Whilst heavily contemplating applying to medical school, another obstacle I've considered is being a single parent.
I've read some stories about people making it work due to having relatives who help with childcare during classes/residency, etc. But I haven't seen too much in regard to a single parent with no help whatsoever.
Do schools usually offer any help when it comes to this? Or is that school-dependent?
My child is soon to be 11 years old, and I have no help in regard to friends/family/or a significant other. I do everything, A through Z for my child.
On one hand, I have a deep desire for medical school and have always had. On another hand, I need to be realistic and see if there is a way to circumvent this and make it happen, or if I better move on.
If you have any insight, I'd love to hear it.
Hi there! As a single mom of a 5 yr old now entering her fourth year of medical school, I can say it has not been an easy route. I had my son in undergrad and had no help as well doing "A through Z" as you put it for my son. I was able to do school full time, work, and be a parent. When I started my first year I had no help either. My first semester had me
drowning because I thought I could still do it all on my own just as in undergrad especially since I wouldnt be working (living off of loans). Then again, my son was only several months from turning 3 when I started and still heavily dependent on me. Having an 11 year old who is growing into a young adult and becoming more independent would likely not be so difficult in this sense for you. I went to a school in the area I grew up in and luckily had a good friend to help me a 3 days a week to pick my son up from daycare to give me an extra few hours to study. You will likely need help at times and if there isn't someone you trust to voluntarily help, you will have to pay someone to assist you (like a sitter). I would suggest looking logistically at where you have the best network and apply in those areas first. Even if it is not a strong connection, its valuable. As your child is getting older there will be more programs for them to be involved in before/after school which can help, not to mention you can even study and get assignments done together. During my clinical years I was able to be at a rotation site close to my mom and stepdad and get some help from them during rotations. But again, by that time you will have a 14/15 yr old who can stay home alone, get to school etc. Its a bit different.
In terms of schools providing assistance, the general rule of thumb is none at all. There may be a handful of medical schools that offer some like this, and I'm unaware since its been a few years since I was applying and things can change. I had a lot of extra bills as a single parent without a roommate paying rent alone and also paying daycare costs, the schools DO NOT CARE. You have to go through an extensive process to get extra loan funds approved and keep in mind it may take several months to get them and you need to have a good credit score to be approved for these loans (federal or private) and would need a co-signer. On top of that, not working in med school and not having an income lends a lot of apartments to be quite inflexible when it comes to getting approved. If you are lucky the school may assist with speaking to the leasing office and/or you find an apartment complex amenable to accepting your loan disbursement as "income", understanding you role as a medical student. If not, you WILL need to have someone to co-sign a lease for you. Being that parents in medical school are a minority, and single parents even more so, there is really no present infrastructure to assist us unfortunately, and with the current U.S. administration, I worry it will only worsen. The schools are not made for us, and that has been extremely heart breaking and challenging to accept over the past 4 years. We are pretty much left to fend for ourselves, so you have to get creative and get help wherever you can even if it is not the best option. It requires sacrificing some of the ways you wanted to do things or raise your kids at times even.
Anything can be done if you want it enough, I honestly didn't expect the insurmountable number of hurdles I would have to go through in this journey, and in some ways my naivety and faith that I would make it work is probably the only thing that got me here. You have to step out of your comfort zone, struggle, and attempt to maintain your sanity every step of the way with a lot of pressures in all areas of your life (school, parenting, financially, emotionally, personally, etc). I have no idea your age either, and how many years you hope to work before retiring, in some ways the costs and amount of loans you will end up with on this journey become greater than what you can hope to pay off in a successful career in medicine (esp depending on specialty you choose). Being a doctor is not everything, and there are other options like PA, NP etc that offer much less school with much less loans and still in the field you love. Either way I'm sure you will do great on whichever path you take.
Good luck! <3
