Med school or marriage??

[cmattox]

Hey guys want some view points on my current situation..
I am 37 non traditional student.. I was married for 10 in my 20s then divorced. I have 3 kids from that marriage. I got divorced because there was no support of my dreams mainly med school. After my divorce I proceeded to get my premed course done since my BS was in Business. During this time i was bombarded by life, kids support payments etc.. all of this conviced me to put my med school dream on hold. About 3 yrs ago I got remarried and again felt like family first therefore no med school.. Now I am chomping at the bit to apply for school but am having problems with my wife support this avenue of travel..

Here is my question is it more important to follow your dreams in life and be happy or sacrifice them for family or money etc.. and always have that what if feeling..

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[dpmd]

Hey guys want some view points on my current situation..
I am 37 non traditional student.. I was married for 10 in my 20s then divorced. I have 3 kids from that marriage. I got divorced because there was no support of my dreams mainly med school. After my divorce I proceeded to get my premed course done since my BS was in Business. During this time i was bombarded by life, kids support payments etc.. all of this conviced me to put my med school dream on hold. About 3 yrs ago I got remarried and again felt like family first therefore no med school.. Now I am chomping at the bit to apply for school but am having problems with my wife support this avenue of travel..

Here is my question is it more important to follow your dreams in life and be happy or sacrifice them for family or money etc.. and always have that what if feeling..

If it was truly your dream, you would have been more careful selecting your second partner after the first marriage failed due to conflict over it. So it seems more like med school is a whim of yours that you aren't consistent on and therefore probanly not something you should have sacrificed family over the first time and shouldn't now.

 

[deleted480308]

Take care of your kids first

 

[cmattox]

Take care of your kids first

Of course the kids come first which is why I didnt go to school before.. but now the kids are old enough and will be out of the house in the next year. My problem now is convincing my wife that I should change my life at become a dr at 37/38.

 

[deleted859689]

Of course the kids come first which is why I didnt go to school before.. but now the kids are old enough and will be out of the house in the next year. My problem now is convincing my wife that I should change my life at become a dr at 37/38.

Medschool without an acceptance is already a big gamble. You need the MCAT score, GPA, and ECs. I wouldn’t talk about leaving anyone you “love” behind until you have that acceptance. If pursuing medicine is detrimental to your family, family first. If you have the money saved up and have a tangible plan for getting into medical school, and your family will not take a financial hit etc, then I would go for it. My significant other would support me through anything, and I them.

 

[deleted480308]

Of course the kids come first which is why I didnt go to school before.. but now the kids are old enough and will be out of the house in the next year. My problem now is convincing my wife that I should change my life at become a dr at 37/38.

medicine isn't worth messing up a good marriage for

 

[Ms Procrastinator]

Medschool without an acceptance is already a big gamble. You need the MCAT score, GPA, and ECs. I wouldn’t talk about leaving anyone you “love” behind until you have that acceptance. If pursuing medicine is detrimental to your family, family first. If you have the money saved up and have a tangible plan for getting into medical school, and your family will not take a financial hit etc, then I would go for it. My significant other would support me through anything, and I them.

I agree with sheesh here. It's one thing to want to become a doctor and it's another thing to actually succeed in becoming one. Are you getting your app together or are you just thinking about it so far? What made you not pursue medicine during the gap between your first and second marriage if the first one was what prevented you in the first place? Were you working on getting your app together then?

Did you inform your second spouse that this was a dream of yours any time before you got serious enough about marriage. It should have been something you brought up before marriage considering what happened in your previous marriage. I really wish that I could offer you some words of encouragement, but it seems like medicine is a deal breaker for the second spouse too. It should have been something you discussed with them well before marriage unfortunately.

Is age, time, or money the deal breaker for your spouse?

 

[Seb345]

Med school is a life long thing, and I feel like it's going to be hard for you to start it now at this age, it takes hours and sweat and weeks away from home in the traditional sense with the studying, and rotations and on-calls so unless you have the full support of your partner it's honestly not worth it

 

[that redhead]

Here is my question is it more important to follow your dreams in life and be happy or sacrifice them for family or money etc.. and always have that what if feeling..

“Following your dreams” and “being happy” are not always one and the same. I think our generation is high on the “~*do what you love!!!1!*~” mentality compared to our parents and their parents who (in general) simply wanted a solid job to make a living and support their families. Not to say that the latter is the “right” way to approach life, but neither is the whole concept of dropping everything just to pursue something that may or may not work out and may or may not lead to the happiness envisioned.

How close are you to being able to apply to med school? What are your wife’s concerns about you going if accepted? Is there some other career change you could make that wouldn’t require the same degree of financial leap and time commitment that would still fulfill the intrigues of being a physician?

 

[Laradd]

I know that feeling! Prioritize family first and when kids gets old enough you can continue your med school.