Question about pregnancy?

[pmpharmtech]

---

Members do not see this ad.

Okay, so I have a friend who is almost 8 months pregnant. It was an unexpected pregnancy and for the first month that she was pregnant (a time which she was unaware) she was socially drinking a couple times a week when she went out with friends. Once she found out she quite drinking completely and has taken good care of herself, going to her visits, taking prenatals, etc. She is seeing an ob/gyn and has wanted to ask if she could have potentially done some harm to the child but I think she is scared and embarrased to do so. 😳 She has also had many ultrasounds, the regular and 3-D ones and has been told that the baby is growing and progressing well. Would they know about any potentially abnormalities based upon ultrasounds? Also, would that first month be more, less, or just as critical than other months? She's fairly worried about this so I figured this would be a good avenue to get a generalized response. Thank you. 🙂

 

[DRMICKEY]

People can correct me if I'm wrong...but I believe there is no real harm done during the first two weeks until the maternal-fetal circulation is established. So it depends what she means by the first month. If it really means a month since her last period, then probably no harm could have been done. But if it's a month since implantation, then it is possible that some damage could have occurred. The first 8 weeks or so are critical for the developing organs so I would think this is a very important time. Ultrasounds could identify many possible abnormalities, but there's no guarantee. At this late stage of her pregnancy, the best bet is probably to just be as optimistic as possible since nothing can be done at thie point.

Good luck!

 

[daravan]

If it makes you feel any better, I have a friend who didn't know she was pregnant until she was in her fifth month (rare, but possible) and was drinking, smoking, and partying that entire time. Her daughter is 6 years old now and hasn't had a single developmental problem. Your friend and her baby are in my prayers. =D

 

[Polli]

Hi........sorry to go off on another avenue but I really need some advice

I always found internal exams and breast exams extremely distressing. Internal exams always make me feel exposed and invaded. I've always had women do it and have always strenuously avoided having a male do it. Now I know that OB professionals have seen it all before and mine is no different. And I acknowledge that the doctors are professional and I don't think at all that male OB's are perverts. But truth is is that the prospect of being exposed and invaded by a strange male is truly horrifying to me. I can manage if its a strange woman....just.

I had to have a lump removed when I was 23 and I'd managed to get all my exams leading up to the surgery done by women. The day of my surgery they told me that it they wanted me to have another ultrasound. Naturally I asked if the technician would be female. They said no - I freaked out so badly that they gave me two happy pills, flagged the ultrasound and sent me straight into surgery. Thats how bad it is - and that's only over boobs!

My problem is...I am 4 months pregnant with our first baby and I'm classified high risk because of my size and age (39). I live in an area where there are no female OB's and the likelyhood that I will have to have a male attending the birth of my child is very real. So is the likelihood that I will have do undergo an exam or two beforehand. I'll do what I have to do to bring our baby into the world safely but this has me in tears regularly and I know I have to get past it somehow and you would think a woman my age could cope but I can't. We're looking into hynosis as a method of coping and I'm praying that will work. There is no reason for my mindset here and I cannot explain why its so distressing to me.......it just is. All I can think is that its probably social conditioning with a dash of my own personal neurotica but what I want to know is...........do other women feel this way and how do they get past it when they have to.

 

[burlypie]

This might be better in another, separate post, but since you've established that males are professionals etc., have you thought of talking to a psychologist or clinical psychiatrist? are you in a position to do that? because I think if something has such an impact on your life it might be worth sorting out.

Hi........sorry to go off on another avenue but I really need some advice

I always found internal exams and breast exams extremely distressing. Internal exams always make me feel exposed and invaded. I've always had women do it and have always strenuously avoided having a male do it. Now I know that OB professionals have seen it all before and mine is no different. And I acknowledge that the doctors are professional and I don't think at all that male OB's are perverts. But truth is is that the prospect of being exposed and invaded by a strange male is truly horrifying to me. I can manage if its a strange woman....just.

I had to have a lump removed when I was 23 and I'd managed to get all my exams leading up to the surgery done by women. The day of my surgery they told me that it they wanted me to have another ultrasound. Naturally I asked if the technician would be female. They said no - I freaked out so badly that they gave me two happy pills, flagged the ultrasound and sent me straight into surgery. Thats how bad it is - and that's only over boobs!

My problem is...I am 4 months pregnant with our first baby and I'm classified high risk because of my size and age (39). I live in an area where there are no female OB's and the likelyhood that I will have to have a male attending the birth of my child is very real. So is the likelihood that I will have do undergo an exam or two beforehand. I'll do what I have to do to bring our baby into the world safely but this has me in tears regularly and I know I have to get past it somehow and you would think a woman my age could cope but I can't. We're looking into hynosis as a method of coping and I'm praying that will work. There is no reason for my mindset here and I cannot explain why its so distressing to me.......it just is. All I can think is that its probably social conditioning with a dash of my own personal neurotica but what I want to know is...........do other women feel this way and how do they get past it when they have to.

 

[tiredmom]

I agree with above post - I think a psych could help you, not only with the underlying issues but to provide you strategies for coping in a stressful situation.
Are you currently receiving prenatal care? Do you live in a rural area where the providers are fairly limited? Would you have a similar problem if a male provider performed a cesarean section on you, if it didn't involve a vaginal exam? Not that that would be justification for a c/s, but that could open the option of a female nurse midwife managing your labor, with a male ob/gyn available for a c/s if needed.
Good luck to you.

 

[Pinki]

Sorry about your dilemna - I only see female practitioners and can understand the comfort level you seek. A few words...

You will likely have more than 1 or 2 exams before hand - count on 1 every month until 28 weeks, then one every 2 weeks until 36 weeks and then 1 every week until delivery. As far as "down there" procedures, prenatally, there aren't too many so maybe you can work up your courage: You'll have one pap, provided your cervix is healthy. You'll also have a GBS screen done at 35-37 weeks - Q tip quickly swabbed in your outer vagina, perineum, rectum. Then you'll have a couple of cervical checks as you near the end to see how your cervix is dialating, effacing, station, etc. These are pretty invasive as well, however, brief.

I think once you're in labor, and I mean REALLY in labor, you won't care who the heck is in the delivery room, you'll be so focused on working through the pain. With my first baby, I looked up as I was pushing and for a split second realized that there were no less than 8 nurses and nursing students in the room, plus the OB and my hubby. While giving birth, your modesty diminishes incredibly: I could have walked down Main St. naked without a second thought.

I'm not sure where you live, but I did a rural OB rotation in a town where women would drive up to 45 minutes to see this particular female attending. Another substantial subset of women would leave town altogether and drive to the bigger city nearby ( 2 hours away) for prenatal and delivery care, because they wanted to be safe and deliver at a higher level accuity NICU. You might want to explore options around your town.

And you should seek prenatal care soon! 4 months is considered "late" in many circles!

Hope that helps!

Hi........sorry to go off on another avenue but I really need some advice

I always found internal exams and breast exams extremely distressing. Internal exams always make me feel exposed and invaded. I've always had women do it and have always strenuously avoided having a male do it. Now I know that OB professionals have seen it all before and mine is no different. And I acknowledge that the doctors are professional and I don't think at all that male OB's are perverts. But truth is is that the prospect of being exposed and invaded by a strange male is truly horrifying to me. I can manage if its a strange woman....just.

I had to have a lump removed when I was 23 and I'd managed to get all my exams leading up to the surgery done by women. The day of my surgery they told me that it they wanted me to have another ultrasound. Naturally I asked if the technician would be female. They said no - I freaked out so badly that they gave me two happy pills, flagged the ultrasound and sent me straight into surgery. Thats how bad it is - and that's only over boobs!

My problem is...I am 4 months pregnant with our first baby and I'm classified high risk because of my size and age (39). I live in an area where there are no female OB's and the likelyhood that I will have to have a male attending the birth of my child is very real. So is the likelihood that I will have do undergo an exam or two beforehand. I'll do what I have to do to bring our baby into the world safely but this has me in tears regularly and I know I have to get past it somehow and you would think a woman my age could cope but I can't. We're looking into hynosis as a method of coping and I'm praying that will work. There is no reason for my mindset here and I cannot explain why its so distressing to me.......it just is. All I can think is that its probably social conditioning with a dash of my own personal neurotica but what I want to know is...........do other women feel this way and how do they get past it when they have to.

 

[dnw826]

To the OP:

My friend refused to quit smoking throughout her pregnancy and her brand new infant is fine. On the other hand, my mom smoked and drank (among other things, I'm sure) with me and I am just a walking medical problem. I have had many many problems due to it. I am assuming that her behavior was a leading cause because I am the only one in the family like this. My younger brothers have some slight problems, and she smoked heavily with them, too. And then I know of people who did meth and such during pregnancy and it is hard to tell if their developmental delays in speech and intelligence as well as other problems are due to their in utero experience, or their environment growing up.

In other words, I think that it's important for her to be honest with her doc so that they can be better prepared in the case that something does go wrong. That way they are better equipped to handle it. It is also important to recognize that if you might get pregnant, it'd be better to avoid those behaviors. But since she's well past that, it would be in her and the baby's interest to just be honest. She's not the first one.

 

[Polli]

I don't feel that I'm crazy because I can't handle strange men with their hands inside me (the number of people that have asked me if I've ever been raped....) but Tiredmom - you're right about a psych maybe being able to provide me with strategies for coping in a stressful situation. Thankyou very much - I appreciate your thoughts.

I am under the care of a midwife now (who is very good with an amazing reputation) and I live in rural NZ. I'm afraid its 45 minutes to the nearest town and there is no choice concerning female OB's unless I want to go to one of the major cities (a least 3-4 hours away). My income won't allow for that, I'm afraid but its certainly something I would consider if I could. Interestingly enough I wouldn't have a problem with a c-section done by a male OB (without the vaginal exam of course) so I am going for the female midwife option and hoping to the high heavens that I don't get into trouble.

Pinki - thankyou so much for your advice and insights (and things to 'gear up' for). My Mother has mentioned the same about not being aware or giving a whole hoot about who's there when you're actually in the thick of labor. I wasn't sure whether or not to believe her. I love my Mother but she has no understanding of my dilemma at all being a 'terribly practical old school' kind of lady. I have to say that whole thing of finding other people watching like that is probably the number two horror. But I've since had a little tour of the delivery suite and it seems that the staff are very respectful of your privacy so thats apparently not likely to happen. Not likely. hmm. Plus someone told me that I needed to re-focus on what IS rather than what could be (while suggesting that my hormones were making things difficult to cope which is very true of course). So my angst doesn't feel quite so desperate or crazed now and I'm lucky enough to have a very supportive Husband. So we shall cross our bridges as we come to them, I think, and hope for the best.

I think once you're in labor, and I mean REALLY in labor, you won't care who the heck is in the delivery room, you'll be so focused on working through the pain. With my first baby, I looked up as I was pushing and for a split second realized that there were no less than 8 nurses and nursing students in the room, plus the OB and my hubby. While giving birth, your modesty diminishes incredibly: I could have walked down Main St. naked without a second thought.

 

[Diane L. Evans]

I think if you explained your situation to the maternal fetal medicine doctor they would understand and work with your midwife.

Considering age I would suggest a triple marker screen and if abnormal an amniocentesis to reassure about genetic defects that arise more commonly after age 35. Some because of the high frequency of false positives with the blood test (triple screen) elect to do the amniocentesis first.

An amniocentesis involves a doctor placing a needle though the uterus to draw fluid from around the baby. The test is not very painful can be associated with a low risk of fetal loss but this happens rarely 1/250-300 times. The risks of all malformations in your age is 1/70-80.

THUS, I would strongly consider this test in addition to genetic counseling and a comprehsive ultrasound all of these only a doctor can do/interpret. I feel that most male OB's are understanding of this problem and some even have female RN's that work with them.

 

[snowinter]

An amniocentesis involves a doctor placing a needle though the uterus to draw fluid from around the baby. The test is not very painful can be associated with a low risk of fetal loss but this happens rarely 1/250-300 times. The risks of all malformations in your age is 1/70-80.

THUS, I would strongly consider this test in addition to genetic counseling and a comprehsive ultrasound all of these only a doctor can do/interpret. I feel that most male OB's are understanding of this problem and some even have female RN's that work with them.[/QUOTE]

Diane,

I know the recomendations you gave are standard. but, I just want to know *why?* if there is nothing to be done for a fetal malformation -- why do such an invasive procedure which could potentially lead to fetal loss? it makes no sense to me. besides counseling, can anything else be done with the findings of amnio? and could counseling not be done regardless? to include *possiblity* and how to cope?

just thinking out loud... not saying i have anything against amniocentesis -- just wanted to know if you could explain .... the *why* to an upcoming intern.

thanks,
snow

 

[66Lenses]

Your friend has every right to be worried, all moms-to-be worry over something if not everything.

Based on what you've stated, her U/S are normal, the baby is progressing normally, etc. she's nothing to worry about. Many, many people don't know they are pregnant and do the same or worse, some continue harmful habits thoroughout the pregnancy.

If the doctor hasn't found anything wrong and everything is checking out she should be fine. Most times nothing comes of a few drinks prior to knowing anyway. Besides, it's a cultural thing. In Europe they do not have the stringent resitrictions on alcohol and those babies are healthy as ever.

I am worried that she's not comfortable bringing something so common up with her doctor or a nurse. What's she going to do if it's something serious? Not ask?

 

[ceg]

I think this is an old thread but I wanted to add my own two cents. It depends on your practitioner's standard practice, but there is really no reason to have any exams. I have never heard of someone having monthly exams early in pregnancy, maybe if you are at risk for pre-term labor, but I think serial ultrasounds are better for measuring cervical shortening.

Having your cervix checked towards the end of your preg really won't tell you anything. It isn't a good indicator of when you will go into labor. The GBBS swab you can do yourself, there is no need for a doc/mw to do it for you.

As for exams in labor, you may want to have one to verify you are 10 cm before you push as if you have a premature urge it is believed it could result in cervical swelling/tearing. Aside from that there is really no reason for anyone to be messing around down there.

I would agree that you won't care who looks down there when you are in the throes of labor, but it is very painful to lay on your back and have an exam when having contractions.

If you are seeing a MW now she will probably want to stay away from too much interference. Can you continue seeing her? Sounds like she is what you are looking for. She can always refer you to a doc later if your high risk status results in complications.
GL with your preg!

Sorry about your dilemna - I only see female practitioners and can understand the comfort level you seek. A few words...

You will likely have more than 1 or 2 exams before hand - count on 1 every month until 28 weeks, then one every 2 weeks until 36 weeks and then 1 every week until delivery. As far as "down there" procedures, prenatally, there aren't too many so maybe you can work up your courage: You'll have one pap, provided your cervix is healthy. You'll also have a GBS screen done at 35-37 weeks - Q tip quickly swabbed in your outer vagina, perineum, rectum. Then you'll have a couple of cervical checks as you near the end to see how your cervix is dialating, effacing, station, etc. These are pretty invasive as well, however, brief.

I think once you're in labor, and I mean REALLY in labor, you won't care who the heck is in the delivery room, you'll be so focused on working through the pain. With my first baby, I looked up as I was pushing and for a split second realized that there were no less than 8 nurses and nursing students in the room, plus the OB and my hubby. While giving birth, your modesty diminishes incredibly: I could have walked down Main St. naked without a second thought.

I'm not sure where you live, but I did a rural OB rotation in a town where women would drive up to 45 minutes to see this particular female attending. Another substantial subset of women would leave town altogether and drive to the bigger city nearby ( 2 hours away) for prenatal and delivery care, because they wanted to be safe and deliver at a higher level accuity NICU. You might want to explore options around your town.

And you should seek prenatal care soon! 4 months is considered "late" in many circles!

Hope that helps!