Need Advice/Encouragement

[HeatherMarie87]

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My name is Heather. I'm 23 years old and a freshman in college. I've dreamed of being a Neonatal surgeon or some other kind of surgeon/dr since I was 9 years old. At the time the dream was simply based on my mom getting diagnosed with cancer and the doctors telling her she had no chance of survival (I'm happy to announce she's been cancer free for 16 years), I decided then I was going to become a dr and save my mommy's life and everyone else's too. Well the dream stuck with me. But I've hit a lot of bumps along the way and have gotten discouraged A LOT! First I flunked out of college right after high school, then I dropped out because I didn't think I could do it and got frustrated with the 12 plus years of schooling, then I joined the Army for a short time before I got discharged and that put me off schedule again, etc. (you get the point). I finally decided to give up and go to nursing school, I'm not officially in the nursing program yet, but I'm close to it but I'm not really following my heart. I feel like I'm taking the easy way out and letting everyone else direct my path for me (everyone thinks I should be a nurse not an MD). I'm confused, I really want to be a dr but I'm scared and frustrated. I don't like being 23 and a freshman, it will make me at least 32 before I even start my residency. I dream of having a family but don't know how possible that will be with being a medical student. I want to have a relationship with my patients instead of them just being another number or paycheck, and I'm worried if that will be possible. Part of me is really worried if I can even achieve this goal or if everyone else is right and I have my hopes too high. And its frustrating knowing I won't be working my dream until I'm much older then the typical student. Its hard going to a university and being surrounded by 18 year olds. I know I'm not the only one going through this dilemma, so does anyone have any advice or wisdom for me!! I would greatly appreciate it, thanks!

 

[NTF]

First of all, welcome to the forums.

My advice is not to get frustrated before you've even started. Life can take weird twists and turns. You never really know how you'll feel 5, 10, 15 years from now. The task you have in front of you now is not being a future doctor, but being the best college student you can be. Continue to pursue your interests with activities and shadowing, but your first priority is to excel academically. By doing well, you'll keep all doors open to you, no matter what you choose to do in the future.

It's true that the desire to raise a family and have a medical career can present a difficult juggling act, but many before you have done it and at every stage of medical training.

You're 23 YO. You're plenty young. I'd do a search in this forum for "nontraditional ages". You'll find a thread that you'll make you realize that for this forum, you're a young 'un.

 

[md2bknox]

You either have to come to terms with the situation or just move on. It's going to take a while, and everyone is on their own time as far as life. People are staying in school longer and their are alot of older students. If it makes you feel better I am in the same situation, 23 years old trying to figure which turn should I make. This is your life, and every year is a special year..It will be the only year you are 23 and next year will be the only year you are 24. So make it happen, life is life..You can take it by balls and suck the life out of it.. Or you can sit idle waiting for some big epiphany (in which you are passively acting on life)..And perhaps as years pass by you realize what are you in a rush for,lol. There is nothing to rush to working, or having a family. It is very doable to have a family, you just have to be on point.
What we are going towards is not easy, and we did not make it easy for ourself (as low gpers, etc) but when we get to there the reward is so great! Don't be afraid or scared, just look at it as an adventure, life is what you kae of it. I look forward to even applying, because that is a feat on it's own. School sucks..life sometimes sucks...I feel like potholes are put in my way so I can mess up the treading on my tires..Every time I do, I find a spare and keep on truckin..Please be realistic though, this is kinda all or nothing. Personally I see no other options...Go in with full force, be sure of yourself, and let no one tell you (unless they have your best interest meaning your goal at heart) it's impossible or maybe there is something else you can do. Hope that helps!

 

[descartes1982]

First, don't be discouraged and there is nothing unusual about starting undergrad at 23. Many of us here have followed unusual paths to get to where we want to go, myself included, although I have yet to begin my med applications. I am 28 and have yet to start medical school. There is nothing wrong with exploring different choices that life has to offer. If anything, I believe your unusual circumstances will make your application stand out given that you graduate with a decent GPA eventually and have a strong MCAT. You are likely far more mature than the bunch of undergrads stuck in the rat race to get into medical school. You have something different to offer through your life experiences and as long as you do well in the next few years, nothing prevents you from medicine. Keep going!

 

[mspeedwagon]

Welcome on-board. I agree that it's important not to be frustrated before starting (this a long and difficult journey with many obstacles to success).

I wanted to address the bolded. First, realize that your GPA as calculated by medical school is that of every college class you have ever taken. The fact that you have flunked out leads me to believe your GPA is VERY low. It likely isn't based on that many credits, but it'll hugely limit your school selection. D.O. schools practice grade replacement and you may hve to re-take the classes you failed to make medical school a reality. Assuming I'm right and you have a few Fs already, then you are starting at a huge disadvantage.

Medical school is school. It isn't life. You can lead a life aside from medicine while in medical school. If you go to mommd.com there are a lot of examples of women have kids at every stage of the medical school process. Schools will work with you to make this a possibility. I'd likely still be in med school when I'm 32 (assuming I am on track with my current timeline).

Finally, while having a relationships with your patients is great (and easier in some fields (oncology) than others (emergency medicine)), don't idealize the medical field. It's a job and while it takes a lot of dedication to become a physician, in the end of the day it days provide a paycheck (granted, it's always nicer to receive a paycheck for doing what you love versus doing what you can get paid for).

First I flunked out of college right after high school, then I dropped out because I didn't think I could do it and got frustrated with the 12 plus years of schooling, then I joined the Army for a short time before I got discharged and that put me off schedule again, etc. (you get the point). I don't like being 23 and a freshman, it will make me at least 32 before I even start my residency. I dream of having a family but don't know how possible that will be with being a medical student. I want to have a relationship with my patients instead of them just being another number or paycheck, and I'm worried if that will be possible.

 

[EdLongshanks]

My name is Heather. I'm 23 years old and a freshman in college. I've dreamed of being a Neonatal surgeon or some other kind of surgeon/dr since I was 9 years old

Heather. At 23 I escaped the homeless life and started college. Since then I have had a very nice life, married, raised 3 children, had a nice career and just NOW am I changing tracks and applying to medical school.

I realize that the distance between 18 and 23 seems like a long time to you, but it is a very small proportion of the life you have in front of you. If you got married and had children and meanwhile went to school 2 class/semester and 1 class/summer (a very light load) you could still be a surgeon at age 35 without sacrificing any part of family life.

At your age there are many paths to being a successful surgeon. The only key is to NOT STOP. I stopped doing school 20 years ago because it seemed too expensive for a young married man, but I have regretted it every since. I could have attended college for almost nothing all of these years. I don't know why I didn't.

 

[HeatherMarie87]

I have already retaken most of the classes and several of the classes weren't transferrable so I actually have about a 3.7 right now. That was when I was 18-19 so it's part of my past and circumstances at the time (family deaths & abuse) prevented me from applying myself to the best of my ability. So no my GPA isn't low anymore and those classes aren't even reflected on my current transcripts since they didn't transfer.

I really want to thank everyone, you have been a huge help and have helped me look at it through a glass half full perspective instead of a glass half empty one!

Welcome on-board. I agree that it's important not to be frustrated before starting (this a long and difficult journey with many obstacles to success).

I wanted to address the bolded. First, realize that your GPA as calculated by medical school is that of every college class you have ever taken. The fact that you have flunked out leads me to believe your GPA is VERY low. It likely isn't based on that many credits, but it'll hugely limit your school selection. D.O. schools practice grade replacement and you may hve to re-take the classes you failed to make medical school a reality. Assuming I'm right and you have a few Fs already, then you are starting at a huge disadvantage.

Medical school is school. It isn't life. You can lead a life aside from medicine while in medical school. If you go to mommd.com there are a lot of examples of women have kids at every stage of the medical school process. Schools will work with you to make this a possibility. I'd likely still be in med school when I'm 32 (assuming I am on track with my current timeline).

Finally, while having a relationships with your patients is great (and easier in some fields (oncology) than others (emergency medicine)), don't idealize the medical field. It's a job and while it takes a lot of dedication to become a physician, in the end of the day it days provide a paycheck (granted, it's always nicer to receive a paycheck for doing what you love versus doing what you can get paid for).

 

[mspeedwagon]

I'm glad that your GPA is higher now. The bolded is NOT correct. Any class you have ever taken at the undergrad level factors into your AMCAS GPA. It doesn't matter whether or not it shows up on your current transcript. Your grades are with you forever (for better or worse). You are REQUIRED to send transcripts to AMCAS of all colleges you have ever attended. Even if courses don't transfer, they still factor into your overall GPA (for medical school purposes).

I have already retaken most of the classes and several of the classes weren't transferrable so I actually have about a 3.7 right now. That was when I was 18-19 so it's part of my past and circumstances at the time (family deaths & abuse) prevented me from applying myself to the best of my ability. So no my GPA isn't low anymore and those classes aren't even reflected on my current transcripts since they didn't transfer.

 

[HeatherMarie87]

I'm glad that your GPA is higher now. The bolded is NOT correct. Any class you have ever taken at the undergrad level factors into your AMCAS GPA. It doesn't matter whether or not it shows up on your current transcript. Your grades are with you forever (for better or worse). You are REQUIRED to send transcripts to AMCAS of all colleges you have ever attended. Even if courses don't transfer, they still factor into your overall GPA (for medical school purposes).

I didn't say they wouldn't affect my GPA or my chances of getting into medical school because I know I have to disclose all grades and all schools attended, etc. I was just saying that at my current college they haven't affected my GPA because of the way the system at my school works.

 

[mspeedwagon]

Alright, I just wanted to make sure you know this. I've seen a few posts where people are surprised when their 4.0 turns into a 2.5 because of the 5 or so Fs they received in the past.

I didn't say they wouldn't affect my GPA or my chances of getting into medical school because I know I have to disclose all grades and all schools attended, etc. I was just saying that at my current college they haven't affected my GPA because of the way the system at my school works.

 

[Scorpiomd]

Here's my 2 cents.
1. Don't let time be an issue. It will pass regardless of where you are in life, undergrad, nurse or MD.
2. The 18 yr olds in college should be a non-issue. Focus on yourself and set your goals. They have yet to experience life and many of them have no clue as to what they will do with their lives, you do.
3. Make up your mind, set a plan, and bust your butt to make it happen! Life has conditioned you for the road ahead. If you want to be a nurse, nail the prereqs and be the best nurse you can be! If you want to be a doctor, put the nay sayers behind you, and do what you know you have to to prove them wrong.

As cliche as it is, "Make your haters your motivators"

BTW, I'm 28 finishing undergrad in the fall with 3 kids and applying for the class of 2015. Life is what you make it, make it yours!