Married and both Military?

[ImmunoNut]

hi everyone,

I am hoping to enter medical school in 2007. My fiance is going to finish a mechanical engineering degree in a couple of years. We have both considered going into the military after we finish. My question is, if we are married and in the military and both active, will we be kept together? Recruiters have told us YES but I am sure there are exceptions and I expected them to say yes. I am not going to do it if they are going to send us separate places. Thanks.

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[usnavdoc]

Dont do it. Thats all there is to say on that issue. Recruiters will outright lie to you. You will be sent wherever they need you. If that happens to be together great if not so be it. Thats how they look at it.

 

[helo doc]

Ditto usnavdoc's comments. "The needs of the Navy come first" is a saying/mantra the detailer's shop can and will use to send you and your spouse to wherever and whenever. Period. Ask someone called MilitaryMD on this forum for his experiences with the detailers (not recommended for those with heart conditions, weak constitution, or children).

 

[cyclegirl]

I am a militray child with a parent in the Navy medical corp and have known a lot of miltary medical personel and their spouses. I can think of a couple that were both physicians and they were never seperated in the 12 years they were in. Another couple I know they are both nurses and one was in for 20 years and just retired and the other is still in. They were never seperated and they were just transfered the NC. My cousin is in the Navy, not medical, and went in enlisted and met his wife on the ship they were on. He got picked up for an officers program and was transfered to RI and his then girlfirend was transfered to Mississippi. Soon afterward they got engaged and married while they were seperated but she was now in CA. When he started undergrad school in WA, they are married now, she got transfered to a ship in WA. They both ended up with about a 20 min commute. She soon retired and they now live in FL but I guess what I am trying to say is the Navy accomidated them once they were married and my cousin was done with the officers program in RI. It probably helps to be transfered to the same base if you are in the same field because not all bases have all professions. If your future husband is an engineer for a ship you will have to consider that yes there are a lot of Navy hospitals at ports but there are also some inland where ships can not go.

I was a little long winded but I hope that helped a little. Good Luck

 

[dpill]

Unfortunately, there are no "absolute guarantees" for anything in the military- but I can tell you the AF worked to keep me and my husband together (even curtailing an assignment for me to move with him when we first got married). At my last active duty assignment (within the last 3 years), my boss (Air Force) married a Navy ophthalmologist, and the Navy actually allowed her to be assigned to an Air Force Base in TX to keep them together.

I am not sure if you are considering the Air Force, but here is an excerpt from the Air Force Personnel Center web site:

"Married military couples are required to complete the AF Form 1048 (Military Spouse Information). This form lets AFPC know what your intentions/desires as a couple are. It tells us whether you do or do not want to be reassigned together. If you do want joint assignments, we will do everything reasonable to accommodate your desires in most situations."

Not quite as certain as your recruiter portrayed it, I'm sure. But I have known many military couples in my 13 yrs in the military, and I don't know many folks that have been separated except during a remote tour (every person on a remote tour is separated from his or her family). With that being said, when you are offered a join spouse assignment (join spouse is the name of program the AF uses to assign military married to military together) the location may not always be what you want.

For more information about the Air Force go to:
http://www.afpc.randolph.af.mil/enlisted/TOPIC Join Spouse.htm

 

[Heeed!]

hi everyone,

I am hoping to enter medical school in 2007. My fiance is going to finish a mechanical engineering degree in a couple of years. We have both considered going into the military after we finish. My question is, if we are married and in the military and both active, will we be kept together? Recruiters have told us YES but I am sure there are exceptions and I expected them to say yes. I am not going to do it if they are going to send us separate places. Thanks.

Nothing is certain in the military. I wouldn't recommend joining based on your particular situation.

 

[RichL025]

I agree there are no guaruntees, and with ANYTHING you deal with in the military, the "needs of the service" come first.

That being said, I have met several dual physician couples in the army, who have a long history of being assigned together. One pair are both general surgeons, and the only time they were stationed apart is when one of them requested it (for career reasons, they were still geographically fairly close).

Just like the mutual fund commercials: "past performance is not necessarily indicative of futre profitibility..." - the military is under no 'obligation' to keep you together.

So what is their motive? They realize that if they keep you happy with easily achieveable things, you are more likely to stay in longer.

Me and my wife are both military (she an intern, me an MS-4) so we're obviously really hoping that the army continues its past trends in keeping couples together.

I don't know if only one of you being in the medical corps would make things easier or harder. I suspect the former, but that's just a swag. Good luck.

 

[USAFGMODOC]

Did 15 years mil married to mil and were separated once for 6 months... This did not include 10-15 short 30 day TDY's apart during that time, but beware, deployments are up tremendously and don't look to get any better... It is stressfull and if I would have done it over again, I'd have recommended my spouse to have separated

 

[militarymd]

we got married in 1995....got to live together in 1999. I guess it is very hard to find a duy station where there is both an internist and an anesthesiologist....sarcasm, in case you missed it.

I will harm my detailers if I ever get the opportunity in my life time.

 

[RichL025]

we got married in 1995....got to live together in 1999. I guess it is very hard to find a duy station where there is both an internist and an anesthesiologist....sarcasm, in case you missed it.

I will harm my detailers if I ever get the opportunity in my life time.

Air Force, right?

I should be more specific and say all of my (admittedly secondhand) knowledge is regarding the army. I have no idea how far- or short-sighted the detailers for our blue-suited bretheren are (but island doc and militarymd seem to have opinions....)

 

[dpill]

we got married in 1995....got to live together in 1999. I guess it is very hard to find a duy station where there is both an internist and an anesthesiologist....sarcasm, in case you missed it.

I will harm my detailers if I ever get the opportunity in my life time.

Hey, they offered you the garden spot of Guantanamo together, right? I can't believe you didn't want to live there for 3 years... I am sure your detailer thought he was actually giving you a good deal 🙄

 

[adventurer]

My (ex) and I (both army) had no problems being assigned together ONCE THE CORRECT FORMS WERE FILLED OUT. In fact, they did bend over backwards so we could be assigned together. That said, the ex had to deal with "following my orders" wich was not what he wanted as far as career progression went. It wasn't that he didn't have advancement opps, but he wanted to do specific things and you have to be proactive to get specific schools or assignments, which is harder to do if there are two people the military must reassign. Its not impossible and it is nice to have someone who can help you and understands you-but you have to have a very "equal opportunity marriage" where both spouses can "handle" things if needed-bills, car repairs, dealing with children, etc. There are many successful military couples (not me, but that's a different story!)

 

[Spang]

I will harm my detailers if I ever get the opportunity in my life time.

I know you don't mean that.

 

[militarymd]

I know you don't mean that.

Yes, I DO.

 

[island doc]

we got married in 1995....got to live together in 1999. I guess it is very hard to find a duy station where there is both an internist and an anesthesiologist....sarcasm, in case you missed it.

I will harm my detailers if I ever get the opportunity in my life time.

Got married in '95 and couldn't live together 'til '99, geez, it must have been awful not being able to consummate your marriage for four years.... I can now understand why you are so pissed off!!! 😛

 

[Heeed!]

In fact, they did bend over backwards

That's interesting...it's usually the other way around.

 

[RichL025]

That's interesting...it's usually the other way around.

Actually, I think it's only the other way around in the Navy & Air Force. I've been wearing a uniform for 18 years now, and the only dual-assignment horror stories I've heard about (medical or not) have been from those services. Most of the happy military couples (mainly one or both medical) have been army.

Funny thing is, the "lore" among us army folk always was that the Navy & Air Force "took better care of" their people. Maybe the conventional wisdom was wrong all along?

During a brief tour at a Navy base I discovered that as a single E7, the Navy insisted I have a roomate and live in on-base housing. That would have been unthinkable in the army.