I think I come in a middle position on the failing boards issue, but I tend to be pretty critical about it as well
When I see a candidate has failed the boards, what I really want to see is that it served as a wake up call, and that there is objective evidence they got their act together. I think this also applies to people who scored poorly on the boards the first time around, but didn't quite fail.
Truth is, most residents who fail the boards are usually not stellar in other areas either. Most solid candidates are solid across the boards.
I will note, though, that I have seen candidates who failed or scored poorly on the boards, and DID make objective changes that made them into solid candidates. And that does come across positively. There is something admirable about someone bombing, but then coming back to score highly on the boards, make national presentations, write a paper, start a PMR student organization, etc.
Bottom line- if you hit some stumbling blocks, it's not enough to say that you've seen the light and now you care. If you can't PROVE that you care, you aren't going to be fooling anyone, except perhaps for yourself.