personal statement can I post mine here?

[drmom33]

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let me clarify, i paid someone (yes a stranger that was recommended) to write one for me, and honestly I feel that the grammer is way off. Can I post parts of it here for feedback? or is there another forum for this?
Thanks

 

[fuzzyerin]

No. Don't post it here.

 

[Endolas]

let me clarify, i paid someone (yes a stranger that was recommended) to write one for me, and honestly I feel that the grammer is way off. Can I post parts of it here for feedback? or is there another forum for this?
Thanks

What's grammer?

 

[Ashers]

What's grammer?

I'm listening...

 

[Winged Scapula]

This is not the appropriate place for posting of personal statements. If you wish to pay someone else to check the grammar in your PS, then you may post an advertisement in our Classified section.

Your medical school may, especially if affiliated with a university, have such resources if your own grammer (sic) is so bad that you cannot write the PS yourself.

 

[ShyRem]

I would also caution you about using a PS written for you. They invariably don't match with your application, and if you get an interview it may become painfully obvious that you did not write your own PS. Not a good impression.

 

[drmom33]

Thanks for your help everyone ( I thought that was the point of this forum), actually my issue was about time, not grammar, and I'm actually trying to get a refund since I wrote my own in the end (so i dont need to pay anyone to proofread anything), I just want to make sure that I'm not too picky when it comes to grammar, it's about my own conscience. I was just asking for feedback, which I am sure there are many poeple who would be kind enough to give.
So thanks again, is there another area on this forum for personal statement help?
Apprecaite it 😉

 

[Ashers]

Thanks for your help everyone ( I thought that was the point of this forum), actually my issue was about time, not grammar, and I'm actually trying to get a refund since I wrote my own in the end (so i dont [sic] need to pay anyone to proofread anything), I just want to make sure that I'm not too picky when it comes to grammar, it's about my own conscience. I was just asking for feedback, which I am sure there are many poeple [sic] who would be kind enough to give.
So thanks again, is there another area on this forum for personal statement help?
Apprecaite [sic] it 😉

Sometimes I've seen people ask in specialty forums, but I'd recommend not doing that either.

Talk to a resident you know in the specialty to which you're applying, and see if someone you know would be willing to go over you PS. You can also ask some of your classmates to go over it (especially helpful if you have friends with strong writing backgrounds).

 

[Winged Scapula]

No, there is no forum for posting of residency personal statements on SDN. I'm sorry you felt like we weren't much help but most SDN users:
1) realize that the PS is not a significant factor in residency selection
2) because of the above, wouldn't dream of paying someone to do it for them (in addition to the other reasons listed above)
3) ask faculty or residents to read it.

You might be overthinking it and its significance. I recommend asking people who know you, such as your attendings and residents to read your PS. They would be a much better judge of the quality of your PS than we would.

Best of luck to you.

 

[AttyHubby]

I'm surprised people aren't jumping all over the OP for PURCHASING a personal statement. That's absurd. 👎thumbdown👎

 

[drmom33]

I apologize if I wasn't clear in my q, I was not asking anyone to proof read my ps, I wanted a 2nd opinion since this severely offended the writer, and I wanted to make sure I was not over judging his work.
I already applied and my ps is already in the system, so I cant change it, but I am in the process of trying to get a refund for the one I didn't use, I just wanted an anonymous opinion. not sure why that would bother anyone.
anyway, here's a paragraph, Id just like a comment on the grammar.

" I got to learn the meaning of responsibility at a young age and this trait has enabled me to succeed in life by far, enormously. This gave me plenty of confidence to deal with the real situations that come up in the hospital where one becomes responsible for the actions taken for the patient care.On the way toward my goal to be an internist, I picked up several experiences. Some of them stimulating and accelerating my progress, while many of them slowing it down. As confident as I am about my clinical progress, I am equally conscious of my shortcomings in my exams, yet I do not want to stop aspiring and stop pursuing my lifelong ambitions. I am equally determined to move straight ahead- without a falter."

Thanks in advance 😀

 

[drmom33]

I'm surprised people aren't jumping all over the OP for PURCHASING a personal statement. That's absurd. 👎thumbdown👎

actually there are agencies that charge $500, and yes there are many people who choose that op.

 

[drmom33]

this forum has been very helpful to me, that's why I posted here, and I realize there's been a miscommunication, I hope I cleared that up with my post. Thanks again

No, there is no forum for posting of residency personal statements on SDN. I'm sorry you felt like we weren't much help but most SDN users:
1) realize that the PS is not a significant factor in residency selection
2) because of the above, wouldn't dream of paying someone to do it for them (in addition to the other reasons listed above)
3) ask faculty or residents to read it.

You might be overthinking it and its significance. I recommend asking people who know you, such as your attendings and residents to read your PS. They would be a much better judge of the quality of your PS than we would.

Best of luck to you.

 

[KidDr]

I apologize if I wasn't clear in my q, I was not asking anyone to proof read my ps, I wanted a 2nd opinion since this severely offended the writer, and I wanted to make sure I was not over judging his work.
I already applied and my ps is already in the system, so I cant change it, but I am in the process of trying to get a refund for the one I didn't use, I just wanted an anonymous opinion. not sure why that would bother anyone.
anyway, here's a paragraph, Id just like a comment on the grammar.

" I got to learn the meaning of responsibility at a young age and this trait has enabled me to succeed in life by far, enormously. This gave me plenty of confidence to deal with the real situations that come up in the hospital where one becomes responsible for the actions taken for the patient care.On the way toward my goal to be an internist, I picked up several experiences. Some of them stimulating and accelerating my progress, while many of them slowing it down. As confident as I am about my clinical progress, I am equally conscious of my shortcomings in my exams, yet I do not want to stop aspiring and stop pursuing my lifelong ambitions. I am equally determined to move straight ahead- without a falter."

Thanks in advance 😀

you paid for this? dang...I hope you're kidding.

 

[Winged Scapula]

I apologize if there was a misunderstanding; I think most of us did assume you wanted the PS proofread for submission. I do think however that most of us realize that these services are available but find them scurrilous and generally used only by FMGs.

Which brings me to my final point: if the excerpt above is reprensentative of what you paid for, you deserve your money back. Not only is it filled with grammatical errors, it reads as if written by someone who is ESL. The phrasing is extremely awkward.

 

[AttyHubby]

actually there are agencies that charge $500, and yes there are many people who choose that op.

Just because something is available doesn't mean you aren't a scumbag for using it. You can pay someone to off your ex-wife, too.

 

[drmom33]

Thanks KidDr & Winged Scapula, I appreciate your feedback that's what I thought too.
Attyhubby, that's just your opinion, some people need to make sure their application is perfect and if that's what it takes then so be it, it's easy to judge when you're not in their shoes.

Thank God I used my credit card! now I can file a claim 😎

 

[It'sElectric]

I apologize if I wasn't clear in my q, I was not asking anyone to proof read my ps, I wanted a 2nd opinion since this severely offended the writer, and I wanted to make sure I was not over judging his work.
I already applied and my ps is already in the system, so I cant change it, but I am in the process of trying to get a refund for the one I didn't use, I just wanted an anonymous opinion. not sure why that would bother anyone.
anyway, here's a paragraph, Id just like a comment on the grammar.

" I got to learn the meaning of responsibility at a young age and this trait has enabled me to succeed in life by far, enormously. This gave me plenty of confidence to deal with the real situations that come up in the hospital where one becomes responsible for the actions taken for the patient care.On the way toward my goal to be an internist, I picked up several experiences. Some of them stimulating and accelerating my progress, while many of them slowing it down. As confident as I am about my clinical progress, I am equally conscious of my shortcomings in my exams, yet I do not want to stop aspiring and stop pursuing my lifelong ambitions. I am equally determined to move straight ahead- without a falter."

Thanks in advance 😀

This has to be a joke...I don't buy any of this for a second.

 

[KidDr]

This has to be a joke...I don't buy any of this for a second.

that's my sense as well...

 

[drmom33]

I wish it was, hey we live & learn.

 

[AttyHubby]

Attyhubby, that's just your opinion, some people need to make sure their application is perfect and if that's what it takes then so be it, it's easy to judge when you're not in their shoes.

It's the opinion of anyone with any trace of ethical sensibility.

 

[drmom33]

this is not an ethical issue, (there's no false info in the ps), some people seek the assistance of friends, attendings, family, some people don't have that luxury. regardless of your opinion it happens, and it's a business making good money too. Good luck

 

[RegularNihilist]

I am surprised SDN hasn't realized the potential in mapping how much the different aspects of your application matter, in order to secure a resident spot. We are all humans, and humans are very manipulable, even program doctors. For instance, I know that if I litter a paper with profanities, it won't get published, even if it could cure cancer. Because ppl have their hang-ups. If I have 5k posts on SDN, and I start an argument with a moderator, I am gonna get my behind hauled off this webpage faster than [insert random profanity here]. It doesn't matter whether all my points are valid, or whether I am right. What matters is the psychological thing. Hey, that hardly comes as a surprise to doctors whose IQ averages in the 120 interval, right? (Barring the most obsessive-compulsive personalities, who don't want to see behaviour psych facts in the eye, due to how they wish to see humans. Wishes always triumphs over fact, we are self-deceptive animals.)

The Hare Krishna dudes realized how ppl are manipulated when you play the reciprocity game, handing out flowers, and then asking for a donation. Cunning. SDN should have provided a platform telling us what kind of flowers to hand out.

There should be statistics covering how you are most likely to score an interview, based on what kind of questions you are asked before on an interview, just like chessgames.com has a database on which moves are most statistically likely to secure a win, providing the correct opener. It is not about authenticity, or being right. If a douche program director starts the regular "would you tell if you caught your friend cheating" dilemma, you will not get a spot if you go on a rant based on modern philosophy and psychological knowledge, quoting how ethics is all BS, and just a rationalization of more basic instincts and herd behaviour. Forgetaboutit. What you need to do, is to cough up the right answer to get a spot, whether it is in med school, a residency spot, a job, whatever.

It is not unethical, as they literally beg you to be deceptive, given how arguments aren't likely to have an impact anyway. It is all about calculating what robots you are up against. Manipulate. Fake it to make it.

 

[QuantumX]

I am surprised SDN hasn't realized the potential in mapping how much the different aspects of your application matter, in order to secure a resident spot. We are all humans, and humans are very manipulable, even program doctors. For instance, I know that if I litter a paper with profanities, it won't get published, even if it could cure cancer. Because ppl have their hang-ups. If I have 5k posts on SDN, and I start an argument with a moderator, I am gonna get my behind hauled off this webpage faster than [insert random profanity here]. It doesn't matter whether all my points are valid, or whether I am right. What matters is the psychological thing. Hey, that hardly comes as a surprise to doctors whose IQ averages in the 120 interval, right? (Barring the most obsessive-compulsive personalities, who don't want to see behaviour psych facts in the eye, due to how they wish to see humans. Wishes always triumphs over fact, we are self-deceptive animals.)

The Hare Krishna dudes realized how ppl are manipulated when you play the reciprocity game, handing out flowers, and then asking for a donation. Cunning. SDN should have provided a platform telling us what kind of flowers to hand out.

There should be statistics covering how you are most likely to score an interview, based on what kind of questions you are asked before on an interview, just like chessgames.com has a database on which moves are most statistically likely to secure a win, providing the correct opener. It is not about authenticity, or being right. If a douche program director starts the regular "would you tell if you caught your friend cheating" dilemma, you will not get a spot if you go on a rant based on modern philosophy and psychological knowledge, quoting how ethics is all BS, and just a rationalization of more basic instincts and herd behaviour. Forgetaboutit. What you need to do, is to cough up the right answer to get a spot, whether it is in med school, a residency spot, a job, whatever.

It is not unethical, as they literally beg you to be deceptive, given how arguments aren't likely to have an impact anyway. It is all about calculating what robots you are up against. Manipulate. Fake it to make it.

Nihilist, dude, thanks for the chessgames.com link. I know it came as an unlikely byproduct of this thread, but thanks nonetheless.

 

[AttyHubby]

this is not an ethical issue, (there's no false info in the ps), some people seek the assistance of friends, attendings, family, some people don't have that luxury. regardless of your opinion it happens, and it's a business making good money too. Good luck

You should be ashamed.

LIFEFAIL.

 

[winner123]

You should be ashamed.

LIFEFAIL.

AttyHubby,I do not buy yur statement.
When I had to write my own PS,I took some great advices from aPD and Darth and they guided me in the best way possible.
So, seeking some help in writing a PS is no crime.However,getting the whole PS written for u is something that cannot be accepted.
If the OP got the PS edited then I think that is fine.
Ye, I agree with WS that the grammar and flow of the passage is not so
good as it should be.

PS: WS,u have been always very helpful to me.Thanks for yur kind support.

 

[RegularNihilist]

You should be ashamed.

LIFEFAIL.

A statement that could be translated into: "I don't like what you are doing." - which would be the most honest statement, seeing as there is no way to give an answer to why anyone "should" do anything, without stating should according to what goal you want to achieve. If the goal is to butter up to AttyHubby's morality perceptions, the he has failed. If the goal is to avoid resentment by 2 standard deviations away from the mean of the population on the topic, then perhaps he has failed. If the goal is to hit the mean, he is doing right. If the goal is to secure a spot somewhere, he is doing just the right thing to avoid LIFEFAIL. But, then again, I really doubt you are intelligent enough to understand moral relativism, or open enough to question the foundation of your own values. Obviously, you have no need to, so keep living in your comfort zone, believing there is a reason human beings act other than pure self-interest.

QuantumX, chessgames is a smashing page. 😉

 

[Ludicolo]

As someone on the other side of the application process, who happens to read quite a few personal statements, thought I’d chime in here.

let me clarify, i paid someone (yes a stranger that was recommended) to write one for me,

Now that this is established...

I would also caution you about using a PS written for you. They invariably don't match with your application, and if you get an interview it may become painfully obvious that you did not write your own PS. Not a good impression.

This. We can tell.

actually there are agencies that charge $500, and yes there are many people who choose that op.

Doesn't make it right.

this is not an ethical issue, (there's no false info in the ps), some people seek the assistance of friends, attendings, family, some people don't have that luxury. regardless of your opinion it happens, and it's a business making good money too. Good luck

Again, doesn’t make it right. These agencies prey on the naïve, the desperate, the lazy. The lack of judgment here is concerning for a future physician.

I gotta side w/ AttyHubby on this one. Asking for guidance is one thing. Asking and paying someone to do your work for you, and taking credit for it, is quite another. This issue isn’t limited to school/residency applications by any stretch of the imagination. In academic medicine for example, the medical ghostwriting industry is under heavy fire at this point in time. This is academic dishonesty. Period.

 

[drmom33]

I still think that if someone, especially img's, can afford to have a professional write one because they can't write their own, and it's all accurate info, why would that bother anyone? As most of you chimed in, it really doesn't weigh in to most amg's but for an img to write their own, have it sound like the piece i posted above, could be the breaking point for that applicant. I think it would be dishonest if they denied it.

 

[smq123]

I still think that if someone, especially img's, can afford to have a professional write one because they can't write their own, and it's all accurate info, why would that bother anyone? As most of you chimed in, it really doesn't weigh in to most amg's but for an img to write their own, have it sound like the piece i posted above, could be the breaking point for that applicant. I think it would be dishonest if they denied it.

Your lack of insight into the ethics of this is disturbing.

It's not a question of whether or not the info is accurate. It's whether or not your have the ethical and moral fortitude to write your own PERSONAL statement.

If you paid someone else to write yours because you are too lazy to write a simple, ONE page essay, then you're too lazy to be a good physician. I mean, it's one page! About your personal beliefs! It doesn't even require research or a chart review or a PubMed search or anything!

If you paid someone else to write yours because your English is too poor to write a simple essay, then your English is too poor to allow you to be an effective physician in the United States, where the dominant language is still English.

 

[Ludicolo]

I still think that if someone, especially img's, can afford to have a professional write one because they can't write their own, and it's all accurate info, why would that bother anyone? As most of you chimed in, it really doesn't weigh in to most amg's but for an img to write their own, have it sound like the piece i posted above, could be the breaking point for that applicant. I think it would be dishonest if they denied it.

Or to put it in your terms:

If a program can afford to hire someone else because you can’t or won’t do your own work, why would that bother you?

 

[RegularNihilist]

Your lack of insight into the ethics of this is disturbing.

It's not a question of whether or not the info is accurate. It's whether or not your have the ethical and moral fortitude to write your own PERSONAL statement.

If you paid someone else to write yours because you are too lazy to write a simple, ONE page essay, then you're too lazy to be a good physician. I mean, it's one page! About your personal beliefs! It doesn't even require research or a chart review or a PubMed search or anything!

If you paid someone else to write yours because your English is too poor to write a simple essay, then your English is too poor to allow you to be an effective physician in the United States, where the dominant language is still English.

1. There are textbooks concerning what you have to say to a person in an elevator to secure a job interview. I don't think you get to recite an entire page in an elevator, not even in a skyscraper. So much for the "it's only one page" argument.
2. Like stated earlier, the point isn't emphasizing your own beliefs. The point is getting a spot. If you were a program director, given your use of the words "ethics", let's be honest here - would you be more likely to give me a job if I admitted not believing in ethics vs. making a statement emphasizing the importance of "being ethical???"
3. What do you mean by "good physician," and where is the empirical link showing how using ghostwriters makes you a lesser physician, according to your own parameters?

Don't speak too much of ethical fortitudes. As a moderator, you are clearly a prime example of the non-existence of ethics. If you have users you don't like, you will get rid of them sooner or later, as you are always capable of finding a lame excuse, if you even need one. There is nothing ethical about you. Don't confuse ethics with conventionalism, although conventionalism could be seen as the true basis of the ethical realism.

 

[RegularNihilist]

If a program can afford to hire someone else because you can't or won't do your own work, why would that bother you?

Or put it another way. If someone else is hired, just because you didn't bother doing research on what had to be in a personal statement, would that bother you? If you could have secured a job using a pro to write your PS, but you were too hung up on what smq123 and ludicolo would feel, would that bother you?

DrMom, I'd love to write your Personal Statement for fun. Tell me a little bit about where you apply, and give me some names to google, so that I can tailor your statement to what the fellas would likely look for. It would be exceptionally great if you applied at a place with tons of religious zealots. I am sure I can do it.

 

[howelljolly]

I still think that if someone, especially img's, can afford to have a professional write one because they can't write their own, and it's all accurate info, why would that bother anyone? As most of you chimed in, it really doesn't weigh in to most amg's but for an img to write their own, have it sound like the piece i posted above, could be the breaking point for that applicant. I think it would be dishonest if they denied it.

You're not reading what people are posting here.

As WS said, the PS doesnt matter all that much. I'd think that the "info" on the PS is largely irrelevant. Likely, what is looked at is what you focus on, what you seem to think about your own experiences and decisions, and HOW you say it. Just like the Step2 CS, they are looking at how articulate you are. As in many things in life, it isnt what you say. It's how you say it.

So back you what you said... if its "accurate info, why would that bother anyone?" Because the "info" is irrelevant. And what counts, is taken away from a ghostwritten PS - not just removed, but replaced by something else.

Also, if you cant see for yourself that the excerpt you posted is in a mess of English which can't even be characterized in a grade level... Every other word is awkward, misused, unqualified, or inappropriate in formal writing.

I suspect you are making this all up to cut the tension of the next wave of invites.

 

[drmom33]

well it's good to know that so many value true ethics in the physician world, apparently we disagree on the guidelines. But one thing that is true in which was revealed through this "discussion", the underlying issue is img-phobia, yes this is the US and the language is still English last time I checked, but you better believe that among those top physicians are img's who's primary language is not English.
Thanks for the offer RegularNihilist, maybe next year.😀

 

[howelljolly]

well it's good to know that so many value true ethics in the physician world, apparently we disagree on the guidelines. But one thing that is true in which was revealed through this "discussion", the underlying issue is img-phobia, yes this is the US and the language is still English last time I checked, but you better believe that among those top physicians are img's who's primary language is not English.
Thanks for the offer RegularNihilist, maybe next year.😀

What?

Something like 25% of physicians in the US are IMGs.

Everyone knows that fluency in English is one of the factors thats assessed in the residency application process. Its not IMG-phobia, and its not underlying anything. Its out there.

Ever since the TOEFL was removed from the requirements for IMGs to get licensed in the US, the Step2 CS, Personal Statement, and Residency Interview have become the means for assessing fluency in English. Everyone knows that - its out there in writing.

I take it you had your PS ghostwritten because English isnt your first language....?

Whatever.


On a tangentially related but instructive note, A doc I met was talking about the issues of IMGs trying to get through the various checkpoints of the English fluency issue, but she kept on referring to English being the IMGs 3rd or 4th language - rather than it being "not their first language" I thought that was an interesting and humbling way of putting it, and I decided to do some spot checks. Turned out that it was true. Most of my small sample size spoke an African language, plus French, plus English... or Arabic - French - English, or two eastern European languages, or two Indian languages.....