M3 w Red Flags, Want to Match Anes

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I would say little to no chance at any of the listed Texas schools or California schools. The multiple fails and low Step 1 are going to hold you back. You need a great step 2.

The case report doesn’t mean much at the end of the day.
 
Wouldn't apply to any california. You have no chance. Programs want to know that you will be able to pass all the tests and be board certified. I think you will have trouble matching into the field so I would expand your geographic region.
 
Have a backup specialty, IM or FM most likely. This is a field where quite literally seconds matter and accommodations will be a red flag, to be honest.
 
I am not as pessimistic as some of the others posting, but I do agree that you will likely be a victim of a Step 1 application filter. If I was in your position and I HAD to do anesthesia I would apply extremely broadly, I am talking like >80 programs, go on as many interviews as possible, and make sure that your interview distribution has a heavier weight on places you consider trending towards safety choices rather than overfilling your schedule with reaches.

If your interest in anesthesia is more conceptual I would suggest also looking at EM.
 
With a low step 1, a fail in a clerkship, and the ADHD/additional accommodation on tests I think you'll be at the bottom of most rank lists. While your plan may be to do great on step 2 and clerkships, that's not really a plan and more of a hope or dream. I would keep your list to programs that didn't match/fill last year and hope for the best. I would also apply and interview at other low competitive specialties to make sure you don't end up as a graduate without a residency slot as that will add another red flag to your resume.
 
CaudalCephaly said:
While I appreciate your concern that individuals with ADHD may "lose focus" in the OR, I personally think this is a misunderstanding of the disease, or at least my case personally. All my attendings thus far have supported my decision to go into Anes and think I would do great in the field. Many people claim to have ADHD, I don't know too many people who actually have it, in case your experience with people afflicted is not accurate. In my case, I have performed well in medical school with the appropriate accommodations while also working for the first two years and having great leadership experiences and awards. Taking dozens of hours of standardized tests, holding fat flaps in the OR and other non-exciting work proves I can be "vigilant" in my opinion. It sounds like you're categorically denying anyone with ADHD could be a great anesthesiologist, and I don't think that's fair or accurate. On the contrary, the immediacy of pharmacological and other interventions make it the most interesting field in medicine, to me.
?
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I don't think anesthesia is completely impossible in your situation, but I would second the advice of others to apply very, very broadly and have a backup specialty. It is a PD's worst nightmare to match someone who ends up flunking ITEs, fails the basic, remediates, and doesn't get board certified on time. Accommodation or not, statistically you pose a big risk with your historical performance. Residency is far harder than medical school (even if you had a side job during MS). Not only do you have to study and take tests, but you have to spend 50-60+ hrs a week learning an oftentimes difficult new trade and new skills.

Also, holding fat flaps and taking tests isn't what the ASA had in mind with the motto "vigilance." Being vigilant as an anesthesiologist means that not only could you do something boring for 8 hrs, but in the 8th hour and 1st second you could calmly and efficiently recognize an emergency, create a differential, pick the most likely, and manage the problem before any harm befalls the patient. Granted I don't really understand ADHD that well either, but there are no "accommodations" when I get called to the OR for a crumping patient and the CRNA and surgeon are both looking at me for what to do next.
 
I think you have a fight chance in

1. Your home institution. But depends where you are, they may not want to chance their own passing rate. My home residency program was in trouble themselves for a few years, so they were not keen on taking anyone iffy.

2. All the low tier programs. Your American education still count for something. People still value your diploma more than FMG/IMG.

Do well on step 2, that’s easier said than done. If you do very well, you can expand your search list. Right now, with everything stacked against you, you need to apply everywhere.

Good luck.
 
IMGASMD said:
I think you have a fight chance in

1. Your home institution. But depends where you are, they may not want to chance their own passing rate. My home residency program was in trouble themselves for a few years, so they were not keen on taking anyone iffy.

Good luck.
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I agree if OP has been getting great evaluations on clinical rotations that his home program will be the best shot. Or auditioning at a less competitive program to show that he is better in real life than he is on paper.
 
CaudalCephaly said:
I'd like to thank everyone for their constructive contributions (or those that gave constructive contributions to be more accurate) and the people wishing me luck. At the very least I have a much more realistic (if not pessimistic) view of what my path forward to Anes looks like.

Some stray questions:
-- Does anyone have any experience in e-mailing programs or otherwise getting past the step 1 screen? (Yes, I know that even without a screen I have other red flags)
-- Does anyone know of any good/forgiving/understanding programs that might suit me? (Feel free to PM me!)


Some stray thoughts:
-- I am going to apply to a LOT of programs. Also my registrar is going to find the alums from my school that went to any of these residencies so I can speak with people in the programs.
-- I am going to dual apply to some less competitive things, like FM or FM/psych, or IM
-- Even though someone said doing well on clerkships and step 2 is more a dream than a plan (which I kinda agree with), I've achieved several of my dreams before so whats another one to add to the list
-- To those who stipulate that accommodations are a red flag- I'm not sure if accommodations will be noted on my transcript, and AFAIK multiple people from every class in every med school has accommodations. Last year a girl from my school was milking her T1DM for extra time on tests in order to pursue derm and she matched; so I doubt accommodations are a red flag
-- I Feel there's a lot of haterade and negativity on here
----- specifically people who think that I'm not 'good' enough to be an Anesthesiologist.... please, give me a break. I got 95th percentile on my MCAT without accommodations (much more critical thinking than rote memorization), and had literally 3 weeks to study for step 1 after NBME told me I wouldn't get accommodations. While I am very dissapointed, a 218 almost a year out from M2 year with 3 weeks to study ain't so bad (but obv doesn't help me at all). As far as how ADHD affects my vigilance or whatever, this bothered me for a minute but then I remembered I've worked with excellent, renowned trauma surgeons, the chief of gen surg, and yes even anesthesiologists who regularly pimped me while I was also driving the scope, suturing, or using the bone saw on a femur. I'm not (overly) worried about not having the "right stuff" to perform in seconds as necessary, in fact that is one of the main reasons I want to pursue Anes. I'm not saying I understand what it's like to be a Gas Doc in a crisis, however I know my classmates, and I'd trust myself and my family 100x over with me than with many of my peers, even if they did better at some tests than I did.
Lastly to those who think that people with ADHD aren't cut out to be Gas Docs, I'd suggest you imagine what its like when your kid is struggling in school in first grade and years later you learn he or she has a "learning disability." If you are seriously going to tell them not to pursue their dreams (if they are within reason, like a duly prepared medical student in a US MD school on scholarship who wants to pursue anesthesiology), then I think that says much more about you than about me.

Anyways, again thanks for all the constructive feedback, and even the negative feedback. It felt crappy to read and let it sink in, but it really does only strengthen my resolve to make the best app I can. Maybe I won't end up at UCLA, but as the saying goes, if you shoot for the stars and you miss, you still hit the moon. Cheers.
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I think everyone is trying to give you a “realistic” view. If you can not take it, then tough.

Reminiscing of your mcat days and being defensive about your step 1 score will not get you any sympathy or “understanding” here. We obviously don’t know you personally or clinically, this is the best assessment that we can give you.

If my kid have any learning disabilities, of course I will encourage them and tell them to do their best and aim high. Guess what, you’re not my kid.

You have red flagS. Not one, not two, but three plus flags in a very short amount of time. You need to move on from dwelling on these. You may need to do some auditions and kill them. You maybe need to really starting to study your step 2 starting now. You may need to do some research. You need something to “show”, before you dismissed anything that people said here. Because everything out of your mouth right now just sound like excuses.

I wish you the best, but also worry that you may be wasting your time/money/energy on something that is already an uphill battle.
 
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The problem with ADHD is not lack of vigilance (if anything, they can be hypervigilant to compensate). The problem is focus and efficient multitasking, especially in a crisis situation. I probably have some ADHD myself (that's my early dementia for you, @dr doze, aka impulsivity) which has never stopped me from being good at almost every intellectual activity I have tried in my life (except some things that require a lot of patience and focus - e.g. chess or research). I was lucky to grow up in a society which did not make any accommodations during exams (which should be the right approach in competitive situations - nobody watches the paralympic games, sad but true). When I score high on 8 hour-long exams, which require a ton of focus, it's due to a lot of work, not a lot of excuses. Your number one problem, @CaudalCephaly, is that you have not learned how to compensate for your deficit yet.

As long as IQ is not affected, a different brain doesn't disqualify anybody from anything, especially in a society that values diversity. It depends on the person's ability to compensate for being different. Almost all of these disorders come with advantages, not just disadvantages. One should try to figure out what one is good at, and choose a specialty based on some serious self-reflection. Think Temple Grandin, and what she did overcome, and you'll feel minuscule. But being different in any way is not an advantage in anesthesia (and in most jobs). Anesthesia is a very social specialty, so it's best for (no offense) "normal" people (where normal means as close to average as possible).

IMO the biggest mistake of your life was going into a profession where you feel like you need accommodations. That's affirmative action, right there, and it may condemn you to a lifetime of mediocrity. It's not like you need eyeglasses; you have literally shown that you can't perform at the same level as your peers. In my view, you are using your ADHD as a crutch and excuse. Fortunately, anesthesia is a dying specialty where almost anybody matches, so I still think you have chances, especially if you kill Step 2 (hopefully without accommodations). Should you go into it? That's between you and your conscience. Will you be happy practicing it? I have serious doubts.

If you're "extremely intelligent", do yourself a favor and go into internal medicine. You'll shine brighter, you'll be happier, people will actually appreciate your high IQ (as long as it translates into clinical competence, and doesn't get lost in the details), and you may find a subspecialty that will fit you like a glove. It may be critical care, which, while related to anesthesia, could be a good fit.

Please don't take my post as an offense. It's written with good intentions. Real life is a jungle; eat or be eaten. Employers want performance, not excuses. Good luck!
 
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DM27 said:
I am not as pessimistic as some of the others posting, but I do agree that you will likely be a victim of a Step 1 application filter. If I was in your position and I HAD to do anesthesia I would apply extremely broadly, I am talking like >80 programs, go on as many interviews as possible, and make sure that your interview distribution has a heavier weight on places you consider trending towards safety choices rather than overfilling your schedule with reaches.

If your interest in anesthesia is more conceptual I would suggest also looking at EM.
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Unfortunately most of the issues that would make him a bad candidate for gas would make him a worse candidate for EM.

That + EM is pretty competitive nowadays and a 218 with multiple clerkship failures would have him culled from the applicant pile quite quickly.
 
CaudalCephaly said:
In regards to your comments about Anes/IM, may I ask why you think someone like me would be more happy in IM vs Anes? Why would I not be happy? As far as the social goes, I'm a very social guy and have excellent social skills including multiple leadership positions (I used to be incredibly shy and worked at it for years to learn how to connect with people.)
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In that case, my comment about social skills doesn't apply. Still, anesthesia may not be the best for you, at this point.

The same way you have learnt how to overcome ADHD in social situations, you should learn how to answer exam questions in way under one minute. When you have a crisis situation in the OR, you can't ask for extra time. There is a reason our oral boards try to imitate that pressure. 😉

I know that many American students use their "disabilities" to get performance-enhancing drugs and extra time on exams, and you have to compete with that while having a real disability. Tough luck. Real life in many specialties doesn't make accommodations for anybody's intellectual problems. Some people may have difficulty to concentrate, some people may know too little, some people may just be simply dumb, but the result will be the same.

So, if you can't perform at the level of your peers without accommodations, think long about how your ADHD would affect the practice of your future specialty, in a worst case scenario. Do what's right for your future patients. Anesthesia is not rocket science, but one has to be fast on one's feet, both in making a diagnosis and fixing it, UNDER STRESS. If you couldn't perform with people talking on the hallway, how will you do when people will chat loudly during induction or emergence, in your operating room, RIGHT NEXT TO YOU? Or when they panic, RIGHT NEXT TO YOU? Will you enjoy that? Will you ride that big wave, whooping, or drown in it, taking your patient with you?

Physician, know thyself! A lot of physicians have problems that could affect their performance (depression, burnout, IQ, lack/loss of knowledge/skills etc.) and still function well within their daily activities. Nobody knows you better than you know yourself. Whatever you decide, just don't set yourself up for failure. Avoid wishful thinking.
 
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FFP said:
In that case, my comment about social skills doesn't apply. Still, anesthesia may not be the best for you, at this point.

The same way you have learnt how to overcome ADHD in social situations, you should learn how to answer exam questions in way under one minute. When you have a crisis situation in the OR, you can't ask for extra time. 😉

I know that many American students use their "disabilities" to get performance-enhancing drugs and extra time on exams, and you have to compete with that while having a real disability. Tough luck. Real life in many specialties doesn't make accommodations for anybody's intellectual problems. Some people may have difficulty to concentrate, some people may know too little, some people may just be simply dumb, but the result will be the same.

So, if you can't perform at the level of your peers without accommodations, think long about how your ADHD would affect the practice of your future specialty, in a worst case scenario. Do what's right for your future patients. Anesthesia is not rocket science, but one has to be fast on one's feet, both in making a diagnosis and fixing it, UNDER STRESS. If you couldn't perform with people talking on the hallway, how will you do when people will chat loudly during induction or emergence, in your operating room, RIGHT NEXT TO YOU? Or when they panic, RIGHT NEXT TO YOU? Will you enjoy that? Will you ride that big wave, whooping, or drown in it, taking your patient with you?

Physician, know thyself!
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As someone who has had ADHD since childhood and really struggled with it as a kid there is a LOT of truth here.

One of my big peeves is when people use the diagnosis as a crutch for academic work. Particularly in medicine. Not saying you are doing this (but it’s not a stretch to say you are implying it, honestly). Exactly as FFP said your crashing trauma patient or severe protamine reaction won’t stop to ask for a couple extra minutes with your diagnosis - you have to make proper decisions in area when literally seconds matter. Your future partners, surgeons and administrators you work with won’t be forgiving, either - this is the real world, not the artificial construct of school.

You mentioned dermatology earlier - good for that person, but that isn’t a specialty where snap decisions are required, on average.

I’ve learned to overcome it and channel my strengths into my career path - the specialty works for me, there’s a lot I can be doing which keeps me on my toes.

While programs won’t see what the accommodation was for, they will absolutely see the asterisk on your USMLE transcripts. I saw one or two when I was on the application committee - it is very, VERY rare.

Anyway, I’d recommend focusing your efforts at your home program and this is one of the few situations where an away at a nearby low tier program may be beneficial so they see you and you can prove them (hopefully) wrong about your overall application.
 
FFP said:
The problem with ADHD is not lack of vigilance (if anything, they can be hypervigilant to compensate). The problem is focus and efficient multitasking, especially in a crisis situation. I probably have some ADHD myself (that's my early dementia for you, @dr doze, aka impulsivity) which has never stopped me from being good at almost every intellectual activity I have tried in my life (except some things that require a lot of patience and focus - e.g. chess or research). I was lucky to grow up in a society which did not make any accommodations during exams (which should be the right approach in competitive situations - nobody watches the paralympic games, sad but true). When I score high on 8 hour-long exams, which require a ton of focus, it's due to a lot of work, not a lot of excuses. Your number one problem, @CaudalCephaly, is that you have not learned how to compensate for your deficit yet.

As long as IQ is not affected, a different brain doesn't disqualify anybody from anything, especially in a society that values diversity. It depends on the person's ability to compensate for being different. Almost all of these disorders come with advantages, not just disadvantages. One should try to figure out what one is good at, and choose a specialty based on some serious self-reflection. Think Temple Grandin, and what she did overcome, and you'll feel minuscule. But being different in any way is not an advantage in anesthesia (and in most jobs). Anesthesia is a very social specialty, so it's best for (no offense) "normal" people (where normal means as close to average as possible).
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Quoted for emphasis on learning to compensate and building on your advantages --

Also @FFP, the term you're looking for is "neuro-typical"
 
FFP said:
In that case, my comment about social skills doesn't apply. Still, anesthesia may not be the best for you, at this point.

The same way you have learnt how to overcome ADHD in social situations, you should learn how to answer exam questions in way under one minute. When you have a crisis situation in the OR, you can't ask for extra time. There is a reason our oral boards try to imitate that pressure. 😉

I know that many American students use their "disabilities" to get performance-enhancing drugs and extra time on exams, and you have to compete with that while having a real disability. Tough luck. Real life in many specialties doesn't make accommodations for anybody's intellectual problems. Some people may have difficulty to concentrate, some people may know too little, some people may just be simply dumb, but the result will be the same.

So, if you can't perform at the level of your peers without accommodations, think long about how your ADHD would affect the practice of your future specialty, in a worst case scenario. Do what's right for your future patients. Anesthesia is not rocket science, but one has to be fast on one's feet, both in making a diagnosis and fixing it, UNDER STRESS. If you couldn't perform with people talking on the hallway, how will you do when people will chat loudly during induction or emergence, in your operating room, RIGHT NEXT TO YOU? Or when they panic, RIGHT NEXT TO YOU? Will you enjoy that? Will you ride that big wave, whooping, or drown in it, taking your patient with you?

Physician, know thyself! A lot of physicians have problems that could affect their performance (depression, burnout, IQ, lack/loss of knowledge/skills etc.) and still function well within their daily activities. Nobody knows you better than you know yourself. Whatever you decide, just don't set yourself up for failure. Avoid wishful thinking.
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Fair enough!
 
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CaudalCephaly said:
Fair enough!




Ok first of all 🙄

Second of all, for someone with apparent ADHD it seems you have no idea what it is. It is literally a disorder thats primary manifestation is academic work.

-----

I should have listened to my peers and mentors and avoided SDN altogether.
This is my last post here for the following reasons:
1. You realize I came here seeking advice and asking chances to improve my app --- no one asked your opinion on ADHD or what kind of person I am or for your opinion on anything besides my app. I realize my words are falling on deaf ears --- after all for many of you SDN is a large part of your lives and gives you a sense of superiority behind your monitors and keyboards, so there is really no more point to continue.
2. There is nothing that I learned here that I could not get from google and the resources at my school; instead everyone has decided they'd like to waste their time and more importantly mine by being armchair psychologists --- Puh-LEASE
3. Many of you people have far too much time on your hands. I'd be extremely interested to see how you all appear and conduct yourself in person.
4. I just love how everyone seems to have an opinion on everything and think that everyone else wants to hear it.... SDN: the place where individuals with some sort of personality disorder come to live a second life of infinite knowledge, superiority and complete lack of self-awareness.

Talk is cheap. Have fun behind the keyboards, I'll be out grinding and living life :hello:
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Class failure, low board score, learning disability, inability to take criticisms, only interested in elite programs on the coast. Interesting! You have a lot to work on my man. Maybe a little less life living and a little more studying.
 
TLDR:

MS creates a WAMC thread. MS has a bunch of red flags.

Thread points out all the red flags and offers advice about killing step 2, applying at home, broadly, and having a backup specialty.

MS accuses SDN of having a personality disorder (while calling everyone armchair psychologists) and then ragequits his own thread.



I frequently wonder why all my old fart colleagues are always btching about millenials but every now and then a thread like this reminds me...
 
CaudalCephaly said:
Believe it or not, some people actually come here for advice rather than entertainment.



MS repeatedly accepts the advice and thanks those who actually gave advice instead of armchair psychology; MS states he's accepted he's not going to great programs and reveals steps she/he's taken in home program including meeting with PD, research, and MS' registrar to seek out recent alumns all over country yet SDN continues to give their oh-so-sage wisdom; in earlier post this morning MS states that he was up at 330a doing UWorld questions and later sees replies once again talking about ADHD, fairness, making excuses the same old points about why MS is not good enough for ABC because of XYZ reasons (look at earlier quoted posts if you don't believe MS); MS asks more questions about specific programs, SDN does not reply but continues to talk about how MS should accept criticism from nameless individuals who I doubt could even look MS in the eye (and if you want to sign an NDA to keep each other's anonymity lets Skype or meet face to face and see what you're made of); MS predicts that many of SDN is already looking at previously bolded, italicized statement and about to dust off their keyboard once again to accuse MS of not listening/ not accepting criticism/ yada yada yada yada yada despite literally waking up at 330am to do UWorld after posting last night "thanks and goodbye" AKA doing this for MS' self not for acceptance of SDN; MS does not ragequit but instead realizes how hilariously pathetic it is to engage with people who stopped giving advice and are spouting their own beliefs for no good reason than to kill their time. In between ridiculous posts MS for the first time shadowed an interventional pain fellowship trained Anesthesiologist in clinic after MS' clerkship duties and is undergoing a project to analyze MS' institution's opioid prescription data in research endeavor. (AKA MS is doing things proactively instead of listening to the crap on this thread about fairness, equity, excuses, blah blah blah).

MS stands by the only accusation MS has made, that many of the armchair psychologists here may have a personality disorder/atypia (data suggest individuals who spend most of their free time on video games, internet chat rooms, etc are mal-adapted). For example look at the pathetic group-think liking of the message by @drdoze flippedly suggesting that individuals with ADHD are not "vigilant" --- note that this message by @drdoze had literally no substantive value to OP's plight, yet has the most likes of any message on this thread. Frankly, this is pathetic and @drdoze and people who liked that message (aka @Consigliere @eikenhein @DokterMom @lexidiamondz @nimbus --- with a combined total of over ***10,000 messages*** to a computer screen with their lovely keyboards [don't you people have lives to lead?]) should introspect as to why they enjoy that message or think its appropriate. Oh, right, because Anesthesiologists are only the cream of the crop and would never have an individual with ADHD or dyslexia or achondroplasia or whatever.... I'm sure @drdoze is the keeper of the standard for anesthesiology as a whole and is capable of attesting to the DSM-V characteristics of every single anesthesiologist and proctoring their vigilance on a daily basis. Oh wait, he's just a dude that's been posting on SDN for 10+ years.

MS comes back because of notifications and realizes pointing out hypocrisy is important, if not futile. MS did not call everyone armchair psychologists -- only those analyzing MS (For example, @FFP at least genuinely tried to engage MS instead of carte blanche bloviating). MS wonders if @vector2 has ever thought about the previous generation before old fart colleagues, and how they maybe btched about the old fart generation and their rebellion and rock music and 80s haircuts and wonders if @vector2 has ever studied human nature, and how everyone thinks their better than the new generation. MS wonders if @vector2 will ever see the haughtiness and arrogance in his/her posts. MS wonders if @vector2's arrogance comes off in public and affects his interpersonal relationships. MS resignedly accepts, probably not and certainly possible.

For those reading who have not taken sides, you should remember that you are not perfect and the person across the screen could very well be YOUR physician someday. MS stands proudly on the bedrock of his many fancy accomplishments which MS cannot detail for fear of anonymity purposes, and no, the last 12 months are probably one of the lower points of MS' life (and good job SDN for kicking someone while their down!) If you don't have anything constructive to say, for your and everyone's sake please STFU.

MS accepts she/he themselves are being hypocritical by coming back to thread despite declaring themselves done with it. MS understands hypocrisy is part of human nature and wonders if other SDN users realize this. Importantly, MS wishes everyone here the best, truly and genuinely.

I suggest everyone here read a book called The Four Agreements. Many of the SDN users that have posted here and in countless threads repeatedly spread mental/emotional poison that literally does no one any good. Alright, MS has to do some more UWorld before bed.
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Throwing a lot of shade here...but I’m pretty happy you have too many red flags to match into my specialty. You. Are. Nuts.
 
upload_2018-9-21_20-50-11.jpeg
 
CaudalCephaly said:
Believe it or not, some people actually come here for advice rather than entertainment.
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Hey man, I saw your original post, and I saw how this thread went down. I would say if you are interested in anesthesia just try to do your best on any remaining clerkships, step 2, home anesthesia rotation, and apply broadly. A lot of people get caught up with the brand name programs, but the better program for the majority of applicants is the one where they feel they fit and can learn best. Just remember, this won't be an easy process, but if you work hard and be humble, you can get there. Best of luck.
 
CaudalCephaly said:
Believe it or not, some people actually come here for advice rather than entertainment.



MS repeatedly accepts the advice and thanks those who actually gave advice instead of armchair psychology; MS states he's accepted he's not going to great programs and reveals steps she/he's taken in home program including meeting with PD, research, and MS' registrar to seek out recent alumns all over country yet SDN continues to give their oh-so-sage wisdom; in earlier post this morning MS states that he was up at 330a doing UWorld questions and later sees replies once again talking about ADHD, fairness, making excuses the same old points about why MS is not good enough for ABC because of XYZ reasons (look at earlier quoted posts if you don't believe MS); MS asks more questions about specific programs, SDN does not reply but continues to talk about how MS should accept criticism from nameless individuals who I doubt could even look MS in the eye (and if you want to sign an NDA to keep each other's anonymity lets Skype or meet face to face and see what you're made of); MS predicts that many of SDN is already looking at previously bolded, italicized statement and about to dust off their keyboard once again to accuse MS of not listening/ not accepting criticism/ yada yada yada yada yada despite literally waking up at 330am to do UWorld after posting last night "thanks and goodbye" AKA doing this for MS' self not for acceptance of SDN; MS does not ragequit but instead realizes how hilariously pathetic it is to engage with people who stopped giving advice and are spouting their own beliefs for no good reason than to kill their time. In between ridiculous posts MS for the first time shadowed an interventional pain fellowship trained Anesthesiologist in clinic after MS' clerkship duties and is undergoing a project to analyze MS' institution's opioid prescription data in research endeavor. (AKA MS is doing things proactively instead of listening to the crap on this thread about fairness, equity, excuses, blah blah blah).

MS stands by the only accusation MS has made, that many of the armchair psychologists here may have a personality disorder/atypia (data suggest individuals who spend most of their free time on video games, internet chat rooms, etc are mal-adapted). For example look at the pathetic group-think liking of the message by @drdoze flippedly suggesting that individuals with ADHD are not "vigilant" --- note that this message by @drdoze had literally no substantive value to OP's plight, yet has the most likes of any message on this thread. Frankly, this is pathetic and @drdoze and people who liked that message (aka @Consigliere @eikenhein @DokterMom @lexidiamondz @nimbus --- with a combined total of over ***10,000 messages*** to a computer screen with their lovely keyboards [don't you people have lives to lead?]) should introspect as to why they enjoy that message or think its appropriate. Oh, right, because Anesthesiologists are only the cream of the crop and would never have an individual with ADHD or dyslexia or achondroplasia or whatever.... I'm sure @drdoze is the keeper of the standard for anesthesiology as a whole and is capable of attesting to the DSM-V characteristics of every single anesthesiologist and proctoring their vigilance on a daily basis. Oh wait, he's just a dude that's been posting on SDN for 10+ years.

MS comes back because of notifications and realizes pointing out hypocrisy is important, if not futile. MS did not call everyone armchair psychologists -- only those analyzing MS (For example, @FFP at least genuinely tried to engage MS instead of carte blanche bloviating). MS wonders if @vector2 has ever thought about the previous generation before old fart colleagues, and how they maybe btched about the old fart generation and their rebellion and rock music and 80s haircuts and wonders if @vector2 has ever studied human nature, and how everyone thinks their better than the new generation. MS wonders if @vector2 will ever see the haughtiness and arrogance in his/her posts. MS wonders if @vector2's arrogance comes off in public and affects his interpersonal relationships. MS resignedly accepts, probably not and certainly possible.

For those reading who have not taken sides, you should remember that you are not perfect and the person across the screen could very well be YOUR physician someday. MS stands proudly on the bedrock of his many fancy accomplishments which MS cannot detail for fear of anonymity purposes, and no, the last 12 months are probably one of the lower points of MS' life (and good job SDN for kicking someone while their down!) If you don't have anything constructive to say, for your and everyone's sake please STFU.

MS accepts she/he themselves are being hypocritical by coming back to thread despite declaring themselves done with it. MS understands hypocrisy is part of human nature and wonders if other SDN users realize this. Importantly, MS wishes everyone here the best, truly and genuinely.

I suggest everyone here read a book called The Four Agreements. Many of the SDN users that have posted here and in countless threads repeatedly spread mental/emotional poison that literally does no one any good.


Yikes this is getting redic, and I have medicine to study and a life to lead. Pz.
Click to expand...

Good stuff, good stuff. As a double boarded anesthesiologist who works in academics, writes letters of rec, and actually interviews medical students, let me give you one last piece of advice: Just take this post of yours I quoted and copy it directly into your ERAS personal statement. PD's will definitely see what a gifted, hardworking, 100% sane person you are. Honestly, it's so poignant that they'll barely noticed you wrote a manifesto where you referred to yourself entirely in the third person for 6 paragraphs.
 
To all,

Clearly I have alot of problems and am going to leave and try and move forward from this. I am sorry for wasting your time, and for any negative emotions I caused. Thanks for the advice. Goodbye and please accept my apologies once more.
 
prinzmetal7 said:
Hey man, I saw your original post, and I saw how this thread went down. I would say if you are interested in anesthesia just try to do your best on any remaining clerkships, step 2, home anesthesia rotation, and apply broadly. A lot of people get caught up with the brand name programs, but the better program for the majority of applicants is the one where they feel they fit and can learn best. Just remember, this won't be an easy process, but if you work hard and be humble, you can get there. Best of luck.
Click to expand...

Thank you, very much.
 
Once again I'm very sorry for how this escalated. I'm just a person who had a problem and was not ready for what I received here. I spoke inappropriately and disrespectfully to people who have achieved stature that I have not and done more than I have, so it was uncalled for. For that I'm really sorry, and I hope everyone here can forgive me. I am going to try and do my best to move forward from this entire experience. I wish you all the best and hope you do the same for me.
 
Psai said:
Why would you wake up at 330 am to do uworld? Sounds stupid but then again you failed multiple things so I guess you're just being consistent
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Your post is explicitly calling me stupid. Nice. Though I didn't call you out on this thread, I am sorry for any offense given.


To interested parties, sleeping earlier in the night and waking up earlier results in less time spent in REM sleep and therefore more time spent in the deeper, more restorative part of sleep. Several studies on this topic, first result on google from TIME magazine is pretty good.
 
Aye bro. If you worked really hard doing something and tried your best. Own it and be proud. Don’t let other people take that from you. And don’t take that from yourself. Try not to put real personal stuff out here. It will never benefit you.
I believe you’ll do great. You should too
 
Hey OP, just apply and see what happens. Look at the match results from last year and see how many people with your stats matched and decide how to proceed. Apply to a backup specialty to cover your bases. Also, sdn would be the last place I would come for encouragement.
 
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Let me give you some advice:

1) You simply should not care what other people think. You should just apply. Have a backup specialty. Path or something.

2) No matter what happens to you, have a thick skin. Don’t let other people make you emotional. Never let them see you hurt.

3) If you argued like this to any surgeon in practice or any attending in residency, even if you’re right, you’d be likely fired. At the very least chewed out to the nth degree. People in power don’t like “underlings” who challenge them. Fired is worse than not matching.

4) Your Step score is not bad enough to sink your chances.

5) Failing a clerkship happens. But WHY you failed is critical. Good reason: mother got cancer, sole survivor of plane crash, got appendicitis during the shelf. Bad reason: anything else. If you present an excuse, it’s got to be a doozy.

6) I’m pretty sure I matched at a reach program because I was able to impress my interviewer. I wasn’t trying to. But I did. It was late in the interview season, and I had stopped giving canned responses. I just didn’t care at all. Came off as human as a result.

7) Don’t come on this message board. Or any of them here at SDN. These folks are arrogant and cynical. You’re talking to the burned out, bored, jaded, and jilted.

8) Everyone is nuts. Everyone. I’m nuts. Your nuts. We’re all nuts. But not all nuts are hostile and unpleasant.

9) Every single one of us who has made it into and through training struggled. None of us had it easy. We all doubted ourselves. But we made it, and a lot of it was luck.
 
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