My Aloof Mentor

[Curlyfriez12]

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I , and 5 other of my MS2 peers, share a mentor (old general surgeon) who seems to ignore me every time the 6 of us MS2's meet him.

Since you guys have been kind enough to help me out with another thread, I'd like to ask you this: How can I get his attention back? How do you guys impress your attendings/mentors?

He used to tolerate all 6 of us equally when we started with him, but now he ignores me.

Thanks

 

[officedepot]

most likely it's just your own insecurity. Speak up. Ask questions. Appear interested. Be engaged in whatever conversation is going on.

but don't be annoying

 

[Beta Cell]

Establish dominance. Answer his questions with more questions. Stare at him awkwardly. Don't stop even if he says anything. If he starts to speak, speak over him.

 

[MediCynical]

Establish dominance. Answer his questions with more questions. Stare at him awkwardly. Don't stop even if he says anything. If he starts to speak, speak over him.

 

[Curlyfriez12]

Establish dominance. Answer his questions with more questions. Stare at him awkwardly. Don't stop even if he says anything. If he starts to speak, speak over him.

You kid, but my mentor turns to the alpha in my group first when he wants to ask us a question. And that alpha is not me. Sometimes I think it is just that sort of tolerable dominance that my mentor is looking for.

 

[ucsfstudents]

I think you should speak up and speak directly to this mentor if you want them to pay attention. If you are truly being ignored, find another mentor.

 

[fiznat]

Sorry, maybe I missed the reason why you care or why it matters whether your mentor pays attention to you? Is he handing out gold nuggets?

 

[Curlyfriez12]

Sorry, maybe I missed the reason why you care or why it matters whether your mentor pays attention to you? Is he handing out gold nuggets?

He writes us a recommendation letter, and not to mention how awful I feel while being ignored.

 

[mmmcdowe]

Was execting scrubs reference. Was disappoint.

 

[isoquin]

It's important to first establish that this is actual academic neglect, and not observation bias. If such immaturity is being manifested such that the mentor won't actually acknowledge your presence in the room, then you actually should be doing something about it. You do not want someone eventually writing your dean's letter who knows nothing about you, and has an overall negative opinion of you for some unknown reason. Can you ask to be placed in another mentor's group? I think it would be a big move, but possibly worth it. Again, start by asking other people in the group if they notice it to get an outside perspective.

 

[Isoprop]

Is this some sort of requirement like a preceptorship? If not, why not just pick another mentor?

 

[VisionaryTics]

Sack up, stop posting whiny messages on SDN, and show him that you've got enough cajones for him to give a damn about you.

Most attendings see 3000 juniors a day, ignoring them. Why should he care about the quiet, shy MS2 in the corner? He doesn't give a damn about whether you feel ignored, so engage him. Be proactive.

If that's not your personality, fine, but get used to standing in the corner quietly.

 

[Curlyfriez12]

Sack up, stop posting whiny messages on SDN, and show him that you've got enough cajones for him to give a damn about you.

Most attendings see 3000 juniors a day, ignoring them. Why should he care about the quiet, shy MS2 in the corner? He doesn't give a damn about whether you feel ignored, so engage him. Be proactive.

If that's not your personality, fine, but get used to standing in the corner quietly.

Harsh, but probably what I needed to hear. I have a feeling he doesn't engage me because I am so soft spoken. I just needed to hear it from someone else.

But in the back of my mind, I was hoping someone would give me a more creative solution than "Man up and speak out!"

 

[Morsetlis]

Establish dominance. Answer his questions with more questions. Stare at him awkwardly. Don't stop even if he says anything. If he starts to speak, speak over him.

I want your playbook!

 

[SouthSideSteve]

Establish dominance. Answer his questions with more questions. Stare at him awkwardly. Don't stop even if he says anything. If he starts to speak, speak over him.

this. he can't ignore you if you do this.

 

[Spatula]

Is this a title of a scrubs episode?

 

[Freakfarm0]

Give him some free ****. Surgeon's love free ****. Especially old surgeons.

 

[Curlyfriez12]

Give him some free ****. Surgeon's love free ****. Especially old surgeons.

I would, if he were gay.

 

[KTD]

Don't worry too much about it. Residencies want a rec from someone who has observed you clinically, so unless you have your mentor as an attending next year you probably won't get a rec from him anyway.

 

[DeadCactus]

Establish dominance. Answer his questions with more questions. Stare at him awkwardly. Don't stop even if he says anything. If he starts to speak, speak over him.

 

[gravitywave]

get a new mentor, or otherwise just ignore this issue completely. you're MS2: unless this person is going to be working with you in 3rd year as well, i don't think you need to care about what he thinks of you.

 

[Curlyfriez12]

get a new mentor, or otherwise just ignore this issue completely. you're MS2: unless this person is going to be working with you in 3rd year as well, i don't think you need to care about what he thinks of you.

Yes, this person is going to be my surgery attending next year.

 

[LRAccord624]

Yes, this person is going to be my surgery attending next year.

In this case, study the **** out of stuff beforehand and speak up. You have the chance to have contact with your future surgery attending in a small group setting as an MS2, so either get out before he knows who you are or you should sure as hell try your best to create a good relationship with him and get him to respect you. Seems like that could really help you during third year.