Personal statement question

[cowsgomoo]

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Hey everyone
I have just started to work on my statement and wanted some advice. I have read that it is not a good idea to include accomplishments prior to college. Is this true or should I include mine. I have one where I was accepted to a selective school in Australia in 7th grade and I wanted to add that as a hurdle I overcame to get accepted. I was going to add stuff like when I first went to my dentist and how since then I have always wanted to be dentist (6th grade).

Any advice would be appreciated.

 

[ecdoesit]

I had my whole life in my personal statement with heavier emphasis on my college years and why I want to be a dentist. Again, when I look back, it wasnt the strongest essay. As long as it is relevant and interesting, u could put it there.

imo, I am a little more curious about what selective sch how that put u in a disadvanatge. Then I am not sure your 6th grade experience is convcincing at all.

Try to tell ur life that brings out ur quality/personality/values/etc. Make 3-4 main points u want to convey to ur reader. It would be nice if ur reader read it and knows what kinda person u r already.

 

[TaliaTN]

I would not say that you wanted to be a dentist ever since your first visit at a dental office... focus on what you have done to research the field of dentistry beyond your initial interest as a child. That would show maturity, thought, and direction. They hear that bit about, "since the time I got my first filling..." way too much.

I wouldn't include too much about your pre-college years unless you can relate it to where and who you are today, and make it sound really good. Somethings that have been part of your life more recently might be more relevent.

Good luck, and have everybody you know read your essay and offer suggestions, particularly a dentist or a dental student.

 

[cowsgomoo]

Ohh ok I will try to cut out all the things that happened before college. I have written reasons as to why I want to be dentist e.g. like working with hands, satisfaction in improving some ones health, and financial security it will offer me. They are the reasons I gave after more research in the field in my statement beyond those I had in the 6th grade (they were childish reasons). Would these be ok to include? I don’t know but for some reason I am having a real hard time writing this.
Should I include that my academic accomplishments that show me as an academically capable student even though they can see this from my transcript? I mean I have a 4.0 at the moment. Is this selective enough to be placed in the essay?

Thanks for the help.

 

[mochafreak]

You should read the tips on this site and essay edge's site, they are very helpful. Also, try to highlight qualities that aren't explicitly shown elsewhere in your application. They are going to see that you're a great student when they see your GPA. In general, you should write so that they can infer what you're trying to tell them about yourself. In other words, don't write "I've played piano for 8yrs so I have great manual dexterity". Instead, write about a specific experience that illustrates your dexterity. Lot easier said than done 😎

 

[ItsGavinC]

I wouldn't necessarily list ANY reasons why you want to be a dentist. That's part of the personal statement, but if you leave it at that you are really selling yourself short.

The statement is space given to you whereby you can say anything you want. Please don't put adcoms to sleep with your statement. It happens all the time. I've read enough of them to know how boring they can be. THAT is wasted space and doesn't help your application.

For what it's worth, I just finished editing the essays of 6 SDNers this week, so I have some experience at this.

 

[cowsgomoo]

I wouldn't necessarily list ANY reasons why you want to be a dentist. That's part of the personal statement, but if you leave it at that you are really selling yourself short.

The statement is space given to you whereby you can say anything you want. Please don't put adcoms to sleep with your statement. It happens all the time. I've read enough of them to know how boring they can be. THAT is wasted space and doesn't help your application.

For what it's worth, I just finished editing the essays of 6 SDNers this week, so I have some experience at this.

ohh really i might enlist your help when my draft is complete is that cool.

 

[JavadiCavity]

I second Gavin's comment. I don't have experience reading essays from and Adcom's perspective, but I've read friends essays. They all sound the same. It's like pre-dent's get together and write the same essay or they all consult the same book that tells them what to write to "guarantee a spot."

I suggest just writing something interesting and genuine. It's your chance to communicate on paper that you are two things--different than the other 2500 applicants for that school and more than a bunch of numbers and letters on a piece of paper.

 

[cowsgomoo]

that i can do amke it very different to what others write. my teachers have always said i write very different to others but the only problem i am having is what to include in it and what to leave out.

 

[smildoc2]

leave out the financial security bit...

does anyone know what the maximum length is? thanks.

 

[mochafreak]

According to a recent thread: 6000 characters with spaces, which is about 1000 words.

 

[ljca]

Don't sweat the essay too much. I still think your number are weighted more heavily than any other portion of your application. Think of the essay as an introduction to your future interviewers.

 

[AOM]

just an observation. please take it as a constructive criticism. I can see why you're having problems with your essay. Based on your postings, you have a tendency of cramming too much info into your writing. Therere lots of run-on sentences, and your ideas tend to jump around. Obviously your essay will be different in style from your postings, but having a focus is probably the key. Try to start by creating a main theme, then come up with 3 to 5 supporting points. When you started by wondering if you should include your 7th grade experience or your first visit to the dentist in the essay, you're already starting with the wrong foot.

Nobody can tell you if a particular experience is important in your life. Only you can. If it supports your essay strongly, then put it in. I talked about winning a Rubik's Cube competition in seventh grade in my essay. All my friends laughed at it. Guess what, one of my interviewers loved it. He could totally see how doing the Rubik's Cube can help me with my 3-D perception.

The bottom line is do what you think is necessary. Organize your thoughts first. Come up with an original spin on your life, then build it up with interesting stories. The key is to make a connection with the reader, either emotionally or intellectually. They will remember you much better if you make that connection. 🙂

Good luck. I hope this helps.

 

[cowsgomoo]

Thanks for the advice. Yeah English is not my favorite subject, in fact it’s my worst damn those B's in English. Ok will try to organize my thoughts. I have written most of it already at about 750 words and I think that’s all I can write so will try to make it grammatically correct now.

 

[Gulch]

think of your essay as a chance to breathe life and personality into your otherwise statistical application. If you decide to give some reasons you are going to be the best thing that ever happened to the profession of dentistry (notice the hyperbole) be sure that you show, not tell. For example, I wanted to show that I am motivated to serve underserved communities and that I can work with an array of people, so I wrote about working on the Hispanic roadcrew while constructing a freeway overpass. I called it "puentes." When I told my friends I was writing about my unglamorous stint as a dirty, orange shirted, hard hat laborer, they called me crazy. But all my interviewers ate it up and thanked me for being different. 😀

 

[gabrielmeraz]

I had my whole life in my personal statement with heavier emphasis on my college years and why I want to be a dentist. Again, when I look back, it wasnt the strongest essay. As long as it is relevant and interesting, u could put it there.

imo, I am a little more curious about what selective sch how that put u in a disadvanatge. Then I am not sure your 6th grade experience is convcincing at all.

Try to tell ur life that brings out ur quality/personality/values/etc. Make 3-4 main points u want to convey to ur reader. It would be nice if ur reader read it and knows what kinda person u r already.

I did the same thing. I talked abou my life, how I overwent some struggles and did good in school and I finished with my desire and enthusiasm for dentistry. I did it in chronological order. hope this helps

 

[mvs04]

The advice I was given by a surgeon turned professor at my school regarding applying to these professional schools was to make your personal statement "concise and goal-oriented"...

I did mine in the format of:

why I want to be a dentist
+
why I'd be good at it