I'm Starting To Think This Was A Big Mistake

[Garuda]

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I'm in medical school now. I like the location. I like where I'm living. I like the people at the medical school. I like all the typical lifestyle stuff.

But there's one thing that I just don't have much enthusiasm for, and that's the academics, the whole reason that I'm going to med school.

When I was touring the anatomy lab on Friday, all I could think of was, "I need to figure out a way to skip this class." I was very ashamed to think that, because I've never had those kinds of thoughts enter my head before.

Just looking at the anatomy book with pictures and drawings of people cut up on the inside makes me feel sick. And looking to the future with embryology, pharmacology, and whatever else isn't stirring up much interest for me either.

I majored in chemistry in college, and I've always liked biology. I thought I would like the medical academics but I'm just not feeling the enthusiasm or desire to learn for it. I could use some advice.

 

[doc05]

just wait until 3rd year -- then you'll KNOW it's a big mistake.

 

[medtechv79]

Maybe u should hang in there for a little bit and see if u can or cannot really stomach seeing dead body parts....if u can't then...maybe its not for u....but I'd wait and see until u actually go to the labs and stuff....

 

[Stinger86]

If it makes you sick to your stomach, you could always take some time off and then shadow some surgeons and sit in on procedures. I swear, if you can stomach surgical procedures, you can stomach just about anything.

Queasiness aside, a lot of med school academic courses suck. That's a reality. I considered quitting med school during my first year as well because I was bored to tears and ticked that I was spending lots of money to get "taught" stupid basic college science all over again. It gets better as you go along. If I were you, I'd consider taking some time off and shadowing different professions and see if you can find something you really like. That way, at least you'll have something to motivate you and keep you excited about getting through school. Good luck

 

[ball372]

Hey, I'm sorry to hear that you're not very happy in school right now. I haven't began orientation yet, so I can't advise you about classes yet. But here's my $0.02: I think that the question you need to ask yourself is that are you just having trouble in anatomy, or with ALL medical school classes in general? The latter is the bigger problem obviously. I would suggest that you hang in there for awhile to see if it's truly something you could enjoy. (I wouldn't want you to leave now, and perhaps regret it later).

Also, if biology is your passion, but you don't want to go to med school, have you thought of research?

If you think that deep down inside you REALLY want to be a physician, maybe you should try to stick it out and hang in there for awhile to see if these feelings of indifference and motivation go away. Also, maybe it would help if you tried setting goals for yourself like the person before me said: like you want to get a such and such grade... etc.

HANG IN THERE!!!!! don't be ashamed when you feel bad about not wanting to go to anatomy class. there is nothing wrong in feeling that med school may not be the right path for you. GOOD LUCK.

 

[daisygirl]

First semester of med school just sucks. Well, at least it did for me. I really hated first semester, and I almost left med school since I hated it that much.

Everything about first semester was hard for me. I hated the classes (biochem 😡 ), and I missed home. Also, I had no clue how to study for med school. Undergrad is a piece of cake compared to med school. The concept of planting my ass in a chair, until it was stuck in the chair, in order to memorize an infinite amount of minutae was really hard for me.

For some reason, after Christmas break of first year, I came to the conclusion that I was in the right place at the right time. I returned back to school rejuvenated and ready to do well. My grades improved vastly from that point on. Second year was better for me also (with the exception of cardio 😡 ).

Don't make any rash decisions right now; you haven't yet adjusted to your new life. MISS CLASS if you want to- who cares? Do what is right for you. Never feel guilty about missing class. You did not go to med school to become a professional audience member for whomever is lecturing that day. You (hopefully) are in med school because you want to be a physician. Unfortunately, the med school curriculum during the first two years can leave you with the feeling of 'why the hell am I here'. It gets better, and I really mean that. I cannot emphasize enough how much I hated med school first semester.

Give yourself some time to get adjusted to being a med student. If you find that you still abhor med school in ~two months, then take some time off. You've obviously worked very hard to be where you are- so, please give it a chance.

 

[JattMed]

Chief listen, you have a chance many only dream of 'you are in medschool'.
I had a girl in my first year Anatomy actually 'CRY' because she couldnt understand all the information-boo hoo. You dont have to go if you dont want to-skip a few here and there-it sounds like you may also be 'rebelling' against the expectations of attending every lecture/lab/PBL etc. One of my old PBL classmates said to me "you do the opposite of everyone else, it is kinda weird but kinda cool too". He was and is right, I dont follow things set out by others, I am known to skip and skip alot. As long as you dont fall behind and screw up do what you like is my motto. Do what works for you. If you dont feel like attending anatomy and carving up a cadaver then dont-but then you better study Moore's or Gray's. I skipped things I used to like, like anatomy-reason- I was sleepy or my hair didnt look good. Pathetic? Perhaps but that is me. The best time I had studying? Sitting in the hospital caf, up on the second floor overlooking the foyer on a table studying while wearing scrubs and fueled up on coffee. I hadnt attend shiznits that day but spent the day (8 hours) studying. I do work at Starbuck's too-great place to sit back with a coffee and make notes.Message is that your feelings may not necessarily mean medicine is not for you, but that you need to change your 'style' or find a 'style'. I will say it again, 'Medicine, or the experience of being a medical student is NOTHING like what I romanticized it to be'. I had always thought of med as being full of lectures, labs etc and then later you meet up with competent, keen,SHARING, FRIENDLY classmates and have late night cram session fueled by coffee, pizza and the occasional beer. NOT TRUE, the reality is people will hangout with you AFTER they have HIDDEN and crammed for 4 hours. So if you havent crammed and you go along to the pub etc you are 'EF'*******'d and no one will care. So dude dont let your 'feelings' of med lead you to drop out, suck it up and find your STYLE and you will see that medicine has it is ups too. If you are sick of text/studying etc, then by all means walk into the hospital and hang around the ward or shadow an intern (it makes them feel important) and this way you will see another aspect of medicine (i.e., it is not all about knifing a generous deceased persons corpus or staring at drug names and side effects). Hope there is a modicum of sensibility in what I wrote, forgive me mon cherie as I am wired on caffeine and need to get back to reviewing some neurology.
Cheers.
PS Garuda-be the strong/powerful bird that your name alludes to and stick it out.

 

[Samoa]

JattMed is right on target. A lot of people simply refuse to study with anyone else until they've mastered the material on their own. All that they're really seeking from group study is a feeling of superiority over their classmates. As for me, I'm so used to saying "I don't know, let's check and see" that I probably come off completely incompetent to some of them. I don't care, though. I learn the material, and that's what counts.

As for anatomy, well, it's OK to hate it. But you get two things out of anatomy lab: an intense group bonding experience, and a strongly imprinted knowledge of where things are in the body. Both of these are a result of the same disgustingness that makes you want to avoid the class entirely in the first place.

As you may have noticed, the theme of most of these posts is that you have to separate the process of learning the knowledge required from the nature of the work itself, because they are very different. At least until 3rd year. If you're here for the right reasons, and you know you'll enjoy what's at the end of the road, don't let the process of getting there discourage you.

 

[supereagles]

Chief listen, you have a chance many only dream of 'you are in medschool'.
I had a girl in my first year Anatomy actually 'CRY' because she couldnt understand all the information-boo hoo. You dont have to go if you dont want to-skip a few here and there-it sounds like you may also be 'rebelling' against the expectations of attending every lecture/lab/PBL etc. One of my old PBL classmates said to me "you do the opposite of everyone else, it is kinda weird but kinda cool too". He was and is right, I dont follow things set out by others, I am known to skip and skip alot. As long as you dont fall behind and screw up do what you like is my motto. Do what works for you. If you dont feel like attending anatomy and carving up a cadaver then dont-but then you better study Moore's or Gray's. I skipped things I used to like, like anatomy-reason- I was sleepy or my hair didnt look good. Pathetic? Perhaps but that is me. The best time I had studying? Sitting in the hospital caf, up on the second floor overlooking the foyer on a table studying while wearing scrubs and fueled up on coffee. I hadnt attend shiznits that day but spent the day (8 hours) studying. I do work at Starbuck's too-great place to sit back with a coffee and make notes.Message is that your feelings may not necessarily mean medicine is not for you, but that you need to change your 'style' or find a 'style'. I will say it again, 'Medicine, or the experience of being a medical student is NOTHING like what I romanticized it to be'. I had always thought of med as being full of lectures, labs etc and then later you meet up with competent, keen,SHARING, FRIENDLY classmates and have late night cram session fueled by coffee, pizza and the occasional beer. NOT TRUE, the reality is people will hangout with you AFTER they have HIDDEN and crammed for 4 hours. So if you havent crammed and you go along to the pub etc you are 'EF'*******'d and no one will care. So dude dont let your 'feelings' of med lead you to drop out, suck it up and find your STYLE and you will see that medicine has it is ups too. If you are sick of text/studying etc, then by all means walk into the hospital and hang around the ward or shadow an intern (it makes them feel important) and this way you will see another aspect of medicine (i.e., it is not all about knifing a generous deceased persons corpus or staring at drug names and side effects). Hope there is a modicum of sensibility in what I wrote, forgive me mon cherie as I am wired on caffeine and need to get back to reviewing some neurology.
Cheers.
PS Garuda-be the strong/powerful bird that your name alludes to and stick it out.

Great post-you really hit the nail on the head 😕. I suspect i might have the same problem starting next week and hopefully I can put your advice to good use. 👍

 

[Sage880]

A lot of people simply refuse to study with anyone else until they've mastered the material on their own. All that they're really seeking from group study is a feeling of superiority over their classmates.

I'm guilty of doing this and I kinda get pissed off at myself when I realize I'm doing it. I'm not trying to feel superior to class mates though - but I kind of feel like I'm spying on them to see if they know anything I don't know. I really try not to be a jerk about it though but it is my main motivation for being there.

I hate people like me though so I'm trying to stop doing that!

 

[VentdependenT]

just wait until 3rd year -- then you'll KNOW it's a big mistake.

HAHAHA. I try to warn people but they won't listen.

 

[pureofheart]

But there's one thing that I just don't have much enthusiasm for, and that's the academics, the whole reason that I'm going to med school.

When I was touring the anatomy lab on Friday, all I could think of was, "I need to figure out a way to skip this class." I was very ashamed to think that, because I've never had those kinds of thoughts enter my head before.

.

Sorry to hear that. Honestly, nobody truly enjoys cramming hours on end - unless they're very disturbed gunners with no social life. Most put up with it because they have to or need to. Hope things turn out better for you!

 

[Jason_AZCOM]

Academics only lasts 2 years? Do like being in the hospital? Do you have experience with patient care?

If the you love helping people, then the academics are just a means to an end... and I happy one at that.

I'm in medical school now. I like the location. I like where I'm living. I like the people at the medical school. I like all the typical lifestyle stuff.

But there's one thing that I just don't have much enthusiasm for, and that's the academics, the whole reason that I'm going to med school.

When I was touring the anatomy lab on Friday, all I could think of was, "I need to figure out a way to skip this class." I was very ashamed to think that, because I've never had those kinds of thoughts enter my head before.

Just looking at the anatomy book with pictures and drawings of people cut up on the inside makes me feel sick. And looking to the future with embryology, pharmacology, and whatever else isn't stirring up much interest for me either.

I majored in chemistry in college, and I've always liked biology. I thought I would like the medical academics but I'm just not feeling the enthusiasm or desire to learn for it. I could use some advice.

 

[greets fr. nyc]

echoing some fine sentiments above....

do you like waking up at 4:45 in the morn for 5:15 pre-rounds 5:45 work rounds, 6:10 attending rounds, and then lugging your self around for the next 15 hours till 8:00+?

do you have it in you to memorize just heaps upon heaps of factoids for the national boards? if you think the brachial plexus is difficult (i did, when i first saw that thing!!!), just wait until second year and third year.... man does it get worse!

are you ready for growing thick skin for non-constructive criticism and backward rules and ogre personalities? are you ready to change that inequalities someday and not, in the meantime, get beat down by the SYSTEM?

do you mind taking the time to simply play and laugh with the kid dying from a wilms tumor with mets to everywhere; can you do this in the face of having learned fairly deeply about the disease, the management issues, the family issues, and knowing and what's in store for him? he's your patient. are you going to disengage yourself or are you going to remain involved?

the point is, you have to be able to suck it up, be strong(!) mentally and physically, and yet preservere to maintain that sense of emotional well-being in yourself and that sincere interest in communicating with people who are sick, sometimes very sick.

********
indeed, you could make the first two years a sort of "game" or self-competition.... the rules being: can you learn the stuff, and also maintain well-being. Can you at the same time milk the system (go to class only when you really have to/want to) and also focus on what is clinically useful.

Can you teach yourself to have fun finding ways to teach YOURSELF and others?

i guess, that's what it's about.... it's about finding enjoyment in teaching yourself: teaching yourself the medical facts, teaching yourself how to have self-discipline to at the same time study, enjoy life, and withstand the grossness of human disease and blood and guts and pus and mucus;

teach yourself how to be emotionally healthy and physically tough during these stressful 7+ years; teach yourself how to get along with all sorts of people from all walks of life... teach yourself to appreciate the important things in life, while GETTING WORK DONE!

aye, that's the trick!


good luck! you can do it!

 

[VienneseWaltz]

A lot of people feel sick when they start anatomy, and tons of people skip class and do quite well academically. A lot of people are bored the first two years, especially if they were basic-science majors. Does your school have clinical stuff the first two years? If not, try to shadow some docs in specialties you might be interested in or volunteer in a free clinic in your community. I found that doing this sort of light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel activity helped me see how some of the the academics are actually relevant and gave me something to look forward to.

 

[doctorsbookmark]

Academic has very little to do with real life practice of medicine...
like what they say at the OR, "this stool shall pass"

 

[W222]

I wonder if you are in my anatomy lab, it seems like there were a couple people who really had a hard time with cutting and the fact that these are actually people we are working on.

 

[lattimer13]

i wasn't too fond of first year either. 2nd year is a little better, in that, now we are learning disease processes and soon how to treat them. much more clinical activity too. i suspect as i further my education i will get to play doctor more and more. hang in there.

 

[Asher]

I wasn't a big fan of the gross lab first year. I hated the smell and the type of learning involved (such as dimensional relationships of one structure to another) was more difficult.

Things that made it better was that I had a great group to dissect with. None of us were future surgeons or gunners but we were all hard workers and most importantly had a sense of humor about how hard our lives were at the time. For me, I found the most efficient use of my lab time was to spend time working very hard during official lab times and coming in on the weekends if certain profs were having extra hours for tutoring. I did my share of the work but I wouldn't feel guilty for not spending the time there that a few of my classmates did.

A few other things that I did to make gross more tolerable was to take extra efforts to keep the smell out of my house. Knowing at the end of the day that I could leave the aroma of embalming fluid behind was always good.

As for studying in groups, this never really worked for me during med school. Some of my classmates depended on study groups for their success and they were lucky that they found a system that worked for them early on.

 

[Green912]

One of the biggest mistakes people make it to overestimate the ability and knowledge of those around them. If you take a good look around you'll find that just about everyone is in the same boat in terms of ability.

 

[kc361]

I completely understand your predicament & your concern. I also want to assure you - it gets better!

I flat out hated the first two years of medical school. I chose medicine because I was excited about helping others and about the intellectual challenge, and during the first two years the day-to-day seemed completely contradictory to these motivations. I wasn't enthused about the material (although second year material was definitely more interesting than first), I had no patient contact, and worst of all, I found myself having to sacrifice time spent with my family and my other interests for the sake of memorization. I became pretty darn resentful and miserable after a while. I majored in chemistry in college and had not taken a multiple choice exam (with the exception of MCAT) since my freshman year of undergrad, and suddenly all I found myself doing was stuffing down material for one multi-choice exam after another - and giving up quality time with my hubby in the process. I seriously considered dropping out, and doubted on countless occasions that I was cut out for the field. My frustration mounted to such a point that I started investigating graduate programs in literature!

In retrospect, I am so relieved that I did *not* abandon medicine during those first two years. As a third year now, I've rediscovered the reasons why I chose medicine in the first place - and I love what I do. The experience is a thousand times more rewarding than anything I encountered in first and second year. Yes, the hours as a third year are grueling, and you'll live through unpleasant moments - but it's so much easier to handle that, and to keep it in perspective, when you're taking care of patients and investigating a case or a topic hands-on. It's thrilling and rewarding, and you once again realize how privileged you are to be involved so intimately in another person's care. I think that a significant sign of the difference is the fact that at the end of the day, despite how exhausted I am, I'm excited about learning more. Even after 24-hour call on OB, when every muscle in my body aches, I find myself reaching toward a medical journal to read about x-y-z condition that I'd heard about on the wards - out of curiosity and interest as much as anything else (although I definitely take a nap first before grabbing the journal 🙂 ). The intellectual challenge and intricacy of contemplating a difficult case, weighing the options, and deciding upon an appropriate treatment is so much more stimulating than any bubble sheet you'll ever see in the preclinical years. Take heart, it gets much, much better!

In the meantime, to get you through the next couple of years, I'd definitely agree with the suggestions above. Try to seek out a volunteering/ internship position in clinical medicine to keep you going and to remind you of the rewards of your chosen career. I started a volunteering program in peds onc my first year, and it was the one thing that kept me focused and motivated. Also try to maintain your outside interests as best as you can - continue to be involved in the things that you love and that make you whole. Re: classes - you definitely do NOT have to attend every class. Especially if you find yourself feeling smothered, take the time that would be spent starting glazed-eyed in lecture to buckle down and read. This will free up your time to give you a greater sense of balance and sanity. With anatomy, however, although every school's curriculum varies, I'd recommend at least attending the lab, or going to the lab after hours to learn the material. Anatomy can be difficult to muddle through on multiple levels, but dissection really is an excellent learning technique, and even when you don't remember the ins and outs of every tiny particular nerve, a couple of years later in surgery you'll be grateful for how well the basics stuck via lab.

Don't be disheartened if you're finding the two years frustrating & less than stimulating. Think of the preclinicals as a hurdle you have to jump over - a grunt-work means to an end - before you can begin practicing medicine more directly. The first two years are NOT representative of medicine itself. Of course, if you volunteer/ shadow on the wards and don't find yourself interested in anything you see - then you may want to reconsider the field. But as far as courses go, a lecture on intestinal bacteria is not the do-all end-all of medicine.

Good luck! 🙂

 

[Hoo\/er]

just wait until 3rd year -- then you'll KNOW it's a big mistake.

I saw this post by doc05 and I totally agree. I had similar thoughts during the first and second years but, holy $hit, when I got to my 3rd year I KNEW I had made a big mistake. If you're not sure about medicine, try this:

1. Go to the L&D ward at some inner city hospital that takes care of the indigent population (most medical schools qualify for this).

2. Explain that you're a medical student and want to "get a feel for the wards." Also, tell them that you wish to assist and/or scrub in if possible.

3. Do a 12-14 hour shift of taking care of dirty, smelly, drunk, high, HIV+, Hep C+, IV drug users that like to spit out babies at an average of one per year and always refuse to sign the BTL consent. Keep in mind that most of these patients do not have a job and cannot pay for medical care -- most have no desire to pay for medical care. Also, keep in mind that most of these new "moms" have no desire to support their new children (that is, if DEFACS doesn't take them away) and won't even think of getting a job to do this.

4. Based on these experiences, you'll know more about yourself in general and you'll know a lot more about whether or not medicine is for you.

I had always questioned whether or not medicine was for me. I slowly began to realize that I didn't like to see patients. I stuck it out to the 3rd year where I completed my peds rotation and some of my OB/GYN rotation. After just a week on the L&D floor I witnessed two residents who were sprayed while delivering a baby to an HIV+ mom. They are now on anti-retroviral prophylaxis. Also, while in the clinic I saw numerous patients who were cocaine+, amphetamine+, THC+, heroin+, and alcohol+ on the same urine drug screen on their very first prenatal visit at an EGA of 36 weeks. After some questioning and looking up previous labs, many of these patients were HIV+ and/or Hep C+ and I was supposed to do the pelvic exam on these women. I completely understand the risk of transmission, but I personally didn't feel comfortable sticking my hands inside any of these patients. In fact, I didn't really want to touch them at all.

After A LOT of thinking and soul-searching I decided to take a year off yesterday. It felt really good to walk out in the middle of a 36 hour call shift. I still have the option of coming back next year, so nothing lost and nothing gained. I just need a break. I've heard all about those specialties where no patient contact is required -- I'm not interested as it's not where my heart is. My heart is in the business world, particularly finance and the equity markets and I hope to pursue that in the coming year. Yeah, I made a mistake by coming to medical school, but I have a lot more information to make a decision than I did two years ago. Live and learn.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

 

[automaton]

if you are bored then i suggest you find some sort of side game to entertain yourself. like trying to get 100% on every exam or seeing how fast you can read robbins cover to cover. or maybe prostitutes.

 

[azzarah]

I was also a chem major in college and I thought anatomy sucked. I think I was seriously depressed during anatomy. I couldn't go to class and I was crying everyday...I was pretty much ready to quit med school.
I fell in love with physiology, neuroanatomy, and epidemiology and public health stuff....those classes were held in our nice lecture hall and were much more logical and not as much memorization. Hang in there and don't be afraid to ask for help if you are having a hard time.

 

[medtechv79]

oh, that sounds like me last year!! except i did quit med school 😉

but oh well.

brute-force memorization truly does something evil to the soul!
i think until last year, i had gotten by in life with the absolute bare minimum of memorization. . . i like to study to 'get the big picture' and then figure it out as i go on tests. that SO does not work in anatomy.

oh well, i'm back and my soul seems somewhat more resilient.

So did u return to medical school? If u did, I'm glad u decided to bear with it!

 

[medtechv79]

no pun intended 🙂

 

[Mirror Form]

I'm in medical school now. I like the location. I like where I'm living. I like the people at the medical school. I like all the typical lifestyle stuff.

But there's one thing that I just don't have much enthusiasm for, and that's the academics, the whole reason that I'm going to med school.

When I was touring the anatomy lab on Friday, all I could think of was, "I need to figure out a way to skip this class." I was very ashamed to think that, because I've never had those kinds of thoughts enter my head before.

Just looking at the anatomy book with pictures and drawings of people cut up on the inside makes me feel sick. And looking to the future with embryology, pharmacology, and whatever else isn't stirring up much interest for me either.

I majored in chemistry in college, and I've always liked biology. I thought I would like the medical academics but I'm just not feeling the enthusiasm or desire to learn for it. I could use some advice.

FYI: MSI and MSII years aren't supposed to be fun! Nobody goes into medicine so they can sit around studying 24/7 (I hope). If you really enjoy your preclinical years, there's probably something wrong with you.

 

[georgebush44]

Mod Note: This is the official MI thread for complaints about coursework. Please use this thread for future complaints about workload.

 

[ironey]

FYI: MSI and MSII years aren't supposed to be fun! Nobody goes into medicine so they can sit around studying 24/7 (I hope). If you really enjoy your preclinical years, there's probably something wrong with you.

I don't know anyone who goes into medicine because they like sitting on their a**es in libraries cramming facts. Unfortunately, the first two years of med school are a necessary evil that you've got to be sure are worth the pain.

So, how good of a grasp do you have on what doctors actually do? In reality (unless you go into pathology), first year may be the only time you ever have to work with dead bodies. Are you informed enough to make the decision that being a doctor isn't worth your current boredom?

On other topics: from personal experience and talking to classmates, the transition to medical school is difficult for many people. In my first term, I found myself 3000 miles from family, friends, and boyfriend. I cried at the drop of a hat for two months. I was dealing with more academic pressure than I'd ever experienced and for the first time in my life, good test scores weren't a foregone conclusion. I felt sick as I sawed through the rib cage of our cadaver and bits of bone, muscle and other dead matter flew through the air. I KNOW that I'm not the only one who had this kind of experience. It's not fun getting hit with bits of malodorous airborn debris. It's not fun having to study all the time. It's not fun losing confidence because you're having trouble learning an atrocious amount of information in too little time.

But what is fun? You've got to find something positive in or out of school to balance your negative experiences.

 

[automaton]

If you really enjoy your preclinical years, there's probably something wrong with you.

i can't agree with this more.

 

[Trisomy13]

When I was touring the anatomy lab on Friday, all I could think of was, "I need to figure out a way to skip this class." QUOTE]


Ideally you should figure out a way to skip all of your classes and still pass. Study at home, or in the park when the weather is nice. Enjoy the flexible schedule while you still can. focus on something else. some other hobby like running or whatever it is you do, and schedule studying around that. if you stay happy the academics fall in line.




Stick with it for the four years. It's not uncommon for students in their fourth year to stand back and think "i'm not sure this is what i want to do with my life", but even at that point you still have the MD degree to bring to the table when you are bargaining your salary at any other position. hate patients? try a cush job at a pharm company overseeing clinical trial$. this is but one example.

 

[StudentX]

just wait until 3rd year -- then you'll KNOW it's a big mistake.

Yeah, I feel an impending sense of realizing that this is all a big mistake for me. I keep telling myself "Don't quit -- SOMEWHERE DOWN THE LINE I'll regain my passion, or at least recover some of it, and find some semblance of a niche in medicine." But how long can I possibly hold out and when is it time to pack my bags?

As a 2nd year, I can't see myself slogging through more than half my 3rd year waiting for inspiration. During my preclinical preceptorships, I've felt a thrill for medicine maybe 10% of the time. The rest of the time is just enduring it -- god I have to interview this guy? god I'm not clicking with this attending, or they're not approving of me? crap this classmate is one-upping me without trying. gotta get through this dumb SOAP note and A and P, or this stupid research article presentation for PBL.

And after 5+ years of abuse (clinical yrs + residency) I have to get through unpleasant, demanding people complaining to me all the time and who are on the lookout for a shot at a malpractice suit. That's my image of my future career as it is.

So if that's my attitude, then I'm screwed.

The only reason to stay in is to pay back Sallie Mae and Co.

Btw, I'm so jealous of all those out there who've "found their passion" or "worked hard all their lives overcoming incredible odds, a sob story in life, to come out at the top, finally in med school achieving their utmost dreams...etc etc".

I WANT to be someone who enjoys medicine. Maybe in the next lifetime.

 

[ShyRem]

have to get through unpleasant, demanding people complaining to me all the time

Not if you go into pathology. In fact, that's one of the reasons people go into path - dead people don't complain, and they're very patient.

 

[StudentX]

Not if you go into pathology. In fact, that's one of the reasons people go into path - dead people don't complain, and they're very patient.

Yeah true. Funny I was just thinking about path in lecture today, and the prof happened to also mention a fellowship or something for med students interested in path. hmm....

thanks. are you in path now?

----

Yesterday in patient-doctor I was sitting there while people were trying to generate a differnetial diagnosis and A and P for a "patient" with multiple complaints. It was a list of like 10 drugs and 5 conditions...which I know is a pretty light case relatively speaking. But hearing that we had to be able to go in, get out, and come up with a coherent history and physical, SOAP, and presentation for such a complicated case ran chills down my spine, and a sense of fear and disgust. The wards seem to me like a prison, where you do get released periodically, but have to come back in. Anyone else?

 

[don juan]

I'm in medical school now. I like the location. I like where I'm living. I like the people at the medical school. I like all the typical lifestyle stuff.

But there's one thing that I just don't have much enthusiasm for, and that's the academics, the whole reason that I'm going to med school.

When I was touring the anatomy lab on Friday, all I could think of was, "I need to figure out a way to skip this class." I was very ashamed to think that, because I've never had those kinds of thoughts enter my head before.

Just looking at the anatomy book with pictures and drawings of people cut up on the inside makes me feel sick. And looking to the future with embryology, pharmacology, and whatever else isn't stirring up much interest for me either.

I majored in chemistry in college, and I've always liked biology. I thought I would like the medical academics but I'm just not feeling the enthusiasm or desire to learn for it. I could use some advice.

It sounds to me like you may be experiencing burnout. Take a year or two off before med school to recharge.

 

[libbyruth]

Hi Garuda! I know this is a really old thread, but I was just wondering...did you stick it out with med school? How are things going now?

I'm in medical school now. I like the location. I like where I'm living. I like the people at the medical school. I like all the typical lifestyle stuff.

But there's one thing that I just don't have much enthusiasm for, and that's the academics, the whole reason that I'm going to med school.

When I was touring the anatomy lab on Friday, all I could think of was, "I need to figure out a way to skip this class." I was very ashamed to think that, because I've never had those kinds of thoughts enter my head before.

Just looking at the anatomy book with pictures and drawings of people cut up on the inside makes me feel sick. And looking to the future with embryology, pharmacology, and whatever else isn't stirring up much interest for me either.

I majored in chemistry in college, and I've always liked biology. I thought I would like the medical academics but I'm just not feeling the enthusiasm or desire to learn for it. I could use some advice.

 

[bigdan]

Me thinks Garuda was banned, unless he/she is back with another name.

dc

 

[Gumshoe]

There is no such thing as patient contact. I'm in the crowd of people also that found that from beginning to end 3rd year blows like nothing you've ever done. I guess it is cool to learn about treatment/management and mature in the way you think about medicine ... but that comes at a steep, steep price.

My point of view is that medicine has devolved into a business market like all the rest, and that affects patient care. Doctors and teams stretched thin. Litigious society chomping at the bit. Secularized/depersonalized doctors that just present the facts to a patient who is seeking advice. See a patient in 7 minutes? Do a physical exam? I found out in my first 2 weeks of IM that the PE is a joke, like most of 3rd year. I wish I could believe my classmates when they tell me that they love clinical medicine. I don't see how it's possible. Over time I imagine it might get bearable as you master it (as a surgeon?) ... but it's all about algorithms which is boring as hell. I just saw a lecture today on controlling diabetes. God Bless the people that like doing that.

My rant is now coming to a close. I never envisioned medicine as being this way, this isn't what I signed up for. But how could I know? It's the ultimate trap job. And it turns out that although there are a lot of special people out there that really do provide great care, being a doctor is a job. I hated having to come to that realization - it's so sad.

I plan on doing philanthropic things to help my fellow man. Perhaps that's what the good Lord has in store for me. If you're wondering what I'm pointing to, I'm not going to bail, but probably Rads as a final destination. I guess we all have different expectations/personalities ... so there's no harm in not liking clinical medicine ... but I expected more of myself for some reason.

My best wishes to all of you searching - be sleuthful

Gshoe

 

[zenobia]

it's good to see that there are other ppl out there who feel like i do... i honestly am not enjoying med school at all, but what's even worse is that i don't think i really enjoy my experiences in the wards either. people always say it gets better... i'm in my second year, and yea trying to motivate yourself to start studying for boards sucks when you are even questioning why you came into this whole mess to begin with. i was never really a science person to begin with... i was always into the arts... so i wonder to myself why i'm even here sometimes. sure i used to like taking care of ppl, and being able to travel anywhere in the world to help ppl was my main motivation for coming into this. but now i find that the system has broken me down, and i see a whole lot of cons to this profession that i never saw before. i hate that ppl always tell me that it'll get better it'll get better... is there really a light at the end of this tunnel? life is too short to be unhappy, but i feel i'm too invested now to completely throw in the towel. if i go thru it and get my M.D., can i choose to pursue an "alternative" career path... then is it really worth it? just questions i ask myself...

 

[MD Rapper]

x

 

[humuhumu]

echoing some fine sentiments above....

do you like waking up at 4:45 in the morn for 5:15 pre-rounds 5:45 work rounds, 6:10 attending rounds, and then lugging your self around for the next 15 hours till 8:00+?

do you have it in you to memorize just heaps upon heaps of factoids for the national boards? if you think the brachial plexus is difficult (i did, when i first saw that thing!!!), just wait until second year and third year.... man does it get worse!

are you ready for growing thick skin for non-constructive criticism and backward rules and ogre personalities? are you ready to change that inequalities someday and not, in the meantime, get beat down by the SYSTEM?

do you mind taking the time to simply play and laugh with the kid dying from a wilms tumor with mets to everywhere; can you do this in the face of having learned fairly deeply about the disease, the management issues, the family issues, and knowing and what's in store for him? he's your patient. are you going to disengage yourself or are you going to remain involved?

the point is, you have to be able to suck it up, be strong(!) mentally and physically, and yet preservere to maintain that sense of emotional well-being in yourself and that sincere interest in communicating with people who are sick, sometimes very sick.

********
indeed, you could make the first two years a sort of "game" or self-competition.... the rules being: can you learn the stuff, and also maintain well-being. Can you at the same time milk the system (go to class only when you really have to/want to) and also focus on what is clinically useful.

Can you teach yourself to have fun finding ways to teach YOURSELF and others?

i guess, that's what it's about.... it's about finding enjoyment in teaching yourself: teaching yourself the medical facts, teaching yourself how to have self-discipline to at the same time study, enjoy life, and withstand the grossness of human disease and blood and guts and pus and mucus;

teach yourself how to be emotionally healthy and physically tough during these stressful 7+ years; teach yourself how to get along with all sorts of people from all walks of life... teach yourself to appreciate the important things in life, while GETTING WORK DONE!

aye, that's the trick!


good luck! you can do it!

I really like this perspective, even after realizing that it was written over a year and a half ago.

I feel very confident that I can do well in medical school. HOWEVER, I'm not confident that I can do well AND achieve balance in my life, i.e. have a reasonable amount of quality time with wife and kids, exercise regularly, do something for fun every now and then.

So that is my personal challenge: do well in medical school while keeping the family together and happy and maintaining my mental and physical health. I think that's possible but not without rigorous time management, support from family and friends, and a little luck.

 

[OSUdoc08]

I'm in medical school now. I like the location. I like where I'm living. I like the people at the medical school. I like all the typical lifestyle stuff.

But there's one thing that I just don't have much enthusiasm for, and that's the academics, the whole reason that I'm going to med school.

When I was touring the anatomy lab on Friday, all I could think of was, "I need to figure out a way to skip this class." I was very ashamed to think that, because I've never had those kinds of thoughts enter my head before.

Just looking at the anatomy book with pictures and drawings of people cut up on the inside makes me feel sick. And looking to the future with embryology, pharmacology, and whatever else isn't stirring up much interest for me either.

I majored in chemistry in college, and I've always liked biology. I thought I would like the medical academics but I'm just not feeling the enthusiasm or desire to learn for it. I could use some advice.

Guess what, buddy?

I hated anatomy and always skipped class.

During your second year there is no anatomy. I never went to class then either.

2 more months of class, and I'll never have it again. I start clinicals in July.

Get through 2 years, and you won't have to deal with it again.

 

[tupac_don]

Yeah true. Funny I was just thinking about path in lecture today, and the prof happened to also mention a fellowship or something for med students interested in path. hmm....

thanks. are you in path now?

----

Yesterday in patient-doctor I was sitting there while people were trying to generate a differnetial diagnosis and A and P for a "patient" with multiple complaints. It was a list of like 10 drugs and 5 conditions...which I know is a pretty light case relatively speaking. But hearing that we had to be able to go in, get out, and come up with a coherent history and physical, SOAP, and presentation for such a complicated case ran chills down my spine, and a sense of fear and disgust. The wards seem to me like a prison, where you do get released periodically, but have to come back in. Anyone else?

10 drugs 5 conditions, that's relatively simple. Some real complicated patients you are talking 10+ problems, and on every drug known to man.

 

[PhillyGuy]

just wait until 3rd year -- then you'll KNOW it's a big mistake.

Totally agree. I think for a lot of people it will get better. You will finally get to do stuff and feel like you are a part of the team once you start your rotations, but for some people, it really hits them that this is the wrong decision. I actually just had a conversation yesterday with one of my classmates who feels exactly that way. But I think the good thing is that there are plenty of specialties to choose from depending on what you like and don't like about medicine.

 

[Gumshoe]

It's crazy to see some people so unsure about becoming a doctor... It's interesting because it seems like the admissions process rewards those who are the most persistent. I'm not saying that you guys bad people for feeling the way y'all do, but there are many many people who are dying to get into medical school (I was one of them for so many years).

I guess what I'm saying is that it's amazing how some people can want to get in so badly and not reach their goal, while others are in medical school feeling like they may not want to continue. It almost makes me feel like everyone entering medicine should have to struggle significantly through undergrad and put their will to the test to make sure that they are making the right decision. I'm sure a lot of you straight-shooter academic types never really had to sit down and contemplate your career choice to the extent that many non-trad/semi-trad students did.

MD Rapper, what year are you? It seems like you are an M1 or M2, because until you get to 3rd year, you HAVE NO IDEA whether it was the right decision. That's the catch. Do you understand this?

How can you "make the right decision" when the system is something that you know NOTHING about? You seem to blanket people who don't know what they bargained for as lacking insight ... but the fact is that NO ONE knows what it's like to be in medicine UNTIL 3rd year. And most of it blows. It's gotta get better ...

gs