need advice please

[amelie04]

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This for those of you out there with a similar situation or for those of you who know of others with a similar situation.
Here's the deal. I am an undergrad right now (3rd year to be exact). Since I can remember I have had a strong desire to pursue a career in medicine. My heart and mind have been set on reaching that ultimate career goal. I know have the determination and motivation to get through the process. I know it is extremely challenging, but that is what drives me......the challenge. My hang up at this time is that just over the last semester I started considering how a family will fit into the picture ( I am female). I suppose I never considered the aspect of trying to balance school residency and marriage, and then trying to squeeze in children at some point. I do believe I need a balance in my life.....a satisfying and challenging career, along with a family. I do not want to live with regret later on: either that I didn't follow through with my career goals or that I decided to put all of my time into my career without giving myself time for a family and growing old and lonely, or that I tried to do too much and left mysefl bitter by not having time to spend with children.

I have considered other careers in the health profession but I still agonize over this decision. I know I am the only person that can ultimately come to a conclusion, but I would like a few words of advice from some of you who are pursuing both the career and the family.

I know I can do "anything" if I put my mind to it, but in all honesty, in the end will there be time to have the career I have dreamed of and worked for along with a fulfilling family life? ( I suppose I should mention that I am in a situation where I would be dragging a fiance around with me......to school, to residency, and then to a job)..........advice please!!!

 

[neilc]

well, amelie...the good news is that lots of people have been able to have both, the life outside of medicine and a challenging, rewarding career. there is no reason you cannot as well. it likely will not be easy, and you will be required to work hard (and it will help a lot to have an understanding, patient fiance...). but, like the commercial says, just do it!

there is no reason to compromise, especially now...you would likely wind up resenting your family if you gave up medicine or your career if you gave up your wish to have a family. just plug on ahead, get into school, do well, get married, have a family, whatever. one day at a time!

deal with the challenges as they come, and do the best you can.

good luck!

 

[samenewme]

Take a look at MomMD for more information. The Medical Spouse support site might give you a view from the spouse's side, too, though most of the spouses there are women.

Good luck with your journey!

 

[Zeffer]

One other ting you need to be sure of is that your spouse will be able and or willing to handle the added stresses and pressures. Believe me not all men are up to the challenge that you are proposing. Good luck.

 

[Winged Scapula]

Since this thread has been cross-posted to General Residency Issues and has a thriving response there, I'll close it here and let the issue flourish there.