Personal statement help!?

[djsbaseball2014]

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So I am currently about 3 paragraphs in on my PS and i just want to know if anybody is willing to look over it and provide feedback on the presentation of my first and second paragraphs. Please comment if you are willing to read over what I have so far.

 

[THEBACKANDFORTH]

I am. 90%+ cars. Received many compliments on my essays during interviews this cycle.

 

[PotGoblinsales10]

I am. 90%+ cars

If my PS sounded like CARS, I'd fail.