Lor from friend of family?

[grindtillgrave]

Hey guys!
Okay so im getting a letter from a physician (DO) that i only shadowed twice. Which makes me skeptical of how much she can say. There is a friend of the family (MD) that has known me since childhood. He already wrote me a letter, i've had discussions with him on medicine etc. He definitely influenced my choice to persue medicine and the letters very good. Would it be okay to use this letter as well? I don't want to get in trouble, or get tossed out because of it. Thanks!

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[Cawolf]

There is nothing to "get in trouble" over unless you coerced your friend into lying about your relationship.

The flip side is that "knowing someone" isn't a useful relationship and the letter is worth less than it weighs.

 

[grindtillgrave]

There is nothing to "get in trouble" over unless you coerced your friend into lying about your relationship.

The flip side is that "knowing someone" isn't a useful relationship and the letter is worth less than it weighs.

So this friend of the family i met at church. In the letter he wrote he "knew me since an infant", but never exactly stated how he knew me. Do you think this in combination with the shadowing letter from DO will be acceptable? Its just that I feel she doesn't know me as well (obviously). Whats your take on this? Thanks for letting me know I wont get in trouble 🙂

 

[Dandine]

@grindtillgrave Did you work or shadow with this family-friend physician at all in a long-term capacity or did you just talk to him? If it's the latter I would definitely NOT recommend getting a letter at all from this person because he wouldn't be able to talk about you from a work-professional viewpoint.

Your DO letter might not be good for MD schools but for DO schools it may be fine even though you didn't know the DO physician as well. Someone please correct me if I'm wrong (@Goro ?), but my understanding was that most DO schools want a letter of rec from a DO physician, and while long-term shadowing is good, the point of DO shadowing is to have shown some investment in understanding DO philosophy more in depth, and the DO rec letter is to show your further interest in that path rather than to talk about your work-setting-professional skills.

 

[Cawolf]

So this friend of the family i met at church. In the letter he wrote he "knew me since an infant", but never exactly stated how he knew me. Do you think this in combination with the shadowing letter from DO will be acceptable? Its just that I feel she doesn't know me as well (obviously). Whats your take on this? Thanks for letting me know I wont get in trouble 🙂

The DO letter is a throw-away to fulfill the requirements of DO schools and a couple of MD schools.

The family-friend letter is at best a waste of letter space and the reviewer's time. This person is not in a position to objectively speak about you.

 

[Goro]

The DO letter is a throw-away to fulfill the requirements of DO schools and a couple of MD schools.

The family-friend letter is at best a waste of letter space and the reviewer's time. This person is not in a position to objectively speak about you.

Strongly disagree with the first paragraph, and strongly agree with the second!

 

[Goro]

The DO letter is a throw-away to fulfill the requirements of DO schools and a couple of MD schools.

The family-friend letter is at best a waste of letter space and the reviewer's time. This person is not in a position to objectively speak about you.

Just to follow up on this....on our Adcom, borderline candidates always provoke the question "Does he have a DO LOR?" from one of the DO faculty. While lacking one is not in and of itself lethal, that lack has so been for people who come from regions that are DO-rich, or very close to DO schools.

So to reiterate, the lack of a DO LOR won't necessarily hurt, but having one always helps.

 

[bannie22]

DO not useful for MD.

Family friend is better. Make sure he weaves it well.

I did not have a MD letter.

 

[crewbar7]

If you use the family friend, make sure it doesn't come out that they are a family friend ...

 

[ADSigMel]

I certainly hope it's not inappropriate to use family friends as references - most of my LORs were written by close friends of mine! My PI and a doctor I shadowed were both people with whom I was friends for years before I decided to apply to medical school.


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[grindtillgrave]

Thanks for you guys' input. Im not applying to DO, only MD.
It sounds like most of you are advising against it. In the letter he never states hes a friend of the family, But just knew me since an infant and is a pediatrician so it could actually be implied that hes treated me. But, he doesnt mention any shadowing in letter. I think im just going to provide both letters to schools who allow more letters, since it cant hurt.