I'm a fellow applicant but I just spoke to my advisor about a similar situation (different schools) and I figured I'd share his advice. He pointed out faculty and fellows at the top programs don't all come from the same places/the top ranked programs. He stressed that while going to a top ranked program opens some doors, your performance in residency is the most important factor (as long as the program has at least a couple of well known faculty). Your performance will be the basis of your letters and phone calls and your performance will likely be highly correlated with your overall happiness. Thus, he recommended family/personal happiness as the #1 criteria when ranking the programs. 3 years fly by when your family and you are happy, but can really drag on if your family and you are not happy.
I hope this helps others -- it definitely helped me put things in perspective with my rank list. Good luck everyone!
This is why I'm torn. Yes, family is very important, but I feel like quality of training is also very important. Putting fellowship placement consideration aside, these 3 years will lay the foundation for the rest of my career. So it would make sense to go to a program that provides the strongest training possible, that allows exposure to all sorts of pathology and subspecialties, so when I'm out in the real working world without any backup, I know how to handle any sort of complicated cases. The 3 programs I'm considering, I would be happy at any of them...so moving my family would just be a disruption temporarily for 3 years. With that being said though, I feel like I would be the happiest at Stanford because of location and my family would be content without having to go through any relocation/job disruptions. I am completely torn on which factor to weigh higher.
If I am interested in settling in Northern CA after fellowship, whether it be academics or private, (haven't decided) is it better to do residency that's local (Stanford) so there's some sort of connection to the area, or is it better to go to a better training program? Especially taking into account the competetitive job market in northern CA?