Question for Married/ live with SO med students

[Seagal]

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I am a married entering med student in the fall. My husband works full-time (more like 60-65+ hrs, since he works at home also, once he comes back). I am trying to work out basic logistics of homekeeping (cooking, shopping, cleaning, etc...). Any suggestions?

I love the thread on Saving Money while you are in Med school. It has great ideas on crockpot cooking, etc. I was thinking of 'dinner's ready' where you spend about 3 hours and 'make' 6 meals and put it in the freezer. But it is expensive. Anyhow, I would love to hear how other students have handled or planning to handle it. 🙂

 

[LuckyBambooGirl]

I am a married entering med student in the fall. My husband works full-time (more like 60-65+ hrs, since he works at home also, once he comes back). I am trying to work out basic logistics of homekeeping (cooking, shopping, cleaning, etc...). Any suggestions?

I love the thread on Saving Money while you are in Med school. It has great ideas on crockpot cooking, etc. I was thinking of 'dinner's ready' where you spend about 3 hours and 'make' 6 meals and put it in the freezer. But it is expensive. Anyhow, I would love to hear how other students have handled or planning to handle it. 🙂

I am married and just finished my first year of med school. My husband doesn't work as much as yours, but he still doesn't clean very much. He takes care of all the outside chores. He will cook if I ask him to, and he doesn't complain about it, but I know that he doesn't like to. I'd rather cook anyway, because he doesn't really make complete meals, just heats up some chicken and calls it dinner ;-) During school, I tend to cook very simple and quick meals, like spaghetti, or baked chicken and potatoes and a vegetable. I use the crock pot sometimes but I don't really like getting up early to put the food in it in the morning. My house is a lot messier than it was before med school. I just try not to let it bother me, because I know I have to focus on school right now. I figure that if the mess bothers him, he can clean! During test week we tend to order pizza a lot, or I get him to cook.

 

[el_chavo]

My wife works full time as a nurse. That means only three days a week but they're long days. I cook dinner on the days she works and she cooks on the days I'm at school. When we're home together on the weekends, we cook together or go out on the cheap. It's great to have a paycheck coming in. We take turns doing laundry and cleaning the house. It's worked out great so far.

 

[mshheaddoc]

You can always spend the time together running errands on the weekend. Try to study as much as you can during the week and then block out time on the weekends.

Its a hassle sometime with the mess and chores. They NEVER get done but its a sacrafice. We make sure we're fed, the animals are fed, and the house is semi-presentable. We're getting there though. Schedules are your friends (but not for everyone)

 

[Seagal]

thanks guys. =)

Keep it coming.

 

[Bubchik]

thanks guys. =)

Keep it coming.

My hubby is a resident and I just finished my first year in med school. I loved to cook fancy dinners before, now I hardly have enough time to do shopping.

I try to be organized: make a list during the week and go shopping on the weekend. I also try to buy food in bulk, like at Costco. I like to buy semi-cooked meals at Trader Joe's, they tend to be better than in other markets.

I tried food delivery (vons.com), but I like to see/smell/touch/chose what I buy.

I have a huge stack od take-out menus, getting sick and tired of Thai food by now, time to switch to something else...

Cleaning is a different story: I try to do a little each day, it works for me.

 

[ADDchild]

My wife is a lawyer and works full time, we also have a 6yr old and a 2yr old. Over the past 10 years that we've been happily married we have settled into our roles as far as household chores. I cook/most cleaning(cept laundry) bathe the children etc... These are things I enjoy. We've seperated the task into equal loads and that has not changed much since my first 2yrs in med school. Make sure you set up a list and divide equally. Your time commitment is equal to your spouse's except for exam time. You should probably get out around 2-3 pm daily(after the first wave of intimidation is over) . Spend the time till your spouse gets home studying, then do chores together, then spend time together, worse thing to do is to try and do your chores right when you get home and then study when your spouse gets home. You'll have time to spend together(just don't have kids even though I love mine(had them b4 med school wouldn't change a thing for me but would suggest not doing it))

Definately limit your extra academic activities except for maybe student goverment-doesn't take that much time and looks good--I was in stud gov my first year,not my second, interest groups my 3rd. Your class gov is the least time commitment, things like amsa-etc... more than your ready to take on, leave it for single students. If your brilliant and will honormost clases(probably don't need to worry about time, but anyways) you probably dont need to do anything, grades are worth a thousand words.

Limit you houshold and family commitments- if you live near your family then can be helpfull(get them to do some chores for you, but whatch out for their requirements for attention)-- limit b-day parties, etc... for all but the most important family(can't help siblings parents)


Good Luck

wish this thing had spell check my keys keepsticking

 

[maharishi3383]

Meals that are good to cook and freeze yet still cost under three dollars a plate.

Chicken Pot Pie
Hamburger Pie
Lasagna
Enchiladas
Butternut Squash Soup
Beef and Vegi Soup
Spegetti
Chilli
Sloppy Joes
Split Pea Soup

I'm not married, I'm just lazy and like to have my meals ready when I get home. I'm also cheap. I'll buy a huge package of meat of one type becuase it's cheaper and makes several meals to freeze.

 

[psipsina]

My husband and I lived together during my undergrad too and we split our chores pretty evenly. We both have things we absolutely hate doing ( me = toilet, him = folding laundry) so we first divied these accordingly, then split up the ones we are both ambivalent about. Being the organized one, I made a weekly schedule that makes sure that everything gets done once a week but splits up the household chores into reasonable chunks . . . i.e. hubby has to sweep the kitchen and empty garbages one day, not too much but if we each do something each day it goes a long way. Then on each of our days off the load increases a little with a few more tasks. On bad days, i.e. my exams or him working a double during mardi gras, or when someone gets sick, the other picks up their chores for the day. As far as cooking, we are both good cooks, but he really enjoys prep-cook type tasks, which I take a really really long time to do comparable since I was never trained as a sous chef, and I like the creativity of mixing everything together. So he gets home from work and preps the pre-aranged meal, and I get home and put it all together, then we clean up together . . . once again if one of us is really busy, the other takes over everything. Its really flexible, but has a basic structure that keeps everything from going to s#$%.

 

[evade]

My SO and I live together. He is a law student, and I am a med student. . .as such, we're both ridiculously busy. Our home life is very much 'go with the flow.' Whoever is home first and so inclined makes dinner. When we cook, we often cook enough for 2-3 meals, so there are always leftovers on those days when we're both home late or when we're feeling lazy. When finals are coming, we stockpile the freezer. Fortunately, his finals and mine rarely overlap, so I take care of everything when he's taking exams, and he takes care of me when I'm taking mine.

As far as cleaning goes, we've kinda divvied up the chores like psipsina and her husband have. We don't always vaccuum or dust as much as we should, but we keep messes fairly contained and generally, our house is quite liveable. When we run errands, we usually do it together, both for the company and because if only one of us goes, we're bound to forget things. When we're really crunched for time, we split the errands between us.

Overall, we're very easygoing people, so it works for us to not have everything set in stone. For some couples, it works better to have a chore chart. Really though, as long as both people in a relationship are willing to pull their weight, it's really no problem at all.

 

[ForbiddenComma]

Working out great with my girlfriend. Only problem is her inflated ego.

In fact, her entire body is inflatable.

 

[Hard24Get]

I am a married entering med student in the fall. My husband works full-time (more like 60-65+ hrs, since he works at home also, once he comes back). I am trying to work out basic logistics of homekeeping (cooking, shopping, cleaning, etc...). Any suggestions?

I love the thread on Saving Money while you are in Med school. It has great ideas on crockpot cooking, etc. I was thinking of 'dinner's ready' where you spend about 3 hours and 'make' 6 meals and put it in the freezer. But it is expensive. Anyhow, I would love to hear how other students have handled or planning to handle it. 🙂

I am married and my husband has a real job+sig hobby (ditto what the others said about having an income! 👍 ). Yet, he is messy and reluctant to cook as men tend to be. I have a roaster and often put meat (chicken, turkey, beef, etc) in the oven overnight, and have found that if you rehydrate pasta in water overnight it cooks in about 2 mins. I also buy bags of potatoes and rice - between those staples and some veggies and bagels/english muffins, our cooking time is thankfully brief (and I study/watch tv in the meantime).
Cleaning is more difficult and largely happens on the weekend. If only he'd hang his clothes up in a timely fashion 🙁 . Any tips for that?

 

[LJDHC05]

Cleaning is more difficult and largely happens on the weekend. If only he'd hang his clothes up in a timely fashion 🙁 . Any tips for that?

They sell shock collars for training dogs...it's about all that would work for me. Please dont nag, that just makes things worse.

 

[mshheaddoc]

Nagging is what us women do best!!!!!! 😀

 

[marimiyaz]

I think the key is just to divide up the tasks early on and stick to it.

my bf (grad student)has a lot more time on his hands, so he does almost all the errands and grocery shopping. He cooks for me every night too (lucky for me, he loves to cook). In return (not exactly a fair trade), i do the dishes (or atleast put the dishes in the dishwasher).

As far as chores go, try to split everything up from the beginning, and as another poster said, divy them up according to preferences. for instance, he's in charge of taking the laundry to the machines and back and forth to the dryers, etc (which i hate, i always forget about my clothes). I'm in charge of folding the clothes (which i don't mind, he hates and is terrible at it anyway). He's in charge of filling the brita and i'm in charge of taking out the trash( i don't know how this happened, i'd like to switch this up if i could).

during exam time, i'll slack on my responsibilities, but overall i try to do what i have to do. it helps if your significant other is pretty patient and understanding.

 

[LJDHC05]

Nagging is what us women do best!!!!!! 😀

When my girlfriend naggs me, I am pretty much compelled to do the exact opposite of what she's nagging me about, to my own detriment most of the time. It's like this base, instinctual response that I can absolutely not control.

Case in point, we're out hiking in some drizzly conditions and I'm hopping from rock to rock on the way down as she's nagging "don't slip...stop jumping...nag nag nag" for an hour or so. So what happens??? I slip, severely sprain my ankle and have to hike 3+ miles losing about 3000' in altitude on an ankle that's now the size of a softball. The adreniline rush made the ankle pain tolerable for most of the way down, but her "I told you so...nag nag nag" for 3 miles was nearly too much to bear. I love her dearly, but to this day I still blame her for that incident. She nags me less now too!

 

[chrisjohn]

Didn't get the cooking option w/ my wife. She's independent.

So, I cook, and do all chores which require scrubbing, dishes too. She does about everything else, but I am often directed to do other tasks.

Folks, its all about splitting chores. Learn to live with it and live in PEACE. If not, why get married?

 

[McMD]

My husband and I have a pretty routine system as far as splitting up the chores and we'll stick to our system when I enter med school in the fall. He LOVES to cook and loves to shop for groceries, he also enjoys cookbook-reading...so he plans the meals, shops for groceries (I go with him most of the time), and does the majority of the cooking. I don't like to cook, but I enjoy "helping him"...so I help (of course if I have exams or need to study, I won't be helping). In return, I do all the dishes, clean the house, and fold all the laundry...though he washes all the laundry. We have pretty much split up the household chores into what we actually enjoy doing and since he hates cleaning and folding laundry and I don't like cooking-it's worked out perfectly. I also can't study in a dirty house-so I don't want to rely on him to get that job done!

And about the nagging...my husband leaves dirty clothes on the floor-yes, it would take him only a second to put them in the dirty clothes hamper, but it would also take me the same amount of time. So instead of nagging, I just put them up and go about my day...not getting pissed off, and not nagging him...it makes for a much happier environment. I'm not saying that I don't nag him...just not about the little things!

 

[Church]

Don't nag? As it was put to me by my (female) boss in the Navy once:

Women don't burp, fart, or sweat. If we didn't b*tch and nag, we'd explode!

 

[Thievery Corp.]

I just finished my first year of med school, and my wife is just starting med school this year. We've had alot of experience during undergrad and her grad schooling.
As most have said, we split the chores and try to get them done all in one night-i.e. sunday night with the exception of those that should not wait-dishes and laundry.
She cooks all the food, I do 95% of the dishes. Crock pots and casserols are awsome, especially when thrown together on the weekends for the week.
I mow the lawn while she is getting the groceries.
The idea is to get these done at times when you need to break from studying, so that the time we do have together isn't spent running errands or doing chores. That said, friday, saturday nights and dinner are about the most time that we get together. Of course we have not complicated this with children. I have no clue how to work that 😕

 

[ShyRem]

I have a husband, two children, and two dogs. I went back to school for undergrad with that at home, and my husband (he's really awesome) who works full-time with unscheduled overtime (as in spur of the moment stuff that takes HOURS), told me flat out that my sole job was to do well in school. He did almost everything else. He does laundry. He vacuums, dusts, plays with the kids, cooks if I don't get to it first. He cleans the bathrooms. He takes out the garbage, mows the lawn, weeds. I had a flux year, and it's been very nice for us all. But he has reminded me sternly that once med school starts in 3 weeks, my SOLE JOB is to pass med school. That's it. Nothing else. Have I said my husband is really awesome??


No, you can't have him. 😀

 

[t33sg1rl]

there's a lot of good advice above... but don't stress out! During the first two years, finding time to cook and clean and run a household is NOT a problem. I don't have any trouble cooking dinner almost every night (in the 2-3 days before a test I turn that over to my sweetie). Generally our house is pretty clean, and we have a dog and a cat. So start streamlining your routine a little, but trust me, you'll have time. If you're satisfied with a pass, then 50 hours a week is reasonable-so you might end up doing more cooking/cleaning than your spouse!

 

[Hard24Get]

And about the nagging...my husband leaves dirty clothes on the floor-yes, it would take him only a second to put them in the dirty clothes hamper, but it would also take me the same amount of time. So instead of nagging, I just put them up and go about my day...not getting pissed off, and not nagging him...it makes for a much happier environment. I'm not saying that I don't nag him...just not about the little things!

Ah, that was me until the first time I had papers everywhere for an important deadline and HE had the nerve to nag me about MY mess (turns out he didn't realize he was making any because I kept picking it up for him). 🙄

 

[beefballs]

nagging-depends on the person getting nagged, I can get fairly combative/defensive when I feel attacked and nagging/guilting is a weapon. If you need something from me ask, don't nag me-my wife understands the more bees with honey than vinegar scenario