Mentioning being a “pushover” as a weakness?

[993444]

I’ve always been known as the gentle, mellow, go with the flow kind of guy. Usually this is good because it earns me the title of being “adaptable” and a “team player”.

However, on countless occasions this is extended to the point of me being a pushover. Is it ok for me to mention this as an honest weakness?

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[LizzyM]

What are you doing to correct this weakness? How successful have you been in your efforts to correct this weakness? How do you measure success in this instance?

 

[993444]

What are you doing to correct this weakness? How successful have you been in your efforts to correct this weakness? How do you measure success in this instance?

I've gotten much better at deciphering whether or not I'm being taken advantage of in a certain situation and responding appropriately. For example, if someone at work who is on the same level as I am asks me to do their job, I try to assess why they can't do it and whether it will benefit the team if I did it instead of them. If the person is truly running short on time, I will do it with the expectation that the favor will be returned. If the person isn't familiar or skilled with it, I will show them but not do it for them. If the person has ample time to do it and knows how to do it, I will ask why they need me to do it. Usually the response is "but you're so much better at this!" after which my response is "well this is a perfect time to improve your skills!". The big question is how the task affects the whole team. I show a much higher level of pushback if the person is trying to get me to do something tedious that they just don't want to do. I only do this with my same level peers. NEVER with a supervisor.

The biggest problem I am facing is that people are so used to my easy-goingness. So the moment I display hesitation they start to think I'm going through the male version of a menstrual cycle ('man-period').

 

[LizzyM]

I've gotten much better at deciphering whether or not I'm being taken advantage of in a certain situation and responding appropriately. For example, if someone at work who is on the same level as I am asks me to do their job, I try to assess why they can't do it and whether it will benefit the team if I did it instead of them. If the person is truly running short on time, I will do it with the expectation that the favor will be returned. If the person isn't familiar or skilled with it, I will show them but not do it for them. If the person has ample time to do it and knows how to do it, I will ask why they need me to do it. Usually the response is "but you're so much better at this!" after which my response is "well this is a perfect time to improve your skills!". The big question is how the task affects the whole team. I show a much higher level of pushback if the person is trying to get me to do something tedious that they just don't want to do. I only do this with my same level peers. NEVER with a supervisor.

The biggest problem I am facing is that people are so used to my easy-goingness. So the moment I display hesitation they start to think I'm going through the male version of a menstrual cycle ('man-period').

OK, so you are trying not to be taken advantage of by understanding the other person's motivation and working to deflect the request when it appropriate to do so. That's reasonable.

 

[993444]

OK, so you are trying not to be taken advantage of by understanding the other person's motivation and working to deflect the request when it appropriate to do so. That's reasonable.

Thanks! However, are sure that it's a safe topic?

So I'm worried that bringing up the fact that I am working on not being a pushover anymore will raise a red flag.

 

[907914]

Essentially, you have to be a pushover in med school and residency.

There is a difference between being a pushover and recognizing your place in the hierarchy.

During M1 and M2, you are a student. There is typically open door policy, you are free to ask questions of faculty (avoiding questioning clinical decisions, but asking why they are that way). You are not a leader outside of group projects. You are not a follower outside of the grading scheme. You are not in the hierarchy, but you respect everyone within it.

During M3, you are at the bottom of the totem pole. You are a leader to the M1 and M2 if the opportunity presents, but you have no say over anything within the actual structure of things. Moving up the pole to M4 all the way through PGY-X and attending, each step up the ladder yields additional leadership and responsibility, but you are ALWAYS under someone. You CANNOT be a pushover as you are inherently a member of the hierarchy and WILL have people under you who you MUST take charge of. However, you will also ALWAYS have someone above you, where you need to respect the hierarchy.

Truth be told, 3/4 of being in a hierarchy is being at the right place, in the right uniform, at the right time, with the right attitude.

Learn it, love it, live it.


This ends my extra HOOAH rant.

 

[LizzyM]

Thanks! However, are sure that it's a safe topic? I know that med school and residency is brutal and it will require 60 hours of grunt work every week and getting blamed for things that aren't my fault. Essentially, you have to be a pushover in med school and residency.

So I'm worried that bringing up the fact that I am working on not being a pushover anymore will raise a red flag.

Maybe the word doesn't mean the same thing to me as it does to you. To me it means that you cave in or give in to the will of another against your better judgment or although you know you shouldn't.

Memelord types more than I do, and faster, too.

 

[and 99 others]

I understand that with greatest weakness questions, you're supposed to show steps you take to overcome the weakness. But if it's something you've overcome, doesn't it stop being a weakness? And if it isn't something you've overcome, doesn't that just show that the steps you've taken to overcome it are ineffective and again just reflect poorly on you, added on to the negativity of your weakness?

 

[LizzyM]

I understand that with greatest weakness questions, you're supposed to show steps you take to overcome the weakness. But if it's something you've overcome, doesn't it stop being a weakness? And if it isn't something you've overcome, doesn't that just show that the steps you've taken to overcome it are ineffective and again just reflect poorly on you, added on to the negativity of your weakness?

Your weakness is a battle with human nature. You can be changing and working to improve but a weakness is always going to be there perhaps becoming weaker as you become stronger but it is always going to be there below the surface. My weakness is sweets and I've found ways to reduce my consumption but I've not overcome it entirely but I don't believe this makes me a failure.

 

[honeybee87]

There is a difference between being a pushover and recognizing your place in the hierarchy.

During M1 and M2, you are a student. There is typically open door policy, you are free to ask questions of faculty (avoiding questioning clinical decisions, but asking why they are that way). You are not a leader outside of group projects. You are not a follower outside of the grading scheme. You are not in the hierarchy, but you respect everyone within it.

During M3, you are at the bottom of the totem pole. You are a leader to the M1 and M2 if the opportunity presents, but you have no say over anything within the actual structure of things. Moving up the pole to M4 all the way through PGY-X and attending, each step up the ladder yields additional leadership and responsibility, but you are ALWAYS under someone. You CANNOT be a pushover as you are inherently a member of the hierarchy and WILL have people under you who you MUST take charge of. However, you will also ALWAYS have someone above you, where you need to respect the hierarchy.

Truth be told, 3/4 of being in a hierarchy is being at the right place, in the right uniform, at the right time, with the right attitude.

Learn it, love it, live it.


This ends my extra HOOAH rant.

I wouldn’t write it this way at all. This seems like a very robotic way of looking at things that seems way too disciplined and someone who is a stickler for rules (in a bad way, like that kid who doesn’t do the right thing because they are so caught up on the rules). Not saying to put anything in ur essay that goes against the roles, but instead word the essay so that the theme is based around a team setting rather than a hierarchy. Of course the reality is a hierarchy. But you don’t want to say it that way. That’s like saying one of the main reasons you want to be a doctor is to have a stable job/income lol. You want to word it in such a way that shows that you understand the situation and will work as a valuable member of the team, not hierarchy

 

[and 99 others]

Your weakness is a battle with human nature. You can be changing and working to improve but a weakness is always going to be there perhaps becoming weaker as you become stronger but it is always going to be there below the surface. My weakness is sweets and I've found ways to reduce my consumption but I've not overcome it entirely but I don't believe this makes me a failure.

Thank you! This is very well put and cleared things up for me.

 

[993444]

I wouldn’t write it this way at all. This seems like a very robotic way of looking at things that seems way too disciplined and someone who is a stickler for rules (in a bad way, like that kid who doesn’t do the right thing because they are so caught up on the rules). Not saying to put anything in ur essay that goes against the roles, but instead word the essay so that the theme is based around a team setting rather than a hierarchy. Of course the reality is a hierarchy. But you don’t want to say it that way. That’s like saying one of the main reasons you want to be a doctor is to have a stable job/income lol. You want to word it in such a way that shows that you understand the situation and will work as a valuable member of the team, not hierarchy

He works for the Army. Guess that’s just what he is used to.

 

[907914]

He works for the Army. Guess that’s just what he is used to.

This is it, yes. I very much understand and operate within the hierarchy. Medicine is not as strict as the way I put it obvi, but knowing your place on the care team is essential.

 

[honeybee87]

He works for the Army. Guess that’s just what he is used to.

Yeh I know. Which makes it even worse in my opinion cuz it looks very stiff. As a doctor, that’s one trait you don’t want to have lol. You want to appear/be very open

 

[907914]

I wouldn’t write it this way at all. This seems like a very robotic way of looking at things that seems way too disciplined and someone who is a stickler for rules (in a bad way, like that kid who doesn’t do the right thing because they are so caught up on the rules). Not saying to put anything in ur essay that goes against the roles, but instead word the essay so that the theme is based around a team setting rather than a hierarchy. Of course the reality is a hierarchy. But you don’t want to say it that way. That’s like saying one of the main reasons you want to be a doctor is to have a stable job/income lol. You want to word it in such a way that shows that you understand the situation and will work as a valuable member of the team, not hierarchy

I wouldn’t have it anywhere near this in an essay lol that would be WAY too intense and very offputting.

 

[907914]

Yeh I know. Which makes it even worse in my opinion cuz it looks very stiff. As a doctor, that’s one trait you don’t want to have lol. You want to appear/be very open

Very open and welcoming =/= respectful of those both above and below me.

 

[honeybee87]

I wouldn’t have it anywhere near this in an essay lol that would be WAY too intense and very offputting.

Yeh that’s what I thought as well just wanted to clarify for op cuz it was vague

 

[honeybee87]

Very open and welcoming =/= respectful of those both above and below me.

I didn’t say you weren’t respectful. I just said the way you worded your original response sounded like you were a robot constricted to a hierarchy system which op should avoid wording his wassay like especially when In reality medicine is not that at all; it is a team based system where everyone, even the medical student has some role, even if it’s just getting a blanket for the family in the code room

 

[907914]

Yeh that’s what I thought as well just wanted to clarify for op cuz it was vague

Sorry if that was confusing, OP. What I was describing was not for your essay but for an understanding of the structure so you understand you can’t be a pushover. The social aspects, mannerisms, all that jazz are separated

 

[907914]

I didn’t say you weren’t respectful. I just said the way you worded your original response sounded like you were a robot constricted to a hierarchy system when in reality medicine is not that at all; it is a team based system where everyone, even the medical student has some role, even if it’s just getting a blanket for the family in the code room

It is a team based environment and the team is crucial. However, there is a hierarchy to that team.

 

[993444]

Sorry if that was confusing, OP. What I was describing was not for your essay but for an understanding of the structure so you understand you can’t be a pushover. The social aspects, mannerisms, all that jazz are separated

It’s ok lol. It didn’t need further clarification. I knew instantly that working for the army had an influence on your tone.

What I originally meant is that there can be a lot of peer to peer bullying in medicine. Not necessarily all hierarchy.

 

[honeybee87]

It is a team based environment and the team is crucial. However, there is a hierarchy to that team.

I agree. But please for the love of god quit saying that cuz some poor sucker will actually say that in an interview or something along the lines of “the physician is at the top in the medical team due to the hierarchy”. It’s true but I feel like for statements like that you need to put a disclaimer or some crap on there lol

 

[993444]

I agree. But please for the love of god quit saying that cuz some poor sucker will actually say that in an interview or something along the lines of “the physician is at the top in the medical team due to the hierarchy”. It’s true but I feel like for statements like that you need to put a disclaimer or some crap on there lol

It’s not about what you say but how you say it.

“The attending’s orders must always be obeyed by the residents and medical students since he or she has the most experience treating patients.”

 

[honeybee87]

It’s not about what you say but how you say it.

“The attending’s orders must always be obeyed by the residents and medical students since he or she has the most experience treating patients.”

OP, I’m not even gonna lie here, but even without reading the OP I can already tell ur a pushover backing up the army guy lol.

And that’s common sense stuff, when would you give that as an actual response for an interview lol? What merit does that response give? My response would still be better than urs cuz I bring team-work and all the associated traits with it (listening, communication, task delegation if applicable), while u just bring obedience. Point being is that while what you said is 100% true, it doesn’t really say much, whereas my statement says a lot more. Hence why I called you a pushover

 

[Dr. Faust]

Maybe phrase it....."putting other's opinions above my own?" Sounds a little gentler, just an opinion.

 

[993444]

OP, I’m not even gonna lie here, but even without reading the OP I can already tell ur a pushover backing up the army guy lol.

And that’s common sense stuff, when would you give that as an actual response for an interview lol? What merit does that response give? My response would still be better than urs cuz I bring team-work and all the associated traits with it (listening, communication, task delegation if applicable), while u just bring obedience. Point being is that while what you said is 100% true, it doesn’t really say much, whereas my statement says a lot more. Hence why I called you a pushover

The army guy aka @MemeLord and I literally just had the biggest Washington vs California pissing contest in another thread (which I totally won).

So no, I’m not a pushover by backing him up LOL

 

[907914]

OP, I’m not even gonna lie here, but even without reading the OP I can already tell ur a pushover backing up the army guy lol.

And that’s common sense stuff, when would you give that as an actual response for an interview lol? What merit does that response give? My response would still be better than urs cuz I bring team-work and all the associated traits with it (listening, communication, task delegation if applicable), while u just bring obedience. Point being is that while what you said is 100% true, it doesn’t really say much, whereas my statement says a lot more. Hence why I called you a pushover

Obedience is the opposite side of the coin to leadership. Both are necessary traits within a team.

 

[fruitcake2511]

I've gotten much better at deciphering whether or not I'm being taken advantage of in a certain situation and responding appropriately. For example, if someone at work who is on the same level as I am asks me to do their job, I try to assess why they can't do it and whether it will benefit the team if I did it instead of them. If the person is truly running short on time, I will do it with the expectation that the favor will be returned. If the person isn't familiar or skilled with it, I will show them but not do it for them. If the person has ample time to do it and knows how to do it, I will ask why they need me to do it. Usually the response is "but you're so much better at this!" after which my response is "well this is a perfect time to improve your skills!". The big question is how the task affects the whole team. I show a much higher level of pushback if the person is trying to get me to do something tedious that they just don't want to do. I only do this with my same level peers. NEVER with a supervisor.

The biggest problem I am facing is that people are so used to my easy-goingness. So the moment I display hesitation they start to think I'm going through the male version of a menstrual cycle ('man-period').

Wow, I have never related to something more in my entire life. I feel as though I am you, but in female form. The whole mellow/easy-going pushover persona has basically been my identity since I took my first breath. I thought I was the only one! Have struggled with this immensely, becoming clearer to me now when I'm being taken advantage of, but it's an incredibly frustrating thing to deal with as I'm sure you know.

 

[premedprepa]

I've got the same dilemma and find it to be a huge weakness -- don't know if adcoms would appreciate it though in an interview, etc

 

[Cornfed101]

I've got the same dilemma and find it to be a huge weakness -- don't know if adcoms would appreciate it though in an interview, etc

A real weakness is something they want you to talk about if you can talk about how you’ve worked to address it. There is a sweet spot. Don’t say your greatest weakness is alcoholism, also don’t say something cliche like “I’m a perfectionist,” or “I just care too much about people” those last two are terrible answers because they don’t really answer the question and adcoms aren’t stupid. Saying that you are a pushover definitely qualifies, but like has been said earlier, you have to be actively working on it and if you have examples/stories of progress then that’s ideal.

 

[Dwight Snoot]

I mentioned this during my interview. Said something like sometimes I have a hard time saying no to favors even I know I really shouldn't. Worked for me.