Parents at interview/tour?

[iSmile5]

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Hey all, so I just got an interview from Buffalo which I am way excited about since it is my number one choice... however, my mother is just as excited.

Buffalo asks if you are bringing any family members with you so they can have lunch for them/be prepared for them to tag along on the tour. My questions are....
1. Would you let your parent(s) come along?
2. Do you think it makes you look bad? I really dont want Buffalo to think I am not independent

Thanks!

 

[tinman831]

Hey all, so I just got an interview from Buffalo which I am way excited about since it is my number one choice... however, my mother is just as excited.

Buffalo asks if you are bringing any family members with you so they can have lunch for them/be prepared for them to tag along on the tour. My questions are....
1. Would you let your parent(s) come along?
2. Do you think it makes you look bad? I really dont want Buffalo to think I am not independent

Thanks!

When I went to my Buffalo interview a couple of years back, I'd say about half of the group had a parent/significant other with them. If you are comfortable with your mom being there, by all means, bring her along!

 

[eldirty]

My father is a dentist and I cant decide if I should bring him along or not. Any thought?

 

[doc3232]

Hey all, so I just got an interview from Buffalo which I am way excited about since it is my number one choice... however, my mother is just as excited.

Buffalo asks if you are bringing any family members with you so they can have lunch for them/be prepared for them to tag along on the tour. My questions are....
1. Would you let your parent(s) come along?
2. Do you think it makes you look bad? I really dont want Buffalo to think I am not independent

Thanks!

That is what I was thinking of when I read your title.
We might be over-thinking it though.

 

[Plopper]

good question, i had always figured i would just go alone...but everyone does love mommy right?? lol

 

[that guy]

my parents would ask questions to the adcoms to the point of annoyance. im leaving them at home when i go to buffalo

 

[Simiam]

I'd bring my wife but she'd have to miss to much school/work...

 

[ukgirl]

Hey all, so I just got an interview from Buffalo which I am way excited about since it is my number one choice... however, my mother is just as excited.

Buffalo asks if you are bringing any family members with you so they can have lunch for them/be prepared for them to tag along on the tour. My questions are....
1. Would you let your parent(s) come along?
2. Do you think it makes you look bad? I really dont want Buffalo to think I am not independent

Thanks!

I don't think it makes you look bad. When I went I think about half of the people including myself had a parent with them. Even the dental students and Dr. Brown interacted with the parents and it just made the atmosphere more relaxed and friendly rather than a room full of nervous students.

 

[UCSF2012]

It's time to grow up. You're an adult now.

 

[eternalxdemon]

dude. i'd bring mom if she's your support and she'll help you calm down during the interview. i mean do EVERYTHING you can to calm urself and relax yourself during the interview cuz i think that'll send off the best vibe to the admissions committee. 🙂 i'm bring my mom with me to all my out-of-state interviews. 🙂 she always knows wat to say to make me feel better. so bring your mom if you want. 🙂 and ignore wat USCF2012 said about growing up and being independent. just because ur mom is there doesn't mean you're not independent. it means your relationship with her has matured to a level where you can respect her advice and you can actually take it and make use of it vs when you were a rebellious teenager (that's just a generalization, not that i'm assuming u were rebellious, but you get the example) but yea i'm rambling so i'll stop. good luck with wat ever u decide on! 🙂

 

[ukgirl]

dude. i'd bring mom if she's your support and she'll help you calm down during the interview. i mean do EVERYTHING you can to calm urself and relax yourself during the interview cuz i think that'll send off the best vibe to the admissions committee. 🙂 i'm bring my mom with me to all my out-of-state interviews. 🙂 she always knows wat to say to make me feel better. so bring your mom if you want. 🙂 and ignore wat USCF2012 said about growing up and being independent. just because ur mom is there doesn't mean you're not independent. it means your relationship with her has matured to a level where you can respect her advice and you can actually take it and make use of it vs when you were a rebellious teenager (that's just a generalization, not that i'm assuming u were rebellious, but you get the example) but yea i'm rambling so i'll stop. good luck with wat ever u decide on! 🙂

Thanks for your comment eternalxdemon. I think just do what you feel is best and only consider inviting your parent if the school specially says in the invite if you can bring a guest.

 

[katy5787]

My father is a dentist and I cant decide if I should bring him along or not. Any thought?

My dad is a dentist too and I'm bringing him. He's been through the process so he knows what to look for in a dental school so it will be good to have him along for a second opinion. Plus he'll be helping me get through dental school financially so he is definitely partially involved in my decision. I would only bring him to ones where parents were clearly invited though, like Buffalo.

 

[Lopyswine]

I did not interview at buffalo.

That being said, at a few interviews 1-2 people in the group brought parents.

It was extremely awkward. Most of the kids who brought their parents were not dressed correctly for the interview and looked out of place. I remember thinking that it looked like their mom dressed them in a suit from the 1980s. While on the school tours, all of us that did not bring parents would talk to each other and the student tour guides, while the other student was stuck with just his/her parent.

Then you'd get the parent that would ask the most mundane and terrible questions about tuition and financial aid to the TOUR GUIDES. Even better was the occasional alumni dentist parent who constantly feels the need to tell everyone how the school "used to be." "oh this is where we used to have our labs." or "I remember so many hours in this lecture hall." Give me a break....

This is professional school. Buy a nice suit. Shine your shoes. Bring a leather portfolio with copies of your application, resume, transcripts, and letters of recommendation. Have a list of questions ready that show you have researched the school and are interested.

What you should NOT bring to the interview is anything that would show you aren't ready for professional school. Parents being on the top of the list.

 

[DentGuy]

My parents are coming with me when I have my out-of-state interviews, but they're not coming with me to my in-state interview. I think it's a great idea to bring your parents. They don't have to tour the school with you, they can just tour the city while you have your interview. This way, they can help you decide later on when you have multiple acceptances 🙂

 

[Flipper405]

My parents are coming with me when I have my out-of-state interviews, but they're not coming with me to my in-state interview. I think it's a great idea to bring your parents. They don't have to tour the school with you, they can just tour the city while you have your interview. This way, they can help you decide later on when you have multiple acceptances 🙂

same here... didn't take parents to university of alabama or medical college of georgia
bringing mom for temple, columbia, and penn

I haven't seen any parents at the two interviews I've been to so far; hopefully will see some up there.

 

[DRHOYA]

My parents are coming with me when I have my out-of-state interviews, but they're not coming with me to my in-state interview. I think it's a great idea to bring your parents. They don't have to tour the school with you, they can just tour the city while you have your interview. This way, they can help you decide later on when you have multiple acceptances 🙂

Well that is different if you parents are coming along to visit the city and areas while you are at the school......nothing wrong with that, rather than having your parents on the actual interview. Seriously, some of the above posters that are considering bringing their parents on the actual interview......you better step back and think about what your doing. Think of how the ADCOM's will interpret that........."here wait outside Mom/Dad, while I go for my one-on-one interview"......very very unprofessional. You need to figure out what school is right for YOU, and YOU only.......no one can decide that for you.

 

[DRHOYA]

My dad is a dentist too and I'm bringing him. He's been through the process so he knows what to look for in a dental school so it will be good to have him along for a second opinion. Plus he'll be helping me get through dental school financially so he is definitely partially involved in my decision. I would only bring him to ones where parents were clearly invited though, like Buffalo.

I think you need to pop your bubble. My father is also a Dentist, and will not accompany me on the interview. You, I, should know what to look for in a Dental school, since we are the ones applying. What does that say about why we are applying if we don't know what kind of school we would like?? My father is also not going to be involved in my ultimate decision, beacuse he is not the one spending the years at school......................or paying for it for that matter. The process from 1978 was alot different from the process today. Just my 2 cents. You'll look much more professional attending on your own, with your own questions for the school.

 

[Lopyswine]

i think you need to pop your bubble. My father is also a dentist, and will not accompany me on the interview. You, i, should know what to look for in a dental school, since we are the ones applying. What does that say about why we are applying if we don't know what kind of school we would like?? My father is also not going to be involved in my ultimate decision, beacuse he is not the one spending the years at school......................or paying for it for that matter. The process from 1978 was alot different from the process today. Just my 2 cents. You'll look much more professional attending on your own, with your own questions for the school.

Best post of SDN today!! listen to him.

 

[PChemGrad]

You pretty much need to grow up.
Don't bring your parents to the interview, this is a decision you need to make not them. If you want to bring your parents make them go on a tour of the city or something else but keep them away from the school.
When I was going on my interviews i never saw any parents. Same goes for significant others. yet they should go to the city where the interview is at, since they are mostlikely going to be with you in making the decision of where to accept at.

your time to grow up was in college, now that you are going to be done, you need to step away and make the decision for yourself.

it seems like the current generations are holding onto their parents longer and longer, and being sheltered more and more.

If your parents want to see the school, go another time, preferably after the acceptance, but not durring the time of the interview, thats your time to shine, not be overshadowed by your parents.

 

[drpsuedonym]

I agree, no parents should be anywhere near the interview. I read something the other day on MSN about how parents are being more involved in their adult children's job interviews, and I thought that was crazy. These helicopter parents need to stop hovering, and kids need to realize that you're applying for admission to professional school; you should have the maturity to figure this out on your own. I think it looks horrible to bring your parents.

 

[cobalt31]

Well that is different if you parents are coming along to visit the city and areas while you are at the school......nothing wrong with that, rather than having your parents on the actual interview. Seriously, some of the above posters that are considering bringing their parents on the actual interview......you better step back and think about what your doing. Think of how the ADCOM's will interpret that........."here wait outside Mom/Dad, while I go for my one-on-one interview"......very very unprofessional. You need to figure out what school is right for YOU, and YOU only.......no one can decide that for you.

I don't think you understand what the poster is asking. Some schools specifically allow you to bring a parent on the tour of the school (not the actual interview. I interviewed at Columbia and CUCDM has an afternoon tour after morning interviews and you are allowed to bring guests. Honestly, I don't see what the big deal is, and I don't think it looks bad, especially if the dental school is offering you the option. How you act on your tour has very little significance on your acceptance (at least that's what they said at Columbia).

In any event, I probably would have considered bringing one or both of my parents before the interview day, but in retrospect I probably wouldn't do it now. One of the above posters is right. it is a little awkward. but it does NOT reflect poorly on the applicant to bring a parent on a tour in which parents/guests were specifically invited. period. if you want to bring your parents, bring them, but coach them ahead of time not to ask dumb questions.

in my opinion 😎

 

[mep771]

I think I might bring my parents to the first few weeks of dental school as well. Just to help me settle in and to make sure the other kids don't bully me.

 

[DRHOYA]

I don't think you understand what the poster is asking. Some schools specifically allow you to bring a parent on the tour of the school (not the actual interview. I interviewed at Columbia and CUCDM has an afternoon tour after morning interviews and you are allowed to bring guests. Honestly, I don't see what the big deal is, and I don't think it looks bad, especially if the dental school is offering you the option. How you act on your tour has very little significance on your acceptance (at least that's what they said at Columbia).

In any event, I probably would have considered bringing one or both of my parents before the interview day, but in retrospect I probably wouldn't do it now. One of the above posters is right. it is a little awkward. but it does NOT reflect poorly on the applicant to bring a parent on a tour in which parents/guests were specifically invited. period. if you want to bring your parents, bring them, but coach them ahead of time not to ask dumb questions.

in my opinion 😎

No, I fully understand what the poster is saying. I'm not going to repeat myself. Parents shouldn't be asking questions on the tour..........you should. Most of us are in our last year of undergrad or finished. It's time to step up and learn how to travel, get around the city, and be responsible enough to go to your own interview.......and do well of course. I don't know what schools "specifically" invited parents...but I know some said "IF you are bringing others"....that "IF" is the keyword. You even said yourself it was awkward. Try to minimize the awkwardness on interview days. If you have to "coach" your parents on how to behave during the tour/interview..........then clearly you shouldn't bring them. It will minimize the nervousness about having to worry about them as well. The school selected you for a reason.........they want to meet YOU.

 

[Contach]

I'm not bringing my parents to my interviews (if I get any)... but this is not a choice of my own, instead it is something that I assumed would not happen since the get-go.

I think bringing your parents says something about you to the ADCOMs. Granted, the interviewers may not even know your parents are present, but if they do.. it could go one of two ways.. (1) It could make a statement that you are family-oriented and you keep parents close. (2) Alternatively it could mean that you are incapable of taking care of yourself and needed your parents to come along the trip so you didn't get lost on the subway. I think it all depends on how you play it out. If you are shy in the interview and look like your mom dressed you they will probably assume the latter, but if you are outgoing and have a good conversation on what family means to you during the interview, bringing your parents could be great evidence to show you aren't talking out of your ass and you have strong family values.

I find it offensive that some people are telling those who want to bring their parents along to grow up. I feel that these people are arrogant and may think they are 'independent' and don't need anyone around them. Good for you. But not everyone grew up in the same culture, and I think instead you should grow up and learn to respect what others value. If to someone else that means he/she wants to bring his/her parents - then so be it. But don't assume that these people can't wipe their own asses.

 

[Dentgirl09]

contach you killed those DATs! Glad you did! congrats! good to see you applying!

 

[Quattro DMD]

Even if you bring your parents just for the tour, it still looks immature. I mean think about when you were walking around campus as an undergrad and you saw all the school tours being given. All the 17 year olds were following their parents around on the tour, not paying attention, looking like children. Personally I would not want to appear as a "man-child" on the tour...haha!

 

[drpsuedonym]

I find it offensive that some people are telling those who want to bring their parents along to grow up. I feel that these people are arrogant and may think they are 'independent' and don't need anyone around them. Good for you. But not everyone grew up in the same culture, and I think instead you should grow up and learn to respect what others value. If to someone else that means he/she wants to bring his/her parents - then so be it. But don't assume that these people can't wipe their own asses.

Culture has nothing to do with it. I grew up in a culture that assumes that you're parents are not only a huge part of your life, they practically own you. But my parents are not coming any where near my interviews. And you know, if someone does bring their parents, whether or not they are actually capable of wiping their own asses, everyone is gong to assume they can't.

 

[Contach]

Culture has nothing to do with it. I grew up in a culture that assumes that you're parents are not only a huge part of your life, they practically own you. But my parents are not coming any where near my interviews. And you know, if someone does bring their parents, whether or not they are actually capable of wiping their own asses, everyone is gong to assume they can't.

don't assume, it makes an ass out of you and me

 

[Contach]

Culture has nothing to do with it. I grew up in a culture that assumes that you're parents are not only a huge part of your life, they practically own you. But my parents are not coming any where near my interviews. And you know, if someone does bring their parents, whether or not they are actually capable of wiping their own asses, everyone is gong to assume they can't.

You're right, the culture someone grows up in probably doesn't always reflect the values one holds. But this could have everything to do with values. Doing what you think is best, regardless of what others think is another strong character value along with family values that you sir seem to have drawn the short straw on.

Consider this scenario. You go into your interview with 3 ADCOMs and it comes up, unexpectedly, that your parents came with you to the interview. You tell them they came because you value your parents' judgment, or you would like them to be involved in important decisions in your life and stay close to you or whatever the real reason is. Then you explain to them that you are very independent, you left home to do your undergrad 20 hours away. What ADCOM in his/her right mind would not respect you for this?

The scenario you guys seem to be thinking about is... yeah.. I would agree not good. A guy comes in and it becomes apparent that the interviewee brought his/her parents along. The reason s/he gives is so s/he didn't get lost b/c it's a new city and what not. I could see how this would be unprofessional and really not showing the level of maturity one should be at in this stage of their life.

I think the key is how you play it off. There are good and bad ways to deal with such a situation. But I hope that the reasons you state for bringing your parents along are good ones - otherwise I think it will be hard to beat around the bush and/or lie.

And who the **** cares what the guy going in for the next interview thinks about your parents in the hallway. If he is going to judge you, you are probably better not knowing him anyways. That's my take on this.

 

[daviddav]

I have been following this thread for a while and didn't want to respond until now. I think parents are definitely a terrible idea. On the other hand, what is everyone's opinion of bringing a significant other on the tour with you? I read a post above saying it was a bad idea. I have an interview in a couple of weeks at UT and I said my long time girlfriend was coming because they said they were quite welcome to come to the tour and lunch. They aren't allowed in any place during the interviews or during the presentations (housing, financial aid, etc), but she is coming on the tour and eating lunch with me.

Is this a bad idea? I have been contemplating this since I put her name on the card.....

 

[katy5787]

I think you need to pop your bubble. My father is also a Dentist, and will not accompany me on the interview. You, I, should know what to look for in a Dental school, since we are the ones applying. What does that say about why we are applying if we don't know what kind of school we would like?? My father is also not going to be involved in my ultimate decision, beacuse he is not the one spending the years at school......................or paying for it for that matter. The process from 1978 was alot different from the process today. Just my 2 cents. You'll look much more professional attending on your own, with your own questions for the school.

I'm most certainly making the decision for myself and I know exactly what qualities I am looking for in a dental school. It's just nice that he will have seen the school as well so if I talk about it he will know what I mean. If Buffalo didn't want parents coming, they wouldn't have invited them. I definitely have my own questions for the school. He is only coming along so he can see the school, not talk for me. If you don't want your parents involved, there is nothing wrong with that, but there's also nothing wrong with getting a second opinion.

 

[Lopyswine]

I have been following this thread for a while and didn't want to respond until now. I think parents are definitely a terrible idea. On the other hand, what is everyone's opinion of bringing a significant other on the tour with you? I read a post above saying it was a bad idea. I have an interview in a couple of weeks at UT and I said my long time girlfriend was coming because they said they were quite welcome to come to the tour and lunch. They aren't allowed in any place during the interviews or during the presentations (housing, financial aid, etc), but she is coming on the tour and eating lunch with me.

Is this a bad idea? I have been contemplating this since I put her name on the card.....

girlfriend = bad idea. It doesn't matter that you guys may have been together forever. TO the school, its not a wife/husband. It will look ackward. I have been with my gf for 6 years. We have been living together for the last 3 years. I did not bring her to any interview. After I had acceptances, the two of us went to the different cities to see how WE liked them.

First do everything you can to GET the acceptance. THEN ask your sig other's opinion.

 

[daviddav]

I completely understand and agree with you at the same time. My question is whether to bring her or not. I'm not asking her for her opinion of the school or ANYTHING like that. I just thought it would be a lot of fun for her to be there.....

The only problem with my argument is that no matter how I see it, the ADCOMs may see it as you have. I guess I need to call and change my plans. I hope she doesn't take it the wrong way.....

 

[Lopyswine]

I completely understand and agree with you at the same time. My question is whether to bring her or not. I'm not asking her for her opinion of the school or ANYTHING like that. I just thought it would be a lot of fun for her to be there.....

The only problem with my argument is that no matter how I see it, the ADCOMs may see it as you have. I guess I need to call and change my plans. I hope she doesn't take it the wrong way.....

ok. here's what you do. A little relationship white lie. Never hurt anyone... You tell her the school called or emailed (your choice) and said that due to limited space, guests are not allowed. Tell her the school was very apologetic, but that they just didn't realize the turnout would be so high.

You tell her that if it were up to you she would be coming with. Then offer for her to come with and walk around campus or the city while you are in the interview. She'll be happy you are so anxious for her to be a part of it, you'll be happy because you won't be the "guy who brought his girlfriend" to the interview.

It'll work.

 

[Andrew324]

ok. here's what you do. A little relationship white lie. Never hurt anyone... You tell her the school called or emailed (your choice) and said that due to limited space, guests are not allowed. Tell her the school was very apologetic, but that they just didn't realize the turnout would be so high.

You tell her that if it were up to you she would be coming with. Then offer for her to come with and walk around campus or the city while you are in the interview. She'll be happy you are so anxious for her to be a part of it, you'll be happy because you won't be the "guy who brought his girlfriend" to the interview.

It'll work.

Bad Idea

 

[MKD1960]

I agree w/parents or sig others going to out of town city to tour or keep you company on a long drive, but stay away..far away from interview and campus tour. Do nothing to give an impression of too much dependence on others.