Isn't everyone a little borderline when they're in love?

[BobA]

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I've always thought that the "mental illnesses" we see described in the DSM-IV are really just the extremes of things that everyone experiences to one degree or another - sadness (Depression), excitement (mania), dreams (hallucinations), etc.

From that perspective, doesn't everyone in the infatuation stage of a romantic relationship look a little borderline? Don't divorces / break ups seem to bring out the borderline is just about everyone?

I found this thought useful, and worth posting for discussion, because it's helped me to have more empathy for my patients with BPD.

 

[OldPsychDoc]

I've always thought that the "mental illnesses" we see described in the DSM-IV are really just the extremes of things that everyone experiences to one degree or another - sadness (Depression), excitement (mania), dreams (hallucinations), etc.

From that perspective, doesn't everyone in the infatuation stage of a romantic relationship look a little borderline? Don't divorces / break ups seem to bring out the borderline is just about everyone?

I found this thought useful, and worth posting for discussion, because it's helped me to have more empathy for my patients with BPD.

Assuming this isn't a request for personal medical advice...😀

...what I usual tell my patients is "that there's a little bit of borderline inside all of us--and it's more likely to show when we've eroded away our more productive coping techniques."

 

[Genkishi]

I think one of the things ppl miss out when applying the DSM-IV is that half of all its diagnostic categories have specifiers for social impairment.

You can't just label anyone bipolar, manic, borderline etc...there has to be a significant degree of social impairment before we can label "disorder" on these ppl.

Hence, regarding whether ppl are a little borderline when they're in love, i'd say no.

 

[CaptainBluebear]

I think we're talking about traits as opposed to actual disorders. 😉

 

[whopper]

I think we'd all agree that personality disorders are examples of the extremes of spectrums that exist in the human psyche. They are extreme to the point where they are destructive.

Along those lines, yes I do think most of us are a little borderline, especially when we are in love. It's a matter of semantics. I agree with the above opinion of "no" because the PD label should only go with those that actually have the disorder, while I'm saying we all have a little of the spectrums of PD.

And now to make this all about myself 😍 😀
A friend of mine who is a psychologist and I during lunch noticed that I have a justice aspect that is stronger in more people. In fact that's why strong reason why I went into forensic psychiatry. I saw so many patients manipulating their doctors, the doctors even believed they were manipulated, but did not do enough IMHO because they did not know how to objectively gauge their patient's malingering.

We both agreed that if that aspect was much stronger--I'd be a inquisitor/prosecutor type, and not in a good way. However where I am now, he thinks it's a healthy balance (at least I hope it is). He said he never wanted to ever be in a position where as a mental health professional he had to call out someone he evaluated as malingering, while I have no problems doing so, so long as I have enough evidence to back my opinion and I feel confident with it.

 

[Ollie123]

Absolutely. That doesn't mean they are diagnosable, but many people have the characteristics.

The DSM isn't a bible, its been known for years that much of it is arbitrary and that true taxons don't exist for many disorders. That goes double for Axis II, but its true even for many Axis I disorders. Take depression as an example; it doesn't truly exist in the way the DSM conceptualizes it. Certainly, we can agree that a loose cluster of symptoms exist that combine to a depression-like outcome in many people, but there's EXTREMELY little evidence to support the specifics (i.e. whether 4, 5, or 6 symptoms should necessary to meet full criteria). Not to mention the discussion of how it should be separated out from the anxiety spectrum, or whether they are just two sides of the same coin and it shouldn't be separated out at all. Nearly all research points toward depression existing on a continuum and there's nothing magical about having that one extra symptom to meet full criteria for diagnosis, versus sub-syndromal depression.

Don't get me wrong, the structure of the DSM is necessary given the medical/insurance system we all have to work within, I don't think there is any way around that in the immediate future. However, its important to recognize that it just represents the current best attempt at solving a difficult problem. It doesn't reflect the true reality of mental disorders, and probably will not achieve that in any of our lifetimes🙂

 

[dianamd]

I've always thought that the "mental illnesses" we see described in the DSM-IV are really just the extremes of things that everyone experiences to one degree or another - sadness (Depression), excitement (mania), dreams (hallucinations), etc.

From that perspective, doesn't everyone in the infatuation stage of a romantic relationship look a little borderline? Don't divorces / break ups seem to bring out the borderline is just about everyone?

I found this thought useful, and worth posting for discussion, because it's helped me to have more empathy for my patients with BPD.

Haha!! Brilliant! As long as you are in love during the divorce/breakup, so that you fear abandonment, I agree. Hilarious, I'll find a way to fit this in to my patient interactions, thanks!

 

[strangeglove]

There's a difference between personality traits, which are stable characteristics, and temporary ego regression in response to stress. These are also similar in specific ways. This is all addressed by number of psychodynamic theories, the kind that seem to be falling out of favor these days.