Sensitive Person... Possibly Afraid of Clinical Experience?

[thehillsarealive]

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Hello All!

So, a little about myself. For 4 years, I worked as a Health Home Aide, providing aide to the elderly. I loved it! It made me feel warm and I truly felt like I was helping out. I gained quite a lot of patient interaction and it truly made me interested in Health Care and Medicine. However, while I was dealing with healthcare, I didn't really deal with physically ill patients. They were usually mentally ill and I never really had a problem with that.

I recently received an offer to be an ER scribe at a hospital and needless to say, I was pretty darn excited! I finally felt that I was going to learn about the language and poetry behind medicine. The only downside to this was that I had actually really never been in an emergency room. With a turn of fate, however, last night my friend had a seizure in front of me at a pizzeria and I completely freaked out. My legs felt numb and I felt nauseous and could not open my eyes to see her body.... it felt soo surreal.

My friend was then relocated to the emergency room and I visited her. It was one of the most surreal experiences that I've ever had. As much as I was frightened by what I saw----screaming patients, frantic doctors, etc, I was still so curious. I wondered why everyone was there that night, what was the underlying heatlh problem, and what I could've done to help. Yet, I also felt a deep emotional connection with the patients. I felt their pain was just as much my pain and I felt that I understood them through their unspoken words, their groans and tears and their impatience (Yes, I am a female!). I felt both dizzy and stimulated. I mean: if you're not really in healthcare, how many times do you really see a sick person on average in one day? And here I was in a room of maybe 100 sick patients, more than I have ever seen in my lifetime. It was terribly overwhelming. I guess this really was my raw intro to healthcare and I was downright scared, dizzy, and anxious.

Could this mean that health care and medicine is not for me? Is it a normal reaction as it is the first time that I have seen really sick people? Do you ultimately become desensitized to such events in the hospital?

 

[justAstudent]

Volunteer in hospitals or somewhere with patients and see how you feel a few months into it.

 

[wholeheartedly]

It's ok to respond like that. You see a lot of crazy stuff in medicine and theED can definitely bring on some sensory overload. You just need to ease into being exposed to these things and take some time to adjust. You might never get used to it, and in that case it's a problem with your career plans, but most people are able to adjust to it enough to be ok with it.

 

[DoctorWhoo]

It's ok to respond like that. You see a lot of crazy stuff in medicine and theED can definitely bring on some sensory overload. You just need to ease into being exposed to these things and take some time to adjust. You might never get used to it, and in that case it's a problem with your career plans, but most people are able to adjust to it enough to be ok with it.

QFT. Try to volunteer in a less crazy setting and see if you are still overwhelmed... given that this was your first clinical experience and you got thrown in the deep end (while still emotionally shaken from your friends medical incident) I would not write off your chances in medicine. My hypothesis would be that you just had "the perfect storm" that would overwhelm almost anyone, let alone someone that hasn't spent much time in a hospital.

Best of luck

 

[Dr Tony T. Chopper]

Don't fret OP. You'll get used to it.

 

[Microglia]

Very normal. You will desensitize fairly quickly. Usually it's a rough first couple weeks for most people. If health care is your interest, give it a shot and see what happens after a month or two.

 

[frosted_flake]

In my experience, the patients who AREN'T moaning/groaning/crying are the ones who are in really bad shape. Think car accidents, other traumas. Thats always scary.
But as above posters have said, you'll quickly get used to it, but every once in a while you will see something that throws you for a loop.

 

[Awesome Sauceome]

Has no one seriously mentioned the obvious?

Dude if you see crap like that happen to your friends or family, it is 100% different than a stranger. Seriously... seen a dude's hand like torn off in the ER and it didnt phase me, just kept handing the tools to the doc in charge, you find a way to continue doing your job.

You see someone you care for in pain, even a little bit, and it can cause incredible emotional and physical discomfort for you.

You are 100% fine. Seeing something like that happen to a friend is 100% different than a patient. Also its not like you have to end up in EM as a doc.... there is a critical shortage in FM and geriatrics - which you seem to be espoused to- for which I imagine that there is significantly less "blood and guts."
In those situations just take deep, long, slow breaths, that is the key, concentrate on doing your job and breathing, thats all you need to focus on.

 

[frosted_flake]

I have seen seizures many times and it is down right horrifying to see the colors that some people change...
Scariest one was a pediatric seizure though... the kid turned a shade of purple I didn't know was possible... I will never forget what that looked like.

I've been scribing for about a year. Seeing a patient seize still frightens me. It's not a pleasant experience. If it was my friend having a seizure that would be even harder to see.

Take the job. It's excellent experience. You'll desensitize fast.

And has been said earlier... if a non-peds patient is crying/moaning, they're probably going to be fine. It's the quiet ones who might die.