Personal Statement Fun?

[nabilesmail]

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So I wanted to start my personal statement today, and just started fooling around for fun (not taking it seriously, just getting in the mood of writing). I wrote the following, and it dawned me, can we write like this in a PS. For humor and creative writing? Obiously, I would lay off the fun and really explain my reasons for being a doctor. I was thinking something like this could be engaging/fun to read.

"Corruption marks a fine print on the skeleton of humanity. The lack of endearment plagues through the world infecting person to person as a common virus. But lo and behold, I am here to end this vicious suffering. I am here to block the shadow freeing the light to illuminate through the hearts of mankind. "

 

[tn4596]

no, dont, they will think you are making fun of them/the application process

 

[dsk89]

I'm not 100% sure obviously since I am also applying this cycle, but what you are saying in this statement might come off as slightly cocky and unrealistic. I think it's like when they say, don't make crazy statements like "I'm going to cure cancer". Also, I don't think medical schools are looking for flowery prose and what not. Just get to the point and say what you're going to say. Just my two cents, but regardless, that is an epic few sentences haha.

 

[BlueLabel]

"Corruption marks a fine print on the skeleton of humanity. The lack of endearment plagues through the world infecting person to person as a common virus. But lo and behold, I am here to end this vicious suffering. I am here to block the shadow freeing the light to illuminate through the hearts of mankind. "

😕😕😕

 

[tn4596]

oh no, this openning is pretty funny. but prolly not gonna work/too dansgerous to use
my goal on PS is to make them as boring and generic as possible so they will be the same as the next guy and wont mess up my whole application lol

 

[nabilesmail]

I hear ya. Just wanted to make it a fun process too =/

 

[tn4596]

One of my trashed openning goes about like this, for the motivation essay:

"If I can do it all over again, I wouldnt pick medicine." Said Dr. A. "Medicine isnt what it used to be. I am working many hours and have no time for my wife and kids. I think you should reconsider!" I was appalled. Afterall, he is an almighty attending who had went through it all, and I am merely a pre-medical student. Why did I become interested in medicine in the first place?

....


funny...it was actually a real convo

 

[Stumpyman]

I'd steer clear of it, but I'd still imagine an adcom would be much more amused to read it rather than reading one of the many other cookie-cutter ones. Now, amused in a good way or a bad way is a tough call to make, so it's probably not worth the risk.

 

[EnergyDrink]

So I wanted to start my personal statement today

"Corruption marks a fine print on the skeleton of humanity. The lack of endearment plagues through the world infecting person to person as a common virus. But lo and behold, I am here to end this vicious suffering. I am here to block the shadow freeing the light to illuminate through the hearts of mankind. "

I'm not an adcom member, but this tells me that you're immature, conceited, and delusional. I'm not saying you are, but that is what the intro tells me. You'd have to prove me wrong within 1-2 more sentences before I stop reading.

Not only that, but it is very general and vague.

 

[BlueLabel]

I'm not an adcom member, but this tells me that you're immature, conceited, and delusional. I'm not saying you are, but that is what the intro tells me. You'd have to prove me wrong within 1-2 more sentences before I stop reading.

Not only that, but it is very general and vague.

Not only that but it also is really poorly written. Sorry but it kind of is.

 

[Oxygen206]

"Corruption marks a fine print on the skeleton of humanity. The lack of endearment plagues through the world infecting person to person as a common virus. But lo and behold, I am here to end this vicious suffering. I am here to block the shadow freeing the light to illuminate through the hearts of mankind. "

dafuq did I just read?

 

[At0mic]

"Corruption marks a fine print on the skeleton of humanity. The lack of endearment plagues through the world infecting person to person as a common virus. But lo and behold, I am here to end this vicious suffering. I am here to block the shadow freeing the light to illuminate through the hearts of mankind. "

😕 ...

I realize the whole application process can seem stuffy at times, but play it safe and stick to the serious. Lines like that can make you look pretentious, and humor is subjective. Also, be concise.

 

[Neurosis]

"Corruption marks a fine print on the skeleton of humanity. The lack of endearment plagues through the world infecting person to person as a common virus. But lo and behold, I am here to end this vicious suffering. I am here to block the shadow freeing the light to illuminate through the hearts of mankind. "

someone clearly has a messiah complex...

 

[Wubbles]

I was thinking something like this could be engaging/fun to read.

"Corruption marks a fine print on the skeleton of humanity. The lack of endearment plagues through the world infecting person to person as a common virus. But lo and behold, I am here to end this vicious suffering. I am here to block the shadow freeing the light to illuminate through the hearts of mankind. "

It's great that you're wanting to have some fun and are ready to tackle writing your personal statement but this is not engaging or fun to read....you were joking, right? 😕 Unintelligible 'philosophical' writing is the worst. If you're gonna go that route, you have to do it well.
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[nabilesmail]

It's great that you're wanting to have some fun and are ready to tackle writing your personal statement but this is not engaging or fun to read....you were joking, right? 😕 Unintelligible 'philosophical' writing is the worst. If you're gonna go that route, you have to do it well.
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]...

Guys, THIS WRITING SPECIFICALLY was a joke, I was just playing around. I don't have a messiah complex wtf. I More meant, is it okay to try and take a more fun approach at it. This was something I wrote in 12 seconds, not some proofread thought out process.

But I get it lol, play it safe is the name of the game

 

[NickNaylor]

Guys, THIS WRITING SPECIFICALLY was a joke, I was just playing around. I don't have a messiah complex wtf. I More meant, is it okay to try and take a more fun approach at it. This was something I wrote in 12 seconds, not some proofread thought out process.

But I get it lol, play it safe is the name of the game

Bland and boring is what you're aiming for.

(sent from my phone - please forgive typos)

 

[Tarasaurusrex]

So I wanted to start my personal statement today, and just started fooling around for fun (not taking it seriously, just getting in the mood of writing). I wrote the following, and it dawned me, can we write like this in a PS. For humor and creative writing? Obiously, I would lay off the fun and really explain my reasons for being a doctor. I was thinking something like this could be engaging/fun to read.

"Corruption marks a fine print on the skeleton of humanity. The lack of endearment plagues through the world infecting person to person as a common virus. But lo and behold, I am here to end this vicious suffering. I am here to block the shadow freeing the light to illuminate through the hearts of mankind. "

Ummmmm.....did you just use a metaphor that was metaphorically drawn up from a simile, then continue to use similes to enhance this literary nightmare that is your opening statement? This is truly overkill in the sense that I can barely conclude what topic statement you killed. Also, you sort of sound like you are suffering from some sort of facist-leader complex towards the end there, as if all of humankind as we know it is somehow at your mercy. You may want to tone that down, Jim Jones 😉!

 

[BlueLabel]

Ummmmm.....did you just use a metaphor that was metaphorically drawn up from a simile, then continue to use similes to enhance this literary nightmare that is your opening statement? This is truly overkill in the sense that I can barely conclude what topic statement you killed. Also, you sort of sound like you are suffering from some sort of facist-leader complex towards the end there, as if all of humankind as we know it is somehow at your mercy. You may want to tone that down, Jim Jones 😉!

Bomb first post, T-Rex