Non trads with kids......

[Tatiana3325]

Advertisement - Members don't see this ad

......I commend you and do not know how you do it!! I'm watching my friends' two year old this morning as a favor and oh my gosh this is hard. Im already exhausted..........I had no idea.

 

[vc7777]

Shouldn't you be watching the little hellion, and not surfing the web right now?

They are like the ocean. Never turn your back on them. 😏

 

[Tatiana3325]

Shouldn't you be watching the little hellion, and not surfing the web right now?

They are like the ocean. Never turn your back on them. 😏

Lol He's in a bounce house. So far so good but you're probably right.......🙂

 

[PostHaste]

Shouldn't you be watching the little hellion, and not surfing the web right now?

They are like the ocean. Never turn your back on them. 😏

👍

Be most afraid if there is quiet. Last time it was quiet my 5- and 2-year olds chopped down my honeycrisp tree. 🙁

 

[VackAttack]

I couldn't agree more... watch out when they're quiet.

But having kids is definitely a motivator while in school... you're not just going to school for yourself, but rather your family. It makes succeeding in things a lot more important because you know it affects their lives as well. It's a lot of fun though too!

 

[Northwesterly]

You give your toddlers axes? Are you a viking?
(Also, I shed a tear for the honeycrisp. Uncool, dudes. Uncool.)

 

[Deekle]

I couldn't agree more... watch out when they're quiet.

But having kids is definitely a motivator while in school... you're not just going to school for yourself, but rather your family. It makes succeeding in things a lot more important because you know it affects their lives as well. It's a lot of fun though too!

+1

Ultimately med school is for me, but part of that is knowing I can take care of my family. There was nothing more dissapointing to me than knowing I was miserable at a "normal" job, working so much just to pay the bills that I could hardly even see my family, and knowing that if I died they would be one step from financial ruin. That said, it is hard. I have a video of my daughter asking me to play with her instead of studying for a final exam. She is crying by the end of it: "but daddy, I don't want you to study...I want you to play with me". It breaks my heart every time something like that happens.

 

[ejw5075]

+1

Ultimately med school is for me, but part of that is knowing I can take care of my family. There was nothing more dissapointing to me than knowing I was miserable at a "normal" job, working so much just to pay the bills that I could hardly even see my family, and knowing that if I died they would be one step from financial ruin. That said, it is hard. I have a video of my daughter asking me to play with her instead of studying for a final exam. She is crying by the end of it: "but daddy, I don't want you to study...I want you to play with me". It breaks my heart every time something like that happens.

Good news, It only gets worse

 

[Tatiana3325]

+1

Ultimately med school is for me, but part of that is knowing I can take care of my family. There was nothing more dissapointing to me than knowing I was miserable at a "normal" job, working so much just to pay the bills that I could hardly even see my family, and knowing that if I died they would be one step from financial ruin. That said, it is hard. I have a video of my daughter asking me to play with her instead of studying for a final exam. She is crying by the end of it: "but daddy, I don't want you to study...I want you to play with me". It breaks my heart every time something like that happens.

You're setting a good example though.

 

[Deekle]

Good news, It only gets worse

Yeah, probably. You know though, at least I'll get to see my kids and they'll get to see me. I recall my navy days with 6-9 month deployments and underway every weekend. Hopefully it's not worse than that.

 

[ejw5075]

Yeah, probably. You know though, at least I'll get to see my kids and they'll get to see me. I recall my navy days with 6-9 month deployments and underway every weekend. Hopefully it's not worse than that.

Sorry, I was a complete grouch this morning. It does get worse but I'm not typically a dark cloud of pessimism.

I can't promise you it will be better than your navy days bc I've never been through anything like that BUT a lot depends on the age of your children and your personal relationship w them.

I was states away from my 4.5yo for the first 7 months of medical school and in a way that was easier than her living with me. She knew why I wasn't home, when I would be back, etc. It wasn't easy but it was clear and she understood.
Quality > Quantity

For the last 3 months of school she is living with me and we get to spend a LOT of time together. It is more confusing to her this way because I'm there physically but not 100% able to do what she wants to.
Quantity > Quality... Constant struggle.

One thing is for certain, parenting during school requires some mad time management skillz.

 

[Deekle]

Sorry, I was a complete grouch this morning. It does get worse but I'm not typically a dark cloud of pessimism.

I can't promise you it will be better than your navy days bc I've never been through anything like that BUT a lot depends on the age of your children and your personal relationship w them.

I was states away from my 4.5yo for the first 7 months of medical school and in a way that was easier than her living with me. She knew why I wasn't home, when I would be back, etc. It wasn't easy but it was clear and she understood.
Quality > Quantity

For the last 3 months of school she is living with me and we get to spend a LOT of time together. It is more confusing to her this way because I'm there physically but not 100% able to do what she wants to.
Quantity > Quality... Constant struggle.

One thing is for certain, parenting during school requires some mad time management skillz.

No worries, we all have our moments.

My kids are 6 and 4. I'll be about 4.5 hours away for the first year (hoping to be home as many weekends as possible, but fully realizing that it might be every third week at best). Years 2-4 will be an hour commute, so I'll be home most nights, if not always before they're in bed. My plan for year one is to switch on and off every other time I'm home on the weekend, taking one of them to breakfast or lunch and just giving them some individual daddy time on Saturday. The rest of Saturday is budgeted for study. Sundays at home are planned for date night with the wife. (And study of course). I'm not sure if this will work out yet or not, since things don't kick off until August. I have talked to a few MS1's at my school who think it should be possible. I'm probably worrying about this stuff too early. I'm very ready to get things started.

 

[Deekle]

You're an inspiration, brother!

I'm rooting for you and your family.

My wife, who is a MD, was (still is?) very nervous and reluctant when I expressed to her my desire to go into medicine. She is excited about the potential for us to share in medicine together; however, she is not so much excited about going through medical school "again."

I think it's probably hard to make plans before medical school and stick to them once it begins. It's a guessing game beforehand, and we won't really know how to budget our time until we are in the thick of it.

I'm a little ways from being there myself. If I'm ever fortunate enough to make it to med school, I will feel grateful for the challenge of navigating that world. What an honor so few people get to endure!

You know, it's all about endurance. I never thought I'd get accepted myself, but I was bound and determined to apply every year for the next decade if necessary.

I hope to live up to all of the expectations that my friends and family have, but more importantly, I hope that I live up to my own, much higher expectations for myself.

Good luck to you in your journey

 

[Fedfireman]

holy cow... I actually have tears in my eyes right now. I'm a father of 2 ages 5 and 2. I'm trying to wrap my head around how in the world I'm going to support my family financially and emotionally and its got me breaking down. I know this is what I want but its seeming more and more like animpossible feat. Its wonderful however, to hear your stories.

Deekle, I'm also a Navy vet. I'm currently a full time DOD firefighter working 72 hrs a week 24 on 24 off. I am currently taking online course work that is terribly easy but I can already see the effects of not being able to devote 100% of my off time to my children. Its horrible, were so used to spending the entire day together and now that I have studying to do my children are getting upset.

So with that said it is a huge relief to know others have made the leap of faith I'm currently faced with.

Thank you all.

 

[PostHaste]

You give your toddlers axes? Are you a viking?
(Also, I shed a tear for the honeycrisp. Uncool, dudes. Uncool.)

The little one is very creative. They ripped the branches off, then found a trowel and hacked at it until they could break the trunk. They are an awful lot like the kids from How to Train Your Dragon, though, so maybe there is some Viking blood in there. And yes, very uncool, but at least they didn't go after the plum tree that was a gift to the family after my grandma passed.

Fedfireman, are you married? Does your wife work? I don't think we'd be able to manage it if my husband didn't work. As it is we're taking more than a 50% pay cut, even taking into account the full living expenses COA from MCW.

For me, planning helped. I've got detailed monthly budget laid out through August of 2013, we've paid off our debts, refi'd the house, fixed/upgraded a bunch of stuff in the house, and socked away some cash. We'll be cutting it close at the end of each semester, and with the loans (and depending on specialty) the first 10 years out of residency won't be much more glamorous than we're living currently. My husband is totally on board, though, since he's seen how bad of a fit my current career is.

I have a lot of the same worries about spending time with my kids that you do. I don't get a ton of time as it is, maybe 3 hours a night, and then weekends. I try to seek out the positive (or at lest not-so-negative) parts: I will still have some time with them. They will have plenty of time with other people they love and who love them. I will be modeling hard work and a love of learning. My oldest starts Kindergarten next year, and is very excited that I'll be going to school, too. I've read a couple-few different posters on here who went to school with kids and said they never missed a major event and had dinner with their family every night. I think that's a lot more than a lot of other people in the real world manage, and I'm determined to try to make that happen for us.

 

[PostHaste]

No worries, we all have our moments.

My kids are 6 and 4. I'll be about 4.5 hours away for the first year (hoping to be home as many weekends as possible, but fully realizing that it might be every third week at best). Years 2-4 will be an hour commute, so I'll be home most nights, if not always before they're in bed. My plan for year one is to switch on and off every other time I'm home on the weekend, taking one of them to breakfast or lunch and just giving them some individual daddy time on Saturday. The rest of Saturday is budgeted for study. Sundays at home are planned for date night with the wife. (And study of course). I'm not sure if this will work out yet or not, since things don't kick off until August. I have talked to a few MS1's at my school who think it should be possible. I'm probably worrying about this stuff too early. I'm very ready to get things started.

I think the individual attention time is a great idea. And I'm totally with you on being ready to get going. I'm sick of guessing at what it's going to be like and ready to put it to the test!

 

[cabinbuilder]

holy cow... I actually have tears in my eyes right now. I'm a father of 2 ages 5 and 2. I'm trying to wrap my head around how in the world I'm going to support my family financially and emotionally and its got me breaking down. I know this is what I want but its seeming more and more like animpossible feat. Its wonderful however, to hear your stories.

Deekle, I'm also a Navy vet. I'm currently a full time DOD firefighter working 72 hrs a week 24 on 24 off. I am currently taking online course work that is terribly easy but I can already see the effects of not being able to devote 100% of my off time to my children. Its horrible, were so used to spending the entire day together and now that I have studying to do my children are getting upset.

So with that said it is a huge relief to know others have made the leap of faith I'm currently faced with.

Thank you all.

I went to medical school with a 2 yr old and a 5 yr old. It is totally doable. My husband staying home and watched the kids and worked part time. I took out full loans in school. It was tight but we made it ok.

 

[SLC]

I've got an 8 year old, a 5 year old, and a 2 month old at the moment. Having a strong, supportive spouse, who has a solid understanding of the demands you're going to be under and the time investment necessary, is critical.

That being said, I've been able to steadily ease back on the amount of time required for study throughout MS1, it's to the point where most weekends I spend about 4 hours at school studying and the rest of the day with the family, and never do any studying on Sundays. I'm usually home for about an hour or two before the kids go to bed, then I'll watch a movie with the wife before settling in and putting a few hours of study in before bed.

It's grueling, and you have to find a groove that works for you, but it's definitely very doable. Don't ever let anyone convince you otherwise because if they don't feel the same, it's only because they're not trying hard enough.

 

[stillstandingMD]

Hello all. First post here. I am 34 with for boys ages 8,4,3 &1.
I am actually pre PA not med, but I do enjoy reading these posts. I definitely think
a supportive spouse is the key for me. I get very upset at times when
I feel like I'm not spending enough time with them. I do know I am showing them determination and strength. This is something I cherish. I recently found out that I likely have myotonic MD even though I have been dealing with symptoms for 4 years. I want my kids to see that strength is in crawling when you must....in my case literally at times, but don't give up. My wife said I have a gift of passion and I shouldn't cheat that. I tried to convince myself to be "responsible" and do the HCA management route but there was no spark. I'm getting my feet wet again. Give yourselves and spouses a pat on the back. There is no doubt sacrifice by all but it be the whole family wearing the white coat. It is a true family accomplishment.😛

 

[Thego2guy]

Hello all. First post here. I am 34 with for boys ages 8,4,3 &1.
I am actually pre PA not med, but I do enjoy reading these posts. I definitely think
a supportive spouse is the key for me. I get very upset at times when
I feel like I'm not spending enough time with them. I do know I am showing them determination and strength. This is something I cherish. I recently found out that I likely have myotonic MD even though I have been dealing with symptoms for 4 years. I want my kids to see that strength is in crawling when you must....in my case literally at times, but don't give up. My wife said I have a gift of passion and I shouldn't cheat that. I tried to convince myself to be "responsible" and do the HCA management route but there was no spark. I'm getting my feet wet again. Give yourselves and spouses a pat on the back. There is no doubt sacrifice by all but it be the whole family wearing the white coat. It is a true family accomplishment.😛

1,000,000% true!!!!!! Same goes for our military brothers and sisters. The whole family endures the hardship, and that is all too often overlooked.

 

[Fedfireman]

Hey all, Sorry I've been SUPER busy lately. So my plans have been put on hold a bit so I can send my wife to finish her ASN and get her working again. I've had some major set-backs in my planning but hope to get them all hammered out soon. I'm still very glad to read of people balancing family and this journey to medicine. Good luck everyone!

 

[Fedfireman]

The little one is very creative. They ripped the branches off, then found a trowel and hacked at it until they could break the trunk. They are an awful lot like the kids from How to Train Your Dragon, though, so maybe there is some Viking blood in there. And yes, very uncool, but at least they didn't go after the plum tree that was a gift to the family after my grandma passed.

Fedfireman, are you married? Does your wife work? I don't think we'd be able to manage it if my husband didn't work. As it is we're taking more than a 50% pay cut, even taking into account the full living expenses COA from MCW.

For me, planning helped. I've got detailed monthly budget laid out through August of 2013, we've paid off our debts, refi'd the house, fixed/upgraded a bunch of stuff in the house, and socked away some cash. We'll be cutting it close at the end of each semester, and with the loans (and depending on specialty) the first 10 years out of residency won't be much more glamorous than we're living currently. My husband is totally on board, though, since he's seen how bad of a fit my current career is.

I have a lot of the same worries about spending time with my kids that you do. I don't get a ton of time as it is, maybe 3 hours a night, and then weekends. I try to seek out the positive (or at lest not-so-negative) parts: I will still have some time with them. They will have plenty of time with other people they love and who love them. I will be modeling hard work and a love of learning. My oldest starts Kindergarten next year, and is very excited that I'll be going to school, too. I've read a couple-few different posters on here who went to school with kids and said they never missed a major event and had dinner with their family every night. I think that's a lot more than a lot of other people in the real world manage, and I'm determined to try to make that happen for us.

I am married. My wife is now a CNA student and will be finishing up her ASN starting this fall. So... once I have her working full-time as an RN I should be able make the cut.

How did the FA and loan process work out for you? I'm assuming you quit work and had the previous years tax returns on file. Was your school good about adjusting your benefits?

Anyone else with experience on the matter? I'm really trying to time this right so we can go into my first year of Pre-med with a low AGI and use my GI bill for the 2nd and 3rd.

 

[LaEsponja]

No worries, we all have our moments.

My kids are 6 and 4. I'll be about 4.5 hours away for the first year (hoping to be home as many weekends as possible, but fully realizing that it might be every third week at best). Years 2-4 will be an hour commute, so I'll be home most nights, if not always before they're in bed. My plan for year one is to switch on and off every other time I'm home on the weekend, taking one of them to breakfast or lunch and just giving them some individual daddy time on Saturday. The rest of Saturday is budgeted for study. Sundays at home are planned for date night with the wife. (And study of course). I'm not sure if this will work out yet or not, since things don't kick off until August. I have talked to a few MS1's at my school who think it should be possible. I'm probably worrying about this stuff too early. I'm very ready to get things started.

My GAWD I hope your wife and children appreciate what they have, I know your children will one day and I'm sure your wife does. My marriage is all but over because my s/o values video games over life. Posts like yours remind me I'm not insane for wanting a team member instead of a teen-ager, thank you.

This may sound awful, but I was surprised at how much fun my kids are. I got pregnant young and was constantly told how horrible and how much work it would be. The work was an understatement, but no one mentioned how plain damn amazing these creatures are. Watching them grow, learn, develop, and play is just crazy. Babysitting doesn't compare- there are "rules" you have to follow and there is always the underlying fear you're going to somehow break their child. With your own kids YOU make the rules (ha- or they do) and consequently it is much more rewarding. Until they get you sick. Like I am now lol

 

[ShyRem]

sleep was totally overrated when I was in med school with kids. My husband worked nights. He is a saint beyond all belief and I hope to make all he has sacrificed totally worth his while. My children are... awesome. My daughter has acquired a work ethic second to almost none, and my son is growing into quite a young man. Still kids, but the process has made us all much closer, more appreciative of what we have and more appreciative of each other.

It's doable. Exhausting, but doable. Everything gives a little and the balance is delicate.

 

[Deekle]

My GAWD I hope your wife and children appreciate what they have, I know your children will one day and I'm sure your wife does. My marriage is all but over because my s/o values video games over life. Posts like yours remind me I'm not insane for wanting a team member instead of a teen-ager, thank you.

This may sound awful, but I was surprised at how much fun my kids are. I got pregnant young and was constantly told how horrible and how much work it would be. The work was an understatement, but no one mentioned how plain damn amazing these creatures are. Watching them grow, learn, develop, and play is just crazy. Babysitting doesn't compare- there are "rules" you have to follow and there is always the underlying fear you're going to somehow break their child. With your own kids YOU make the rules (ha- or they do) and consequently it is much more rewarding. Until they get you sick. Like I am now lol

lol yeah, my kids are little disease factories. My daughter is usually a walking ear infection waiting to happen. The good news is that daddy has an odoscope and knows how to use it. Sounds like your s/o has some growing up to do. Hopefully that happens for you. If it helps, I used to be a WoW geek. At some point you have to man up and take on some responsibility.

 

[Geekchick921]

I seriously get virtually nothing school related done when they are home and awake. It's really hard sometimes, but it's doable. My husband is very supportive and his job has been very conducive to all of it working.

But I am really freakin' tired.

 

[Fedfireman]

Do you do Sunday studying? I'm hoping to have all Sunday to study in the campus library. Anyone else do this?