probably a bit late for 2nd thoughts...

[zpinkpanther]

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So, I don't really know what I'm looking for by posting this, so any responses are welcome. Maybe advice is what I need, I don't know. This may end up just being a whiny ranting post... if so, I apologize in advance.

I've been having major 2nd thoughts about becoming a vet in the past month or so (so I know it's not just the stress of finals, although that's no fun, too... 🙄). It's not that I'm doing poorly- I'm doing great in 2 classes, and decently in the other 2. I've just been wondering if this is really what I want to do with my life. I feel absolutely shaken because this is something I've been wanting to do my whole life and now I'm having doubts. So I think I've decided to take a leave of absence for now, take a step back and think about it, and decide what I want to do from there.

The problem is, I feel so guilty about this. I feel like my family, my friends, and I have put so much time, effort, and money into this, and I'm just flushing it down the crapper. I think that, at the moment, this is the right decision for me, but I feel like I'm being selfish.

Anyway, that's what's going on. Sorry for the angst. 🙁

 

[Pistol Pete]

It appears you are in your 1st year of vet school on an island likely far away from home and friends. Throw in a healthy dose of pressure to make grades and progress toward a DVM and it is not that surprising you might be doubting your choice. My only quesiton is....when you get home or wherever you take your sabbatical...are you going to feel like you are wasting your time or losing time toward, what appears to be, your one and only career path since childhood?

Do you know the core issue?...pressure, home-sick, dislike for school/classmates...I'd make sure I knew the answer to that question before doing anything drastic.

Good luck with your choice!

PP

 

[1Vista1Grey]

what would u choose for a career if u werent a vet?

 

[Pandacinny]

I think part of the issue here could be that you're really stressed. You've mentioned before that you're not happy living so far from home and I know that for me, I'd get pretty depressed if I was feeling that way long term. I think coming home for a leave of absence might be good for you. You'll probably be happier at home and working with a clinic here (or in some other aspect of the field) can help you make sure this is really what you want to do. It'll also help you see whether what you're feeling is actually second thoughts about the career, or is just because you're unhappy with where you are right now.

 

[jglovicz]

Is there a way that you could take a quarter/semester/quarter off? I agree that you're probably having second thoughts because you are stressed out. On the other hand, it is okay to change your mind, and it would suck to complete 4 years (and owe $200 grand) before realizing that you want to go into a different profession. I agree with the rest, it is likely that you are unhappy in your current living situation. Is there someone that you can speak with (like a counselor for the vet med students)?

 

[bluesky11]

Zpink:
I am sad to hear that you are having second thoughts. They are always so tough to deal with… I think most of us have been in the same place! I hope the semester off will give you a chance to explore other options that might be a better fit for you or that may re-inspire your journey. Or hopefully you can figure out if it is the stress from school and being away from friends and family that is giving you second thoughts. School is stressful, it may be the pressure you are under not that you are having second thoughts about the career choice.

Remember that getting a DVM will open many doors for you… There are TONS of options for you once you have your degree. Maybe you just haven’t discovered the perfect niche for you or you temporarily lost sight of your goal… don’t forget that becoming a DVM is a dream of yours for a reason and that you worked hard for it.
You may just need to find your goal again, or do some searching to remember why you want to be at school, once you find your goal again it will be easier to stay inspired at school.
I don’t know if that helped but I know that every time I have second guessed myself I have only come up with better opportunities and options for myself. Don’t get too down about disappointing others, this is your life and your journey, make the most of it!

 

[lazyjayn]

I agree with Pete- it could be stress, but it could be something easy to fix. When I was off being bad, I got super homesick. Not for people, who I could pretty much skype and chat with for as long as I wanted, but for food. If someone would have airmailed me a bag of doritos, some mac and cheese, and some enchilada sauce/ good salsa, and a thing of real ranch, I would have been fine again, rather than totally freaking out and pretty much shutting down.

So is it that you want something that's like home?

And what kind of LOA are we talking here? Like over summer, or a whole year? If it's summer- You'll go home, and it'll be great for a while, and you may decide you don't want to go back... but most likely, with the break, you'll feel more relaxed, and ready to get back to things. With a year, there's a lot of stuff to forget, and you might not go back.

Otherwise- you wanna care package?

-j.

 

[sumstorm]

Just a thought;

Is it the education that is the problem, or is it the career? Those are VERY different things. I have spoken with excellent vets who LOVE the profession and work, but despised the process of getting there. Sadly, I have also worked with vets who loved the education process, but hate the job and work.

When you think of your future (absent of the present) what do you see, think, and feel? Can you imagine yourself performing as a vet? How does that feel in the center of your being?

I think the most important thing you can do is seperate out education and career and figure out which is the problem, or if it is both.

Can you work with a counselor for a few weeks before making major decisions? Even a counselor via phone might be helpful for sorting everything out.

 

[redsteven]

As others have said, you should try to find out exactly what the problem is.

Of course, that's easier said than done. I think you should definitely see a counselor about it.

And I understand what you mean about being selfish. Everybody else gets so involved in your life (because they're trying to help you and support you) that it feels like you're letting them down if you can't come through with something.

 

[sumstorm]

Oh, just wanted to say, it is far better to have second thoughts and figure it out than 5 years from now. One of our vets has realized that she isn't happy being a vet...but has so much debt that she feels obligated to practice vet medicine to have the ability to reasonably pay the debt. I keep hoping she finds another path (teaching maybe?) because she is so unhappy. I think if she had specialized and was in an upscale clinic, she would be happier...but she didn't feel like she could afford to do an internship or a residency due to the loan burden.

 

[zpinkpanther]

Hey guys, thanks so much for all of the insight and encouragement. I completely agree that stress and other emotions (homesick, etc.) may be clouding my judgement right now, which is why I think a semester off this summer is the best thing. I have a few other career options in mind that I think I'd be happy with, so I'll do some exploring and see how I feel about it after spending some time away from here. I think it's true that the location really gets to me, so I think I need to be away from it for a while to see if it's that or if I really would be happier doing something else.

And you thought 23 was too young for a quarter-life crisis... 🙄

 

[cateyes]

Have you gotten any word yet on whether you were accepted as a transfer to a us school? Would that affect your decision at all?
You need to do what's best for you, or school will be miserable. If Ross will let you take the semester off and you think it will help you figure things out, definitely do it. This way you can go back to school with new focus...or do whatever you decide is better for you secure that you made the right decision.
Either way, I'm rooting for you. Hope it all works out for you!

 

[Caninerepro]

Have you gotten any word yet on whether you were accepted as a transfer to a us school? Would that affect your decision at all?
You need to do what's best for you, or school will be miserable. If Ross will let you take the semester off and you think it will help you figure things out, definitely do it. This way you can go back to school with new focus...or do whatever you decide is better for you secure that you made the right decision.
Either way, I'm rooting for you. Hope it all works out for you!

I was wondering about that as well, I know it is done especially from Ross.

 

[VeganChick]

Hey zPink - I think that all the factors mentioned above are definitely contributing to your thoughts and feelings right now. A semester off would probably be a good thing. I gather you went right from undergrad into vet school without a breather? That is TOUGH, especially out of the country and in a challenging academic environment. Taking time off to breathe - time to be just you, not you-striving-for-something (acceptance to a school, grades, etc). - will make you more confident in the future about whatever you decide. You don't ever want to say to yourself, "what if I explored different options?"

You know everyone here supports you 100% - a happy person is a successful person. We all want you to be happy.

I'll be thinking of you 🙂

 

[lailanni]

You're not the only one. School is a pain in the arse, it is stressful, away from our normal home environment with all our old friends and family, and can be pretty dang difficult.

There are some days where I hate what I'm doing. I wake up to look at dead animals and books for hours, then go to sleep and do it all over again.

BUT the thing I tell myself is that vet school is just a means to an end. It's not what you'll be doing the rest of your life. You will get out and actually get to work with animals. It sure doesn't seem like that now, but hang in there.

I'm looking forward to summer break to decompress, work with real, living animals, and spend time at home. I think after that I'll be ready to hit 2nd year. Maybe you will too 🙂 And heck, if you take a breather and decide that it isn't for you: more power to you! Everyone has the right to pick their own path whatever it may be!

 

[rugbychick16]

There are some days where I hate what I'm doing. I wake up to look at dead animals and books for hours, then go to sleep and do it all over again.

Ditto.

I ranted to my boyfriend the other night about how tired I am of dead rotting specimens and their smell and how I cannot wait to be done with anatomy lab. Then, he bought me chocolate.

 

[redsteven]

I'm looking forward to summer break to decompress, work with real, living animals, and spend time at home. I think after that I'll be ready to hit 2nd year. Maybe you will too 🙂

You don't get a real summer break at Ross : \

You get two weeks off and then the summer semester starts (they do 3 full semester per year)

Time off may do her good though.

 

[1CellNtheSea]

Then, he bought me chocolate.

Great boyfriend! 👍 Mine is in my class with me and he leaves me ice cream in the lounge freezer! *sigh* 😍 Ice cream is a huge weakness for me! Always makes even the worst vet school days better!

 

[VeganChick]

The problem is, I feel so guilty about this. I feel like my family, my friends, and I have put so much time, effort, and money into this, and I'm just flushing it down the crapper. I think that, at the moment, this is the right decision for me, but I feel like I'm being selfish.

Guilt is the last thing you should be feeling. It takes a lot of courage and strength to admit you have made a mistake and if taking a break - and maybe changing direction - is something to be proud of.

And whether you decide to return to school or change direction, you won't have to wonder or have regrets about your decision.

 

[flyhi]

Zpink-

Good for you for listening to your inner self and not ignoring what is going on. Everyone here has had great comments and I just wanted to add that taking a break sounds like the best thing you could do right now. Ross's accelerated program is great for some, but certainly does not allow for much time to decompress between terms. You may find that a break will allow you not only the time to reflect and decide that you DO want to be a vet and continue, but that you need that longer break to get re-energized and be able to give your studies 100%. Obviously, it may also give you the time to really sit down and reflect without the distraction of your studies, and realize vet med is not for you.

You seem like you really have your head screwed on straight and I'm sure you will be successful at whatever path you choose.

Best of Luck to you and hang in there.

 

[zpinkpanther]

what would u choose for a career if u werent a vet?

Right now I'm thinking I'll look into some other careers and get a job (or a few part-time jobs) and see if I find anything I like better. A few things I have in mind are possibly pharmacology, a grad program in chemistry or French (which was my major in college), or maybe even law school. I think that part of my problem is that I never really allowed myself to consider other careers as an option and I feel like if I don't at least check out some other things that I've been thinking of, I'll regret it later on, whether or not I decide to continue with vet school.

Thanks so much again for your support, everyone. I'm really grateful to have such a great community that I can turn to for advice and encouragement. 🙂 I have a meeting tomorrow with one of my professors here (the school has a counselor, but I don't like her much, so I don't feel comfortable talking to her about this), just to kinda get another perspective on the situation. I don't want to make any rash decisions until I've stepped back from it, but I think a semester off would really help with that.

Oh, and to those who asked about my transferring- I haven't heard back yet about it. I've checked it out briefly and I think it won't affect my chances for most of the schools I applied to, but I'm going to call them all when I get home just to make sure. I don't know if transferring would help, since at this point I'm not sure if it's just that I don't want to go to school here, or if I don't want to do vet school anymore period. Hopefully I'll figure it out soon. I hate feeling so lost and without direction.

Thanks again for all of your comments! You guys are awesome. 🙂

 

[VeganChick]

I feel like if I don't at least check out some other things that I've been thinking of, I'll regret it later on, whether or not I decide to continue with vet school

You are a smart and brave girl - I think I can speak of all of us here that we admire how you are handling this and support you 100% no matter you decide.

 

[meadow36]

All I have to say is that once you take a break and leave it will be EXTREMELY hard to go back, so make sure that is REALLY what you want.

My thoughts are you only have one more year at Ross then it's back to the states. IMHO, I think you should finish out your time at Ross and if you want to take a break before clinicals in the states, then do it then. If you leave Ross now you will probably never go back. But, if you break after Ross and decide you want to stick with it, you will have an easier time b/c you know you won't have to go back to the island, just to your clinicals, which will be in the states and a lot of fun.

Just my 2 cents.

 

[VeganChick]

A few years ago, I was in an MBA program at a highly regarded school that was entirely paid for by the company I was working for at the time. I hated it. Halfway through the first semester, I realized I couldn't do this or any career related to this degree for the rest of my life. All I wanted was to be a vet but I was so intimidated by the pre-reqs. When I decided to quit, everyone thought I was crazy - even I wondered if I was squandering a great opportunity. But I knew. When I signed up for a Bio 101 class the next semester, everyone again thought I was nuts. But again, I knew.

I agree with meadow36 that it will be extremely difficult to go back once you have left. I think you need to consider that. But I mostly think you should consider what you - and you alone - feel way down in your gut what is right for you.

 

[lazyjayn]

Alternately, we could just trade lives. It's blizzarding here.

 

[flyhi]

All I have to say is that once you take a break and leave it will be EXTREMELY hard to go back, so make sure that is REALLY what you want.

My thoughts are you only have one more year at Ross then it's back to the states. IMHO, I think you should finish out your time at Ross and if you want to take a break before clinicals in the states, then do it then. If you leave Ross now you will probably never go back. But, if you break after Ross and decide you want to stick with it, you will have an easier time b/c you know you won't have to go back to the island, just to your clinicals, which will be in the states and a lot of fun.

Just my 2 cents.

Meadow,

I was reading along thinking, 'yeah, that's a great idea...she's right'. Until.....I remembered, oh, that's going to be $$$$. I would think that is a huge consideration at this point.

I do agree that it theoretically makes sense to do it how you suggested, just may not be practical at this point. If she takes a semester off and realizes this IS what she wants, she will go back refreshed and certain. If she decides it's not for her, at least she cut her losses earlier rather than later.

 

[Caninerepro]

Pink Panther -- sorry I just LOVE that moniker!
Listen, I as much as anyone else am not in YOUR shoes. But, I have to ask you, is it Vet Med, or living on St Kitts for another 18 months that is deterring you from following through with your education? I know it sucks -- I myself was looking, and expecting, hard at Ross. I come from the school where most of your anatomy professors (or their formers) got their DVMs and PhDs/ taught. My question is, why are you doubting now your quest to become a Veterinarian?

If it is because you are currently at Ross, please allow me to give you a little outside/beyond Ross perspective. The father of one of my best friends, a member of the first graduating class at Ross, is now the president of the NY State Equine Vet Ast. The emergency vet I observed under, who now makes almost $150,000.00 a year, is a graduate of Ross as well. So, as we all know, the clients will not have a clue where we have come from, it is what you do with what you know that matters. Trust me, I am all about pedigrees -- my father has a Doctorate in Physical Chemistry from Cal Tech. My Uncle, who in all reality was my "other father" did his residency after med school (he turned down Johns Hopkins for med school) at the Menninger Foundation for Psychiatry. But in the end, all that matters is your DVM, which I am sure you can attain.

We all know that going to Ross sucks, but we also secretly know that contrary to the other opinions, they actually turn out awesome real world practitioners! Probably better equip practitioners than the continental US schools do because y'all see so many unique cases that we never will! I am not about to tell you what to do, but seriously, if you have any doubts, hang in there, or transfer to another US school.

Kai

 

[david594]

Probably better equip practitioners than the continental US schools do because y'all see so many unique cases that we never will!

See so many unique cases? They all come back to the US for their clinical years. How many cases(never mind unique cases) do they even see on the island? There is no teaching hospital there.

If they really better equipped practitioners then everyone would be clambering to go there instead of places like CSU.

Yeah, Ross graduates plenty of good vets. But I am sick of the cheer leading that somehow the carribean schools have developed a far superior program to teaching veterinary medicine than US schools.

 

[meadow36]

Meadow,

I was reading along thinking, 'yeah, that's a great idea...she's right'. Until.....I remembered, oh, that's going to be $$$$. I would think that is a huge consideration at this point.

I do agree that it theoretically makes sense to do it how you suggested, just may not be practical at this point. If she takes a semester off and realizes this IS what she wants, she will go back refreshed and certain. If she decides it's not for her, at least she cut her losses earlier rather than later.

Yeah, it may or may not be a consideration; but from previous threads I know Pink Panther has expressed issues with living on the island; so it's safe to say that if she leaves it will be EXTREMELY difficult for her to go back. My guess is she won't. Just my opinion, but I think she should finish out her time there first, and if she needs a little break before clinicals, then so be it. I would hate for her to look back and be filled with regret for stopping 10 years from now, just because she didn't want to hack it on the island for another year. This way she'll know for sure that the island wasn't an issue and she changed careers truly because she wanted to.

One year is such a short, short period of time, but to a 23 year old I'm sure it looks like an eternity!! I know when I was in my early 20's I shied away from things that I thought would take forever (1 year or 2 years) but looking back now from my 30's I realize what a stupid idea that was for me to have.

My advice is - don't make a hasty decision. If money is not an issue then stay; try to grow and get something out of it; and break before clinicals if you are really sure that's what you want to do.

 

[zpinkpanther]

Yeah, it may or may not be a consideration; but from previous threads I know Pink Panther has expressed issues with living on the island; so it's safe to say that if she leaves it will be EXTREMELY difficult for her to go back. My guess is she won't. Just my opinion, but I think she should finish out her time there first, and if she needs a little break before clinicals, then so be it. I would hate for her to look back and be filled with regret for stopping 10 years from now, just because she didn't want to hack it on the island for another year. This way she'll know for sure that the island wasn't an issue and she changed careers truly because she wanted to.

One year is such a short, short period of time, but to a 23 year old I'm sure it looks like an eternity!! I know when I was in my early 20's I shied away from things that I thought would take forever (1 year or 2 years) but looking back now from my 30's I realize what a stupid idea that was for me to have.

My advice is - don't make a hasty decision. If money is not an issue then stay; try to grow and get something out of it; and break before clinicals if you are really sure that's what you want to do.

I really appreciate your concern, and I can see your point. Even the decision to take a little time off and decide if I want to come back was very difficult, and it's something I've been thinking about for a couple months.

The thing is, as much as I don't like the island, even moreso I LOVE the people I've met here and a lot of my professors, too. I promise you that if I decide that this is truly what I want to do, I will come back in September. Yes, it'll be a pain in the ass, because I'll have to haul everything back down and open a bank account and find another apartment, etc, but if this is really what I want, nothing will stop me from doing it.

Oh, and just a slight correction- I have almost 2 years left here (1 + 2/3 years). I know that 2 years is still not a lot, but money is part of the issue- I don't want to be close to 200 grand in debt for something I'm not even going to do. And I think I'd be close to that even if I stopped before clinicals.

You're absolutely right, this could be the biggest mistake of my life. I'm hoping it's not, though... 😳 But I'd feel even worse looking back on my life 15 years from now and regretting that I never explored other options. I know that career changes are totally possible at an older age (I've talked to even non-trads on here), but I feel that it's better to make sure I'm doing the right thing now.

Anyway, thanks again for the advice. I'll keep you guys posted!

 

[Caninerepro]

To David and all,
Listen, I know that living on St. Kitts sucks, I do not question that. I myself am ever so grateful that a couple US schools messed up and invited me to come play with them next year. I really was not looking forward to giving everything up (my dogs) and going there myself -- I worked my butt off to avoid it trust me! David you just had to throw in that CSU jab didn't you!!! 🙁 You know I am just finishing up a Masters here and REALLY wanted to stay in Ft. Collins, which has become home over the last few years.

My only question was if the OP was having doubts about St. Kitts, or vet med in general. It sounds like it is actually the latter, and so it is probably in her best interest to take a step back and reevaluate. I think everyone on these boards knows all too well just how hard what we are doing is, and what it can take out of you during the process. Hey, I myself dropped out half-way through my BS and it took me 10 years to get everything back in line so that I could try again. In the end, spending 3 years back at school 1300 miles from my wife ended my marriage, and my career, where I was making more than I ever will as a vet. But I am glad I did go back (OK I guess I am at this point -- 4 more years of intense school, damn). 😱 However when I left the first time, I was simply done. There was no way I was going to come back and I had had enough. So I understand the doubts running through panthers head. Give her a lot of credit for thinking hard about this, and also for asking for help in the decision! We will look forward to seeing you on the flip side, when you come back reengaged and once again sure of WHY you are doing this, or not doing it. Cheers to you for having the guts to step back and reevaluate. 👍

 

[nyanko]

To David and all,
David you just had to throw in that CSU jab didn't you!!! 🙁 You know I am just finishing up a Masters here and REALLY wanted to stay in Ft. Collins, which has become home over the last few years.

He was probably just intimidated by your CSU vet med bumper sticker and didn't know how to react. It is blinding, you know..

 

[VeganChick]

Listen, I know that living on St. Kitts sucks, I do not question that. I myself am ever so grateful that a couple US schools messed up and invited me to come play with them next year.

Unfortunately, none of those US schools messed up in my case so I am going to St. Kitts. Personally, I think it is going to be an exciting new experience. But I am curious as to how you know that living there sucks?

 

[bunnity]

zpink, if you haven't already made a decision, I think it could help you to go back and read some of your posts from when you were applying. It might help remind you of how much (and why) you wanted this, and could help you evaluate how much of this is a change of heart and how much is burnout.

 

[Caninerepro]

He was probably just intimidated by your CSU vet med bumper sticker and didn't know how to react. It is blinding, you know..

Yeah well I scraped that bad boy off and put my MN vet med sticker in its place. 😛 Seriously, I was shocked how may times I would be observing at a clinic and another vet would come in from the parking lot wondering who the CSU vet was. They would act all awed and whatever until someone else would say -- "oh that's just Kai". I mean yeah Colorado is the most awesome state in the union, but I did not put it there to intimidate people. It was just (misguided) wishful thinking. 🙁

As for my secondhand info about Ross, that is what I have been told, not personal experience. Pink could probably tell you far more than I have heard, it just does not sound like a very safe place from what I have heard. I would have happily dealt, trust me! I have given up too much already to worry about living in the seedy side of town for a few years. Besides as a 30+ former NHL player, I would probably not be anyone's first, nor wisest choice to pick on. Even though if they did I'd probably just cut my losses and give them the $20.00 I had in my pocket. I may be ugly, but I am not that stupid.

 

[nyanko]

Besides as a 30+ former NHL player, I would probably not be anyone's first, nor wisest choice to pick on. Even though if they did I'd probably just cut my losses and give them the $20.00 I had in my pocket. I may be ugly, but I am not that stupid.

Who'd ya play for? I was a (womens) division I forward for a couple of years...my poor grades are still trying to recover. 🙄

also hockey sucks here in CA. Nobody knows how to sharpen skates and I had to buy surfboard wax to wax my stick.

 

[redsteven]

Damn Somali pirates 😉. Always hijacking threads.

Unfortunately, none of those US schools messed up in my case so I am going to St. Kitts. Personally, I think it is going to be an exciting new experience.

I agree.

Though i would've gone to a US school if I got in, I also think it'll be a wonderful experience.

This is probably the only time I'm going to have the opportunity to live in another country for a couple of years. It's one of those valuable life experiences.

And the diving should be a great way to unwind.

 

[nyanko]

Hockey probably sucks in St. Kitts too. OP if I were you, I'd leave and go somewhere you could play hockey, it might help you let out some of your stress and unwind. 😛

(no really, all the best, zpink, hopefully you get it figured out...sorry for the derail - hey, at least it wasn't a flamewar one this time!)

 

[flyhi]

Hockey probably sucks in St. Kitts too. OP if I were you, I'd leave and go somewhere you could play hockey, it might help you let out some of your stress and unwind😛

C'mon, that's what rollerblades are for 😀

 

[twelvetigers]

No, that's what sitting on the couch and watching a riveting independent film is for!

Seriously, I hope I never have to run from a bull. Probably die trying. 🙄

 

[Jeterfan1]

hi pinkpanther!
I should have replied to this post earlier but i was dealing with all the insanity that we just went through.
I get it... and i think it's a good idea to get off the rock for a semester to re-evaluate. It's tough enough there without doubts! Only you know what's best though.
I rememer all the excitment and anticipation that we both had, but once you're down there and in the thick of it, it's a whole different deal....painful, truly, at times and very expensive especially if you're not 100% sure.
I wish you the very best!!

 

[Caninerepro]

Who'd ya play for? I was a (womens) division I forward for a couple of years...my poor grades are still trying to recover. 🙄

also hockey sucks here in CA. Nobody knows how to sharpen skates and I had to buy surfboard wax to wax my stick.

I played for Edmonton and Chicago -- defenseman. I was mainly a WHL guy to be honest (Kamloops, Moosejaw). I wonder if that is why I got into the northern US Vet schools (MN, WI, Cornell). 🙄 A third year here at CSU is the coach for the club team on campus and I think I see a pattern... 🙂

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