Residency Blues

[doc2627]

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Hi,

I'm currently a PGY-1 resident/intern in the north- just started this june. I'm from the south and have lived there most of my life. I went to school, college, and med school down there. I am having a very hard time adjusting to my new environment. I'm homesick like crazy. I'm in a 4 year program so I keep telling myself they will go by fast. To make it even harder, I am newly engaged and my fiance lives in the south. The other interns in my year are great and fun to hang out with, yet I still feel lonely. I feel so nauseated every morning I have to work. I cry all the time. I hate this feeling and I cant keep feeling this way. It effects my work and it effects me physically. At times I feel like quitting and just going back home. Any advice on how to get through these four years? It does get better right?

 

[dotdash]

You can do it. Hang in there. There are always moments (or days or weeks) when things look really bleak. But those moments pass.

Can you get support from somewhere? An older resident, maybe? Tell someone how you are feeling and ask for some support. You will find people will bend over backwards to be nice, but you might have to be pretty clear about what you need.

Also -- you probably shouldn't make any decisions when you are as stressed as you sound. When things look a bit better, you can rationally decide the best for you.

 

[NotAProgDirector]

I would highly recommend you see someone about this. It's possible that some form of treatment would make you feel better. I doubt time alone will help unless your social issues will improve -- i.e. if your fiance is coming to live with you in the next frw month. Especially if you're from the south, when it gets cold and the days get shorter, you might find these symptoms worse. See a physician and be evaluated now.

 

[TaeK]

During orientation, we were told that there is a employee health center or something made SPECIFICALLY for these types of feelings. I would imagine most programs have such a thing where you can talk to somebody and get some help. Definitely worth looking into and it's confidential.

 

[Frugal Traveler]

It sounds like you have had a hard time, especially with your fiance so far away. Plus, intern year is difficult to adjust to! I agree with the assessment and plan of the above posts... you need to talk about this with someone in a confidential setting (employee health).

Hang in there... life is tough sometimes but there are brighter days ahead 🙂

Best wishes in your travels throughout life ,

Frugal Traveler

 

[Pir8DeacDoc]

Leaving the South and heading to the Northeast is a big transition. Depending where exactly in the north you are, things can get really gloomy in the depths of winter (which we have no idea about coming from the South) So I agree with that others that you should talk with someone about your feelings now, before it gets worse.

Good luck!

 

[sam1999]

Sorry to hear your situation. I am just wondering, Ist year residency is usually very busy to think any thing else. Perhaps you need to make some Yankee friends.

Here is something for you, "10 miles behind me and 10000 more to go".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dRNjtFImA4Q&feature=related

 

[DarthNeurology]

Hi,

I'm currently a PGY-1 resident/intern in the north- just started this june. I'm from the south and have lived there most of my life. I went to school, college, and med school down there. I am having a very hard time adjusting to my new environment. I'm homesick like crazy. I'm in a 4 year program so I keep telling myself they will go by fast. To make it even harder, I am newly engaged and my fiance lives in the south. The other interns in my year are great and fun to hang out with, yet I still feel lonely. I feel so nauseated every morning I have to work. I cry all the time. I hate this feeling and I cant keep feeling this way. It effects my work and it effects me physically. At times I feel like quitting and just going back home. Any advice on how to get through these four years? It does get better right?

This happened to me, I went from the south to the northeast. I think the only really good cure is to plan frequent, but short, trips if possible back home. Sure, it sounds crazy to fly out on a friday, and then maybe fly back on a sunday, but believe me, going back home, especially if you have a fiance is the best, maybe not only, cure.

It may be expensive, but if you have a golden weekend, do it every three or so months, it will save your sanity. People in the northeast IMHO are generally grumpier and can be mean when compared to southern people and living with them can make you depressed. Plus it sucks watching all the leaves die each year. Your misery will get worse. People in the northeast have making a fine art out of needling people to death and wasting times in long conversations that go no where and don't advance patient care . . .

 

[Ludicolo]

People in the northeast IMHO are generally grumpier and can be mean when compared to southern people and living with them can make you depressed. Plus it sucks watching all the leaves die each year. Your misery will get worse. People in the northeast have making a fine art out of needling people to death and wasting times in long conversations that go no where and don't advance patient care . . .

And people from the south are poikilothermic, thin-skinned types who move and speak too slowly. We northeasterners aren't mean. We just want you out of our way. We got things to do. 😉

Seriously though, I echo the recommendations to get help and counseling. Frequent visits back home helps as well, if financially you can swing it. But a seemingly obvious question for the OP: why would you put yourself in a situation (4 years away from your obvious comfort zone: your family, fiancé, support system) where you’ve essentially set yourself up for failure?

Because 4 years flies by when you’re having fun. It can be an eternity if you’re miserable.

 

[blanche]

It does get better....or else you become numb and it becomes less painful. One of the two🙂

I'd echo the statements to wait things out...give yourself the time to adjust to things, it's a big transition. But be realistic also--your health will suffer as a resident, like it or not (may be something mild like not exercising as much, being fatigued, or something more like HTN, drinking..) You know your limits, and if mid-year things aren't getting better that might be a harbinger for long stressful 4 years. You can switch out.

 

[maceo]

I would highly recommend you see someone about this. It's possible that some form of treatment would make you feel better. I doubt time alone will help unless your social issues will improve -- i.e. if your fiance is coming to live with you in the next frw month. Especially if you're from the south, when it gets cold and the days get shorter, you might find these symptoms worse. See a physician and be evaluated now.

oh boy! now she/he needs treatment. antidepressant and the slipery slope to mental illness huh?

this is straight up home sickness.. and making it worse is the fact that the area she/he is in is vastly different (the north, winters, coldness, curt abrupt people, the impersonal nature of the area, snow, lots o rain, sleet..... darkness.).. no offense to anyone im from here.....

My advice...... hang inthere.. truly.. four years flies flies by.. as time goes on it will get easier.. until its so easy you can do it blindfolded.. so easy youll be saying.. i can only live in NY... anyplace else pales in comparison.. so easy youll be saying... I LOVE THE YANKEES.. So easy youll actually see the charm in NEW YORKERS... it takes some time.. but trust me it is there.. good luck and DO NOT TRANSFER.. this is an opportunity for huge huge personal growth

 

[Frugal Traveler]

oh boy! now she/he needs treatment. antidepressant and the slipery slope to mental illness huh?

this is straight up home sickness.. and making it worse is the fact that the area she/he is in is vastly different (the north, winters, coldness, curt abrupt people, the impersonal nature of the area, snow, lots o rain, sleet..... darkness.).. no offense to anyone im from here.....

My advice...... hang inthere.. truly.. four years flies flies by.. as time goes on it will get easier.. until its so easy you can do it blindfolded.. so easy youll be saying.. i can only live in NY... anyplace else pales in comparison.. so easy youll be saying... I LOVE THE YANKEES.. So easy youll actually see the charm in NEW YORKERS... it takes some time.. but trust me it is there.. good luck and DO NOT TRANSFER.. this is an opportunity for huge huge personal growth

Dx = surgery attending

 

[Winged Scapula]

Dx = surgery attending

Not everything is as it seems. maceo is *not* a surgery attending.

 

[mercaptovizadeh]

Hi,

I'm currently a PGY-1 resident/intern in the north- just started this june. I'm from the south and have lived there most of my life. I went to school, college, and med school down there. I am having a very hard time adjusting to my new environment. I'm homesick like crazy. I'm in a 4 year program so I keep telling myself they will go by fast. To make it even harder, I am newly engaged and my fiance lives in the south. The other interns in my year are great and fun to hang out with, yet I still feel lonely. I feel so nauseated every morning I have to work. I cry all the time. I hate this feeling and I cant keep feeling this way. It effects my work and it effects me physically. At times I feel like quitting and just going back home. Any advice on how to get through these four years? It does get better right?

I grew up on the Mid-Atlantic, which is sort of north. Then I went to college in far northern New England. A lot worse weather, colder people.

What I noticed is that while people are outwardly distant and reserved, if you develop a good friendship with a New Englander, it's a friendship for keeps.

Don't seek counseling. Your feelings are normal. Nurture that relationship with your fiance (can he visit you if you don't have time to go down? can your family (parents/siblings) visit you to cheer you up every now and then?) and make friends where you are right now. I'm sure it will get better.