Match Day (Weekend) Plans?

[singasongofjoy]

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EmotRegulation, how did your internship work out in the end? I matched to one of my not top choice places and it feels bittersweet, indeed? Looking for hope that it all ends up well

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That happened to me too, and it was def bittersweet- there were tears. I was quite disappointed even though my best friend from my program matched at the same site. I did NOT want to move to the cold midwest (I'm an east-coast, warm weather kinda gal). Turned out to be the best year I've had in a really long time - it was fantastic. Helped that the work/life balance was a heck of a lot better. In fact, if it wasn't so cold there, there's a good chance we would have stayed there for postdoc- partner and I talked about it- so despite all my initial disappointmetn I was very happily surprised (shocked, really). Go in with an open mind and make a point to do fun stuff from the get-go. Find fun free stuff to do in your new town, invite the other interns along, and look at it as an adventure. It's OK to take time to be disappointed too, of course- give yourself time to do that - but after that... it will be OK- and it's only one year, as opposed to however many you just spent at your school. It'll be OK 🙂

 

[CompleteUnknown]

Feeling so conflicted and overwhelmed! I matched to my top choice -- YAY! I'm done with this crazy process -- YAY! But I also need to move away from my partner and be apart from them for a whole year. This feels really hard, and I'm struggling to feel very excited right now. 🤔

 

[Lola917]

My match results came in at 8:02 am EST, I matched at my 1st choice (APA accredited, hospital, NYC area)! I'm so happy! Also, a side note - I did NOT think my interview went well at this site. With this site being my top choice, I was extra nervous during the interview and thought that out of my 7 interviews, this interview was the worst. I really wanted it though, so I took a risk and ranked it #1...and I'm so glad I did!
Definitely a dancing banana moment!

Just to prepare myself for the event that I may not match, I read up a lot on the Phase II process. It looks like from the previous years, there were many great sites and most people matched at places even better than they hoped for. So to those of you who matched, congratulations, but to those who didn't, stay strong and motivated, the phase II process if only about 1 month long and shows promising results. Stay positive and good luck!

 

[brain hugger]

Matched! Anyone match to a Boston site as well?

Also, I'm worn out, guys. I'm feeling a mixture of emotions since my friend didn't match. This process can really turn you inside out.

 

[EmotRegulation]

EmotRegulation, how did your internship work out in the end? I matched to one of my not top choice places and it feels bittersweet, indeed? Looking for hope that it all ends up well

Yeah, there's been a bit of this with folks I know today. Good to match but disappointment that it wasn't a higher ranked site. Definitely bittersweet (which I noted was kinda ironic since I am interested in the study of mixed emotions...and this definitely qualifies as one). I recall feeling truly surprised that I didn't match at my #1 or #2; I was SO SURE I would end up at my #1 because it felt SO right to me, I went through a bit of an intrapersonal evaluation--how could something I was so sure about not happen? (The answer--because my feelings aren't good predictors of the future or of other people's choices).

The short answer to your actual question, though, is my internship was AWESOME. I loved the site (still in contact with several of the faculty there), I completely fell in love with the location to a degree that I had no idea it was possible to truly love a place (I'm going to retire there someday), and it was great training. I made good friends, met a fabulous guy online (not affiliated with psychology whatsover) who's now my husband and father of my child, and I had a really educational-but-not-stressful year with a lot of fun on the side. I'm so grateful I ended up where I did. But I definitely didn't feel that on Match day!!!

 

[Therapist4Chnge]

EmotRegulation, how did your internship work out in the end? I matched to one of my not top choice places and it feels bittersweet, indeed? Looking for hope that it all ends up well

Sent from my XT1080 using SDN mobile

I didn't match to my top sites, but I ended up having a great experience. The staff/faculty were like family and I am very thankful I matched to their site.

 

[vgitbp]

I'd like to thank SDN for giving me a heart attack when my Match results came in 4 minutes later than everyone else's 😱😀

Thrilled to see so many happy people. I'm deliriously tired and excited and still in disbelief.

Also, shout out to the random person who submitted over 50 applications this cycle (according to the match stats). I wept for your bank account and hope you matched.

So...now what? 😉

 

[vgitbp]

Feeling so conflicted and overwhelmed! I matched to my top choice -- YAY! I'm done with this crazy process -- YAY! But I also need to move away from my partner and be apart from them for a whole year. This feels really hard, and I'm struggling to feel very excited right now. 🤔

Double post--also matched #1 but will have to live an airplane ride away from my spouse. Thrilled but nervous now that it is real. There needs to be a support group for this!

 

[ellenew]

I matched, but to my number three. I'm feeling disappointed and relieved simultaneously. Seriously confusing.

 

[ellenew]

Double post--also matched #1 but will have to live an airplane ride away from my spouse. Thrilled but nervous now that it is real. There needs to be a support group for this!

I understand. My husband and I have been living apart for years now so I can finish a PhD (he is in the military). I will try to find a postdoc where he is stationed. Distance is hard, but it is possible.

 

[Therapist4Chnge]

Double post--also matched #1 but will have to live an airplane ride away from my spouse. Thrilled but nervous now that it is real. There needs to be a support group for this!

1. You'll be busy, but make use of your free time. Explore a bit, work on yourself (diff for each person). Find a new hobby or re-discover an old one. Art galleries, parks, farmer's market, etc...really consider focusing on local stuff if you can bc you don't want to just talk about work/home. Also work out. A lot. Sleep better/feel better.

2. Definitely do Facetime/similar. Setup dates. Make sure to ask about them and don't just brain dump your day. Make contact intermittently in between (intermittent reinforcement!) to brighten their day. A random Care Package (for them!) can help.

3. Try and plan a couple of trips to see each other. Leave work stuff at work and focus on you two. Do some of your fav things.

Just some stuff I picked up along the way.

 

[deleted343839]

Congratulations to all who matched!!! If you didn't match to your top choice, or if even your top choice(s) have drawbacks, take heart. You are doing what you need to be doing and you will figure it out!

Tonight I raise my traditional Friday night wine glass to you!

 

[vgitbp]

I understand. My husband and I have been living apart for years now so I can finish a PhD (he is in the military). I will try to find a postdoc where he is stationed. Distance is hard, but it is possible.

It is helpful to be reminded that lots of couples make it work!

 

[awishingstar]

My husband and I got married in Aug 2016 and started long distance in Sept 2016. We're doing 8 months distance (just about done!!). He helped me move and hung out with me in my new city for two weeks, and we've seen each other a lot and always had the next trip booked before we said goodbye. We're taking a "hurray it's over" trip at the end to celebrate. We chat on gchat and text all day, and we facetime fairly often, and we always ask what the other person is having for dinner. Long distance is tough but you got this far, you're masters of keeping up a human connection. All will be well. 🙂

 

[CheetahGirl]

Feeling so conflicted and overwhelmed! I matched to my top choice -- YAY! I'm done with this crazy process -- YAY! But I also need to move away from my partner and be apart from them for a whole year. This feels really hard, and I'm struggling to feel very excited right now. 🤔

My first two years of marriage, my husband and I lived apart (would see each other on the weekends, or have 10 days apart, then 5 days together). Frankly, it kept the love alive and we continued to be so kind to each other as a result. (Fast forward....to many years together, we're so nasty to each other, and have to give each other time out on weekly basis. Just kidding.) Hope it all works out.

Good luck and congratulations on matching!

 

[PsychPhDone]

It is helpful to be reminded that lots of couples make it work!

My husband and I went long distance for internship (as did most of the couples I know, actually). More than half of us in my internship cohort actually had gone long distance (Thanks, APPIC!), so it was an especially supportive environment to complete training at. We talked every day and visited each other at least monthly, usually twice monthly. If you're a flight away, I recommend getting TSA PreCheck or similar and sticking to one airline as much as possible to accumulate miles/status. Also consider getting that airline's credit card or a travel-oriented credit card.

 

[ellenew]

It is helpful to be reminded that lots of couples make it work!

Absolutely. We have been long distance 6 out of 8 years together to pursue our careers. I'm not looking forward to another year of long distance marriage, but it is possible. I hope others recognize this and feel somewhat comforted that others have made it through.

 

[ellenew]

My husband and I got married in Aug 2016 and started long distance in Sept 2016. We're doing 8 months distance (just about done!!). He helped me move and hung out with me in my new city for two weeks, and we've seen each other a lot and always had the next trip booked before we said goodbye. We're taking a "hurray it's over" trip at the end to celebrate. We chat on gchat and text all day, and we facetime fairly often, and we always ask what the other person is having for dinner. Long distance is tough but you got this far, you're masters of keeping up a human connection. All will be well. 🙂

Glad that it is almost over! My husband and I have been long distance for 6/8 years 🙁 Just one more year of internship and then I'll be back with him (just as he deploys...womp womp.)

 

[Beezlebub]

Glad that it is almost over! My husband and I have been long distance for 6/8 years 🙁 Just one more year of internship and then I'll be back with him (just as he deploys...womp womp.)

Damn that's true love.

 

[ellenew]

Damn that's true love.

Yeah...It has been tough at times, especially with him being in the military. His frequent moves and deployments have made it difficult to try to find schooling near him. So we decided to do long distance. Since starting my program almost 5 years ago, he has been moved 6 times. There is no way I could have pursued this degree while with him.

 

[Beezlebub]

Yeah...It has been tough at times, especially with him being in the military. His frequent moves and deployments have made it difficult to try to find schooling near him. So we decided to do long distance. Since starting my program almost 5 years ago, he has been moved 6 times. There is no way I could have pursued this degree while with him.

All the best. I hope you guys will settle down soon together (or at least within starbucks distance).

 

[Lola917]

Double post--also matched #1 but will have to live an airplane ride away from my spouse. Thrilled but nervous now that it is real. There needs to be a support group for this!

Just wanted to let you know it is not so difficult and can even be fun if your spouse is supportive. My fiancé (now husband) were coasts apart for the entirety of my doctoral program. The time apart made the time together feel like a mini-vacation, and upcoming plans to see each other made the time in between fly by pretty fast! It really helped us to just accept the situation and try to make it as enjoyable as possible. With internship not starting for a few months, it gives you and your spouse enough time work out schedules and make plans for short visits. Also, since post-docs are much easier to obtain, you will be back with your spouse before you know it! 🙂