Is it normal to have serious doubts if you made a big mistake going to med school?

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drducky.

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I just started few weeks ago. The loneliness is really starting to set in as I sit for hours in the library every night. I was so excited to start med school, but then I see my high school/college peers move on with your lives, get actual jobs, start a family, have kids, go on vacations, etc. I don't have any of that.

I sometimes ask myself, is this really worth the next 7 years of my life?

If the devil offers someone a fulfilling job and a nicer car/house in exchange for SEVEN prime years of their youth, what kind of idiot actually takes that offer? I'm starting to feel like that idiot.
 
It's really tough and it's not for everyone. That is to say, if you're a social butterfly, like to hang out, be spontaneous, and go out at night, medical school is going to royally suck. And if you're not that person, but want to become that person, even worse, because the longer you're in it the less likely you'll be able to. Now if you're 21 and went straight from college, you'll be fine. If you're 26 then.....eeeeeek. Also, are you single? male/female, etc. A lot of factors at play. Have fun 🙂
 
I was a non trad so had less of this. All my college and high school friends hated or quit their first real jobs, had all kinds of family drama, and were basically past that whole real world honeymoon phase. Leaving the rat race to focus on a new path was actually rather cathartic.

So yes, totally normal to feel the grass is greener. Also totally normal for that grass to brown over the next few years.
 
drducky. said:
I just started few weeks ago. The loneliness is really starting to set in as I sit for hours in the library every night. I was so excited to start med school, but then I see my high school/college peers move on with your lives, get actual jobs, start a family, have kids, go on vacations, etc. I don't have any of that.

I sometimes ask myself, is this really worth the next 7 years of my life?

If the devil offers someone a fulfilling job and a nicer car/house in exchange for SEVEN prime years of their youth, what kind of idiot actually takes that offer? I'm starting to feel like that idiot.
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The time in med school and residency isn't lost if you prioritize your social life in a manner that allows you to enjoy yourself while also training. I've had some of the best times in my life during training
 
Mad Jack said:
I'm a second year resident and feel it was a mistake in many ways, but I would have been less happy having not made it due to all the "what ifs."
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Yep, absolutely.
Which is why deciding on a specialty has been so hard for me.
 
Thesimplelifeofamyloid said:
Also, no one ever talks about this, but the level of financial support you have will shape your view and mood of medical school. Someone who has everything paid for is likely going to have a better time versus someone who is living entirely on loans
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Very true. The loan burden scares me a lot.
 
drducky. said:
I just started few weeks ago. The loneliness is really starting to set in as I sit for hours in the library every night. I was so excited to start med school, but then I see my high school/college peers move on with your lives, get actual jobs, start a family, have kids, go on vacations, etc. I don't have any of that.

I sometimes ask myself, is this really worth the next 7 years of my life?

If the devil offers someone a fulfilling job and a nicer car/house in exchange for SEVEN prime years of their youth, what kind of idiot actually takes that offer? I'm starting to feel like that idiot.
Click to expand...
All new endeavors are fraught with anxiety.

You worked for this; do not take counsel of your fears.
 
haha, this is a brilliant question. As stated above, it'd be more worrisome if you didn't have these thoughts. I can't count the days that I thought of dropping out and actually sailing around the world, traveling, and enjoying life.
 
You’re sorely mistaken if you think everyone in their 20s and 30s is running around going on vacations every other week and having a gay old time. It’s called getting old and having responsibilies which includes working, usually > 40 hours a week.

Also, med school does not preclude someone from starting a family, going out (if that’s your thing), and having hobbies
 
spartan25 said:
Also, med school does not preclude someone from starting a family, going out (if that’s your thing), and having hobbies
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People say this, but doing these things 3rd year felt nigh impossible. I'd imagine many residency programs also make these things more difficult to do. Can one really start a family, go out regularly, and have hobbies while doing, say, IM residency?
 
redsox93 said:
I’m a 3rd year and I think this at least once a day so I think you’re good
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Ho0v-man said:
Every

Single

Day

Third year here.
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I’m so glad I’m not alone in this. At least once a day I’m like, “why the **** am I doing this.”

And then the attending has me do something like being the one to cardiovert a patient out of A-Fib with the defibrillator and I remember that someday it might just turn out completely worth it. But right now it’s just terrible lol.
 
AnatomyGrey12 said:
I’m so glad I’m not alone in this. At least once a day I’m like, “why the **** am I doing this.”

And then the attending has me do something like being the one to cardiovert a patient out of A-Fib with the defibrillator and I remember that someday it might just turn out completely worth it. But right now it’s just terrible lol.
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haha agreed third year definitely had its upsides but most of the time I’m just wishing I could be home studying
 
I did at every pivotal point in medical education. 1st couple weeks, several weeks leading up to step 1, beginning 3rd year, leading up to match day, first day of residency. I still made the correct decision. Also ask yourself what else would you be doing? realistically. If like most 20s, you’d be struggling with your career and adapting to adulthood. At least with this career you won’t always struggle, especially financially. You’ve got a ticket to a secured job with a good income
 
Let's be real though, most med students didn't have a Plan B of selling ice cream cones on the beach and going out every night. If we weren't giving our 20s to medicine, most would be giving their 20s to law school, or STEM PhDs, or consulting, not living the bohemian life you see on some peoples' social media
 
It’s easy to have rose-colored glasses about what we would be doing if not in Med school, but in reality it is a fantastic opportunity that many would kill for. The process sucks real bad.

I walked away from a great career to attend, so of course I question if I made the right decision (or if I should still drop out and sleep through an online NP program and wind up with essentially the same job), but ultimately you can’t get the same education or feeling of satisfaction anywhere else.

Keep up the grind and remember there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Just remember to drink a beer and watch some Netflix along the way.
 
Most med students I talk to at my school tell me they loved med school and have more free time M1 than they did in UG.

I'm assuming there is just a very steep learning curve, you'll get through it. Really try to focus on being more efficient (what I'm currently trying to do rn as well).
 
THEBACKANDFORTH said:
Hah they just say that to sound cool for the M1s
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I feel like once I figured out how to study efficiently 1st year I had a decent amount of free time. And you don’t have to worry about work and extracurriculars. I probably had more free time than I did during junior and senior year of college. But step studying and third year you definitely don’t have as much free time
 
What still keep me in residency as a PGY2 are these Masserati and Porch that I see in my hospital physicians' parking lot. You are not alone, my friend.
 
I have a countdown app on my phone that says “Dr. Pagingdoctormom” with my graduation date. Easy reminder that this too shall pass.
 
Gilakend said:
Most med students I talk to at my school tell me they loved med school and have more free time M1 than they did in UG.
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I think something that needs to be stated is that this gets said a lot on SDN, but the truth is that it varies wildly based on the school and life circumstances.

Not every school is the same. Not every student is the same.
I think more than anything, your perspective is impacted based on how hard you've worked in life prior to medical school. The kids who I see struggling the most are the ones who weren't juggling full time work and premed/MCAT studies before acceptance. Medical school should be the only major project you're involved with, so that can help you focus a lot better vs. undergrad where you are being pulled in a million different directions. In that way, medical school has been refreshing because I can finally *focus* on one thing.

That doesn't mean medical school is *easier* or less time consuming, and as I already stated: This is VERY dependent on the school you go to. M-F mandatory lecture schools will have a very different quality of life than a school wherein you can podcast. Similarly, some students simply need fewer hours of study to do well.

The best thing you can do is to talk to a variety of folks who attend a school, but recognize that your sample may be biased.

For example, folks posting on SDN are likely on here because they have more free time than the people who are currently weeping and cramming. When polled, they may rate their curriculum different than the people who aren't posters. On here, everybody on the Step 1 threads seem to score >240, when the national average is lower, so we know that isn't everyone's experience. Just things to keep in mind!
 
For me it was 10 years- 4 med school, 5 residency, 1 fellowship. It is normal to question your commitment when you are playing the long game… You just have to realize that this is a marathon, and burnout is very common. Try to focus on the things that made you excited about medicine in the first place.
 
PGY-1 here, and I remember those days vividly. M1 was probably the worst for me, but until I had that diploma in my hand it all felt like it was the worst mistake of my life. The thing I wasn't prepared for was the indescribable loneliness. I never before had been in a situation like that where I was surrounded by people but felt so alone. It's very possible I had depression on and off throughout.

The good news is I'm very happy with where I'm at now and I'm starting to come around to the idea that maybe it was worth it after all. Keep your chin up, it will get better. And if I can make it, literally anyone else can too.
 
Yes it is. Hang in there! Unless you have some very very rare opportunity like a startup becomes a unicorn or something like that, you're better off in medicine.
 
Medical school pretty much sucked, especially the pre-clinical curriculum. Residency was worlds better in my opinion. Independent practice is even better.

During M2, I questioned what I was doing and whether this was worth it probably on a weekly basis. I think most people that I know had similar thoughts at some point during their medical school experience. Medical school - especially the pre-clinical experience - is very different from actual clinical practice. Even the clerkships are very different than what you will be doing in residency and as a physician. It's important to remember that... in the big scheme of things, medical school is a very, very small and unusual part of your whole career. It's a necessary part of the process but it is not at all indicative of what being a physician is about.
 
drducky. said:
I just started few weeks ago. The loneliness is really starting to set in as I sit for hours in the library every night. I was so excited to start med school, but then I see my high school/college peers move on with your lives, get actual jobs, start a family, have kids, go on vacations, etc. I don't have any of that.

I sometimes ask myself, is this really worth the next 7 years of my life?

If the devil offers someone a fulfilling job and a nicer car/house in exchange for SEVEN prime years of their youth, what kind of idiot actually takes that offer? I'm starting to feel like that idiot.
Click to expand...
I used to feel that way till I finished med school and residency and looked back. Ya a lot of people I knew enjoyed their twenties, went on vacations and bought stuff while I was studying and was living a students life... now the roles have changed. Those people are in debt up to their eye balls and live pay check to pay check... while, I have a good paying job, do something that I love and can go take a vacation without a budget. Just remember, everyone starts the race at some point and people who started earlier than you don't always finish on top.
 
I mean yeah it's trading away some of your prime years but the end result is probably worth it. What else would you be doing during this time? Traveling the world? With what money? I would take that trade from the financial security aspect alone.

Besides the other more down to earth things you can still do while in medical school/residency albeit within reason: partying, dating, hanging with family/friends, video games, movies
 
Grass is always greener is only partially true - it generally sucks everywhere unless you have time to put into watering and maintaining it (ie. having time to do exactly what you want to be doing, be it work or leisure). Since I don’t foresee my job offering that type of full satisfaction, I intend to get through residency and then work part time leaving more time for the well manicured grass of the finest golf courses and vacation resorts.
 
I’m so happy I’m in medical school, it’s hard but the impact I will make on others lives and the barriers I’ll break in my own family is worth every bit of it.
 
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