Possible 3rd time reapplicant, loss of support from family-advice please

[neurosci08]

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Hi everyone,

I might be applying again this time around to medical school, which would be my third time. I was just talking summer plans with my mom and mentioned it depends on if I need to apply. The reaction I got was pretty disheartening, especially from someone I have had a lot of support from before. She basically wanted to know why I would apply again, especially for my age. And then she questioned if I had a backup plan.

This is coming from a parent who never attended college (neither of my parents did) and from a family who is not in the medical field at all (I already am the first on both sides to attend college and graduate school, as well as hopefully medical school). Both of my older sisters are married and both did graduate college but went straight into their professions (business and economics).

A bit about myself: After college I spent three years performing research, applying for the first time in between my 2nd and 3rd year post-graduation. When I realized I was not likely going to have an interview invite (around March), I applied to a 2 year postbacc to get my Master's degree. I applied in between the 1st and 2nd year, which was this past summer. So far I have not received an interview and have a few ideas why (after a critical review by a top 20 med school admissions officer, which I am working on improving now). Currently I am only 26, turning 27 over the summer and have been working in research part-time throughout my postbacc. My PI has already offered me a full time position if I am unsuccessful this time around so I have already a secure job for next year if I need to reapply. Also, I am essentially debt free (minus a bit of credit card charges from this application period that will be interest free until the end of the year), this is mainly because I worked throughout college, after college and during my postbacc.

Am I crazy for feeling a bit hurt by my mom's lack of support and understanding? It's not like I am living off of them and have never worked? Plus I also now have 5 publications to my name as well as 2 more pending, which in my mind is pretty awesome.

My absolute back-up plan would be to apply Caribbean next round if I am unsuccessful in getting invites by December. Plus I plan to apply DO right away since I waited until later in the cycle this time, which is a huge mistake I realize now. I was thinking of applying Caribbean this round, but I have a 1 1/2 year old dog and really don't want to leave him behind or have to move him there for 2 years (which I hear is very hard and stressful on the animal).

Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this or has been in a similar situation? I know I could easily enter into a PhD program and make research my career but that is not what I love doing and I know I would in the long run not be happy with that as my career. I know I will make a great doctor and I can't imagine doing anything else in my life besides that.

Thanks for any posts in advance! This has really just ruined my day and honestly I am a little bit emotionally wrecked from it and don't know how to respond to a family that doesn't know how much time and effort applying takes as well as how hard it is to have these rejections but still try again.

 

[BuddyTheElf]

Long response coming at you:
First, I'm curious as to what your stats are. Have you been improving your app in the weak spots?
For your mom's lack of support: Take it with a grain of salt. I know that's hard to do if you're close to your family. I have gone through a similar situation as you. No one in my family has attended college, so they have no idea what the med school application process is like. The response I always received was "You're so smart, you'll get in on your first try"... they just don't get how competitive it is and how many times people apply before getting accepted. 27 years old is not "that old". Apply EARLY and broadly. Early, early, early. That's the best advice. You just need to keep telling them about this process and that it's not just you going through this. It helped to tell my parents about the countless MD's and DO's that I shadowed who applied 3, 4, and 5 years to get into medical school. It puts things into perspective for them if they realize that almost ALL medical applicants go through this. Don't get me wrong, it's always a good idea to have a back-up plan. But I'd apply again before losing hope. Don't feel too hurt by your mom, she just doesn't get it. My mom asked me the same thing this year (2nd year applying)... kept asking if I would consider PA school, yadda, yadda. I just had to keep telling her about the process and reminding her that this is how it is for everyone. It doesn't mean I won't get in and it doesn't mean I'm stupid. It's just that competitive.
Keep your head up, they'll come around.
Good luck this cycle!!! Stay positive!!!

 

[clued]

I'd have to agree - apply as early as possible! I am a reapplicant who took off a couple years (one during and one after undergrad) and I wish I didn't apply last year. I applied around Aug/sept and although I got a couple interviews I think it definitely hurt my chances. When I didn't get in last year my parents were already giving me the speech about considering another option. They thought I'd have no problem getting in but they too did not go to college nor do they understand the application process. This time around I applied in June and got more interviews. Now I have an acceptance, still waiting on other schools, and I believe just the mere fact of hitting submit earlier really helped.

Anyways, just stay positive and remind yourself you're doing this for you. Surround yourself with people who will support you and cheer you on!

 

[lalalaaaaaa]

"Sometimes you have to be a one-man wolf pack."

 

[BabyDoc86]

I understand where you are coming from. My family is the same--mom never finished college, no one in the medical field. I applied three times to only my in-state school, since my college advisor told me that I'd have the best shot there (and I stupidly took his advice), and was waitlisted three times, after improving my app each year and earning a Master's degree. This was my fourth year applying there, and I branched out and added several more schools. So far, four acceptances, while still waiting on two schools.

Don't be too discouraged if it takes a third try. Find some other support structure--friends, colleagues, S/O, someone who will be encouraging. Contact your schools and see what you can improve upon for next cycle. I would also say to apply broadly to MD and DO, and apply as early as you can.

Good luck!!

 

[domainpro]

Keep your head up and really, re-take the MCAT, it is by far the best investment of your time if you really want to have schools flood you with II in October. Just apply MD & DO EARLY and you will be fine (How do I know? I had worse sGPA & cGPA scores than you and my first MCAT was close to yours.)

Good luck

 

[Goro]

I'd say that your mom is smarter than you think. College degree or no, asking if you have a back-up plan is wisdom, pure and simple.

Hi everyone,

I might be applying again this time around to medical school, which would be my third time. I was just talking summer plans with my mom and mentioned it depends on if I need to apply. The reaction I got was pretty disheartening, especially from someone I have had a lot of support from before. She basically wanted to know why I would apply again, especially for my age. And then she questioned if I had a backup plan.

This is coming from a parent who never attended college (neither of my parents did) and from a family who is not in the medical field at all (I already am the first on both sides to attend college and graduate school, as well as hopefully medical school). Both of my older sisters are married and both did graduate college but went straight into their professions (business and economics).

A bit about myself: After college I spent three years performing research, applying for the first time in between my 2nd and 3rd year post-graduation. When I realized I was not likely going to have an interview invite (around March), I applied to a 2 year postbacc to get my Master's degree. I applied in between the 1st and 2nd year, which was this past summer. So far I have not received an interview and have a few ideas why (after a critical review by a top 20 med school admissions officer, which I am working on improving now). Currently I am only 26, turning 27 over the summer and have been working in research part-time throughout my postbacc. My PI has already offered me a full time position if I am unsuccessful this time around so I have already a secure job for next year if I need to reapply. Also, I am essentially debt free (minus a bit of credit card charges from this application period that will be interest free until the end of the year), this is mainly because I worked throughout college, after college and during my postbacc.

Am I crazy for feeling a bit hurt by my mom's lack of support and understanding? It's not like I am living off of them and have never worked? Plus I also now have 5 publications to my name as well as 2 more pending, which in my mind is pretty awesome.

My absolute back-up plan would be to apply Caribbean next round if I am unsuccessful in getting invites by December. Plus I plan to apply DO right away since I waited until later in the cycle this time, which is a huge mistake I realize now. I was thinking of applying Caribbean this round, but I have a 1 1/2 year old dog and really don't want to leave him behind or have to move him there for 2 years (which I hear is very hard and stressful on the animal).

Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this or has been in a similar situation? I know I could easily enter into a PhD program and make research my career but that is not what I love doing and I know I would in the long run not be happy with that as my career. I know I will make a great doctor and I can't imagine doing anything else in my life besides that.

Thanks for any posts in advance! This has really just ruined my day and honestly I am a little bit emotionally wrecked from it and don't know how to respond to a family that doesn't know how much time and effort applying takes as well as how hard it is to have these rejections but still try again.

 

[VictorAlpha]

I had a largely similar story. (Granted, I don't know what your stats are). My parents were generally supportive though, they even helped money-wise on the first time around when I was in UG.

I got a master's and a couple publications but they weren't released b4 my latest app. If it is what you really want then I say go after it. But don't burn any bridges either...keep your options open.

When I told people I was going to apply again, they would say, "oh alright. I'm sure things will work out." ...or something generic like that. But I'm sure they were thinking, "why would you do that? If it didn't work the first two times..."

I mean ok...I don't know what your stats are but assuming you are in the range you need to be in. Continue to volunteer etc... gather a couple new letters, (5 pubs makes me jealous)...you can do it.

And I mean I don't know your situation but I'm sure your mom is just worried for you; as in like "how are things going to turn out" kinda way.
I gave my parents some reasonable dialogue about possible interests/backup plans....even though I still said that I would want to apply again. Maybe kind of have that discussion a little bit; you don't have to give up and do something else but just don't close any doors is all I'm saying.

Good Luck!