My girlfriend just dumped me 4 weeks before my MCAT exam, any advice?

[James Corcoran]

We have been dating for 3 years, she is the love of my life and I thought for sure we would end up married at some point in the future.

However, she just dumped me yesterday and my MCAT is in 4 weeks. I have been trying to study yesterday and today but have been completely unsuccessful and distracted/upset I don't think I learned a thing. What can I do? There is still a decent amount of material I need to review.

I went to see my doctor and he said he would give me a prescription for adderall until I take the exam, should I do this/would it even help?

The worst part is, she keeps contacting me and saying she really wants to be friends and telling me how sad she is that we are not together anymore...which is very hypocritical.

Thank-you.

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[James Corcoran]

Also, my gf offered to stay in the relationship until after I take the MCAT if I wanted, but I said no because I would know she would just be wanting to break up the entire time. Was this smart or stupid and I should have just tried to pretend everything was ok?

 

[lpp06]

That's a horrible situation, sorry to hear that. Don't let this shatter any sort of confidence you have in your academic abilities

2 options: Either buckle down and wreck it in four weeks or postpone until you feel comfortable whilst still studying intensely.

As for the adderall, I wouldn't recommend it unless you are of course diagnosed with an attention disorder. Yes it will allow you to focus, but on what? The MCAT? Your girlfriend?

As it comes to postponing, 4 weeks out will allow you to still get a good refund and the money you lose registering again can be viewed as an investment into your piece of mind. With an extra 4 weeks to prepare you may very well be able to find renewed focus and confidence and prevent yourself from getting an awful score or even voiding your score.

Personally, I'd view this as an opportunity to do something amazing in spite of a difficult situation.

 

[ConceptUser]

Just go boxing. SHHHH...listen....just go boxing! BTW, the faster you stop communication with her the sooner you'll be over her.

Best of luck my dude!

 

[Lamel]

It's probably best to stop talking to her as hard as it is because it will just be a bigger distraction/more painful. Take a few days off maybe and rejuvenate yourself. Then get a 35+ on the MCAT and shove it in her face.

 

[QofQuimica]

No one is "friends" with an ex the day after the breakup, especially if it's the breakup of a three year relationship. Maybe you can be friends in a few months or years, but not now. It's naive to even entertain such a possibility.

The most important thing for you to do to maintain your sanity is to stop all communication with her. Don't read her texts; don't answer her calls. If you can block her number, do it. If you have to change your number so she can't get a hold of you, do it. Also, don't meet with her in person. Don't even go anywhere that she is likely to be. If you have to go out of town for a few days to avoid running into her, do it.

Second, postpone your MCAT date by a few weeks. It sounds like you got broadsided, and you need some time to get your wits about you. As you have already discovered, trying to study under these circumstances is counterproductive. All those MCAT materials will still be there waiting for you in a few weeks when you're ready to start studying again.

Best of luck.

 

[TheBoneDoctah]

Damn dude. Same thing happened to me last year when I was trying to study. She left me after 7 years about 3 weeks before my exam.

 

[dutchie000]

Awee I'm so sorry!!! What bad timing, but I guess in the case of break ups there never is good timing. Don't let this get you down! Take the advice above: definitely cut communications with her. Really one of the best things you can do. And for the meantime I can be your SDN girlfriend 😛 I promise, I don't look like a minion!

In all seriousness though, you've gotten THIS fair and this is just another bump in the road. Things like this make us stronger. Maybe take some days off from the MCAT, regroup, and then decide how you feel about pushing back your test. I'm sure there is a lot going on in your head, so maybe a little break can help clear things up.

Good luck!!!

 

[deleted480308]

cut ties and move on, cowboy up, rock the mcat

 

[TheBoneDoctah]

Awee I'm so sorry!!! What bad timing, but I guess in the case of break ups there never is good timing. Don't let this get you down! Take the advice above: definitely cut communications with her. Really one of the best things you can do. And for the meantime I can be your SDN girlfriend 😛 I promise, I don't look like a minion!

In all seriousness though, you've gotten THIS fair and this is just another bump in the road. Things like this make us stronger. Maybe take some days off from the MCAT, regroup, and then decide how you feel about pushing back your test. I'm sure there is a lot going on in your head, so maybe a little break can help clear things up.

Good luck!!!

I need a Mcat gf lol jk jk

 

[Saxappeal1]

...how do you guys have time for a gf? /MCATisaharshmistress

 

[txlonghorn2314]

She sounds like a horrible person for being that selfish. I would personally postpone until I got my head cleared up again because you don't want to add insult to injury by doing poorly on the test because you were distracted (this has actually happened to a good friend of mine) It's better to just take some time for yourself, work out, clear your mind, flirt with some cute girls, build confidence, destroy the test, and then hook up with your ex's best friend and tweet about it (totally kidding on the last part...maybe)

 

[dutchie000]

I need a Mcat gf lol jk jk

Ok!! Only if you hold me while I cry after the test 😛

 

[deleted480308]

She sounds like a horrible person for being that selfish. I would personally postpone until I got my head cleared up again because you don't want to add insult to injury by doing poorly on the test because you were distracted (this has actually happened to a good friend of mine) It's better to just take some time for yourself, work out, clear your mind, flirt with some cute girls, build confidence, destroy the test, and then hook up with your ex's best friend and tweet about it (totally kidding on the last part...maybe)

it's not selfish to break up with someone you are dating. there is no need to stay dating out of loyalty. dating is nothing more than testing a relationship for marriage, if you want out, you roll

 

[dutchie000]

...how do you guys have time for a gf? /MCATisaharshmistress

Truth. No boyfriends for dutchie. Just lots of boys and myself being frustrated with my lack of free time

 

[Mad Jack]

Keep dating you until the MCAT is over, lol, wtf. "Yeah, I'm totally not into you but we can like pretend or something until your test is over I guess."

Break off all contact, never speak to her again. Every time you talk to her, it's just tearing that wound open again, even if it doesn't feel that way at the time. The sooner you stop speaking, the sooner you'll be over her. So far as how to approach the MCAT, don't let that bish steal the last few years of your life and your damn future. Study for the MCAT and kill it, ace your classes, and go out and enjoy your life while you're at it. You need to realize that she is the one missing out on you not the other way around. Now go out there and kick some *** and be the best you that you can be. She ain't worth your tears, time, or respect.

 

[txlonghorn2314]

@sb247 It's selfish to break up with someone 3 weeks before one of the most important tests of their life. She knows damn well that would be f#*king with his concentration on this exam, therefore f#*king with his career. She could have been mindful of this and waited till this was over. If she was around for 3 years, she could stick it out another few weeks

 

[deleted480308]

It's selfish to break up with someone 3 weeks before one of the most important tests of their life. She knows damn well that would be f#*king with his concentration on this exam, therefore f#*king with his career. She could have been mindful of this and waited till this was over. If she was around for 3 years, she could stick it out another few weeks

that's middle school thinking. if you are done with a relationship and there is no kids and no marriage, you throw deuces and walk...you don't owe a boyfriend/girlfriend convenient timing for them

 

[jcb123]

Use this as motivation to kill the mcat and show her what she let get away.
But still postpone a little so that u can get ur mind clear

 

[txlonghorn2314]

that's middle school thinking. if you are done with a relationship and there is no kids and no marriage, you throw deuces and walk...you don't owe a boyfriend/girlfriend convenient timing for them

How the hell is that middle school thinking to think it's wrong to have someone dedicate 3 years of their lives to someone who dumps them right before one of the biggest most pivotal moments of their lives? I stand by my opinion that that's a selfish move. It's much more than merely "inconvenient timing".

If they've been together for 3 years then she has seen the entire struggle, effort, and sacrifice that OP probably put into this. To deuce out right before the big day is crappy

 

[deleted480308]

How the hell is that middle school thinking to think it's wrong to have someone dedicate 3 years of their lives to someone who dumps them right before one of the biggest most pivotal moments of their lives? I stand by my opinion that that's a selfish move. It's much more than merely "inconvenient timing".

so a month before the mcat...how many weeks before finals? how many weeks after a pet dies? how many days before a big interview? it's a flawed premise. bf/gf stuff isn't forever, that's why it's not a marriage

 

[txlonghorn2314]

so a month before the mcat...how many weeks before finals? how many weeks after a pet dies? how many days before a big interview? it's a flawed premise. bf/gf stuff isn't forever, that's why it's not a marriage

MCAT >>>>finals
In terms of preparation, stress and difficulty most people would agree that the MCAT>>>>interview
And no one knows when someone dies, but this MCAT date has been known for a long time.

OPs girlfriend has probably been hearing about how important this one exam is to him for a very long time. She has to know how much this would be screwing him up and it's selfish. I might have gone too far by saying she's a horrible person, because I am not aware of their situation, but I do think it's selfish. Now if OP was a huge jerk and had been cheating on her and what not it's a different story. Otherwise, she could have tried to work it out or at least stuck through for 3 weeks.

 

[deleted480308]

MCAT >>>>finals
In terms of preparation, stress and difficulty most people would agree that the MCAT>>>>interview
And no one knows when someone dies, but this MCAT date has been known for a long time.

OPs girlfriend has probably been hearing about how important this one exam is to him for a very long time. She has to know how much this would be screwing him up and it's selfish. I might have gone too far by saying she's a horrible person, because I am not aware of their situation, but I do think it's selfish. Now if OP was a huge jerk and had been cheating on her and what not it's a different story. Otherwise, she could have tried to work it out or at least stuck through for 3 weeks.

throw him a few pity dates and a take-one-for-the-team make out session to keep his spirits up? I think that's insane, we'll just have to disagree on this one

 

[txlonghorn2314]

throw him a few pity dates and a take-one-for-the-team make out session to keep his spirits up? I think that's insane, we'll just have to disagree on this one

I'm just imagining how unbelievably furious I would be if my fiancée dumped me knowing my exam is in 3 weeks after watching me work so hard. But then again, I don't know OP's backstory so it's hard to judge

 

[TheBoneDoctah]

Ok!! Only if you hold me while I cry after the test 😛

Will do. As long as you don't look like a minion.

 

[NontradCA]

so a month before the mcat...how many weeks before finals? how many weeks after a pet dies? how many days before a big interview? it's a flawed premise. bf/gf stuff isn't forever, that's why it's not a marriage

They've been dating for 3 years. I'd say that's a lot of time invested. Also, marriage isn't forever.

 

[deleted480308]

I'm just imagining how unbelievably furious I would be if my fiancée dumped me knowing my exam is in 3 weeks after watching me work so hard. But then again, I don't know OP's backstory so it's hard to judge

I would agree that a fiance' would hurt far more in that situation

 

[justanotherday]

just send her an copy of you score report with 35+ and let her regret for life

 

[RoosterCogburnsGhost]

Nobody can really tell you what to do in this situation. My grandmother passed away three weeks before I took the MCAT, which was a deeper but different type of pain, but I decided to go ahead with the exam, and it wasn't catastrophic by any means. The most important thing to remember is that it's perfectly okay to delay your exam by a few weeks. You don't want to blame her, or yourself, or anybody or anything, really, in case you do poorly. There were a lot fewer test dates when I took it, so it didn't seem practical to delay. These days? It's just the fee, and dealing with stress effectively is worth so much more than the $100 it costs (or however much). So do you, bruh. Power through or make a conscientious decision to take some personal time.

 

[orangeblue]

Again, this is part of growing up and learning to be a multidimensional person . This is one of the price you pay ... romantic relationships do have a lot of perks over being single, but you have to have the maturity to understand and deal with ebbs and flows of another person. You can't have experienced all the good of a relationship and now, not take some of negative effects.

Postphone the test until you are feeling better is a great idea. Don't even sign up for it. Relax. Trust yourself. It'll all fall into place. Don't pressurize yourself to meet a test deadline . Cancel the test date (don't ask for another date) , and let this whole test go for a few days and maybe weeks. The books and everything will be there in the same place when you return.