IDK, I am not talking in any kind of absolutes. Just my perspective, and I am certain it will be different than some others. It just seems to me that if a couple is truly committed for the long haul, why not just get married? Big weddings are nice, but they are 6 hours or so of your life, with a lot of money attached to those 6 hours. The whole wedding planning, catering-using, venue-finding thing is just a big money maker for those that work in it. I am not against big weddings. It's just that there is so much foo foo emphasis on them. One can make vows in marriage, which, for someone like me, are more about a spiritual union/promise/covenant than anything else. The legal aspects of unions are one thing. The marriage part is a more spiritual thing--call it religious if you would like, although for someone like me, that falls kind of short of things.
Sure people can get contracts, just like they can get prenups. But for some folks like me, people are either committed with a unified, spiritual promise or they aren't. Yes. I know things happen, and even the seemingly best of couples could end up in divorce. But if the commitment for a lifetime is really there, then make it. Otherwise, people are just talking about entering into a business contract. And yes, I know that is how some see marriage anyway--and how the law sees marriage. But I think marriage is something a LOT more than a business contract.
So, if I were the person's significant other, I'd have doubts about a relationship that enters into merely a business contract. Sure, it could protect her. And that is an important consideration. But to me, if people are willing to live as married, refer to their SO as "spouse," and are willing to construct a business agreement, something seems missing to me (and again, this is JUST from my perspective, so I am not speaking in absolutes for anyone), if the persons don't just go ahead and make the whole commitment. I don't want to offend anyone. I am just giving a perspective that I don't necessarily think I'm alone in having. If I am important enough to live with, give my life and time with, help support you, etc, why defer the ultimate commitment? Would it be just to have a big wedding? I mean, what is the hold up with that? Certainly do as you want and as you think best, but it's rolling around in my mind, and I am sure perhaps at least a few other peoples' minds. But the other thing is, this kind of discussion would certainly help to get a stronger idea about where the two people really stand, in terms of the long haul and commitment of marriage. Admittedly, I am one of those people that sees marriage as one sees pregnancy. You are or you are not. You aren't merely a little bit pregnant. You are or you are not. Likewise, people cannot be a little bit married. They are or they are not.
