Losing my support system before starting med school

[qmcat]

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All right, so this is going to be kind of a rant, but I would really like anyone's input and advice as well. I know many 2013'ers have lost their significant other in this application process and going through tough times, but I feel like, recently, I've been having to deal with a lot more crap.

Like many of you, my GF left me as well, due to the "long distance" problem of me moving OOS for med school. OK, I tell myself... no biggie, it's happening to a lot of other 2013'ers also.

To add to this, everytime I talk to my parents (especially my mom) they always steer the conversation to "oh you're moving OOS next year and you're going to have to fend for yourself in the blistering cold and snowy weather" (I'm from California btw) and they try to make me feel bad by giving me that attitude where it's like they're never going to see me again because I'm going to die in an avalanche somewhere.

Talking to my dad pisses me off too, since he always gives me housework to do, saying that I won't be around to help around the house in the next 4 years, so he's trying to take advantage of my labor now. I don't mind taking out the trash or washing dishes, since I always do that anyway, but getting home from work today, exhausted and passing out on the couch, and having my dad hand me a vacuum cleaner really made my blood boil.

I just feel like home isn't a happy place for me anymore, since all we ever talk about is how I'm going to be miserable moving away from home. But, inside, I am really itching to move away from home and California. I'm looking to med school as if I'll have the chance to start a new life and put all the drama of my past (girlfriends included) behind me.

Anyone going through a similar thing or any med students/residents/etc who have been through the drama have any input?

 

[plsletmein]

Talking to my dad pisses me off too, since he always gives me housework to do, saying that I won't be around to help around the house in the next 4 years, so he's trying to take advantage of my labor now. I don't mind taking out the trash or washing dishes, since I always do that anyway, but getting home from work today, exhausted and passing out on the couch, and having my dad hand me a vacuum cleaner really made my blood boil.

isn't that a small price to pay for a rent-free place to stay? i'll gladly ask how high if asked to jump in exchange for being able to not have to pay monthly rent

 

[MsKrispyKreme]

What do u look like?

 

[singularity2012]

All right, so this is going to be kind of a rant, but I would really like anyone's input and advice as well. I know many 2013'ers have lost their significant other in this application process and going through tough times, but I feel like, recently, I've been having to deal with a lot more crap.

Like many of you, my GF left me as well, due to the "long distance" problem of me moving OOS for med school. OK, I tell myself... no biggie, it's happening to a lot of other 2013'ers also.

To add to this, everytime I talk to my parents (especially my mom) they always steer the conversation to "oh you're moving OOS next year and you're going to have to fend for yourself in the blistering cold and snowy weather" (I'm from California btw) and they try to make me feel bad by giving me that attitude where it's like they're never going to see me again because I'm going to die in an avalanche somewhere.

Talking to my dad pisses me off too, since he always gives me housework to do, saying that I won't be around to help around the house in the next 4 years, so he's trying to take advantage of my labor now. I don't mind taking out the trash or washing dishes, since I always do that anyway, but getting home from work today, exhausted and passing out on the couch, and having my dad hand me a vacuum cleaner really made my blood boil.

I just feel like home isn't a happy place for me anymore, since all we ever talk about is how I'm going to be miserable moving away from home. But, inside, I am really itching to move away from home and California. I'm looking to med school as if I'll have the chance to start a new life and put all the drama of my past (girlfriends included) behind me.

Anyone going through a similar thing or any med students/residents/etc who have been through the drama have any input?

Sorry about the guilt trip that your parents (and ex-gf) may be putting on you. I've been going through a similar thing, and the passive aggressiveness can get slightly annoying.

I know this is extreme, but sometimes I feel like my parents are playing the whole "so now you're too good for us" game - sort of like they have a bit of resentment for the fact that I'm going to become a doctor. I know they're proud of me and are definitely aware of my utmost modesty, but there seems to be some kind of psychological weirdness going on.

 

[mmmcdowe]

I can feel you on this OP. This is why I'm glad that I left my state for college, everything you described (ex gf, mom bemoaning my loss, father making me rennovate the house, barn, and garage) happened to me. This time around, my parents have four years of not having me around to help cope with me moving to another part of the country again.

 

[qmcat]

isn't that a small price to pay for a rent-free place to stay? i'll gladly ask how high if asked to jump in exchange for being able to not have to pay monthly rent

I know that I owe my parents a lot for getting me to this point in my life, but I just feel that it is unfair that they are using the idea of medical school to nag me to death about moving away from home and not depending on them anymore. In a way, I think that they may feel that they are losing their control over me once I move away, and they are making me feel guilty about it.

What do u look like?

*blush*

Sorry about the guilt trip that your parents (and ex-gf) may be putting on you. I've been going through a similar thing, and the passive aggressiveness can get slightly annoying.

I know this is extreme, but sometimes I feel like my parents are playing the whole "so now you're too good for us" game - sort of like they have a bit of resentment for the fact that I'm going to become a doctor. I know they're proud of me and are definitely aware of my utmost modesty, but there seems to be some kind of psychological weirdness going on.

Yea! Thanks for putting that into words. It's kind of hard to express my frustration, though writing this has been kind of therapeutic.

I can feel you on this OP. This is why I'm glad that I left my state for college, everything you described (ex gf, mom bemoaning my loss, father making me rennovate the house, barn, and garage) happened to me. This time around, my parents have four years of not having me around to help cope with me moving to another part of the country again.

Thanks man. I always wonder how it would have been if I had moved away for college. It just happened that the cheapest college for me was the one 10 min away from home. 😳

 

[hoot504]

I feel like my parents do this to me every time I go home for the weekend, and I only go to school 2 hours away...

 

[chiz2kul]

Like many of you, my GF left me as well, due to the "long distance" problem of me moving OOS for med school. OK, I tell myself... no biggie, it's happening to a lot of other 2013'ers also.

I still dont understand how pple break up just cos of this. They cldn't even try??? Make you question one's committment from the start...

To add to this, everytime I talk to my parents (especially my mom) they always steer the conversation to "oh you're moving OOS next year and you're going to have to fend for yourself in the blistering cold and snowy weather" (I'm from California btw) and they try to make me feel bad by giving me that attitude where it's like they're never going to see me again because I'm going to die in an avalanche somewhere.

Talking to my dad pisses me off too, since he always gives me housework to do, saying that I won't be around to help around the house in the next 4 years, so he's trying to take advantage of my labor now. I don't mind taking out the trash or washing dishes, since I always do that anyway, but getting home from work today, exhausted and passing out on the couch, and having my dad hand me a vacuum cleaner really made my blood boil.

I just feel like home isn't a happy place for me anymore, since all we ever talk about is how I'm going to be miserable moving away from home. But, inside, I am really itching to move away from home and California. I'm looking to med school as if I'll have the chance to start a new life and put all the drama of my past (girlfriends included) behind me.

Anyone going through a similar thing or any med students/residents/etc who have been through the drama have any input?

Dont take it too hard man...a couple months n you'll be outta there (not in a bad way). You try to talk to your family about this? I would...

 

[mmmcdowe]

I still dont understand how pple break up just cos of this. They cldn't even try??? Make you question one's committment from the start...



Dont take it too hard man...a couple months n you'll be outta there (not in a bad way). You try to talk to your family about this? I would...

Tell me about it. My girl is agitating about it right now too.

 

[kac714]

yea i'm totally worried about leaving... my parents are great but i am going to a school in a city i don't know. granted, i did move away for college and that was fine, but i feel like this will be harder.

 

[pianola]

Well, I am keeping the bf but losing the parents.

I don't know quite how I feel about it yet.

 

[0Complications]

What do u look like?

You are always so concerned by how someone looks...



OP, it sounds like you're going to be happier in the end. If you and your gf didn't work out, you are not without a support system, but rather FREE!!! Enjoy it! You're going to be out of state, not in your parents house and you're going to be the new guy in a city somewhere else. Women love the new guy. Enjoy this time to go out and get some good random.

Truly the only thing that sucks about your situation is that you're going to have to start using condoms again other than that you're set. New city, new ladies, no girlfriend, and you're going to be a doctor. Sounds like you've got a pretty sweet deal.

 

[Tots]

My parents acted the same way when I moved away for college...40 mins away -_-.
Don't let it get to you too much, I am sure they are proud your becoming a doctor..hopefully

 

[ChubbyChaser]

Dude..im here for you. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on...just let me know.

 

[0Complications]

I still dont understand how pple break up just cos of this. They cldn't even try??? Make you question one's committment from the start...

They break-up because they aren't ready to commit. It's not rocket science. I would be thankful if a gf broke-up with me if she wasn't truly serious and committed to our relationship. It's like trying to lug around a broken lamp, it may work if you plug it in, but it's annoying as hell and you're always looking for a good replacement.

 

[pianola]

They break-up because they aren't ready to commit. It's not rocket science. I would be thankful if a gf broke-up with me if she wasn't truly serious and committed to our relationship. It's like trying to lug around a broken lamp, it may work if you plug it in, but it's annoying as hell and you're always looking for a good replacement.

True, but that analogy...haha, great, now I'm feeling like a piece of furniture 😛.

 

[MsKrispyKreme]

You are always so concerned by how someone looks...

It helps me determine what my reply is going to be. 😛

 

[0Complications]

True, but that analogy...haha, great, now I'm feeling like a piece of furniture 😛.

I don't want to point out the obvious on this one, but you're a self-proclaimed piano... 😉

It helps me determine what my reply is going to be. 😛

Assume he's ugly... His girlfriend just left him.

 

[qmcat]

Dude..im here for you. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on...just let me know.

Thanks bro.

They break-up because they aren't ready to commit. It's not rocket science. I would be thankful if a gf broke-up with me if she wasn't truly serious and committed to our relationship. It's like trying to lug around a broken lamp, it may work if you plug it in, but it's annoying as hell and you're always looking for a good replacement.

This is an awesome analogy. The more I think about it, the more I realize that it's probably more than just "distance". My GF and I applied to med school together, but she wasn't able to make it into any US schools. I've been telling her to apply again the next cycle, but she decided to go Carib. I guess I need to raise my standards now that I'm single, haha.

Assume he's ugly... His girlfriend just left him.

LOL. Well I can't really judge my own looks. My head/face shape is similar to Ben Affleck, except I wear glasses. Hopefully that doesn't turn you off too much 😳

 

[Baller MD]

Sorry to come off as a jerk but I'm going to be totally honest here.

Unless your wife leaves you then you should not be complaining. Girls come and go, that's life. And it seems to me that your parents want you to stay, which means they probably care about you a lot. The point is, just put your problems into perspective. Other people have it worse. 😉

 

[slight365]

******ed to leave someone without even trying. I've had a couple long distance relationships, and they were fine. We saw each other and spoke to each other all the time, and we're still friends.

In the case of my gf (we're more like unmarried partners now), she would go away to Germany to do research for 3-4 months at a time and it was fine. No biggie.

As it is now, my parents don't particularly like (nor did they believe), that I would actually leave for Germany. When I left, they didn't believe I would be able to stay here...

I still get the passive-aggression I got throughout my undergrad years because I was moving further and further from home as time went on and thy were getting older and older and more worried about who would take care of them...

 

[Evergrey]

This is an awesome analogy. The more I think about it, the more I realize that it's probably more than just "distance". My GF and I applied to med school together, but she wasn't able to make it into any US schools. I've been telling her to apply again the next cycle, but she decided to go Carib. I guess I need to raise my standards now that I'm single, haha.

LOL, if you don't mind the asking -- what was her MCAT/cGPA?

 

[sugeny]

there would have been way more drama if you had stayed together, probably with the same result happening in the middle of first year.

Relationship drama during medical school is just not a fun experience - I ended my four year relationship with my bf two weeks before I started this year of school (MS1 here).... apparently he wasn't too thrilled about me becoming a doctor, and during the summer he finally got up the cahones to say it.

Long story short, that first test set was probably one of the most difficult times of my life.

On the good side, you have time to process it, accept it, and get ready to own it up your first year of medical school. Medical school will introduce you to such a sweet variety of people, I wouldn't worry too much about diminishing your old support network. My classmates have been some of the most encouraging, supportive people I have ever met - who knew? 😍

 

[qmcat]

Sorry to come off as a jerk but I'm going to be totally honest here.

Unless your wife leaves you then you should not be complaining. Girls come and go, that's life. And it seems to me that your parents want you to stay, which means they probably care about you a lot. The point is, just put your problems into perspective. Other people have it worse. 😉

You're right. However, I was just angry when I wrote my original post because I felt that my parents were being unfair towards me. Instead of supporting me (i.e. helping me pick which med school to go to, giving me opinions on housing, etc) they just give me the attitude that I'm on my own.

Because I didn't make it into any California schools, all that my parents are telling me now is pick the school I want to go to on my own, and figure out my living situation on my own. They're not even caring (or not showing that they care) where I end up, probably because anywhere out of California is far in my parents' point of view.

LOL, if you don't mind the asking -- what was her MCAT/cGPA?

Well, I know for sure her GPA is around 3.55. She told me that her MCAT is a 30 (she took it 3-4 times), but I don't know if that's true or not, because the only US school interview she got was from NYMC, and she didn't make it in. Seriously, looking back now, I really need to raise my standards and find myself a better girl, although I probably won't be able to find one as hot as she was.

 

[chiz2kul]

Well, I know for sure her GPA is around 3.55. She told me that her MCAT is a 30 (she took it 3-4 times), but I don't know if that's true or not, because the only US school interview she got was from NYMC, and she didn't make it in. Seriously, looking back now, I really need to raise my standards and find myself a better girl, although I probably won't be able to find one as hot as she was.

You do need to raise ur standards here too hehehe 😛

 

[MsKrispyKreme]

LOL. Well I can't really judge my own looks. My head/face shape is similar to Ben Affleck, except I wear glasses. Hopefully that doesn't turn you off too much 😳

How YOU doin'? 😳

 

[Druzie]

They break-up because they aren't ready to commit. It's not rocket science. I would be thankful if a gf broke-up with me if she wasn't truly serious and committed to our relationship. It's like trying to lug around a broken lamp, it may work if you plug it in, but it's annoying as hell and you're always looking for a good replacement.

Or maybe it's because they *are* ready to commit. Some girls don't want to maintain a LDR for four years then reunite and wait another while before marriage/children are possibilities. Who's to say it will work out at that point? Maybe she thinks it would be better to try to find someone who will be ready to commit when she is while she's young and hot enough to find someone. The biological clock is ticking.

In any case, OP, sounds like you're better off.

 

[mmmcdowe]

You're right. However, I was just angry when I wrote my original post because I felt that my parents were being unfair towards me. Instead of supporting me (i.e. helping me pick which med school to go to, giving me opinions on housing, etc) they just give me the attitude that I'm on my own.

Because I didn't make it into any California schools, all that my parents are telling me now is pick the school I want to go to on my own, and figure out my living situation on my own. They're not even caring (or not showing that they care) where I end up, probably because anywhere out of California is far in my parents' point of view.



Well, I know for sure her GPA is around 3.55. She told me that her MCAT is a 30 (she took it 3-4 times), but I don't know if that's true or not, because the only US school interview she got was from NYMC, and she didn't make it in. Seriously, looking back now, I really need to raise my standards and find myself a better girl, although I probably won't be able to find one as hot as she was.

It depends on how much ire you're willing to receive from your classmates.

 

[0Complications]

Or maybe it's because they *are* ready to commit. Some girls don't want to maintain a LDR for four years then reunite and wait another while before marriage/children are possibilities. Who's to say it will work out at that point? Maybe she thinks it would be better to try to find someone who will be ready to commit when she is while she's young and hot enough to find someone. The biological clock is ticking.

In any case, OP, sounds like you're better off.

Yes, but not to each other, my dear, which is ultimately the point. 😉

 

[DrJosephKim]

love the Q=mc<delta>T

 

[0Complications]

This is an awesome analogy. The more I think about it, the more I realize that it's probably more than just "distance". My GF and I applied to med school together, but she wasn't able to make it into any US schools. I've been telling her to apply again the next cycle, but she decided to go Carib. I guess I need to raise my standards now that I'm single, haha.


LOL. Well I can't really judge my own looks. My head/face shape is similar to Ben Affleck, except I wear glasses. Hopefully that doesn't turn you off too much 😳

Don't sweat it, pimp. You'll find someone new. Women are a dime a dozen. This one girl isn't going to make or break you. You're probably 21 or 22 and have your prime to explore the smorgasbord of ladies out there. Enjoy your bachelor days and don't forget to try plenty of samples before you decide on your next flavor.

I was just kidding about the ugly thing. Your ex-gf is realistically pissed and feels inadequate at the moment. I hope she can speak Spanish...

 

[Jwax]

but I just feel that it is unfair that they are using the idea of medical school to nag me to death about moving away from home and not depending on them anymore. In a way, I think that they may feel that they are losing their control over me once I move away, and they are making me feel guilty about it.

Bingo. It's the empty nest syndrome. Some parents are used to being depended on, and if you've been living at home throughout college it is that much worse. Parent's who have had a grip on you for so long have a hard time letting go and letting you have your own life. They'll get over it once they get used to it. I recommend trying to discuss it with them in an open, calm conversation, if possible. It might make your last few months less stressful.

******ed to leave someone without even trying. I've had a couple long distance relationships, and they were fine. We saw each other and spoke to each other all the time, and we're still friends

******ed to judge other people's relationship decisions, especially when it comes to long distance commitments. 😎 Most people aren't interested in this set up and would rather avoid it. Some people are willing to work around it. Often it doesn't work, sometimes it does. To each their own.

 

[melanoleuca]

All right, so this is going to be kind of a rant, but I would really like anyone's input and advice as well. I know many 2013'ers have lost their significant other in this application process and going through tough times, but I feel like, recently, I've been having to deal with a lot more crap.

Like many of you, my GF left me as well, due to the "long distance" problem of me moving OOS for med school. OK, I tell myself... no biggie, it's happening to a lot of other 2013'ers also.

To add to this, everytime I talk to my parents (especially my mom) they always steer the conversation to "oh you're moving OOS next year and you're going to have to fend for yourself in the blistering cold and snowy weather" (I'm from California btw) and they try to make me feel bad by giving me that attitude where it's like they're never going to see me again because I'm going to die in an avalanche somewhere.

Talking to my dad pisses me off too, since he always gives me housework to do, saying that I won't be around to help around the house in the next 4 years, so he's trying to take advantage of my labor now. I don't mind taking out the trash or washing dishes, since I always do that anyway, but getting home from work today, exhausted and passing out on the couch, and having my dad hand me a vacuum cleaner really made my blood boil.

I just feel like home isn't a happy place for me anymore, since all we ever talk about is how I'm going to be miserable moving away from home. But, inside, I am really itching to move away from home and California. I'm looking to med school as if I'll have the chance to start a new life and put all the drama of my past (girlfriends included) behind me.

Anyone going through a similar thing or any med students/residents/etc who have been through the drama have any input?

Don't sweat it. You are better off single in medical school and residency and if you're not, the odds are great, fantastic, that your relationship will not survive the ordeal. Better to get it over with now, cry into yer' friggin' beer, and move on. I certainly sympathize with you. Residency of which I have only five weeks left has destroyed my marriage and what I once thought was my life and now I have nothing to do but put my head down, soldier on, and try to find some new purpose, some new meaning if you get my drift, for the whole sorry little adventure.

As for your parents, Dude...it's time to cut the cord. Seriously. You are about to enter into a career where in a few short years your may have to walk into a room of strangers and tell them that their four-year-old son, brother, nephew is dead. You need to move away emotionally and physically from your parents.

And Dude (if I may call you Dude?), you will not be miserable in medical school and residency. You will make new friends, date new chicks, and sometimes you will be so "miserable" and overworked that the suckiness of it all will reach a critical mass, an event-horizon of suckiness, and you will reach a nirvana of ridiculousness...probably the first time you realize truly, in your heart, how utterly ridiculous most of medicine actually is.

And then you will start to enjoy it in ways you cannot yet imagine.

 

[qmcat]

On the good side, you have time to process it, accept it, and get ready to own it up your first year of medical school. Medical school will introduce you to such a sweet variety of people, I wouldn't worry too much about diminishing your old support network. My classmates have been some of the most encouraging, supportive people I have ever met - who knew? 😍

Thanks! I'm really looking forward to med school now.

love the Q=mc<delta>T

👍

Your ex-gf is realistically pissed and feels inadequate at the moment. I hope she can speak Spanish...

ya I agree with you. She's not going to SGU, which I heard is one of the better Carib schools (?). I'm just jealous of the Carib dude(s) who might get to take advantage of her somewhere down the line.

Bingo. It's the empty nest syndrome. Some parents are used to being depended on, and if you've been living at home throughout college it is that much worse. Parent's who have had a grip on you for so long have a hard time letting go and letting you have your own life. They'll get over it once they get used to it. I recommend trying to discuss it with them in an open, calm conversation, if possible. It might make your last few months less stressful.

Thanks Jwax. I did indeed live at home throughout college. I'll see what I can do by talking to them. Lately, they've been trying to convince me to pick the med school that I don't like, which is in a more urban place (so they can visit me every 3 months...), over the med school that I want to go to, which is in a very rural place. It's so frustrating.

Don't sweat it. You are better off single in medical school and residency and if you're not, the odds are great, fantastic, that your relationship will not survive the ordeal. Better to get it over with now, cry into yer' friggin' beer, and move on. I certainly sympathize with you. Residency of which I have only five weeks left has destroyed my marriage and what I once thought was my life and now I have nothing to do but put my head down, soldier on, and try to find some new purpose, some new meaning if you get my drift, for the whole sorry little adventure.

As for your parents, Dude...it's time to cut the cord. Seriously. You are about to enter into a career where in a few short years your may have to walk into a room of strangers and tell them that their four-year-old son, brother, nephew is dead. You need to move away emotionally and physically from your parents.

And Dude (if I may call you Dude?), you will not be miserable in medical school and residency. You will make new friends, date new chicks, and sometimes you will be so "miserable" and overworked that the suckiness of it all will reach a critical mass, an event-horizon of suckiness, and you will reach a nirvana of ridiculousness...probably the first time you realize truly, in your heart, how utterly ridiculous most of medicine actually is.

And then you will start to enjoy it in ways you cannot yet imagine.

Thank you, this is a wonderful post. Yes, you can call me Dude haha. I'm really looking forward to medical school. I know some people are getting cold feet from realizing the amount of work they will have to put in when we start in August. But, the thing I'm looking forward to the most is having more independence and control over my life. Then, at least, if I mess up in med school or life, it'll fall on me and not my parents who "told" me what to do.

Thanks to everyone who has given feedback so far. You've really given me a sense of hope, and I'm totally looking forward to starting med school in August. I can't wait to move out. 2.5 more months!

 

[mark5863]

looks like your parents are denying the present. All you can do is pray that they one day can understand your need to live without their interference.

On the other hand, enjoy med school...I hope to be accepted into one in a couple of years.

 

[JonathanMD]

As for your parents, Dude...it's time to cut the cord. Seriously. You are about to enter into a career where in a few short years your may have to walk into a room of strangers and tell them that their four-year-old son, brother, nephew is dead. You need to move away emotionally and physically from your parents.

This.

Aside from a wife or fiance, who cares? Ok, maybe not as harsh as that, but they probably have no idea what you're going to go through in the next 8 years. A support system is nice but I'm convinced that most relatives (for the most part) have no idea what they would be supporting even if they did.

(No, you're bitter.)

🙁

 

[orvos]

Over this past year, with the application cycle, I broke up with my significant other. We'd been together for several years, and while it's pretty clear that the application cycle isn't /the/ reason we separated, it helped to precipitate events earlier.

That said, we're still friends. However, I've been adamant in telling this person my message: enjoy our time NOW, because there is no tomorrow (next year). Take trips with me now. Enjoy our talks together now.

You might want to sit down with your family and basically send them that same message -- please, enjoy me as your son now, because it will not be the same after this. It's not that I don't want it to be the same, but it simply can't be. Things will change, and I want to leave and come back home for breaks on good terms.

My family is supportive of my choices. That said, I'm losing their financial support with the move, and that's been more difficult for me to handle, especially since I chose to "throw away" the financial support my SO would have offered. Ugh.

 

[danny317]

i had to deal w/ my father's cancer through this application process. he was diagnosed in Nov. He passed away in Mar. i had one last interview in late Feb. i bombed the interview bc the night before the interview, i signed a DNR and stayed at the hospital till 3am.

just recently, i broke up with my SO. we had been dating for ~4 yrs loooong distance (she lives in korea).

working through depression right now... hopefully ill be able to pull out of it before school starts.

 

[peppy]

i had to deal w/ my father's cancer through this application process. he was diagnosed in Nov. He passed away in Mar. i had one last interview in late Feb. i bombed the interview bc the night before the interview, i signed a DNR and stayed at the hospital till 3am.

just recently, i broke up with my SO. we had been dating for ~4 yrs loooong distance (she lives in korea).

working through depression right now... hopefully ill be able to pull out of it before school starts.

I'm sorry to hear about having to go through such a sad and stressful situation with your father, as if the stress of applying weren't enough in itself. After dealing with that, at least you know that you're strong enough to deal with whatever med school dishes out.
In hindsight, I would recommend to any new med students to make sure you take advantage of the opportunities to get to know your classmates regardless of the level of support you have from your non-medical friends and family. There is something to be said for the fact that only other medical students really understand what this is like!

 

[danny317]

I'm sorry to hear about having to go through such a sad and stressful situation with your father, as if the stress of applying weren't enough in itself. After dealing with that, at least you know that you're strong enough to deal with whatever med school dishes out.
In hindsight, I would recommend to any new med students to make sure you take advantage of the opportunities to get to know your classmates regardless of the level of support you have from your non-medical friends and family. There is something to be said for the fact that only other medical students really understand what this is like!

thanks.

 

[UVAbme2009]

I just broke it off with my girlfriend of 5 1/2 years. We were planning on living together starting this fall. It's not so hard when your hand gets forced.

Find a new support system (girl or whatever). It'll probably end up being your classmates.

 

[chessodoc]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=GB&hl=en-GB&v=tRDMIZPo5PI&feature=related

 

[pianola]

Hmm...based on this thread and several others on the subject, it seems like the break ups are largely between couples with girls-not-going-to-medical-school and guys-going-to-medical-school.

I wonder why.

I'm a girl-going-to-medical-school and I'm doing pretty well with my guy-not-going-to-medical-school.

 

[sarahl86]

Hmm...based on this thread and several others on the subject, it seems like the break ups are largely between couples with girls-not-going-to-medical-school and guys-going-to-medical-school.

I wonder why.

I'm a girl-going-to-medical-school and I'm doing pretty well with my guy-not-going-to-medical-school.

Well, as a girl-going-to-medical-school dating a guy-going-to-medical-school, it looks like I'm another oddball. You luckily won't be long distance though, and that seems to be the major obstacle with people posting on here. We'll have to keep each other posted on how things work out, pianola!!

Hopefully we don't have Debbie Downer stories in our futures...

 

[UVAbme2009]

Hmm...based on this thread and several others on the subject, it seems like the break ups are largely between couples with girls-not-going-to-medical-school and guys-going-to-medical-school.

I wonder why.

I'm a girl-going-to-medical-school and I'm doing pretty well with my guy-not-going-to-medical-school.

Was this a real question or a sarcastic, I wonder why.

 

[qmcat]

You might want to sit down with your family and basically send them that same message -- please, enjoy me as your son now, because it will not be the same after this. It's not that I don't want it to be the same, but it simply can't be. Things will change, and I want to leave and come back home for breaks on good terms.

My family is supportive of my choices. That said, I'm losing their financial support with the move, and that's been more difficult for me to handle, especially since I chose to "throw away" the financial support my SO would have offered. Ugh.

Thanks for the advice. I hope everything works out with your financial stuff. It's probably better to not take the financial support your SO would have offered because then your SO would have something to tie you down with, haha.

i had to deal w/ my father's cancer through this application process. he was diagnosed in Nov. He passed away in Mar. i had one last interview in late Feb. i bombed the interview bc the night before the interview, i signed a DNR and stayed at the hospital till 3am.

just recently, i broke up with my SO. we had been dating for ~4 yrs loooong distance (she lives in korea).

working through depression right now... hopefully ill be able to pull out of it before school starts.

I am sorry for your loss and the huge stress you're going through now. Hopefully, some of the advice offered here will help you stay strong. Don't lose hope!

Hmm...based on this thread and several others on the subject, it seems like the break ups are largely between couples with girls-not-going-to-medical-school and guys-going-to-medical-school.

I wonder why.

I'm a girl-going-to-medical-school and I'm doing pretty well with my guy-not-going-to-medical-school.

Maybe because girls want attention and if their BF goes to med school, he will end up giving more attention to school than to her? 😕 (I'm pretty bad at relationship theory)

 

[pianola]

Was this a real question or a sarcastic, I wonder why.

No, it was a real question. Sorry 😛.

Maybe because girls want attention and if their BF goes to med school, he will end up giving more attention to school than to her? 😕 (I'm pretty bad at relationship theory)

Actually, you might be right on.

The big reason my relationship is working out is because I know that *I'm* the idiot who is imposing the limits on how much time we spend together (stupid career). He's pretty independent and if he sees me, he considers it a plus, if not, then, well, maybe tomorrow. Honestly, if our positions were reversed, I don't think I'd take it quite as well 😉.

Heh, his mother is ecstatic that he's with me.

 

[scurred09]

I'm only a pre-med but I made the decision to dump my gf just so I don't have to start a thread about this stuff. Girls are like bad gas, they come and go.

Tell me about it. My girl is agitating about it right now too.

 

[scurred09]

This is why I hate speed dating. I get sick and tired of using condoms. Am I the only one?

You are always so concerned by how someone looks...



OP, it sounds like you're going to be happier in the end. If you and your gf didn't work out, you are not without a support system, but rather FREE!!! Enjoy it! You're going to be out of state, not in your parents house and you're going to be the new guy in a city somewhere else. Women love the new guy. Enjoy this time to go out and get some good random.

Truly the only thing that sucks about your situation is that you're going to have to start using condoms again other than that you're set. New city, new ladies, no girlfriend, and you're going to be a doctor. Sounds like you've got a pretty sweet deal.

 

[Klemptor]

This is why I hate speed dating. I get sick and tired of using condoms. Am I the only one?

Are you serious? 😵

It's better than getting tired of having VD.