Is Your Significant Other Effecting Where You Go To Med School?

[DeterminedMD]

---

Members do not see this ad.

I'm sorry to be anal, but can we just clear this up...? It should be AFFECTING, not EFFECTING.

hate to admit it...but when i first saw the thread i thought the same thing 😳

 

[jdovez]

Its a tough call, but if you love them then its worth a shot no? If logistically it is too difficult, then that tells you how committed all parties are to the relationship. I am in the same position, but luckily my girlfriend is very understanding and willing to accompany me. But, as such, in choosing a medical school, I will now take her considerations into account. This makes the choice of a suitable med school and city a challenge for the BOTH of us. Good luck to you!

I am the girlfriend. I would follow my man anywhere, he is that wonderful. Also, I teach elementary and there are jobs all over. We agreed to try for schools in our area, but if that doesn't work out...it is off on an adventure together. If the person with is worth enough to you...you will work it out together. Then again, my boyfriend and I were long distance for a year. It was tough but the emails kept us connected. Good luck.

 

[Psycho Doctor]

Last year my girlfriend asked me the following question: "If you got into UConn med school, would you go there?" I answered, "yes," and then she punched me in the face and gave me a black eye. Needless to say, she was crazy and the relationship came to an abrupt end. I don't know why it was such a shock to her - I am from CT and she knows that UConn has always been my #1 choice. All she wants to do is teach elementary school and there are plenty of those jobs up in CT I'm sure. Anyway, as if the punch to the face wasn't enough, she called on the cops on me one night at 4am and told them that I stole her TV (this was obviously not the case) after I broke up with her. She also told all of our mutual friends from college that I was abusive during our relationship - give me a break. Sounds like a great girl, right? Bottom line - I officially don't trust women right now and there is no way I would ever move just to be with someone right now. On the flipside, I wouldn't expect someone to move with me wherever I go.

whoa, buddy, that sounds brutal...so sorry 🙁

 

[Psycho Doctor]

🙄 Don't correct someone's grammar if you don't understand it completely either. They're both nouns, and they're both verbs.

The effect of the decision was that it affected the affect that he was trying to effect.

Affect - verb - to influence
Affect - noun - more or less like demeanor
Effect - noun - result
Effect - verb - to bring about a result

👍 👍 👍 👍

 

[Psycho Doctor]

One from the other side of things:

My girlfriend is the one who will be applying to medical schools. It has never really even been a question of whether I will move to be with her or not. I love her and can't imagine being without her...of course I will do whatever it takes to be with her. No medical schools where I'm at, so I will be moving out of state. Yeah, it'll be a hassle and tough to find a new job and of course there are risks in doing so, but ultimately, its well worth the effort.

I'm sure she'll take into account the type of place I'd want to live in if those options are available, but in the end, it's her decision and I will support her whatever she chooses to do as best I can.

so you're not in med school, or applying..why are you on this board? checking things out for her? and you sound like a generous caring guy 👍

 

[Psycho Doctor]

I'm in the same position, except with New York. The way I see it, though, is that you shouldn't do anything that's going to make you bitter in the future. If being in Chicago is going to make you upset for the next four years, you will probably carry some of that resentment into your relationship and then even though you're in the same city, things might be strained anyway. And if you should break up, then you're stuck in a place you don't necessarily want to be.

That said, long distance isn't exactly a picnic either, so there's no perfect solution. If anyone finds one, let me know!! 😉

yea, tell me about it..the long distance thing. it was great when i was going to school in her hometown and she was in hs. Then she went to college and moved away. So when she comes home for vacations, it's when i'm leaving so we could essentially never see each other...but we've tried to split the time between families and each other..it's been tough.

 

[funshine]

hahaha!!

just had to share.

When i first read the title of this thread, i thought it said "Is your significant other Suffering while you go to med school?"

suffering from neglect that is, cuz you're so busy studying

 

[Psycho Doctor]

hahaha!!

just had to share.

When i first read the title of this thread, i thought it said "Is your significant other Suffering while you go to med school?"

suffering from neglect that is, cuz you're so busy studying

and this is only just the beginning.....

 

[wxl31]

i did the LD thing for 3 years while my bf was in med school. for some strange reason, it was harder as time went on. i guess it's b/c we fell more in love. i just can't imagine doing *that* again.

i've been fortunate enough to get into a school close by and it was my first choice more for proximity than anything else. once in a while, i think about going to the other schools that i liked a tad more...it's a confusing time...hopefully, we'll all figure it out by may 15.

at least i know that i found someone super special. so many ppl spend yrs looking for that someone. i think we're all quite lucky. =)

 

[mshheaddoc]

if you want that person in your life, you should consider talking to them about the future. I hope they are fully aware of the magnitude of what is expected of them. That is the only problem with somethings ... if they aren't used to you working all the time then maybe long distance for a while would be good ... depends on your maturity level, their maturity level, if they can find a job there etc. So many variables. If I was accepted to more than one school and I liked the school that was near them, then I might consider, but I will give you one tidbit to remember ... must remember to always do what is BEST FOR YOU. Not to be negative but ... that person might not always be there and you can't be thinking "what if" ... I was in this situation for undergrad ... I picked wisely ... after college ... I didn't pick wisely ... you must always stay true to yourself, you are the one that has to live with it, not them.

 

[CoachMcGuirk]

so you're not in med school, or applying..why are you on this board? checking things out for her? and you sound like a generous caring guy 👍

Yeah, I'm just on here getting info for her from time to time to help make this grueling process a little easier on her...that and relieving boredom at work of course 😉. Stumbled to the forums after searching for one of the many aspect of applying to medical schools. These boards are a great resource, thanks to you all!

 

[ShyRem]

Before my husband and I were married, I was in paramedic school and working full time. He ended up getting a job about 350 miles away... he moved, I didn't. We both decided that it was best if I stayed and he went. We didn't get to see each other much - he was working weekends, I was working weeks and school and clinicals at night. Even phone calls were horrible to time. I remember he drove 5 hours to see me sleep for an hour and a half before I had to go back to work. 🙂

In the end, we got married right on schedule. The time apart gave us reason to reflect on our lives, our relationships, and what we meant to each other. I finished paramedic school and moved to this gawd-awful backwards town where he was - we compromised when I drove 300 miles each way every weekend to work a 48 hr shift in a metro area. It worked and made us really appreciate what we have. Still together 12 years later, and now I'm applying to med school. He said he'll follow me anywhere I end up getting in. 🙂 🙂

My point is, if the relationship is right, it'll last. If it's wrong, better to find out now.

 

[abeanatrice]

I love my boyfriend so much and I want nothing more than to be able to go to med school (md/phd actually) and for him to be able to get a faculty position (he's just getting his phd and despite what everyone seems to be saying, it is possible to get a faculty position right out of grad school, probably just not top 20) at least in the same city. But if it doesn't work, we're not going to spend 7-8 years in a long distance relationship. He's going to want to be on a tenure track and I am going to want to keep my NIH MSTP funding. Yeah, so maybe I have this idealistic hope of this perfect life and marrying him in the next few years, but I am not going to sacrifice my hopes and dreams of being an MD/PhD to follow him, and he's not going to sacrifice his hopes and dreams of making $100k next year and starting off his research career in order to follow me.

But I think the most important thing is to talk about it and be on the same level regarding what your goals are and what you're willing to do to be with the other person. We can't see the future, what if something happens and you break up after moving, wouldn't it suck if you went somewhere you didn't like and that happened? Basically, I think it all works out for the best in the end as long as you work to be happy. There will always be times that suck, but I don't think its logical to move somewhere you are going to be miserable, because that's going to put even strain on your relationship than studying all the time for med school will.

okay, this post is getting too long. Good luck to all those with baggage (just kidding).