Personal Thread

[novafan3000]

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Hey guys,

Coming to you tonight as a newly humbled hopeful. My girlfriend of 2 years and I are at the breaking point--between MCAT studying and working 30 hours per week, I am struggling to balance everything in there. I serioulsy stressed so hard the last few semesters trying to keep a high GPA, I ripped my classes being top student in 3/14 classes total. I ended up graduating in Dec with a 3.89 (bad first 2 years). Am I selfish for concentrating so much on my career. I want it. BAD. Its all I've ever dreamed of since my sophomore year of high school. But I feel like I've distanced myself so far from so many friends, family and other things that I should be concentrating on. Medicine is my passion no doubt, just need a reminder I guess why I shouldn't be so upset with a girl. She feels bad that she complains that she cant spend time with me. But we study together and stuff but its just not enough "us" time I suppose. I read so many threads about med students burned out, so I know its not going to get much better any time soon. Just need some advice/reminders I guess why this is all worth it.

 

[MedPR]

Hey guys,

Coming to you tonight as a newly humbled hopeful. My girlfriend of 2 years and I are at the breaking point--between MCAT studying and working 30 hours per week, I am struggling to balance everything in there. I serioulsy stressed so hard the last few semesters trying to keep a high GPA, I ripped my classes being top student in 3/14 classes total. I ended up graduating in Dec with a 3.89 (bad first 2 years). Am I selfish for concentrating so much on my career. I want it. BAD. Its all I've ever dreamed of since my sophomore year of high school. But I feel like I've distanced myself so far from so many friends, family and other things that I should be concentrating on. Medicine is my passion no doubt, just need a reminder I guess why I shouldn't be so upset with a girl. She feels bad that she complains that she cant spend time with me. But we study together and stuff but its just not enough "us" time I suppose. I read so many threads about med students burned out, so I know its not going to get much better any time soon. Just need some advice/reminders I guess why this is all worth it.

Josh is that you?

Gotta find a balance man. Suck it up, or chill out on he academics.

Sent from my SGH-T999 using SDN Mobile

 

[MusicJunkie]

I agree with MedPR. No matter how much you love medicine, if you don't strike some sort of balance or have relationships with the people in your life, you might end up miserable and resentful in the end. After all is said and done, after you become an Attending, what then? What will you have left after you've accomplished the goal?

Find a way to make the time, even if that means sacrificing something else. Take a deep breath, relax. You get one life to live, my friend. Medicine can be your passion, but that doesn't mean it has to be your "be all, end-all." It's important to recognize the difference.

 

[BABSstudent]

Hey guys,

Coming to you tonight as a newly humbled hopeful. My girlfriend of 2 years and I are at the breaking point--between MCAT studying and working 30 hours per week, I am struggling to balance everything in there. I serioulsy stressed so hard the last few semesters trying to keep a high GPA, I ripped my classes being top student in 3/14 classes total. I ended up graduating in Dec with a 3.89 (bad first 2 years). Am I selfish for concentrating so much on my career. I want it. BAD. Its all I've ever dreamed of since my sophomore year of high school. But I feel like I've distanced myself so far from so many friends, family and other things that I should be concentrating on. Medicine is my passion no doubt, just need a reminder I guess why I shouldn't be so upset with a girl. She feels bad that she complains that she cant spend time with me. But we study together and stuff but its just not enough "us" time I suppose. I read so many threads about med students burned out, so I know its not going to get much better any time soon. Just need some advice/reminders I guess why this is all worth it.

You sound like the reason why doctors have such a high divorce rate. You do know being in a relationship is about being with someone else, right?

 

[as1212559]

What PR said. It's hard to have a relationship with a med student. Even harder to have one between two med students (about to learn this in a few months). You just have to be clear with yourself and her what your priorities are.

If you are gunning for high pass, top 10%, AOA, honors rotations, ortho, etc chances are your relationship is going to take a beating. If you genuinely want to make it work with her you can and will, but you have to sacrifice things to make it so. Maybe you aim for pass or mid-pack grades so you can chill out and be with her more then go hard on boards. It all depends on your goals. You gotta be clear with her though.

No one on SDN will begrudge you for choosing to sacrifice your relationship for your career, it is a reality for many people. Just don't let it happen such that you begrudge yourself.

 

[MedPR]

What PR said. It's hard to have a relationship with a med student. Even harder to have one between two med students (about to learn this in a few months). You just have to be clear with yourself and her what your priorities are.

If you are gunning for high pass, top 10%, AOA, honors rotations, ortho, etc chances are your relationship is going to take a beating. If you genuinely want to make it work with her you can and will, but you have to sacrifice things to make it so. Maybe you aim for pass or mid-pack grades so you can chill out and be with her more then go hard on boards. It all depends on your goals. You gotta be clear with her though.

No one on SDN will begrudge you for choosing to sacrifice your relationship for your career, it is a reality for many people. Just don't let it happen such that you begrudge yourself.

Yup. My SO is an M3 wanting to do ophtho. There's a lot of sacrifices we both have had to make for our relationship to survive.

Sent from my SGH-T999 using SDN Mobile

 

[Arbor Vitae]

To put some excitement back into your lives and reinvigorate your relationship, you and your significant other should act out a chapter of 50 shades of grey at least once a week.

 

[wlt217]

I think it's crucial to understand what you want. Take some time to give serious thought to the choices you're making. If you feel that you have to sacrifice your career for a relationship, or vice versa, you should be as careful as you can in making that decision. If you're not sure how to determine what you really want, find someone who's an excellent listener and try talking it out with them. It's definitely a matter of balance, like others have said. But where you should place the balance is not something that others can determine for you. I'd also advise you to make this type of self-reflection a regular activity - don't get too caught up in something without stepping back for a moment to take a look at what you're doing.

 

[911 Turbo]

Yup. My SO is an M3 wanting to do ophtho

Added to medpr.xls

 

[AktionPOTENTIAL]

You are getting good advice here! Humbly take them and make some reasonable adjustments, w/ your partner. I've learned that keeping mine in the loop, updated, aware and a part of all the decisions helped a lot. When she is home, no books, PERIOD. This may mean twice the work in her absence but make it work Big Dawg.

 

[Doudline]

You have too much on your plate, op, it seems obvious.
Full load + 30 hours/week of work + MCAT prep? Like, seriously. Very very few people can manage a schedule like that, and it takes mad organization (or brains) to be succesful.

 

[novafan3000]

I appreciate the responses guys. Everyone says balance is everything in this field, I just have a tough time with it. Like on Valentines Day, I looked forward to it not because I was excited for spend the day with my love but because I was off and could get some hardcore studying done. What kind of life is that? Especially with Sn2'ds schedule. I already did about 4 months of steady content review prior, and I feel like I didn't learn anything in college when I face those BR practice probs which I think makes me anxious. I totally agree with the divorce rate stats. My mom works with a doc top of his class at northwestern, been divorced 3 times. Im willing to sacrifice some of my career to give up those time consuming specialties because I do want more out of life. Shes been so supportive, I just wished she understood the spot we are in. Im so close (4/27 MCAT).

 

[novafan3000]

You have too much on your plate, op, it seems obvious.
Full load + 30 hours/week of work + MCAT prep? Like, seriously. Very very few people can manage a schedule like that, and it takes mad organization (or brains) to be succesful.

I graduated in December but the jobs are very time consuming. And especially because one is in banking, I think I need to tell them I need to cut back or resign. I'd rather be broke and happy because I've seen what it can be like to work this hard, than have money and continue to live like this.

 

[lobo.solo]

You gotta do what you gotta do. Often people make sacrifices to reach their goal, that's the way it goes. Relax considerate yourself fortunate that you spend time with her even when both if you guys are studying.

 

[911 Turbo]

Kinda reminds me of the documentary doctors' diaries... Lol every single doctor in that movie got divorced at least once.



Well except the woman, who got married at like 45.

 

[plumhill]

I've always been a firm believer that now is the stage to prepare yourself for a career, and relationships can wait (which is ironic since I'm dating someone right now). But for the time being, getting into medical school and becoming a physician is my top priority, because no relationship can work (at least not many) until both individuals have built their own personal foundations. But once you've done that, then yes, you need to put in effort to maintain your relationship/marriage and realize that non-work-related life is just as important (if not more important) than work itself.

 

[EarthtoneJon]

Spend time with your girlfriend. You'll never regret it.

 

[Irish Football]

Added to medpr.xls

👍

 

[GatsbyK]

Always make a balance when possible. You will have to sacrifice some things you like. For example I love to game, but when she's around no games period. Same thing with studying, if I want to study I go away. Any time I'm with her nothing of the sort.

 

[drscholls]

Your goals now and your goals 5,10,15 years from now might change. Not saying to change what you are doing, but how does the saying go: no one ever writes I wish I spent more time at work on their tombstone?

 

[wlt217]

There are people who look back and wish they had spent more time with family, and there are people who look back and wonder what they could've accomplished if they had just put in the effort. Just do your best in both worlds and you should have nothing to regret.

 

[touchpause13]

I appreciate the responses guys. Everyone says balance is everything in this field, I just have a tough time with it. Like on Valentines Day, I looked forward to it not because I was excited for spend the day with my love but because I was off and could get some hardcore studying done. What kind of life is that? Especially with Sn2'ds schedule. I already did about 4 months of steady content review prior, and I feel like I didn't learn anything in college when I face those BR practice probs which I think makes me anxious. I totally agree with the divorce rate stats. My mom works with a doc top of his class at northwestern, been divorced 3 times. Im willing to sacrifice some of my career to give up those time consuming specialties because I do want more out of life. Shes been so supportive, I just wished she understood the spot we are in. Im so close (4/27 MCAT).

Here's the thing love. You are really not that close. You seem like the kinda person who goes at all professional things as hard as possible, so when your done with the MCAT you are going to be working like crazy on getting your AMCAS done, then your secondaries, then prepping for interviews, when you get into med school you'll be like this for block exams, board, etc etc etc. Don't wait to live your life until you are finished with X accomplishment because you. will. never. get. there. there always is one more thing you gotta do until you can be happy. Personally, that's not how I want to live my life, yes I focus on the big things but you have to try and enjoy the ride! have a good valentines day with your girlfriend, do something spontaneous, get a cool hobby, for ****s sake try and form some sort of a relationship with another human being (if that's too big of a step try getting a cat) Seriously, live a little, do something stupid every now and again, you don't wanna be that 60 year whose only story about their 20s was spending every waking hour with their nose in a book.

 

[Mt Kilimanjaro]

Yeah but you're not close.

First it's MCAT. Then it's application cycle. Then interviews. Then you get in. Yay.

Then it's Step 1. Then it's clinical grades. Then it's residency interviews and Step 2.

Then it's intern year. Then it's Step 3. Then it's mock boards. Then it's real boards. Then maybe it's fellowship time. Then it's research. Then your colleagues have a bigger house/better car/hotter spouse than you. Then your kids have to get into the prestigious pre-school.

It never ends. You need a strategy of contentment or life will swallow you whole.