Poems - Can they be used in the personal statement?

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Crick3t

Crick3t

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Hello everyone! Before you IMMEDIATELY say that poems are too flashy, and show that you're immature/fanciful, I was wondering if anyone else had put themselves in the shoes of adcoms, and wondered if it would be nice to get the letters mixed up with entertainment once in awhile. I have drafted several other more traditional forms of my letter, but I was sitting outside today in the sun and thought it would be fun to see if I could write a poem about my intent to enter the field of medicine.

If you can, let me know what you think about the idea in general about employing, IN PART, a poem into your personal statement, or just what you think about the poem? =)

Here it is:

.My mother once turned and said to me,.
 .Just be the best man that you can be,.
 .and ever since that fateful eve.
 .I hold in my heart and still believe.

 .that it is not about prestige or pomp,.
 .Or running away o’er fields to romp.
 .But caring, kindness and solidarity.
 .These are the things of import to me..

 .So now my goal, my wish, my dream,.
 .the life affixed within my beam,.
 .Is this chance to wear a long, white coat .
 .a thinking hat, and a stethoscope..

 .I will make each day a goal of mine.
 .To serve PEOPLE: poor/rich/ and on-the-line.
 .Regardless - I’ll help everyone.
 .For just one more day to see the sun.

 .For once we pass all that is left.
 .Are those we’ve loved or leave bereft.
 .It’s up to us how our song is sung.
 .The point need not be etern’ly young..

 .What I plan to bring and bare to you.
 .Is my joy of life and love enough for two,.
 .For healing is more than pills and time.
 .Not all wounds close and then sublime..
.
.My vow then lasts, and hear me roar
..I will not tire and I will not bore
..If chance is granted, than be at rest
..I’ll stand up this time, and do all the rest..


Kind of fun, yeah? I was thinking of changing the ending, maybe give it a little more 'oomph', but I would of course then include my own story, in a less poetic form.

Thanks guys n' gals.
-Cricket 😛
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So why do you exactly want to go into medicine? There is that one line about healing... but you know... yeah.

Also, you have up to 5300 characters. I don't think you're utilizing that at all.
 
Only my opinion as a medical student, but I do not think it is a good idea. It doesn't really convince me that you understand medicine and have clear goals. I am also not sure if adcoms, which I believe tend to be more traditional, would favor something so "creative" and "out of the box". However, if you really want to, perhaps you could use it in a secondary where they ask if there's "anything else you want to tell us".
 
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I'm not feeling it.

It's unique and all, but I'm not feeling it.
 
That poem is gonna take up too much room, IMO. I just plugged it into the AMCAS form and it takes up about 1/5 of your allowed space. That all could be used way more efficiently. Also, it doesn't seem very professional. I mean, maybe I'd like the break from the monotony of essays, but that 1/5 of your application would tell me nothing about why you want to go to medical school. It's just very wordy and reiterative. I do like it though, just not for a personal statement.
 
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Wouldn't be prudent.
 
I loved the poem! But having that as your whole PS wouldn't be a good idea. I had a short poem at the beginning of my PS, only 6 or so lines long. Worked pretty well, methinks.
 
I figured out why it didn't sit well with me. At that length, it feels gimmicky and unprofessional, and you don't want to do that with your personal statement. If you're dead-set on using it, I echo silverlining's advice about sticking it in somewhere into the secondary, but I also caution against that too. Maybe figure out how to condense it into one stanza and have it preface the meat of your statement, so that it acts more like garnish and not an integral component of your essay.
 
Personally I think it's a stupid poem. Not that I think my taste in poetry means shiitake, but you have to consider that people in general have such variable taste in poems that you're bound to get at least a few on adcoms who similarly don't like it.
 
Even though you wrote it, it's on the Internet now. So who's to say you didn't steal it?
 
It's not a bad poem, but in this context it just seems like fluff to me with nothing substantial. It just sounds like a glorified way of saying "I'm entering medicine because I want to help people". It says nothing about your life experiences and how you arrived to where you are.
 
lol, inserting a poem is certainly original. Unfortunately, I would have to say that the poem is lacking in certain areas.

Constructive criticism: I can tell you worked hard on the meter, but the way I read it in my mind it seems to flow like a nursery rhyme. One way to remedy this is to use a rhyming pattern ABAB rather than AABB. Some of your phrases seem a little cliched- "hear me roar". But, the most important thing in poetry is to incoporate emotion. When I read your poem, it seemed to be just to be kind of whiny and pleading.

I'm just curious but do you usually write poetry? Unless you have experience with it, I would refrain from adding it to your application because you would need to spruce this poem up if you want it to "wow" the admissions committee. I'm sorry if what i wrote seems harsh to you, but its my opinion if you're going to risk a gamble like this and present an unorthodox PS, then you had better be turning in your best work.
 
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I'm sorry, but - even outside the context of a personal statement - this poem is heinous.

My favorite part is how you use contractions like "o'er" that don't do anything for the rhythm; in fact there is no rhythm in the entirety of this poem. Remember, the purpose of these contractions is rhythmical.

Now, take a poem (which, stand alone, is poorly written), place it in the professional context of a medical school application essay, and you have a disaster. A personal statement isn't even the place for a well-written poem. A well-written poem (as opposed to yours) would have some depth, but no adcom is going to take the time to dig into it.

Honestly, if I opened up an application and read this thing, it would take a path straight to the shredder. I'm not trying to be an a--hole, but I want to be sure that you don't submit this; not only is it inappropriate in this context, but any English professor would point out to you how poorly it is written.

I'm not stupid, and I know what good writing is; please don't let things like this leak out onto your application!
 
No offense, but a bad poem and a really bad idea. You are not Dylan Thomas or T.S.Elliot, and even if you were, which you are not, anyone on the admissions committee would go WTF. Do yourself a favor and forget this. A great way not to get admitted to medical school.
 
I don't know about yall, but I just plagiarized my PS from a tale of two cities. Adcoms seemed to eat it up though.
 
Mad props for trying to be creative, so don't be so harsh on the OP, people.
Perosnally, if I was an adcom, I would invite you to interview just to see who was it that had the guts to write a poem for PS.
 
While I think the poem is much too long (one or two stanzas would be plenty), a derm resident with whom I worked applied for a fellowship and wrote a short poem in her personal statement. It got her an interview and ultimately the fellowship.
 
I like the poem alot but I wouldn't use it as a personal statement. Maybe it could be a creative activity that you enter on the AMCAS...but I think you would get into space and format issues.

I read a personal statement way back in the day that looked like normal text and read almost like a normal PS but it was all rhymed when read right, it even had the right rythm. Some lit major wrote it, I wish I could find it now. It was fantastic.
 
My opinion is that it is only worth doing something different if you can risk it. So unless you have a 4.0 and a 48 MCAT, start working on your personal statement.
 
zenlike said:
Psh. You should send in something like this: http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3608/3399666518_5b17660c66_o.jpg
Click to expand...

:laugh: That was a great resume for the field, but too bad he misspelled "Organization."

OP, I enjoyed the poem. Definitely not on the PS though. I liked the idea of it as "garnish" (don't remember who said that).

I do think if you're going to add it then it better be good and directly applicable or it will probably turn more people off than it will turn on.
 
adamMD said:
My opinion is that it is only worth doing something different if you can risk it. So unless you have a 4.0 and a 48 MCAT, start working on your personal statement.
Click to expand...

What if you had a 46? Can I still use this poem?:xf:
 
Wow. I did not expect so many responses 😵 Thanks though! I was more interested in asking about poetry in general, not so much about this one, I just thought it would be fun to post.

For those of you wondering:

1) NO, I did not intend for this 'idea' to be the entirety of my PS.

2) (obviously) I don't write poetry much, but it was a beautiful day and I was bored, and I was more asking for future reference and consideration. In fact, this may be the first poem I've written since grade school.

3) If I did enter a poem, it would almost certainly not be this one. Not that you guys scarred me for life or anything. 😀 Don't worry, I have some skin - and it's mostly tough.

4) I understand that this is WAY too long for a personal statement. I probably should have mentioned that. If I did enter one it would not be a significant portion of the statement.

Thanks for the responses though guys n' gals, that was snappy! Good luck everyone!
 
the problem with poem written by 99% of the non-lit major people: lit major people think it sounds like nursery rhyme.

the problem with poem written by 99% of lit people: normal people think it sounds stuck up, snobby, and does not rhyme.
 
I like the poem. But I also agree that you should be very careful. It is definitely safer to be more on the conservative side.

On the other hand, you want to express yourself, and also stand out a little bit. I put a little bit of humor in my PS, which some people felt was unprofessional and didn't recommend. But my undergrad advisor pointed out to me that if he was reading over about 50 applications a day or so, having that little bit of humor was kind of a breath of fresh air. That little special something can be what it takes to re-energize the person going over your application--because lets face it, they have a lot to go over and most look the same, so they may be pretty worn out when they get to your application.

Personally, I think a stanza or two could be really nice. But I'm also an art major so I don't think too similarly to other pre-meds!

Good luck!
 
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if you do it, I'll pony up $20 for you. Anyone else? Maybe we could get enough to cover the AMCAS fees
 
I wonder if we can write a rap song for our PS. 😛
 
Just say no to rhyming couplets.:cry:

Seriously. If you're going to write poetry, please use more refined and complicated meters and rhyme schemes. :cry:
 
zidrem said:
I'm sorry, but - even outside the context of a personal statement - this poem is heinous.

My favorite part is how you use contractions like "o'er" that don't do anything for the rhythm; in fact there is no rhythm in the entirety of this poem. Remember, the purpose of these contractions is rhythmical.

Now, take a poem (which, stand alone, is poorly written), place it in the professional context of a medical school application essay, and you have a disaster. A personal statement isn't even the place for a well-written poem. A well-written poem (as opposed to yours) would have some depth, but no adcom is going to take the time to dig into it.

Honestly, if I opened up an application and read this thing, it would take a path straight to the shredder. I'm not trying to be an a--hole, but I want to be sure that you don't submit this; not only is it inappropriate in this context, but any English professor would point out to you how poorly it is written.

I'm not stupid, and I know what good writing is; please don't let things like this leak out onto your application!
Click to expand...

Haha, at least the OP isn't applying to "become the bard" school.
 
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