Marital name change in vet school

[prevet04]

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Hi everyone! Just wanted to get some input from the vet community - I'm getting married during vet school, and I'm against the whole tradition of a women taking a mans name after marriage, so I want to keep my last name. Additionally, I would have 3-4 publications under my last name when I get married. My fiance wants us to have the same last name so that its not confusing later on with kids and the family dynamic.

Is it possible to practice / work professionally as Dr. MyLastName if I change my last name to my middle name? So it would be FirstName MyLastName HisLastName. That would also be on my degree. Hyphenating wouldn't work for us.

He would also then take my last name as a 2nd middle name. Kids would also then have MyLastName as their middle name and HisLastName as their last name.

Thoughts?

Thanks!

 

[KCgophervet]

So, just to give you another option, you can have two last names as your official last name. My roommate in college had two last names (I'll make up names for simplicity's sake). So her full name was like Jane Marie Smith Larson. No hyphen, just a space between the two last names.

Also, just to be annoying, he could always take your last name. Or you could both change it to two last names.

I get those feelings though, my husband and I eventually decided to combine our last names to make a brand new one. Good luck.

 

[supershorty]

As a kid from parents with 2 different last names, I promise it's not confusing and doesn't affect the family dynamic. My parents picked the last name that was easier to spell for the kids. Obviously not the only way to do it, but I wouldn't be concerned with confusing your children/the people they interact with.

 

[CalliopeDVM]

Wow, your idea seems really complicated. Kids (and their schools and teachers) are just fine with students' parents having different last names. It's not uncommon.

If I was known professionally as Dr. Smith and also didn't want to adopt my husband's last name, I absolutely wouldn't. Tell your fiance that if he thinks it's so important for the kids to have parents with the same last name, he should adopt yours.

It's also possible for you to use Dr. Smith professionally and be on your license, but use Dr. HisLastName personally in your social life.

 

[Caiter92]

As a kid from parents with 2 different last names, I promise it's not confusing and doesn't affect the family dynamic. My parents picked the last name that was easier to spell for the kids. Obviously not the only way to do it, but I wouldn't be concerned with confusing your children/the people they interact with.

This. My mom and I have never had the same last name. I later added my mother's maiden name to mine with no hyphen (like @kcoughli mentioned) for various reasons, but my mom took my stepdad's last name when they got married, so we never had the same last name. It was never confusing for me as a child.

 

[mawgs]

My mom is an MD and she kept her last name legally and professionally. My siblings and I have our dad’s last name, and my mom uses our last name in her personal life.

 

[SocialStigma]

Chiming in to also say it's not confusing for kids to have parents of different last names. My mom never took my dad's last name - and not for professional reasons either. She's a stay-at-home mom..she just didn't feel the need to. She went by "Mrs. Dad's last name" socially and when signing off of permission slips for school.