- Joined
- Jan 20, 2014
- Messages
- 237
- Reaction score
- 69
So, I rewrote this thing like 10 times...and I've never liked it once..lol but either way.. is it ok in one part where I mention that I shadowed, but because of the context of the bigger picture of the statement I didn't put any details on it. Is this ok? basically just highlighting how unmotivated I was, and this was the turnaround..managing my resources and planning my journey while also planning for my students' success. (i teach at a center)
This was the paragraph which had it:
Meanwhile, I found a brand new focus in my life goal of becoming a most skilled dentist from having shadowed a prosthodontist the year before. I researched the necessary qualifications and steps to getting accepted into dental school and officially began my journey. I formed a study plan for the DAT’s and scheduled a part of the summer to shadowing a general dentist, while making sure the students I had come to appreciate and love would not go down the path of mediocrity I was initially satisfied with.
This was the paragraph which had it:
Meanwhile, I found a brand new focus in my life goal of becoming a most skilled dentist from having shadowed a prosthodontist the year before. I researched the necessary qualifications and steps to getting accepted into dental school and officially began my journey. I formed a study plan for the DAT’s and scheduled a part of the summer to shadowing a general dentist, while making sure the students I had come to appreciate and love would not go down the path of mediocrity I was initially satisfied with.