Sorry for the rather long post but I needed to include some important details regarding this situation. I'm hoping someone here can help me with the technical knowledge related to this problem. I'm just trying to see how to best handle this situation without destroying my brothers career. Here is the short version of the situation:
My brother is a pgy-1 at a hospital. He got his first hospital pick matched and was very excited to work at the hospital that he fell in love with. His girlfriend of of 4 years was supposed to move with him to that state. Long story short, she broke up with him right before they were supposed to move. He has tried desperately to get back with her for months with no success. Since I'm good friends with his GF I have spoken with her. She has bluntly told me that there is zero chance she will ever get back together with him.
She hasn't been this blunt with him (because of his mental state) but she has made it clear to him that she does not want to be in a relationship with him. So my brother has basically snapped. His mindset is "either she will be with me or I will kill myself no matter what else happens or whoever else I hurt." And it doesn't help that he is all alone, away from all his friends and family in another state. I think being alone has helped to make his suicidal tendencies even worse because he has no one close to him. Just to illustrate how serious he is about killing himself here are a few examples:
1.He is extremely religious and doesn't care that he will go to hell.
2. Doesn't care anymore that our father will probably have a heart attack and die when he gets this news. Currently, our father is in very poor health.
3. My brother is so trustworthy that I wouldn't even worry about a penny missing if I left millions of dollars solely under his control. Yet, I have made some future investments that will end up costing me hundreds of thousands of dollars if he kills himself. The details aren't important and are complicated. I just wanted to use this example to show just how far off the horse he has fallen. The man who wont steal a penny doesn't even care that he will cause me to lose a significant amount of money. By the way he agreed to these investments a while back and said he was fully committed no matter what happens.
4. No amount of logic, empathy, support or help offered to him has swayed him in the last 6 months. All he does is talk about getting back with her, ignores any/all logic and says he will soon kill himself if she doesn't get back with him (he has already made detailed plans).
5. He said he is not doing well in residency. He said there have already been complaints made about him. Furthermore, his depression has made him antisocial. So he hasn't made friends with fellow residents and he said he is not very well liked by the residents or the doctors that evaluate him.
So here is my rather complicated question:
How do I get him help without ruining his career/getting his medical license revoked? He has over $300K in student debt and not being able to practice medicine (and the salary that goes with it) would lead to him wanting to kill himself even more. I have made some assumptions based on my knowledge (which is rather limited) of someone who is in residency. So if someone could please help clarify some of the assumptions I have and give me any advice I would be extremely grateful.
Assumptions/further questions:
-I cant have him baker acted because then he would get kicked out of residency and lose his medical license.
-He cant get psychiatric help through his health insurance because it would lead to them reporting him. This is because he has insurance through his hospital and any psychiatrist he sees would be employed by the hospital. So this would lead to the same result as being baker acted.
-Can he quit residency to get help and have a realistic chance of ever getting another residency somewhere else so he can eventually practice medicine?
-What about drugs? At this point I'm even ok if he can cope by taking illegal drugs. But do residency programs conduct random drug tests on residents?
-Also can I pay out of pocket for a private psychiatrist to get him help? I know that a psychiatrist outside his insurance network will not report his condition to anyone unless he is an immediate danger to himself/others. However, what about if he is given prescription drugs? Can his hospital somehow find out he is taking them even if I pay for it all out of pocket without going through his insurance?
Please any help, suggestion or ideas would be greatly appreciated because I'm at my wits end!! My brother is a good man and I don't want to see him throw his life away when he is so close to being set for life!
My brother is a pgy-1 at a hospital. He got his first hospital pick matched and was very excited to work at the hospital that he fell in love with. His girlfriend of of 4 years was supposed to move with him to that state. Long story short, she broke up with him right before they were supposed to move. He has tried desperately to get back with her for months with no success. Since I'm good friends with his GF I have spoken with her. She has bluntly told me that there is zero chance she will ever get back together with him.
She hasn't been this blunt with him (because of his mental state) but she has made it clear to him that she does not want to be in a relationship with him. So my brother has basically snapped. His mindset is "either she will be with me or I will kill myself no matter what else happens or whoever else I hurt." And it doesn't help that he is all alone, away from all his friends and family in another state. I think being alone has helped to make his suicidal tendencies even worse because he has no one close to him. Just to illustrate how serious he is about killing himself here are a few examples:
1.He is extremely religious and doesn't care that he will go to hell.
2. Doesn't care anymore that our father will probably have a heart attack and die when he gets this news. Currently, our father is in very poor health.
3. My brother is so trustworthy that I wouldn't even worry about a penny missing if I left millions of dollars solely under his control. Yet, I have made some future investments that will end up costing me hundreds of thousands of dollars if he kills himself. The details aren't important and are complicated. I just wanted to use this example to show just how far off the horse he has fallen. The man who wont steal a penny doesn't even care that he will cause me to lose a significant amount of money. By the way he agreed to these investments a while back and said he was fully committed no matter what happens.
4. No amount of logic, empathy, support or help offered to him has swayed him in the last 6 months. All he does is talk about getting back with her, ignores any/all logic and says he will soon kill himself if she doesn't get back with him (he has already made detailed plans).
5. He said he is not doing well in residency. He said there have already been complaints made about him. Furthermore, his depression has made him antisocial. So he hasn't made friends with fellow residents and he said he is not very well liked by the residents or the doctors that evaluate him.
So here is my rather complicated question:
How do I get him help without ruining his career/getting his medical license revoked? He has over $300K in student debt and not being able to practice medicine (and the salary that goes with it) would lead to him wanting to kill himself even more. I have made some assumptions based on my knowledge (which is rather limited) of someone who is in residency. So if someone could please help clarify some of the assumptions I have and give me any advice I would be extremely grateful.
Assumptions/further questions:
-I cant have him baker acted because then he would get kicked out of residency and lose his medical license.
-He cant get psychiatric help through his health insurance because it would lead to them reporting him. This is because he has insurance through his hospital and any psychiatrist he sees would be employed by the hospital. So this would lead to the same result as being baker acted.
-Can he quit residency to get help and have a realistic chance of ever getting another residency somewhere else so he can eventually practice medicine?
-What about drugs? At this point I'm even ok if he can cope by taking illegal drugs. But do residency programs conduct random drug tests on residents?
-Also can I pay out of pocket for a private psychiatrist to get him help? I know that a psychiatrist outside his insurance network will not report his condition to anyone unless he is an immediate danger to himself/others. However, what about if he is given prescription drugs? Can his hospital somehow find out he is taking them even if I pay for it all out of pocket without going through his insurance?
Please any help, suggestion or ideas would be greatly appreciated because I'm at my wits end!! My brother is a good man and I don't want to see him throw his life away when he is so close to being set for life!
