Seems to be the season for rants...So why not?

[Freesia88]

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There is no way I can say this without coming across either as whiny or arrogant or worse both so I am just going to say it. Hopefully, I'm not the only person on here who feels this way, seeing as we're all overachievers to an extent.

Why is it that I feel like I have to apologize for or downplay the fact that I am an above the average student to get along with my class mates? I will admit that I get impatient with my classmates who are slackers and have been known to be patronizing, however it seems like I get along with everybody untill they see or hear about my score on the latest exam then it's like I am trying to show them up. I cannot offer advise regarding studying , ask a question in class or correct someone elses error without getting looks and eye rolls.

I am proud of my GPA ( I work my a** off for it, after all), I am proud of the fact that I am self aware and able to articulate myself clearly. I am proud of the fact that I am a conscientious and dilligent student. Why do i feel like I need to downplay that aspect to fit in?

Not to play the race card but I feel like the situation is made worse by the fact that I am black and African. It feels like I am expected to be just a little dumber than the average person, speak English with a heavy accent, totally clueless about urban lifestyles and modern technolgy. WTH?

 

[Halogas]

There is no way I can say this without coming across either as whiny or arrogant or worse both so I am just going to say it. Hopefully, I'm not the only person on here who feels this way, seeing as we're all overachievers to an extent.

Why is it that I feel like I have to apologize for or downplay the fact that I am an above the average student to get along with my class mates? I will admit that I get impatient with my classmates who are slackers and have been known to be patronizing, however it seems like I get along with everybody untill they see or hear about my score on the latest exam then it's like I am trying to show them up. I cannot offer advise regarding studying , ask a question in class or correct someone elses error without getting looks and eye rolls.

I am proud of my GPA ( I work my a** off for it, after all), I am proud of the fact that I am self aware and able to articulate myself clearly. I am proud of the fact that I am a conscientious and dilligent student. Why do i feel like I need to downplay that aspect to fit in?

Not to play the race card but I feel like the situation is made worse by the fact that I am black and African. It feels like I am expected to be just a little dumber than the average person, speak English with a heavy accent, totally clueless about urban lifestyles and modern technolgy. WTH?

Bold 1: If they don't like you for who you are and have that mind state, then you should not be around them. They are probably only around you to make themselves feel better.

Bold 2: Then become the one to help change how people view you and your group. These things don't happen over night.

Don't worry about others, focus on yourself. Some people will never accept you for who you are, they will only look at what is on the outside and come to a conclusion there.

 

[Mountaineer12]

I'm kind of the same way, I hate when a group of people I'm hanging out with in class start talking about how awful their test score was or how hard they thought the exam was and then they get to me and I did good. It's almost like my dedication to getting good grades puts up a barrier between me and the 'average' students in my classes. I don't think you're arrogant OP, I've had similarly awkward situations.

 

[Fivo]

It sounds like you're the type that secludes yourself from the rest of the group for one reason or another. Stop considering yourself an outsider and you won't be treated like one.

 

[Arbor Vitae]

Not to play the race card but I feel like the situation is made worse by the fact that I am black and African. It feels like I am expected to be just a little dumber than the average person, speak English with a heavy accent, totally clueless about urban lifestyles and modern technolgy. WTH?

One of the most intelligent and well spoken fellow students I've ever met was an African immigrant who had an extremely thick accent. His articulation and thought-process using the English language was so different compared to a native English speaker, but I always enjoyed his presentations because he had such a refreshing way of thinking.

Haters can hate all they want.

 

[H Y F R]

How about you worry about yourself? Why is someone who is supposedly so legit academically worried about pleasing others?

 

[giantswing]

Its okay to be smarter than other people you just can't go around reminding people of it. Same for being beautiful.

 

[mimelim]

Nobody knew how good or bad of a student I was. Nobody knew my grades, MCAT, Step 1 score etc. Why does anyone around you need to know? Why do YOU share? People will treat you differently based on your score, high or low. Why make it a factor?

 

[Jaqen Hghar]

How about you worry about yourself? Why is someone who is supposedly so legit academically worried about pleasing others?

Why does everybody here want to be a hermit. I like having friends.

 

[FattySlug]

Nobody knew how good or bad of a student I was. Nobody knew my grades, MCAT, Step 1 score etc. Why does anyone around you need to know? Why do YOU share? People will treat you differently based on your score, high or low. Why make it a factor?

Not that I agree completely on OP's sentiments but sometimes people ask you point blank question like "what did you get on the MCAT, tests etc" You can either tell the truth and will have them treat you accordingly to the score or not tell them which would also trigger them to treat you another way. I assume that the OP was not bragging about his grades.

My take on this? Be true to who you are if they treat you differently and so be it. We all try to fit in to a certain extent but no need to go too far to do so. You know where to draw the line.

 

[pre med 2014]

Its okay to be smarter than other people you just can't go around reminding people of it. Same for being beautiful.

Same for being rich.

A lot of rich kids have to downplay their wealth so they can fit in with the other kids. It is a hard life.

 

[chemsmith]

First world thread.

 

[lobo.solo]

Nobody knew how good or bad of a student I was. Nobody knew my grades, MCAT, Step 1 score etc. Why does anyone around you need to know? Why do YOU share? People will treat you differently based on your score, high or low. Why make it a factor?

This^... People don't even know I want to pursue medicine😀. When people ask me about how I did in a test or research project or something, I usually tell them I did "good" without revealing to many details. I like my privacy.

 

[tn4596]

Same for being rich.

A lot of rich kids have to downplay their wealth so they can fit in with the other kids. It is a hard life.

i kno right? for my 16th birthday my parents wanna gimme a mercedes but i have to play it down to a camaro ss. life is so hard.
jk, i am poor as crap. OP u r so dramatic, who care what other people think of u.

 

[Camy99]

Haters can hate all they want.

My first thought. 😎

First world thread.

My second thought.


Congratulations on your achievements, dude. Now just roll with it.

 

[Freesia88]

I don't exactly announce what grades I have or go around reminding people how much smarter I am. There are smarter people out there than me and there are people who struggle with academics. I don't need to make people feel low to feel good. What kind of a jerk do you think I am?

Its hard for others not to know your grade when the teacher dumps test papers in a pile and you have to go fishing, or as someone else said when you are asked a point blank question. I cannot comfortably take part in conversations about how hard a class is (which seems to be the conversation du jour for every freakin' class I take) because I do not find it hard. I study, I pre-read my chapters, I do research when I don't get it. I go all out to make sure I get the best possible grades, neurotic premed that I am, so I do excellent in most of my classes. Now I sound like a pompous ass.... Oh well.

As to the comments about pleasing others... I am trying to be friends with my classmates. Nothing wrong with that. Unless your solution is for me to stick my nose in the air and revel in my academic legitimacy and superiority? I can see that going down very well.

I really am just curious as to other peoples experiences with this situation and how they deal with it.


And one more thing... I am Girl 😀.

 

[Rumalum]

as a white guy who consistently got the highest grades, the opposite isn't fun either. eventually, people only talk to you when they want homework answers or help

 

[Jaqen Hghar]

And one more thing... I am Girl 😀.

Well that changes things...

1. Use boobs.
2. Use boobs.
3. ????
4. Profit

 

[SpacemanSpifff]

And one more thing... I am Girl 😀.

You sound like struggle to relate to dudes.

 

[mimelim]

I don't exactly announce what grades I have or go around reminding people how much smarter I am. There are smarter people out there than me and there are people who struggle with academics. I don't need to make people feel low to feel good. What kind of a jerk do you think I am?

Its hard for others not to know your grade when the teacher dumps test papers in a pile and you have to go fishing, or as someone else said when you are asked a point blank question. I cannot comfortably take part in conversations about how hard a class is (which seems to be the conversation du jour for every freakin' class I take) because I do not find it hard. I study, I pre-read my chapters, I do research when I don't get it. I go all out to make sure I get the best possible grades, neurotic premed that I am, so I do excellent in most of my classes. Now I sound like a pompous ass.... Oh well.

As to the comments about pleasing others... I am trying to be friends with my classmates. Nothing wrong with that. Unless your solution is for me to stick my nose in the air and revel in my academic legitimacy and superiority? I can see that going down very well.

I really am just curious as to other peoples experiences with this situation and how they deal with it.


And one more thing... I am Girl 😀.

I have been asked point blank by people about my grades and scores. I tell them what I've told every person since my freshman year of college, "I don't care about my grade and I don't think you should either." We can debate about caring about your own grades, completely different topic, but there is no good reason for someone to care about YOUR grades. It should be completely and totally irrelevant to them. If they do care, they are either judging you or comparing you to themselves. I don't associate with people that are that way, at least the ones that are open about it. I told my friends in medical school that we could share our lives and study time for step 1, but I wouldn't tell them my score and would never ask them for theirs. Consequentially about 10 of us never shared our scores with anyone. And to be honest, I think we were ALL better off for it.

If you go to a decent sized school, I can guarantee you that there are people in your class that don't discuss how difficult a class is more than the minimum. If you can't find them, then stop trying to be friends with people in your class and explore the rest of the student population at your school. They don't share your interests, so why would you waste your time trying to develop something that isn't there?

In the end, I know maybe 5 people's step 1 scores from my medical school. They either fall into the category of 'show off' or someone asking a confidential question about their application or something. I know maybe 6-7 MCAT/GPAs scores and they were ALL showing off. I'm not denying that in undergrad sometimes classes make it difficult to keep grades out of the conversation entirely. But someone seeing the occasional test or paper is not going to make a big difference.

 

[kpcrew]

You sound like struggle to relate to dudes.

hahaha very nice

 

[AestheticGod]

Hmm let's see..

1) Do you tell people your score before they even ask? IF you do, then I can see why they don't like you. No one likes a showoff.

2) What school do YOU go to? I don't know about you, but whenever I do the best in an exam, everyone wants to be my friends cause they think I'm smart and ****.

3) I'm sorry, but did you really just play the race card? No one cares that you're black. This is 2012.

4) Maybe it's the way you talk? You may talk arrogantly and not realize it? IDK

5) Hatas fon hate

 

[BlueLabel]

Why is it that I feel like I have to apologize for or downplay the fact that I am an above the average student to get along with my class mates? I will admit that I get impatient with my classmates who are slackers and have been known to be patronizing, however it seems like I get along with everybody untill they see or hear about my score on the latest exam then it's like I am trying to show them up. I cannot offer advise regarding studying , ask a question in class or correct someone elses error without getting looks and eye rolls.

Not to play the race card but I feel like the situation is made worse by the fact that I am black and African. It feels like I am expected to be just a little dumber than the average person, speak English with a heavy accent, totally clueless about urban lifestyles and modern technolgy. WTH?

Paragraph 1: sounds like you are kind of an annoying person. Most people don't take kindly to impatient, patronizing show-offs. You know, if you were nicer to your peers I'm sure they would respect you for your intelligence AND your modesty. Seems your problem is a lack of grace.

Paragraph 2: not to play the race card, but... *immediately plays race card*. Honestly if you think race is a factor, I'm sure that that's entirely possible. But don't say you won't discuss race as a segue into a discussion of it. That's very distracting.

However, if you are hot and exotic-looking, I retract the above and instead propose marriage.

 

[Freesia88]

Hmm let's see..

1) Do you tell people your score before they even ask? IF you do, then I can see why they don't like you. No one likes a showoff.

2) What school do YOU go to? I don't know about you, but whenever I do the best in an exam, everyone wants to be my friends cause they think I'm smart and ****.

3) I'm sorry, but did you really just play the race card? No one cares that you're black. This is 2012.

4) Maybe it's the way you talk? You may talk arrogantly and not realize it? IDK

5) Hatas fon hate

1. No. Again, what kind of a jerk do you think I am?

2. Local Community College.

3. You obviously do not read many threads on SDN if you think nobody cares that I am black. (I do unfortunately)

4. I will concede this. But then again, I attended 7 years boarding school run by missionaries in an ex-British colony. They do not exactly teach you colloquial English. I try Americanisms from time to time and mostly sound ridiculous and the end result is people patronizing me, which really annoys me (ironically). Case in point, I was talking to a friend about a hot guy and I told her "I'd hit him" Yes, feel free to laugh.

5. Brush your shoulder off 😀 Dust your shoulder off? See? 🙁

I am done trying to defend myself.

 

[Narmerguy]

as a white guy who consistently got the highest grades, the opposite isn't fun either. eventually, people only talk to you when they want homework answers or help

Cause somehow that's a common occurrence for white guys?

 

[Rumalum]

I am done trying to defend myself.

you have nothing to defend. if a bunch of *******es are jealous of your grades, screw them. The fact of the matter is you'll end up in a med school, and they'll end up as a barista. If people can't take responsibility for themselves and fail as a result, should anyone really care? People have such an annoying sense of entitlement and take their privilege completely for granted

 

[AestheticGod]

1. No. Again, what kind of a jerk do you think I am?

2. Local Community College.

3. You obviously do not read many threads on SDN if you think nobody cares that I am black. (I do unfortunately)

4. I will concede this. But then again, I attended 7 years boarding school run by missionaries in an ex-British colony. They do not exactly teach you colloquial English. I try Americanisms from time to time and mostly sound ridiculous and the end result is people patronizing me, which really annoys me (ironically). Case in point, I was talking to a friend about a hot guy and I told her "I'd hit him" Yes, feel free to laugh.

5. Brush your shoulder off 😀 Dust your shoulder off? See? 🙁

I am done trying to defend myself.

That may be the reason :/
CC isn't really known for having intelligent people in all honesty (i went to one too)

 

[Arbor Vitae]

Hmm let's see..

1) Do you tell people your score before they even ask? IF you do, then I can see why they don't like you. No one likes a showoff.

2) What school do YOU go to? I don't know about you, but whenever I do the best in an exam, everyone wants to be my friends cause they think I'm smart and ****.

3) I'm sorry, but did you really just play the race card? No one cares that you're black. This is 2012.

4) Maybe it's the way you talk? You may talk arrogantly and not realize it? IDK

5) Hatas fon hate

Then why I can I find multiple threads on here proving otherwise?

 

[AestheticGod]

Then why I can I find multiple threads on here proving otherwise?

Disagreeing with URM rules =/= racist

 

[NightGod]

I will admit that I get impatient with my classmates who are slackers and have been known to be patronizing, however it seems like I get along with everybody untill they see or hear about my score on the latest exam then it's like I am trying to show them up. I cannot offer advise regarding studying , ask a question in class or correct someone elses error without getting looks and eye rolls.

This honestly sounds like your biggest issue. I've had classes were everyone knew each others grades and never had an issue with consistently having one of the top grades in the class. I'm going on the assumption that the advice you're giving is largely unsolicited, or is given to someone who says "man, how do you do that?" and you're following that up with a 10 minute discussion of your study techniques and what they should be doing differently.

Best advice I can offer is to start with a very general "I just study my ass off/I'm lucky and just get the material/I spend way too much time doing sample problems" and only go into detail if they keep pushing for it. When people talk about how hard a class is, I generally either keep quiet or comment on an area or two I found particularly challenging (I have this to say about Physics II "**** optics") and leave out the stuff that I found easy. Everyone I was more than a little acquainted with knew (roughly) my grades and what my future plans were and I never once had an issue with it. Stay humble, be friendly, make your grades the backdrop of your experience at school when talking with other people rather than the only topic that comes up when you speak to them.

 

[Freesia88]

This honestly sounds like your biggest issue. I've had classes were everyone knew each others grades and never had an issue with consistently having one of the top grades in the class. I'm going on the assumption that the advice you're giving is largely unsolicited, or is given to someone who says "man, how do you do that?" and you're following that up with a 10 minute discussion of your study techniques and what they should be doing differently.

Best advice I can offer is to start with a very general "I just study my ass off/I'm lucky and just get the material/I spend way too much time doing sample problems" and only go into detail if they keep pushing for it. When people talk about how hard a class is, I generally either keep quiet or comment on an area or two I found particularly challenging (I have this to say about Physics II "**** optics") and leave out the stuff that I found easy. Everyone I was more than a little acquainted with knew (roughly) my grades and what my future plans were and I never once had an issue with it. Stay humble, be friendly, make your grades the backdrop of your experience at school when talking with other people rather than the only topic that comes up when you speak to them.

You are definitely on to something. I realize that I am doing something wrong if I keep getting these reactions. Again not to say that I brag about my grades or go around acting like a know it all but perhaps I could try to be less solicitous and not assume that they seriously are asking me how I do it, when they do ask me how I do it.

The general trend here, going by the responses, seem to be for me to keep my mouth shut. So I'm taking that home with me. Hopefully i don;t start coming across as stuck up. But then again why do i care? I likely will have nothing to do with these people again after these classes...I think ?

Thanks guys.

 

[OREdwardsJR]

You are definitely on to something. I realize that I am doing something wrong if I keep getting these reactions. Again not to say that I brag about my grades or go around acting like a know it all but perhaps I could try to be less solicitous and not assume that they seriously are asking me how I do it, when they do ask me how I do it.

The general trend here, going by the responses, seem to be for me to keep my mouth shut. So I'm taking that home with me. Hopefully i don;t start coming across as stuck up. But then again why do i care? I likely will have nothing to do with these people again after these classes...I think ?

Thanks guys.

You never know, it's good to not burn bridges if at all possible even if you think that you'll never see that person again.

 

[Freesia88]

Paragraph 1: sounds like you are kind of an annoying person. Most people don't take kindly to impatient, patronizing show-offs. You know, if you were nicer to your peers I'm sure they would respect you for your intelligence AND your modesty. Seems your problem is a lack of grace.

Paragraph 2: not to play the race card, but... *immediately plays race card*. Honestly if you think race is a factor, I'm sure that that's entirely possible. But don't say you won't discuss race as a segue into a discussion of it. That's very distracting.

However, if you are hot and exotic-looking, I retract the above and instead propose marriage.

I had not seen this and when I did I really really tried to ignore you, what with me not defending myself anymore and all. But seriously? Paragraph 1? You immediately assume that I am a show off and not nice to my peers.You disregard the fact that I am concerned enough about what is going on and about inadvertedly hurting other peoples feelings to open myself up to the potential insult that was likely to come from posting something like this on this forum of all places. Lack of grace? (snorts)

And my statement "Not to play the race card..." was supposed to be an indication of the fact that I normally prefer not to play that card because honestly, it's bad taste and there is not much I can do to change how people perceive my skin color.

You, sir, are an example of the kind of person who sets my teeth on the edge with your assumptions.

However, if you are tall, fit and handsome, going into dermatology, like dogs and half as obsessed with the writings of J.R.R Tolkien as I am, I retract all the above and say "Lets discuss the terms of this marriage you speak of."

 

[gettheleadout]

I have been asked point blank by people about my grades and scores. I tell them what I've told every person since my freshman year of college, "I don't care about my grade and I don't think you should either."

Everyone I know that says something like this comes off as paranoid, reclusive, or insecure. Just my experience. I've gotten some objectively bad grades on tests in my life, and if someone asks me what I got on a test or in a course I'll tell them regardless of what it was. It's precisely because I don't care if someone changes their opinion about me based on my performance, whether in absolute terms or compared to their own, that I don't see a need to hide these types of things from people. It's never been a big deal to me to keep my grades this private, confidential thing, and while I respect others' right to keep their own to themselves, I think a lot of people fail to do so tactfully.

 

[TheWeeIceMan]

I will admit that I get impatient with my classmates who are slackers and have been known to be patronizing

Paragraph 1: sounds like you are kind of an annoying person. Most people don't take kindly to impatient, patronizing show-offs.

I had not seen this and when I did I really really tried to ignore you, what with me not defending myself anymore and all. But seriously? Paragraph 1? You immediately assume that I am a show off and not nice to my peers.

You realized that you kind of implied some of these qualities, right?

You shouldn't have to apologize for doing well in class, but from what you are saying, there may be things that you are doing, either consciously or not, that could be causing the type of reactions (ie. eye-rolling) that you are getting.

 

[NightGod]

You are definitely on to something. I realize that I am doing something wrong if I keep getting these reactions. Again not to say that I brag about my grades or go around acting like a know it all but perhaps I could try to be less solicitous and not assume that they seriously are asking me how I do it, when they do ask me how I do it.

The general trend here, going by the responses, seem to be for me to keep my mouth shut. So I'm taking that home with me. Hopefully i don;t start coming across as stuck up. But then again why do i care? I likely will have nothing to do with these people again after these classes...I think ?

Thanks guys.

Honestly, I used to be a lot like you, it seems. It took me a long time to realize that when someone asked me how I was getting my good grades they really weren't asking me for details, they were asking the same way you ask someone "how are you doing?" when you meet them on the street. I *have* had a couple of people who asked for more specifics and that is the only time I ever offered up advice. I learned to basically treat my grades about the same as the weather when it came to talking about them-almost no one really wants a 5 minute discussion on current weather trends when they say "man, it's hot" just like almost no one wants a 5 minute talk on study habits when they say "wow, that test was rough". But, much like everyone in the same area experiences weather, everyone in the same class experiences grades, so it's a natural topic of conversation. Just learn to keep the conversation light until someone pushes you for specifics-let others be the ones who 'escalate' the tone of the conversation. If you're known for doing well, it's likely to happen at some point or the other.

 

[BlueLabel]

However, if you are tall, fit and handsome, going into dermatology, like dogs and half as obsessed with the writings of J.R.R Tolkien as I am, I retract all the above and say "Lets discuss the terms of this marriage you speak of."

Although I might be good-looking enough to match into derm someday (this is of course the most important criterion), I am only 5'10" and Tolkein sucks, so it sounds like a mèsalliance. Good luck learning how to play well with others.

 

[hiyaman]

Everyone I know that says something like this comes off as paranoid, reclusive, or insecure. Just my experience. I've gotten some objectively bad grades on tests in my life, and if someone asks me what I got on a test or in a course I'll tell them regardless of what it was. It's precisely because I don't care if someone changes their opinion about me based on my performance, whether in absolute terms or compared to their own, that I don't see a need to hide these types of things from people. It's never been a big deal to me to keep my grades this private, confidential thing, and while I respect others' right to keep their own to themselves, I think a lot of people fail to do so tactfully.

haha, i'm the same way. Although when its a good grade and someone asks me and I tell them, it always feels like i'm bragging.

 

[Freesia88]

Although I might be good-looking enough to match into derm someday (this is of course the most important criterion), I am only 5'10" and Tolkein sucks, so it sounds like a mèsalliance. Good luck learning how to play well with others.

??? Correlation?

And Tolkien does NOT suck. Jeez.

Honestly, I used to be a lot like you, it seems. It took me a long time to realize that when someone asked me how I was getting my good grades they really weren't asking me for details, they were asking the same way you ask someone "how are you doing?" when you meet them on the street. I *have* had a couple of people who asked for more specifics and that is the only time I ever offered up advice. I learned to basically treat my grades about the same as the weather when it came to talking about them-almost no one really wants a 5 minute discussion on current weather trends when they say "man, it's hot" just like almost no one wants a 5 minute talk on study habits when they say "wow, that test was rough". But, much like everyone in the same area experiences weather, everyone in the same class experiences grades, so it's a natural topic of conversation. Just learn to keep the conversation light until someone pushes you for specifics-let others be the ones who 'escalate' the tone of the conversation. If you're known for doing well, it's likely to happen at some point or the other.

🙂 Social misfits of the world unite?

You realized that you kind of implied some of these qualities, right?

You shouldn't have to apologize for doing well in class, but from what you are saying, there may be things that you are doing, either consciously or not, that could be causing the type of reactions (ie. eye-rolling) that you are getting.

Not defending myself, not defending myself, not defending myself.....The point of this thread was for me to learn. So once again... not defending myself.

haha, i'm the same way. Although when its a good grade and someone asks me and I tell them, it always feels like i'm bragging.

I feel your pain.

 

[Dan1804]

I also propose marriage (although I'm not tall, nor do I plan on pursuing dermatology). : ) But, seriously, it is poor form for someone to ask about a classmate's grades. (I've even seen that listed explicitly in old-school etiquette handbooks). "I did well" is the best response. Period. Move on. Save advice for tutoring sessions, where folks are actually looking for help, and, perhaps, you're even getting paid to give it.

 

[BlueLabel]

I also propose marriage (although I'm not tall, nor do I plan on pursuing dermatology)

The Tolkein line leads me to assume she is the kind of girl that likes horses and eating unfrosted Pop-Tarts while watching reruns of Digimon and playing Angry Birds on her Droid smartphone. But then I am highly judgmental, and others might consider these positive qualities.

 

[Freesia88]

The Tolkein line leads me to assume she is the kind of girl that likes horses and eating unfrosted Pop-Tarts while watching reruns of Digimon and playing Angry Birds on her Droid smartphone. But then I am highly judgmental, and others might consider these positive qualities.

(Looking totally nonplussed) Huh?

 

[911 Turbo]

There is no way I can say this without coming across either as whiny or arrogant or worse both so I am just going to say it. Hopefully, I'm not the only person on here who feels this way, seeing as we're all overachievers to an extent.

Let's dive headfirst into the derp then, shall we?

Why is it that I feel like I have to apologize for or downplay the fact that I am an above the average student to get along with my class mates? I will admit that I get impatient with my classmates who are slackers and have been known to be patronizing, however it seems like I get along with everybody untill they see or hear about my score on the latest exam then it's like I am trying to show them up. I cannot offer advise regarding studying , ask a question in class or correct someone elses error without getting looks and eye rolls.

There is something wrong with the way you are coming across if you are met with rolled eyes every time you ask a question in class. And if your classmates are slackers, that's THEIR business. You have no right to judge them.

There are two different scenarios I can think about when you describe your situation

Scenario 1:

classmate: Hey venom what did you get on the last exam?? 100?
venom: haha no... 95.
Classmate: haha **** you man! I got a 65
venom: its ok dude you will do better next time.
classmate: yeah...


Scenario 2.

classmate: Hey venom, what did you get on the last exam??
venom: ROFL THAT EXAM WAS SO EASY I GOT A 95! Did you see the class average? These *****s had a 52 class average!
classmate: yeah...
venom: so what did you get
classmate: a 43 (starts crying, runs out of the classroom)


Are you sure your responses aren't along the lines of scenario 2?


And what is the need to be patronizing? What if you were thrown into a high level physics class, like a black hole class? You would be the one making the 43, not because of your laziness, but because of your intellectual limitations. So how would you feel if someone scoffed at you because you just couldnt physically understand the material?

I am proud of my GPA ( I work my a** off for it, after all), I am proud of the fact that I am self aware and able to articulate myself clearly. I am proud of the fact that I am a conscientious and dilligent student. Why do i feel like I need to downplay that aspect to fit in?

There is a difference between being diligent and being a jerk. Guess what? The smartest people are usually the ones who never talk about grades at all. They never have to downplay anything because they are never even in that situation to begin with. Are you sure you aren't hiding any insecurities?

Not to play the race card but I feel like the situation is made worse by the fact that I am black and African. It feels like I am expected to be just a little dumber than the average person, speak English with a heavy accent, totally clueless about urban lifestyles and modern technolgy. WTH?

Not going to deny that racism isn't alive and well in the world. But maybe your high horse personality has something to do with it.





By the way, how did your classmates come around to knowing that you are a high scorer? Were they the first to ask you your grade? Or are you the first one to ask? Be honest.

 

[AestheticGod]

Let's dive headfirst into the derp then, shall we?



There is something wrong with the way you are coming across if you are met with rolled eyes every time you ask a question in class. And if your classmates are slackers, that's THEIR business. You have no right to judge them.

There are two different scenarios I can think about when you describe your situation

Scenario 1:

classmate: Hey venom what did you get on the last exam?? 100?
venom: haha no... 95.
Classmate: haha **** you man! I got a 65
venom: its ok dude you will do better next time.
classmate: yeah...


Scenario 2.

classmate: Hey venom, what did you get on the last exam??
venom: ROFL THAT EXAM WAS SO EASY I GOT A 95! Did you see the class average? These *****s had a 52 class average!
classmate: yeah...
venom: so what did you get
classmate: a 43 (starts crying, runs out of the classroom)


Are you sure your responses aren't along the lines of scenario 2?


And what is the need to be patronizing? What if you were thrown into a high level physics class, like a black hole class? You would be the one making the 43, not because of your laziness, but because of your intellectual limitations. So how would you feel if someone scoffed at you because you just couldnt physically understand the material?



There is a difference between being diligent and being a jerk. Guess what? The smartest people are usually the ones who never talk about grades at all. They never have to downplay anything because they are never even in that situation to begin with. Are you sure you aren't hiding any insecurities?



Not going to deny that racism isn't alive and well in the world. But maybe your high horse personality has something to do with it.





By the way, how did your classmates come around to knowing that you are a high scorer? Were they the first to ask you your grade? Or are you the first one to ask? Be honest.

 

[Freesia88]

Let's dive headfirst into the derp then, shall we?


There is something wrong with the way you are coming across if you are met with rolled eyes every time you ask a question in class. And if your classmates are slackers, that's THEIR business. You have no right to judge them.

And what is the need to be patronizing? What if you were thrown into a high level physics class, like a black hole class? You would be the one making the 43, not because of your laziness, but because of your intellectual limitations. So how would you feel if someone scoffed at you because you just couldnt physically understand the material?

There is a difference between being diligent and being a jerk. Guess what? The smartest people are usually the ones who never talk about grades at all. They never have to downplay anything because they are never even in that situation to begin with. Are you sure you aren't hiding any insecurities?

Not going to deny that racism isn't alive and well in the world. But maybe your high horse personality has something to do with it.

By the way, how did your classmates come around to knowing that you are a high scorer? Were they the first to ask you your grade? Or are you the first one to ask? Be honest.

By all means... I guess this kills that "Not defending myself" plan.

I realize there is something wrong with the way I am coming across and care enough about not being a jerk to ask for advise about it. And I am sorry, but if you chose to get on facebook or play games on your computer in class instead of trying to make sense of what the teacher is saying and roll your eyes at me when I raise my hand to ask a question, I reserve the right to judge you.

And I will not deny having a high horse personality sometimes. But then SDN tells me that most people of other races tend to think I am genetically predisposed to be dumb seeing as I am a black woman and that I have only a 60% chance of graduating med school since I likely will get in only becasue i am URM. Oh yeah, that I will always chose "thug lovin' " over the better more cultured man. And you wonder why I would feel a little smug when I kick their collective asses in class? I'm no angel, sorry to disappoint.

Once again, I do not announce my grades to everybody. My issue it seems has been that I am too honest and oversolicitous, which I assure you is about to end. And how to my classmates know I am a high scorer? I don't know...maybe when they see my test paper in the pile left in the corner by the teacher, or when they ask me and I am dumb enough (apparently) to answer honestly, or when the teacher announces as he did yesterday that I got the top score on a really hard test...doing me no favors.

I seriously came here to try to understand how to deal with this issue. The academic environment I have been exposed to before this was one where academic excellence was expected because it usually was your only way to a better life. Someone doing better than you was usually motivation for mostly friendly competiion and there was literally no secrecy to what grades you had, they were usually announced to everybody when test papers were returned.

I wasn't looking for sympathy either, I am not so naive as to believe that I would get it from here, although it has been nice to get some.

However, thank you for your directness. Sometimes, calling a person out is the best way to deal with issues.

 

[Narmerguy]

Everyone I know that says something like this comes off as paranoid, reclusive, or insecure. Just my experience. I've gotten some objectively bad grades on tests in my life, and if someone asks me what I got on a test or in a course I'll tell them regardless of what it was. It's precisely because I don't care if someone changes their opinion about me based on my performance, whether in absolute terms or compared to their own, that I don't see a need to hide these types of things from people. It's never been a big deal to me to keep my grades this private, confidential thing, and while I respect others' right to keep their own to themselves, I think a lot of people fail to do so tactfully.

I would have to agree with you here. Some people go through extraordinary lengths to avoid talking about this stuff and it just comes off as weird. We're the same way about money/income kind of stuff too--it kind of shows how we've come to let these things define us.

 

[FattySlug]

I would have to agree with you here. Some people go through extraordinary lengths to avoid talking about this stuff and it just comes off as weird. We're the same way about money/income kind of stuff too--it kind of shows how we've come to let these things define us.

apparently he thinks it's normal to give that response whenever his "friends" ask about his grades. "I don't care about my grades and I don't think you should either"? Are you freaking serious. You sound like someone with paranoia.

 

[NightGod]

And Tolkien does NOT suck. Jeez.

🙂 Social misfits of the world unite?

He doesn't suck and has all my respect for doing it first. I just think others have done it better using the foundation he laid.

The key is to still be a social misfit but get really good at hiding it 😉 The reactions I get when I let my true full-one nerd side peak out are pretty amazing LOL

Scenario 1:

classmate: Hey venom what did you get on the last exam?? 100?
venom: haha no... 95.
Classmate: haha **** you man! I got a 65
venom: its ok dude you will do better next time.
classmate: yeah...


Scenario 2.

classmate: Hey venom, what did you get on the last exam??
venom: ROFL THAT EXAM WAS SO EASY I GOT A 95! Did you see the class average? These *****s had a 52 class average!
classmate: yeah...
venom: so what did you get
classmate: a 43 (starts crying, runs out of the classroom)

Scenario 1: How I answer people in the class with me.

Scenario 2: How I answer people not in the class with me.

 

[Freesia88]

He doesn't suck and has all my respect for doing it first. I just think others have done it better using the foundation he laid.

The key is to still be a social misfit but get really good at hiding it 😉 The reactions I get when I let my true full-one nerd side peak out are pretty amazing LOL



Scenario 1: How I answer people in the class with me.

Scenario 2: How I answer people not in the class with me.

I am going to walk away from an argument on Tolkiens awesomeness before it gets bloody 🙂

Try being a black girl who likes the author who shall nolonger be named and Led Zeppelin, tell me how that works out for you in terms of amazed (re: What the heck?!!) reactions.

Scenario 1: How I intend to start answering people in my class, minues the part where I actually state what score I had.

Scenario 2: How my eveil twin wishes she could answer, except I would probably feel really guilty about making someone cry be laughing at them.

 

[altamont850]

I can tell that the OP is quite intelligent and often, although unfortunately, community colleges do not foster an academic/intellectual fervor. I believe that you would enjoy taking courses at a university rather than a CC. Universities offer more resources to bright students (such as Honors programs, research, major related clubs, etc) and you encounter far fewer mediocre students. Although you're still at a CC, focus on getting the best possible grades and taking classes in preparation for university. In my short life, I've realized the beauty of this quote: " Honor them when they honor you; disrespect and disregard them when they vilely treat you." You obviously know what you want to do but you should realize that not everyone is happy with your successes.

By the way, I'm an African American who listens to Black Sabbath and reads classic literature so I know what it is like to be seen as an oddity.