push me in the direction of spinal injury research. My PI now does spinal research, but he won't put me on that project. Grrrr.

 

[Ekaltadeta]

I have grown weary of personal statements based on a sob story, not to say yours is of this nature. If one basis their whole PS (or reason for going into med school) on that alone, they will be doing themselves a disservice. If the disease experience had any influence on your doctoring decision, mention it. It doesn't have to be the driving force behind your premise. For example, I plan to mention my dad's ICU stay, but not because it made me want to fight pancreatitis or drives me evermore towards medicine. None of that... it simply gave me a new perspective on doctor-family relations and what it feels like to be in the room with an ill family member when no one will tell you so much as what the vitals are. Until I realized that experience's effect on my own patient and family care, I planned to leave it out entirely. You surely don't need a sob story for a good personal statement, but if you can find novel meaning in any experience, use it.

 

[Cydney Foote]

Hi Sonya,

Your TA/friend is right in that med schools do like to hear about applicants' experience with illnesses. This can be a good way to tell whether the applicant has dealt with medical professionals and handled the situation with maturity and integrity.

However, in your case, it sounds like you have plenty of medical exposure without writing about your cousin's illness. I think you're better off using this opportunity to elaborate on the things that really affected your decision (and that implicitly show your personal qualifications, academic qualifications, communication skills, and motivation, the 4 things the AAMC says that med schools look for).

When I help my clients with their personal statements, I always advise them to write about what's most important to them. If you don't, you can come off sounding insincere even if you're an extremely good writer. If you do, your essay is going to be more original, more insightful, and hopefully much more successful.

Best of luck with your essay!

 

[Sonya]

Hi,

Thank you for the comment and suggestion, this is helpful.

yes, it can come up in the interview. My brother says the essay, besides selling yourself, is an icebreaker for the interview. That is, it provokes conversation for the interview. And, i am going to have trouble, I know it, leading the conversation in the interview, so an essay to give them starting talking ground would help.

anyway... how is this for complete coverage of my cousins situation, AND my intro... aka, how i start. (ignore the fact some sentences may be awkward and such, that will get fixed, i just know i read my essay without the intro, so i had to do it now).

If i feel other aspects of her life affected me to be put in, they will with ER experiences, or wherever they fit. But, not unlike any other EC.

so, i'm using the strategy I saw in sample essays in the sample essay book (one of many, i'm sure).

Here is my intro:
(i may or may not apply MSTP, but will be showing strong research interest).

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My first exposures to the two aspects of medicine: clinical and academic, came long before I considered thinking of a career, or understood what a ?research? or a "specialty" was. The same love for challenge that drove my youth to spend days solving puzzles, dreaming inventions, and writing programs made me major BioEngineering and stay involved with research. However, my current desire for clinical medicine has evolved into a conscientiously examined decision, with little to do with my first experience: watching my younger cousin growup with and die from Rett syndrome ? a debilitating autistic disorder.

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What do you think? Judge it as an intro to.

Thanks,
Sonya

 

[UCLAMAN]

Originally posted by Sonya
However, my current desire for clinical medicine has evolved into a conscientiously examined decision, with little to do with my first experience: watching my younger cousin growup with and die from Rett syndrome ? a debilitating autistic disorder.

If "your current desire for clinical medicine" had "little to do with your first experience" then why did you write about "your first experience" at all? Don't include the Rett Syndrome stuff just to include it. To me it makes no sense at all. If you are going to write about Rett Syndrome at least make sure you explain how it is relevant to your desire for medicine or how it has shaped you in some way or led you to medicine in some way.

Your experiences with Rett Syndrome have obviously affected you if you feel you could carry a conversation about it during an interview. If thats the case, why don't you put it in writing rather than just name dropping?

Sorry...I just think its superlame to say an event had little to do with your decision then spend a sentence describing that event. That makes no sense IMO.

Either your Rett Syndrome experiences were valuable in some way or they weren't. If they were valuable then write about it and go into detail. If not, then don't name drop in hopes of being able to explain yourself during an interview.

 

[Sonya]

i see what you're saying. I think i should think more about it.

Good night,

Sonya

 

[Yogi Bear]

as a tip to all current applicants:

The application is a long and tedious process. Don't use all of your ammo before the war has even started. the ps is only one battle. u've still got secondaries and interviews. With that in mind, DON'T write every single experience in your PS!!!! Save it for secondaries. If you don't trust me on this, u just might end up pulling your hair out trying to figure out what to write about for secondaries so that it doesn't sound like a ripoff of ur ps. i'd say narrow down ur ps to two or three possible approaches. use one and only one strategy when writing ur ps so it seems coherent and thourough. For the remaining one or two, use a different strategy on ur secondary. For the final strategy, implement that during interviews. that's when u could comment on "do you have anything else about urslef that u'd like to the committee to know about?". i.e. if u've used all ur ammo doing ps/secondaries, u'd be stuck if that question comes up.

 

[Cydney Foote]

Hi Sonya,

It's difficult to write your intro until you've fleshed out the meat of your essay. After you've identified your theme and outlined what you'll talk about, it's easier to go back and select the strongest, most eye-catching introduction.

And Yogi Bear is absolutely right -- don't blow all your stories on the first essay. You want to get the admissions committee's attention, not bombard them with all the details of your life. I recommend writing a human interest story -- i.e., telling a single focused story that reveals your personality and motivations. You might want to read the sample essays at Accepted.com, all actual essays from successful applicants, most of whom use this human interest approach.

Having said all that, here are a few quick comments about what you've written so far:

My first exposures to the two aspects of medicine: clinical and academic, came long before I considered thinking of a career, or understood what a ?research? or a "specialty" was.

Not bad, but a little boring -- if I were reading hundreds of applications each week, it wouldn't grab my attention enough that I'd want to read on (as opposed to having to read on). Instead briefly describe a compelling scene that draws the reader in -- perhaps from one of your initial exposures to medicine?

The same love for challenge that drove my youth to spend days solving puzzles, dreaming inventions, and writing programs made me major BioEngineering and stay involved with research.

If you're going to write about your younger days -- the puzzles, the inventions, etc. -- then this is a great thesis statement for one of your middle paragraphs. Before you use it, you do need to briefly describe yourself as a youth doing these things so you can legitimately claim it as a reason you went into bioeng and research.

However, my current desire for clinical medicine has evolved into a conscientiously examined decision, with little to do with my first experience: watching my younger cousin growup with and die from Rett syndrome ? a debilitating autistic disorder.

I agree with the other posters -- if this isn't why you're interested in medicine, then it adds little relevant information. Save it for your secondaries and interviews.

I know you're working hard on this essay -- keep at it! Writing is a slow process, but the time and energy you're putting into it will pay off.

 

[Sonya]

thanks for all the suggestions, especially that thing about the sendaries, yogi bear. maybe I'll scan through secondary questions.

I've already outlined, and done a lot of the major meat (which is mainly a lot of reflecting on ECs).

However, i just realized the AAMC application is allowing us a LOT of space to describe ECs, so that will allow me to shorten it a good deal. So, i'm going to descibe my ECs in the application first, then return back to my essay.

hmm, I think that intro got a little misinterpreted, anyway, i've got a while to think about it.

I'd say you're definition of human interest story is pretty much how my freewrite for the essay came out. I'll definetly keep it like that then, becuase the logical progression of why I chose those activities reveals everything about me. Now, i need to change the paragraphs from free-writes describing stories, to actually making a point about me understandable by the reader.

I have a book full of sample essays, thanks.

Sonya